You can’t have what was never yours.
It was the one thing he’d done right. It gave him a little peace knowing that. That he’d cared enough to let her go. Didn’t much matter when he went after this, or where, as long as it was far from the temptation to look her up…unless…his gaze slanted back to the girl saddling her mount. Could rescuing a damsel in distress rescue him? His mind called him delusional, but his gut said…maybe…
Everly fussed around both horse and girl, giving the illusion of helping without doing it. “You’ll be back by sunrise,” he directed.
Had he processed the fact he planned to send his daughter off with a man he’d known for only three days?
“Of course, Pa.” Her voice was low, pitched to be plausible for a boy, a fact the vulnerable nape of her neck disputed. Strands of blond hair, lifted by the breeze, caressed skin turned to milk in the moonlight.
“I’ll look after the…boy.” Hard to get that word out when she slung a long leg over her horse, settled into the saddle with an instinctive, feminine wriggle.
She slanted a look at him that seemed to say she could take care of herself and he’d best not forget it. He almost smiled. Couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled, let alone almost smiled. She had guts, which brought him full circle to—she deserved better.
He might not be what most would term better, but looking around this place? He kicked his horse into a slow jog down the trail after hers. He was all there was.
They rode in silence, passing through deep shadow, before emerging into almost bright-as-day moonlight as the horses picked a path through a dry wash in the general direction of the moving lights. When they were distant enough from the camp that Everly couldn’t hear them, “Joe” kicked his horse to a jog that put him next to the girl. Felt her struggle against looking, waited until she gave in, before he spoke.
“You shouldn’t be out here.”
That lifted her chin and her brows. “And where should I be?”
She might have meant to sound defiant or even indifferent. She didn’t manage either. The tone did edge into provocative. Seemed to be some female left in there.
“Back East. Somewhere safer, for sure.” She opened her mouth to object, so he cut in, “You’re not a boy.”
She looked more resigned than surprised, though she shot back quick enough, “And you’re not a Joe.”
He grinned, surprising them both. “True enough. How did you—”
“You look nothing like a Joe.”
She tried to be irate but failed at that, too, when a grin twitched the edges of a mouth that looked like it needed kissing. As if she felt his interest in getting up close and personal with her mouth, the lower lip pouted an invitation that her brain might not recognize as one. Maybe he should pass on the ghost lights and where they might take him—but if they turned back now they wouldn’t be alone. Going forward seemed the better option for now and truth was, the chances of the ghost lights doing anything but taunting him with false hope were slim.
“What do I look like?” It was an opening she could use to slay him if she were inclined that way, but if she didn’t, maybe she’d come up with a name he could live with. He’d tried out a bunch of them since he left Smith behind with the broken remains of the crate he’d landed in. And Galfrioni? Well, it might have worked in another time, another galaxy, but here? It would just get him shot.
That brought her big-eyed gaze full bore his way. She took her time, studying him from top to bottom, seemed like she enjoyed the looking because she sure didn’t hurry either direction. Her head tilted the other direction and she did the top-to-toe examination again, maybe even slower than before. He liked that she didn’t hurry, found it an encouraging development. Another thing he could like about this time, or at least this place in this time, courting could happen as fast as it needed to. If she didn’t want him, he could find out and move on with only his pride dented a little this time. Her gaze found his and something stirred in the ashes of his heart. Yeah, he needed to move fast. Didn’t need to have it cracked twice, that was for sure.
“Chance. You look like a Chance.”
She hadn’t gone for the jugular, another encouraging development. The name fit better than his boots—or his grandiose Garradian moniker—and the words with the name were apt, too, though she didn’t know it yet. He was her chance and she, well, she might be his chance, too.
“Clever—” He stopped as he realized, “Your Pa never said your name.”
She might have hesitated, or just paused to give him a look.
“Analisse.” She hid shy in a very female sniff, her cute little nose lifting a bit, but not so much she lost sight of him. “I suppose you don’t use your real name because you’re wanted by the law.”
Didn’t sound like it bothered her. He grinned again. A new record. “Not by the law—” In this time, anyway. “Just…private.”
“Pa says the same thing—after he shares our life story with everyone who comes by.” Her tone hovered between rueful and annoyed.
“Analisse. I like it.” It suited who she should be.
“My Ma used to call me Ani.” She eased it out like it was information, not an offer, though she might be persuaded otherwise.
“Ani.” He’d never been one for a lot of persuading, continued before she could pretend to object, “If you could go anywhere you wanted, where would it be?” Maybe he assumed facts not in evidence. Maybe she liked the life, liked being a boy. He could adapt to a lot of things, but wasn’t sure about a traveling medicine show, though—she shifted giving him a glimpse of her shape as the round circle of the moon backlit her—there’d be compensations.
“Anywhere?” Her gaze turned dreamy in the moonlight. “I’d probably go home. Put on a dress, see if I could stand it.”
Her smile was unexpected, mischievous and loaded with charm. Animated her face from fine to beautiful. Had she been given the chance, she’d have had no trouble snaring a husband.
The wind went from merely persistent to a hearty gust. Delphine whinnied a bit and tried to turn off the trail toward what looked like a tumble of rocks.
Ani held her mount in, though she didn’t turn her back to the trail. “Probably a tinaja close by. We can water the horses there.”
It was a chance to talk, to find out what she wanted from life. He felt his horse shift under him, trying to turn, too. He let the animal have his head, pondered doing the same for himself. Do no harm. What if he could do some good for both of them?
Moonlight bathed the rocky enclosure, deepening the shadows, though the tinaja gleamed where it formed a rock pool. She started to dismount, not averse to taking a drink, too, but Chance was there next to her, his big hands circling her waist and lifting her clear of Delphine like she was a baby or something.
A brief sense of soaring through the cool air didn’t end when she landed at his feet. With the horse at her back, the big man fencing her in, she should have felt worried, scared even. They were so close she almost brushed against him when she breathed. Not that she could breathe. All of her felt caught, not just by the hands at her waist, but by emotion welling up from a place so deep inside, she hadn’t known it was there. Was this how her Ma felt about her Pa? This wild, reckless yearning that dried her throat and sent her heart a racing? She should have been terrified. An odd time to realize this was the safest she’d felt since Ma passed.
His hand, his big man hand, drifted up to brush against her cheek, his touch light—though the skin had been roughened by work—and mighty gentle. Was this what it meant, to take the rough with the smooth?
“Have you ever been kissed, Ani?”
She shook her head. No reason to lie. He had to know she hadn’t. His hand slid across her face, across skin that heated at the touch, and around the back of her head, pushing her cap off on the way, then it found purchase on the back of her neck, his fingers threading into her hair, turning her soft like mush. She’d have dropped at his feet, but the hand at h
er waist kept her up. Gentle pressure changed the angle of her head, perhaps as a prelude to a kiss, because a man didn’t ask unless he meant to do, did he?
She should stop him. She may not know much, but she knew that. Only…she was twenty-eight years old. A spinster who’d never been kissed. So she waited, hoping, still not breathing, as his mouth made a slow approach. Guess he wanted her to know she could stop him anytime she wanted. She wanted all right, she wanted for him not to stop, and she wanted something she didn’t know how to name, something that twisted her insides in a way that felt sort of good, sort of scary.
The first touch of his mouth against hers was gentle, like his hand had been. Felt like he tasted, maybe explored a bit, then firmed. Rough and smooth again. Felt the quiver of it in her stomach and right down to her toes. She sighed into it, into him, but didn’t know how to tell him she needed more—
His other arm slid all the way around her back, drawing her in against the hard wall of his man body, one so different from hers. She’d known men were different, but she hadn’t known how different until she relaxed against him. He didn’t push or force, just…invited her in. She accepted, pushing up on her toes, her hands inching around his back in tentative exploration. Muscles rippled under her hands, the skin warm through his shirt.
Something strange and scary and wonderful spiraled up and up inside her, like setting a horse free on a long stretch of desert. Faster and faster and then, slowly at first, he reined them in, though they were both still breathing faster when he lifted his head. She’d have died on the spot if he’d stepped back, but he didn’t. He held her like he knew she needed it.
A shudder lanced through him. Did she do that to him? She explored the line of a muscle on his back and he shuddered again. She smiled at the power of it. “Now I’ve been kissed.”
“You’re long overdue.”
She leaned back, glared at him. “Is that why you did it? Cause you felt sorry for me?”
“Sorry for you? Feel sorry for me. This is the second time I’ve had my brains scrambled by a woman.”
Ani felt a pang, one not as nice as the other feelings. “Who was she?” Did he love her? Did she care? Not clear. It was the coming in second that stung, though what did she expect? A declaration of marriage? She was a spinster in boy clothes. Helped some to know she’d scrambled his brains.
He eased away some more, rubbed his hand across his hair, looking almost flustered. She felt cold. Had she always been cold and not known it? She leaned against Delphine, feeling the need for something at her back.
“Someone from my past. My distant past.” He rubbed his face now. “Can’t believe I brought her up. Even I know that’s lame.”
Lame? Odd, but she got the meaning, felt her power—her female power—to her toes. Ma had told her women had it. She thought she didn’t get any. Didn’t mind being wrong. He looked almost vulnerable, or maybe just worried, when he shifted, spilling some moonlight across one side of his face. He seemed to gather himself in, maybe braced a bit. Did he think she’d make a scene because he kissed her?
“I should have waited, but you looked fine in the moonlight, Ani.” He half reached out to her, stopped. “Meant to wait and ask before I kissed you. If you said yes, I mean.” He stopped, rubbed his face again and looked at her, with lots of sober in it. “You deserve better than what your Pa’s given you. You deserve better than me, but I seem to be it. This place, you know people make up their minds fast, because there isn’t much time, and your choices are limited. You don’t have to decide now, but I’m declaring so you can think about it until we get to Marfa. Figure out what you want. Decide if you want different from what you have.”
Her first proposal. At least, “You’re offering to marry me?” He nodded. So it was her first. Probably her last. He was right, only offer she was likely to get out here or anywhere. She saw her Pa clear enough to know he was not going to do what was best for her, but she hadn’t had a choice. Until now. “I’m twenty-eight.” Her chin lifted. Not many men would take on a woman her age, lessen they had kids that needed a Ma.
He didn’t look away or flinch. Just nodded like it didn’t matter. “I’ll deal fairly with you, I give you my word.”
It was sudden, but she’d seen faster courtships wandering around the west, a few after several doses of Pa’s elixir. At least he wasn’t drunk. Out here, she’d had to learn to judge fast, and hopefully judge fair. See real, as her Ma had said. Hard to know if she saw him as he was, with her heart pounding, no way to know unless she took a chance. She could continue with her Pa, with how things were, continue going nowhere until Pa passed and she had nothing or she could take a chance. Almost like his name was the answer. Take a Chance.
“Your word’s fine.” She swallowed dry, wishing she’d had time to drink some water, too, so she’d sound less scared. “I’d be pleased to accept.” The moment the words were out, she wanted to call them back—and then he smiled, some tenderness in it, and she didn’t want to call them back. She wanted another kiss, though she held out her hand to shake on what felt like a bargain.
He took the hand, leaned close, his mouth briefly touching hers. Too briefly. Maybe she looked disappointed. “Better not kiss too much until we tie the knot. You’re a serious temptation, Ani. I’m grateful for your trust. Wouldn’t want to abuse it.”
A temptation? The words were fine, the way he said them better than fine.
“I’ll ask your Pa when we get back. Like to do it when we get to Marfa, if that’s acceptable.”
“No reason to wait.”
His eyes glittered out of the dark, and she knew, though she didn’t know how, that he wanted her. Not that she was clear on what that meant, without a Ma to explain things, but she felt it coming from him. Neither had had time to fall in love, and maybe they never would, but wanting was, she hoped, the prelude to being friends at least. She could use a friend, especially one who thought she deserved better.
Off to their right, the ghost lights flashed, or maybe it was a storm starting up in the distance. The ghost lights didn’t usually flash like that. The air crackled like a storm, but out here that didn’t always mean rain was coming. Sometimes the lightning came without the rain, as if taunting them with the promise of water it had no intention of delivering. If there was rain, could make the washes at risk of flash flooding. They should probably move out of this draw. Another surge of something, something new in the air made Chance stiffen like the horses when a coyote was near. Lightning flashed, close and bright enough to blind her for a few seconds and when she could see again, she saw something on the rise, something that hadn’t been there before, something that gleamed like metal and had two red circles where eyes might be.
“What’s that?” She shifted closer to Chance, as unease made a cold path down her back.
He turned—felt like he turned to stone next to her. “It’s an automaton.”
Chance stared at the automaton, as his focus shifted from romance to defense in the space between one breath and another. Not for the first time, he missed his ray-based weapon. It could be taken down with his Colt .45, if all six shots hit their mark—tough to do in this light—and that assumed it was alone. He’d have to let it get closer, though it was odd it hadn’t moved. Maybe it hadn’t seen them yet. Had to have been a reality shift. Not just the ’ton had changed. The moon was lower and the temperature was higher.
He needed to get Ani safe, but how? He couldn’t send her back to her Pa. He might not be where they left him, if he existed in this reality. He looked down toward the valley. The ghost lights had settled some, and twinkling in the distance were fixed lights that had to be Marfa. Once she got clear of the foothills, it was a straight, fairly easy ride across the desert. She could be there by morning.
He bent and grabbed her cap—she’d need it when the sun rose—pulled out a roll of money and shoved both into her hands.
“Chance—” She began, though she had sense enough to keep her voice down.
> Before she could finish, he lifted her onto Delphine’s back, handed her the reins. “That’s our stake, Ani. Keep it safe until I come. Ride for Marfa.”
“My Pa—”
“We’re not where we were. The lights, they did something to time. He could be anywhere. Ride for Marfa. Check into the Paisano Hotel.” If it existed in this reality. “I’ll follow you there when I’m sure its safe.” If I can.
Maybe she sensed the qualifier, maybe that’s what distracted her from the rest of what he’d said. When she had time to consider it, what would she make of it?
“I’ve been more boy than girl. I can help.”
The words warmed him. “This creature isn’t something you should mess with. Ride to safety. Do this for me, please.” He had to be honest. “If I don’t come in a couple of days use the money to go home. To live your life. Let your Pa live his. Just…live. Be happy.” He pulled her down, pressed a hard kiss on her mouth, then stepped back. He glanced back, but the ’ton hadn’t moved. He almost straddled his horse to go with her, but if it were after him, he’d suck her into his nightmare. He had to be sure this wasn’t about him. “Trust me.”
After a pause, she nodded, though with obvious reluctance. “Make sure you come. I’d like fine to be your wife, Chance.” She stuffed the money down her shirt, pulled on her cap, turned herself and her mount in the direction of Marfa, and kicked her horse away from the ’ton, toward the valley. Too soon the darkness swallowed the sight of her. He secured his horse, close to water and food, then turned back to the ’ton, from the temptation to ride after her. He would follow her when it was safe or die here. He was not going back into hell. It hadn’t moved, though the eyes still glowed red. The ghost lights were quiet, too. No way to know if the pulsing was regular or not, or what would happen to him, to Ani, if they pulsed again. He shifted sideways, moving at an angle from the ’ton, trying to feel a change coming or sense this reality going unstable, a skill he’d learned passing through a bunch of them, as he scrambled over the tumble of rocks around the tinaja. If the ’ton had motion sensing capability, it wasn’t working.
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