by Kimberly Nee
"Nor am I.” Another step. “You are going to make me chase you, aren't you?"
"Drew Kennedy, do not take another step. I mean it. Not one more bloody step."
A grin played at his lips. “If you are going to scold me, love, at least use my given name."
"Well, I don't know your given name now, do I?"
He closed the gap between them, snaking his arms around her waist, ignoring the pain, ignoring the dizziness. He pulled her close, needing to feel her soft body against him. His lips brushed her ear as he whispered, “Andrew."
She tried to ignore the warmth of his breath on her neck, the heat from his hands seeping into her back, how his lips tickled her ear. “A—Andrew...” she repeated in a breathless whisper, her eyes drooping as his tongue moved lightly about the shell of her ear.
"Andrew Kiernan, if I really work you into a fury,” he growled.
Her knees threatened to buckle, her fingernails digging into his upper arms as she tried to steady herself. “Stop that..."
"No."
"Drew!"
"Ah-ah, love..."
Her head fell back as he nibbled down her throat. She had so missed his caresses. She did not wish him to stop, but she also did not wish for him to hurt himself, either. “Drew, stop it..."
"Never."
He was working magic with his mouth, melting her resolve with his unrelenting kisses. She swayed in his arms, feeling a bit dizzy from the heat spreading through her. It felt so wonderful, the way he brought her skin to life. So wonderful indeed. It was harder to breathe now, and she gripped him even tighter.
"Drew, this is insane,” she managed to whisper. “You are going to kill yourself."
"I'll die a happy man, then,” came his breathless reply, his lips scorching her flesh. His hand slid over the outer contour of her breast and she shivered as the jolt rushed through her. Then, the rough edge of his bandage pressed into her and her head cleared at once.
"Drew, stop.” She broke the embrace by placing her hands flat against his chest and giving a gentle push. “Please, there will be plenty of time once you have healed."
He swayed slightly, the lightheadedness returning. “Perhaps you are right, Heather."
"I am. Please, please go back to bed."
He touched her face gently. “As you wish."
She eased an arm about his waist, guiding him back to the bed. “I do not wish to go through the last four days ever again. You have no idea how terrified I was that you were going to die.” She helped him lie back down and pulled the blankets up to his shoulders. Perching on the edge of the bed, she touched his roughened cheek and murmured, “I don't want anything to happen to you. Don't you understand that? I almost lost you once; I do not wish to lose you ever again."
"I am not going anywhere, my lady,” he replied in a sleepy voice. “You have my word on that."
"I am going to hold you to that,” she said, as he drifted off to sleep once more. She leaned over until her lips brushed his ear. “I love you, Andrew Kennedy, and I will never let you go."
Twenty-one
The Aphrodite had been at sea twenty-two days when Drew was finally able to rise from bed. Ten days had passed since Henry had pulled the trigger of the flintlock, and their journey to America was drawing to a close.
That night, Heather stood at the stern of the Aphrodite, head tilted back, looking up at the glowing white face of the full moon above. Silver light danced over the water's surface, sparkling like faceted gems. It was a beautiful night, with a cool breeze blowing in and thousands of stars twinkling merrily at her from their bed of black velvet overhead.
Drew saw her standing there, and thought back to that wild dream he'd had. It seemed so real, he would swear that it had actually happened. But she gave no indication of feeling anything for him. At least she was no longer the meek miss she'd been. Since their argument over the subject, she no longer kowtowed to his every whim. They'd had several heated spats over his injury, with her being the winner and him remaining abed until Mr. Mason gave him the all clear.
He leaned against the railing of the quarterdeck, gazing down at her. The breeze stirred her hair, lifting it from her shoulders to tumble down her back. She is so beautiful, he thought with a soft sigh. And she is mine.
Abandoning his post on the quarterdeck, he crossed over to where she stood. He came up silently, causing her to jump as he rested his forearms on the railing beside her and said, “A penny for your thoughts."
She smiled at him. “I am just admiring how lovely the sky looks."
He glanced up. “Nothing quite like a full moon on a clear night when you are at sea."
She continued to gaze up at the sky. “It's as though God had taken the finest diamonds in existence and mounted them on the finest black velvet for all the world to enjoy."
"Very poetically put, my lady,” he nodded, turning about to face her. “Very poetic indeed."
"You don't agree?"
Her eyes lifted to his and he shook his head. “I did not say that. I've never really paid much attention, I suppose."
She lowered her chin, now looking out over the water. “We are almost there, aren't we?"
"We are."
She took a deep breath, wondering if she was going to regret her next question. “What happens then? When we reach America?"
He didn't answer right away, then glanced down at her. “What do you expect to happen?"
"If I expected anything, would I ask?"
"Things will still be as they were, my lady. That has not changed."
"Am I to be your mistress still, then?"
"Are you saying you've changed your mind?"
"I think it's a bit late for that, wouldn't you say? Now that we are here and all."
"Heather, what do you want me to say?” Drew sighed, combing his fingers through his hair.
"I don't wish for you to say anything but the truth, Drew. Am I to be hidden away, where you will make midnight calls for a secret rendezvous?"
"Have I ever said I was going to hide you away somewhere?"
"One doesn't normally squire his mistress about town, though. Even I am not naïve enough to think this will be any different."
"I don't truly know what will happen. I've become rather spoiled by the way things have been. But, you have to remember, I do not have my own house here, and I know there is almost no possibility of my family allowing you to stay with them."
Heat bloomed in her face. Shame like she hadn't felt since leaving Madam Allison's flooded her entire body and she almost wished the deck would open up and swallow her. Turning back, she resumed staring out over the water. “Of course not. No decent family would allow a whore to sleep beneath their roof.” Her voice was low.
"Now, I am not doing this again, Heather. This has nothing to do with where you were. As far as I am concerned, it's none of anyone's business where we met."
"But people will ask, Drew. People will wonder and they will talk and eventually, someone will find out. What happens then?"
"I don't give a damn what happens then. I've never worried about what someone might think.” He gave her a crooked smile. “I don't give a damn where we met, either. I am simply glad that we did. You've brought much needed change to my life."
"Have I, then?” she asked softly, turning sideways to face him.
He leaned back on one elbow. “You have, my lady. You have made my life so much brighter since walking into it."
She smiled then and he knew he'd never seen a more beautiful woman. He drew her into his arms, holding her tightly. “You have no idea."
"So tell me."
He chuckled, giving her a squeeze. “You have nothing to worry about, Miss Heather. When we reach Brunswick, we will take things as they come."
What did that mean? She wanted to ask him, but was also afraid of the answer. For now, she would simply have to be content with what she had, and she rested her head against his chest. “Take things as they come..."
He k
issed the top of her head, then rested his chin against it. He couldn't answer her questions, because he did not have the answers. He also wondered what would happen once they returned to Brunswick. He knew no one could ever learn where he'd met her. The ramifications would be brutal. Heather would be automatically shunned, an outcast, whether deserved or not. She would never be received in society and the gossip would be merciless. He absently stroked her hair. He would never bring that kind of pain down onto her. But he could not let her go, either.
She pulled away to say, “What is on your mind?"
He smiled. “We will figure something out when we get to Brunswick, Heather. I promise."
Her eyes widened as the sky lightened and the coastline came into view. Her first glimpse of America, and she was amazed at how much green she could see. The cliffs rose from the water like silvery-gray sentries guarding the shore. It was so different from London's harbor. It was almost like stepping into another world.
He kissed the top of her head. “If you will excuse me, love, it's time for me to return to my duties."
"Of course."
He left her then, to watch as land drew nearer, looming like a silent giant in the distance. Dawn was breaking over the horizon behind them, and she was glad she'd been awake to see it, glad that she'd been unable to sleep. It was this inability which brought her from the cabin. She wanted to see the sun rise, was eager to see her new home.
Seagulls shrieked overhead, and she could see other ships in the distance, entering and leaving the harbor. She couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation as they came closer. A new beginning awaited her. A fresh start for her life.
She glanced over her shoulder at Drew, who was deep in conversation with Bobby. She would now be able to see him on his territory and she had to admit she was quite curious about that. He'd been every inch the proper gentleman in London and the roguish sea captain on the water. Which mantel would he don now that they had reached America?
There was also a hint of sadness in her heart. She had become so accustomed to having him all to herself, but what would happen now that she had to share him? He owned half of a large shipping company, which must eat up a good portion of his time. He had a family whom, despite his fears about being disowned, would surely welcome him home and want to be with him. What would happen then? Would she only see him on rare occasions, and would that be enough for her?
Her eyes wandered to him once more, and she sighed softly as he crossed the deck to dash up the short flight of steps to the wheel. He had belonged to her for so long, would she actually be able to share him, or would she end up losing him? She had no idea what things he was responsible for here in America, what duties awaited his return.
Or what woman might await his return.
That thought did nothing to ease her worries, but she knew she did have to contend with all possibilities. He hadn't dropped from the clouds the day he met her, as he'd once pointed out. He'd never mentioned a lady who might be counting the days until his return, but that didn't mean one wasn't waiting, did it? Drew was handsome, he was charming, and he was wealthy. No doubt an enticing prospect for any young lady of marriageable age.
Heather didn't know how marriages were decided in this new land, but she knew he would be considered a most eligible bachelor in London. She had the feeling America would not be so stuffy as London was. Theirs was a completely different society. Americans held no titles, had rebelled against the very idea and broke away from a monarchy that believed very firmly in such things as title, blood, and lineage.
Of course, certain things never changed, such as acquiring wealth and property, so perhaps they approached the idea of marriage as a business arrangement of sorts. Or, perhaps they didn't, marrying solely for love. She supposed she would find out eventually.
The relentless questions made her head ache, but she refused to leave her post. Her eyes drank in all around her—the rich greens, sharp reds and blacks of the cliffs, the whites and grays of sails of other ships. There was all so much to see. She didn't want to miss a single sight.
* * * *
It was late afternoon as Drew guided the Aphrodite into the swirling gray-black waters of Raritan Bay. The docks loomed ahead, alive with activity and swarming with people. It was much smaller than London's harbor, but no less empty. There were very few vacant berths, with quite a few larger vessels anchored out on the bay itself, where men in long boats rowed their way to shore.
He bypassed a row of slips, and Heather could see large warehouses in the distance, just beyond a group of eight berths. Weathered gray from the elements, each building closely resembled the others, and most contained shipping companies. The end building bore a golden eagle painted on its side. Above it, in elegant gold lettering, she could see Eagleton Imports in an arc above the eagle.
Men swarmed all around her, preparing the lines to secure the ship to the pilings, readying the anchor to be dropped, and preparing the cargoes to be removed. She remained to one side, making certain to stay out of everyone's way.
The ship bumped against the dock with a dull thud. Several men hurled thick coils of heavy rope from the docks to the crewmen waiting on deck. She watched in amazement the precision with which these men worked. They moved in tandem, almost anticipating each other's actions.
Drew appeared then, sweeping his hair away from his forehead. “You might want to go below and gather your things together. I've sent Bobby to find us carriages to take us into town."
She smiled at him. “Aye, Captain."
He chuckled. “You are the only crewmember I've ever slept with,” he said softly, reaching out to cup his hand against her cheek, his thumb brushing over it tenderly. “Now, scat I've work to do."
She did as she was told, disappearing below deck to gather her clothing and toilette items, and stow them in her trunk. It took hardly any time, and when she was finished, she wasn't sure what to do with herself. She could hear all sorts of noises coming from above and below, as the crates were removed from the hold and brought off the Aphrodite. Above her, the crew was yelling and laughing with one another. She recognized quite a few of the voices, including Drew's, and couldn't help but feel a bit left out. The camaraderie amongst the crew of the Aphrodite ran deep and she knew it was a part of Drew's life she could never share.
She closed the trunk and sat atop it, lost in thought. What awaited her here, in this new and wonderful land? Would her future be brighter, or would she regret ever leaving London behind?
"Please,” she whispered, casting her eyes up to gaze at the exposed beams of the ceiling, “please let me find happiness here. I cannot go home again, so please let me find a new home, one with love and laughter and happiness. And please, somehow, let me find the courage to tell Drew the truth about how I feel about him."
Twenty-two
It was almost dusk when Bobby returned with the hired carriages. Drew had been gone most of the day, taking care of the cargo he'd brought back on the ship. While he was gone, Heather did one last sweep of the cabin, stripping the bed with a sigh. She was going to miss being on board the Aphrodite. It had become home to her.
She stood by the window, watching as the sun faded and twilight crept in. Her stomach fluttered when the door opened. She turned to see Drew standing in the doorway. He gave her a smile. “Ready to go, love?"
She nodded. “I am."
Stepping into the cabin, he moved to stand behind her, easing his arms about her waist. He held her close, kissing the top of her head. “I have to admit, this has been one of the most pleasant voyages I've ever had."
She leaned back into him, letting the warmth from his arms seep into her, murmuring, “That it has."
He gave her a gentle squeeze, then stepped back. “If you are ready then, it's time to go, love."
"I am ready.” She slipped her hand through his arm, gave one last look around, and let him escort her from the cabin.
As they stepped from the gangplank, Heather was agog at the activi
ty buzzing about her. These docks were not so different from those in London. They were, perhaps, a bit less depressing, as there didn't appear to be quite as many beggars and strumpets. There were some, of course, and Drew ignored them, just as he had in London. He kept firm grip on her wrist as he plowed through the throngs of people. He kept her close as they moved towards the waiting carriages, helping her into the second, climbing in to sit beside her. He thumped on the ceiling to alert the driver that they were ready to move. The carriage rocked along the rough road leading from the harbor towards the town of Brunswick.
Heather pushed aside the dark curtain to peer out the window as they rolled down River Road, Brunswick's main street. Shops lined either side of the street, teeming with life as people bustled about from place to place. One by one, lights began to flicker behind rippled panes of glass as evening rolled through town.
They were traveling west, away from the center of town and her eyes went wide as the houses grew larger, the land more open, and the trees thicker.
"Is this all Brunswick?” she asked, turning away from the window.
"It is.” He nodded, leaning over to peer over her shoulder. “It's quite a change from London, don't you think?"
She nodded, waiting for a pang of homesickness that, surprisingly, never came. “It certainly is. We had to travel quite a distance to find estates such as these."
"Oh, these aren't estates. If you look closely, you can see smaller houses, nestled back from the road."
She pressed her nose to the warm pane, peering through the thickening darkness, nodding as she saw the cozy little houses nestled amongst the thick trees. “Oh, yes. There they are."
He chuckled, sitting back and leaning his head against the seat. “A bit of country and a bit of city all rolled together."
She didn't respond, too absorbed in the views rolling by the window to really hear him. Children played in lush green fields catching fireflies, men sat on horseback, and women relaxed in gardens, sipping drinks. It reminded her so much of home that not only did she feel the pang, but a lump rose in her throat as well.