by Lauren Wood
“Yes, I really think you should marry her and worry about the rest of it later. Didn’t being with Katarina make you realize how badly you’d fucked up?”
Again, I was speaking from my own experience, but he seemed to have the same one as well.
“Yes, so fucking badly. As soon as I stuck my dick in, it felt wrong. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I was worried that I was going to miss out on something, but then I realized that if I messed it up with Anna, then I would be messing everything up. Losing her would be missing out.”
“Then go marry her and don’t screw it up.”
He agreed, and I helped him finish up. I could tell that he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. He was racked with guilt and I hoped that he could hold it together and shut up for a little while. Anna was going to have to forgive him, but not today when they are supposed to get married.
I fretted about it as we went to the front to wait for the bride to come out. The music was starting to play, and I had a lot on my mind as well. I could see Mariss next to the bride’s side and she smiled at me. I melted from it, but I didn’t respond because Marsha was in attendance as well. I’d made promises that I wasn’t able to keep, and I was trying not to make it too known what was going on. I didn’t want Mariss to become a target.
The ceremony started, and I thought everything was going well. Anna looked so beautiful and Jesse looked like he was having the time of his life. I was jealous of how deliriously happy he looked. The way he looked at Anna was the way that I looked at Mariss. I don’t know what it was, but it was the feeling and look of finally being alive. I could certainly relate.
Chapter 16
Mariss
The wedding was going perfectly, and I had tears in my eyes. I’d told myself that I wasn’t going to cry, but it was hard not to. It was hard to forget that I was no closer to being married than I was ten years ago, and I wanted what they had. Jesse looked at Anna as if she was the only woman in the world and Anna was just eating it all up.
The small church was packed with people and some had gone to standing room in the back. I don’t know where they all came from, I didn’t recognize a lot of them, but I didn’t expect to. I lived far away now, and our circle of friends was no longer the same.
A few faces stood out and one dark-haired woman in the back that snuck in when the ceremony was in full swing was giving Anna a look that I didn’t like to see. She looked at her as if she hated her and I was soon to find out, like everyone else in the church that she did. She was here to ruin Anna’s day at least, maybe her life. It wasn’t going to be good for Anna and I wanted to stop it, but I was unable to. It had to watch it play out as everyone looked on. It was hard to do. I had the bad feeling, but I had no idea what was going to happen.
The part about speaking up if there was a reason that shouldn’t wed came up and it was then that the woman made her presence known.
“He shouldn’t be marrying her. He loves me. He told me so last night. Jesse was at my place, all night long.”
There was a collective gasp in the air and everyone was looking at everyone else because no one really knew where they were supposed to be looking. It was all a mystery.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I looked to Anna and she was devastated. I was frozen for a minute and I didn’t know what to do. I looked to Jesse, sure that this was all just a hoax or some ex that wanted revenge. But when I looked at his face, I could see guilt there and recognition. He almost seemed to be relieved that it was out in the open.
Not knowing what to do, I looked to Cal for a moment and it occurred to me then that he’d known about it. He looked just as culpable as his friend was and I wasn’t sure how to feel about the change in events. It was clear that this wedding wasn’t going to go on.
The dark-haired woman started to walk towards the front and I moved towards her. “You’ve done enough. Get out of here.”
I wanted to hit the woman, I really did, but I didn’t want to make even more of a scene. Waiting until the woman was completely gone, I looked back at Anna and my heart was breaking for her. She looked defeated and it was her wedding day. That was not the feeling that someone was going for on this most special day.
Everyone at the wedding was shocked and no one really moved. They were waiting to see if it was poor taste joke. I asked Anna what she wanted to do, and I could tell that she was about as clueless as I was in the situation.
She looked to the man she was moments from marrying and she asked just one question. It was the one question that everyone in the room wanted to hear about and everyone sort of leaned in so that they could hear what going on was. It was juicy, whether it was painful for those involved or not, everyone else was watching it go down like it was a soap opera.
“Is what the woman said true? Were you with her last night Jesse?”
I could see that he’d looked to Cal and Cal made a slight nod. He was telling him not to say anything and for some reason, I got a sinking feeling that he’d known what his friend was doing the whole time. Made sense considering what he was willing to do with me while he was engaged.
Now I felt like Anna, wondering how I could have been so wrong. I’d thought that Cal had changed, that he was a good man now, but it was just the outside that had changed. The inside was just the same and if he thought it was okay for his friend to do such a thing, what was to say that he wouldn’t feel like it was okay for him to do the same thing as well?
I stopped myself because it made me realize he already had. Here I was talking about what he might do and be like and it dawned on me for real that it was what he was doing with her. It was that simple and though we’d had a history, it wasn’t that strong. He’d pursued me, even though he was engaged as well. I wasn’t stupid enough to think that I was somehow special, and I was going to get away with it scot free. I had a feeling that I was going to pay for it.
My mind snapped back out of my own misery to witness the misery that was going on with my friend. I felt so bad for her and I held my breath like everyone did while they were waiting for Jesse to answer. I really wanted him to have the best answer. I wanted him to say that it was all a lie and a big misunderstanding, but I had a feeling that it was going to be something else entirely.
“I’m sorry Anna. This was never supposed to happen. I wanted to tell you, to come clean but I didn’t want you to leave me.”
“Who is she?”
“Someone from my past. She means nothing to me. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was being stupid Anna. Please forgive me.”
I felt bad for the guy because the way that Jesse felt about Anna was not something that could be faked. He loved her, it was that simple, but I knew Anna and I knew that she was not the forgiving type. I had to guess that this was over before it even got started. I wanted the two of them together, it made sense, but Anna wasn’t going for it.
She erupted from where she stood, and the short woman hit him in the face. Everyone there heard the sound echo off the walls and I have to say that I felt it from where I was standing by her, even though I was quite some ways away. It hurt Jesse. I know it did.
“I’ll never forgive you for this Jesse. You ruined what was supposed to be the best day of my life. I’m glad I know now instead of finding out after we got married.”
I was proud of her for not losing her shit too bad. Anna’s head was high when she turned around and walked back down the aisle the way she’d came. Every little detail had been lovingly planned, down to the soft veil that she wore on her head. Anna grabbed the lace and threw it on the ground on her way out.
Throwing a dirty look at Cal and his friend, I followed her out, knowing that she was going to need me. I knew that her mind was a wreck and it wouldn’t take much to prove that.
“I’m so sorry Anna.”
“Did you know?”
“Hell no. I wouldt have told you.”
Anna smiled and told me I was a good friend. My mind was on what all of this
meant.
Chapter 17
Cal
That imploded much like I knew it would. It wasn’t hard to see that this wasn’t going to be fixed today. Jesse started to go after her and I told him to hang back. She needed to figure out her feelings and her temper was unmatched. The last thing he needed to do was jump into all of that. He wouldn’t’ make it out alive.
“Just let her calm down.”
We were back in the room from before that he had gotten dressed in. He was shaking, and I was trying to talk him down from the proverbial ledge that was going to see him doing some stupid shit that got him in trouble.
“She’s not going to calm down. Did you see the look on her face? I should have told her.”
“If you would have, it would have been the same outcome. You know, that right?”
I wasn’t sure if it would have been so public for them both, but it was bound to come out. It seemed like Jesse had forgotten how Katarina was. She wanted to have Jesse all to herself and there was no way that she was going to just let him get married. It wasn’t going to happen. Out of all the people he could have picked, why did he go with his ex?
“Yeah, I guess, but that was a shit show out there and she’s never going to forgive me for that. She was just embarrassed in front of all her family. You know how Anna is. She’s never going to let that go.”
I did know that Anna was very worried about what other people thought. That’s why she’d been dressing Jesse for a while. I thought it was kind of funny at first, but then he started to dress like a prep from school that we used to beat up. Now all of it was for nothing and I had to reflect on how one decision could change the course of everything so quickly. I felt bad for him, but I really didn’t know what I was supposed to say. He was right, it was over, but as his friend I didn’t want to tell him that it was so.
“It’s not as bad as you are making it in your head, I promise.”
“Do you really think that she will forgive me?”
I didn’t, not really, but that really depended on how much she loved him. I’ve seen people get together that shouldn’t be together and sometimes even when everything seems like it’s over, it can start again. I was thinking of Mariss and where we were. I wanted to have the same hope for Jesse. I wanted him to be happy again.
“Let’s get out of here and get a drink Jesse. There’s really nothing else that we can do here, not really.”
Jesse nodded, but I could see that he looked like he had been hit by a truck. He didn’t look right and the more that I noticed it, the more I knew I was going to have to keep a tight rein on him today. I didn’t want him doing something stupid and I know that he had stupid things on his mind. There was no telling what he was thinking.
He followed me out and we went out the back so that we wouldn’t have to walk through the church. It did us no good because most of the wedding party was outside, gossiping about what they’d just saw. They spotted Jesse and I had to tell them to back off. I don’t know what they planned to do, but they were acting like an angry mob. Everyone loved Anna and Jesse was going to hear about this for a very long time to come.
We got into my truck and he blew out a breath. “Man, this is some crazy shit.”
I agreed, but I didn’t want to tell him that this was shit that he had brought on himself. No one wanted to hear that, especially when it was true. I didn’t know how it was going to turn out, but I knew that one sure-fire way to get his mind off everything was to get him drunk. It wasn’t the best plan, I know that, but it was the only one that I had. Anything else just didn’t seem right.
There was one bar that I knew was the best guess. It knew us, and it wasn’t a place that was going to call the cops or cut Jesse off when he’d had too much. He needed to have a bit too much and, in the morning, while his head was throbbing off his shoulders, he would wise up. That’s how I got over Mariss or moved on and it was the only thing I knew to do. I just didn’t know if it was going to work or not, but I was willing to give it a try.
We pulled up at Scully’s and I waited for him to get it together enough to get out. He looked like a dead man walking and his eyes were hollow. This man needed some booze, badly. I think we both did.
Chapter 18
Mariss
She was a mess and I didn’t know how I was going to comfort her. I didn’t know the story, but the story didn’t matter. It really mattered what she thought about it because I was going to agree with her, right or wrong.
“What do you want to do Anna? Let’s get out of here and do something. We can’t just sit in here and commiserate.”
“I want to get this dress off. I want to leave too, but I literally don’t know how I can do that with this dress on. It’s huge and it weighs like twenty-five pounds at least. I just had to have all of this beading.”
I got up to help her get it off because I had to help her get it on. It had over fifty tiny little pearl buttons that had to be fastened and unfastened. She took care of it herself by just ripping one of the arms off. I wanted to stop her and remind her how much money that dress was and how much she loved it, but it was clear that this was part of her process.
Anna ripped the other arm off and then the lace neckline that had taken silk that was shipped in from far away to complete. I was seeing dollar signs coming off her, but I didn’t say anything. I just moved the pieces away so that she didn’t trip on them.
When it was all said and done, Anna was huffing and puffing, her porcelain skin was red and blotchy. She was wearing just her bra and panties and staring at me. I didn’t know what to say, but when I finally did it made her smile.
“Feel better?”
“Yeah, but you know what I just realized?”
“What?”
“I don’t have any clothes. I really didn’t think I was going to be doing this.”
“I’ve got something in the car. I’ll go get it.”
She smiled at me and I moved out of the church. I was hearing the gossips that stopped only long enough to ask if Anna was okay. They were concerned, but really, they wanted to pump me full of information. They wanted to know the latest gossip so that they could have something to share with the next person. I didn’t want to fuel that, so I got my bag from the car and went back in. I had a couple more outfits because I was going to be here a couple more days and I kept it in my trunk, so I wasn’t leaving stuff everywhere. Now I’m glad I had it because Anna was in tatters inside. The dress was gone, but I didn’t doubt for a second that she would have walked out as she was. I knew Anna and I knew that she would, daring anyone to say a word.
Not wanting that to happen, I got back upstairs and gave her the bag to rummage through. “I’m glad we’re the same size Mariss.”
I just smiled at her and waited for her to get dressed. I made a mental note to come back in a bit and clean up the mess, but they had it for the day. Right now, I was going to have to let the OCD just linger and not clean it up immediately.
“So where do you want to go Mariss. We have the whole day ahead of us.”
I knew that keeping her busy was key.
“I don’t know. I kind of want to just get in the car and drive. Remember those roundtrips that we used to take?”
“Yes, a lot of them were with Eve.”
“We should totally go pick her up and go somewhere.”
I still had time off, but I didn’t know how busy Eve was. I had a feeling that she would drop everything and come. I could have given her a heads up, but I didn’t. I agreed to the crazy idea and we started towards the car. Anna smiled at a few people and ignored the rest. The gossipers weren’t going to get anything else from us.
“Do you think we should go to the reception?”
“Hell no. There’s food and booze. They’ll be okay.”
Anna wanted to argue, but she didn’t want to face them. I gave her the excuse that she needed to not have to do it. I was thankful for that because I don’t think that it was going to end well.
&nb
sp; I didn’t know where we were going, but at least we were in motion. It had to be better than standing still.
***
“Okay, but just for a couple of days. Where are we going?”
I smiled at Eve and thanked her for agreeing. Eve was packing her bags and I still didn’t have an answer for her. This crazy train was being steered by Anna and I don’t even think that she knew where she was going.
“Where are we going Anna?”
“I want to go to the beach.”
We were a few hundred miles from the east coastline, so that worked. At least we had a destination now, no matter how ambiguous it may be. It was at least a direction, something.
Eve gave me a look and I just shrugged and smiled at her. What else did she expect? This is how Anna used to be. She wasn’t the grownup that I’d came to know via text and email. This was the girl I remembered, and Anna was always a little reckless.
We all piled up into my car and took off east. It wasn’t going to be long until we were there, maybe half a day, but since it was late we wouldn’t get there until it was dark. I hoped that some time away with just the girls was just the thing that we needed. I know that I needed a little time with them two as well. I missed them, and it was good to get us all together again, even if it is for this kind of circumstance.
Chapter 19
Cal
The one-night bender turned into a week-long extravaganza and I couldn’t keep up. I didn’t have the hate-filled thoughts to keep me going and I was starting to think that Jesse might legitimately drink himself to death. It certainly looked like he was doing his best to try, and it was all getting out of hand.
I woke up with a headache that I now knew so well I called her Molly and I went to the bathroom. We were in a motel, though I can’t really say where except that it was on the southside of town. It wasn’t the good side of town and when I came back into the room, I saw a couple of naked women lying around. We’d picked up a couple of other guys as well that were laying with some of the chicks. What the hell happened in here?