by Audrina Lane
Lying on her bed Charlotte responded to the message and then settled down to an afternoon of more from her Mum’s diary, as now even more so she needed to know what older guys did differently so that she could learn to read between the lines of her messages from Mitch.
Saturday 2nd April, 1988
Creeping up to my room at around midnight I was rewarded when James pulled the duvet aside and I squeezed into my single bed next to him. Once I had set my alarm for six in the morning James pulled me close as we shared some extremely long and devouring kisses before he pulled my nightshirt away from my body. I let his hands wander down to gently bush over my already erect nipples. Then we moved so that I lay beneath him as he ran a trail of kisses down my neck, and lower. Glancing up at me in the semi darkness I nodded my consent for him to continue as I stretched out under his expert touch. As his lips moved carefully over my breasts, I ran my fingers through his short hair and held him there so that he would continue with his kisses. His tongue licked over them as my body melted into hot, burning liquid, I was on fire beneath his touch.
James headed lower to my belly button and I tried to stifle my laughter as it tickled too much. When his lips returned to mine I felt his weight crushing me into the mattress, I didn’t mind this as I always seemed to find it hard to breathe easily, even when we were not touching. Then we curled up very tightly together.
“Sorry I laughed when you kissed my belly button” I whispered
“At least I know where it is now, in case of emergency” James whispered back.
“What emergencies”
“The tickling kind” he said as he pulled me into his arms.
His breathing slowed and I enjoyed the feel of his taunt muscles around me, I didn’t want to sleep and loose the opportunity to drink in everything I was feeling at this very moment. Before drifting off I vowed that tomorrow night it would be my turn to explore.
When the alarm sounded at six, I kissed James gently goodbye and left the room
“I’ll give you a shout when I wake up” I said
“I’d prefer a wake up kiss” James replied, as he watched me creep out of the room. In the spare room sleep eluded me so I ran my hands over my body trying to recreate the feel of his touch. I knew how responsive my nipples were under his fingertips and tongue. I could only guess how good it would be when I let him explore further.
I must have slept for the sound of voices downstairs woke me up. I quickly got dressed in my leggings and long jumper and headed down too. James smiled as I entered the room and I sat down next to him as he continued to talk to my Dad about the training involved in becoming a fire man.
“Morning Mum, Dad, James” I said, as Mum passed me a mug of coffee.
After breakfast we headed over to see Chris.
Arriving at the pool I saw Sarah waiting for us.
“Hi Sarah” I said, as I linked my arm through hers and we headed into the changing room.
“So what’s the gossip” she said.
“Your Valentine card is still on the mantelpiece at Chris’ flat” I said, as we started to get changed.
“Really, don’t tell me surrounded by lots of other cards” she replied.
“No it’s the only one. James told me that Chris told him that he likes you” I finished. I straightened my pony tail and waited for Sarah to emerge from her cubicle.
“Come on then let’s go and have some fun” I said, as we walked out onto the poolside and spotted the guys already in the water at the deep end.
James and I spent our time in the pool larking around and trying to get Sarah and Chris to talk by leaving them alone and swimming in other areas of the pool. It did seem to be working and as we headed to the burger restaurant later I watched them taking secret glances at each other, perhaps the cinema would help too.
Beetle juice was a fantastic film, I loved every minute of it as we shared popcorn and a drink and it was a shame when the lights came on and we reluctantly left the cinema. As we drove home I spotted that Sarah was holding hands with Chris the same as I was with James, this was a definite result and I couldn’t wait to talk to her after the weekend. Once we were back at home we headed straight upstairs to my bedroom and put some music on.
“So how do you think that went” I asked.
“I think it went very well, just call me cupid” James laughed, as he stretched out on the bed and I followed suit.
“So how was your interview” I asked
“Good I think; I’m just waiting for a letter to confirm the next stage” he said, casually stroking my arm.
“Radio DJ is that even a proper job” James continued, smiling at me.
“A very important job, entertaining people” I retorted “I’m hoping to get some practice in by applying for some work experience at Hereford Hospital”
What I really wished I could say was that I just wanted to be with him forever and that I loved him so much it hurt when we were apart. In the pause I crawled onto his lap and started to kiss him as my hands entwined in his hair and he lay back so that I was on top of him.
Sitting astride I was filled with desire and longing so strong that I was brave enough to run my hands down and then un button his shirt so that I could feel skin on skin running my hands over his smooth chest.
“Do you like having your nipples kissed?” I asked,
“I don’t know, no one has ever tried it before” he replied “so you will be the first” With a smile I dipped my head and cautiously at first kissed his nipple and then the other before I looked up.
“Feels great” he breathed as he reached up and pulled my jumper over my head and his eyes drank in my body and his hands reached around to try and find the catch on my bra. He looked at me puzzled as the strap was smooth, and I giggled and reached up to release the front catch and as it slipped from my shoulders his hands explored.
He worked his belt buckle free and then I helped pull his jeans down, trying not to notice the bulge in his boxer shorts that literally terrified me. As he did this I wiggled out of my leggings and then I laughed out loud
“What’s so funny” James said
“Us in just our underwear and socks” I giggled.
Quickly we took off our socks and ducked under the duvet together as our hands and tongues took turns to explore, avoiding all tickly areas. I heard my parents head up to bed as we paused but then instead of heading down to the spare room I stayed with James. Luckily my alarm was still set for six as I struggled to leave James and head for the spare bed.
Sunday 3rd April, 1988
I was awake before James this morning and we spent the morning lazing around. My grandparents were coming over for dinner that night and James had been drafted in as a substitute for the local six aside football tournament with Chris so I wrapped up and went with him to watch. It was quite a game and I enjoyed gazing at James in his shorts and t-shirt. The home team won and afterwards we headed to the local pub for a drink. As I was still underage I settled for a glass of coke and enjoyed my first ever visit to a pub. Some of the other guys in the team had girlfriends the same age as them, I noticed them looking at me and wondering why James was with me. James noticed I was feeling uncomfortable under their gaze and put his arm protectively around my shoulders.
We shared a portion of chips while we were there before we headed back to mine. After a shower we sat and chatted to my parents and my Nan and Granddad. I think James was a little nervous at meeting them but he soon settled into the conversation over the dinner table and answered all their questions and complimented my Nan on her hairstyle. I thought I saw her blush but she gave me a smile and I could tell that she definitely approved of my choice in men.
Then we excused ourselves and headed to my room to listen to some music and do some more exploring. I was officially addicted to the feelings that were coursing through my body every time we touched. Tonight James started at my feet and after removing my shoes he reached up and pulled off my jeans and socks, careful not to tic
kle my feet he ran his hands up my long legs. His fingers carefully touched the lace of my knickers but as I stiffened he continued upwards and I was able to breathe again. As his fingers took in the familiar warmth of my breasts and the tight bud of my nipples as his lips followed his hands, whilst mine entangled in his blond hair. He pulled back to look at me once more as he peeled off his clothes and my hands felt the solidness of his muscles beneath his smooth skin.
Once we were under the duvet he reached for my hand in his and then slowly took it down over his chest to the point where the waist band of his boxer shorts lay. All the while his eyes held my gaze and his lips touched mine with such longing and need that my whole being melted away.
“Will you?” he asked me, as he pushed his hands down further to remove his boxer’s. Oh my god, I was about to touch him, all of him, was I brave enough?
Cautiously I stroked my finger down through his curly hair to a point and then I hesitated.
“What do I do?” I mumbled, suddenly embarrassed by my lack of experience. “Do whatever feels right” he breathed as his lips captured mine once more.
Ever so gently I touched the whole shaft, which seemed to make it spring up even harder and larger. I stroked up and down with my fingers, taking in the feel of it, all I could think was how huge it was, it was never going to fit inside me. I felt the immense power that my touch seemed to have upon James as his breathing increased and his kisses became longer and deeper. I withdrew my fingers and paused for breath. Was he disappointed that I had stopped? I couldn’t tell as I pushed my body tightly into his embrace.
“Not bad for a first go” he smiled at me; it was almost like he could tell what I was thinking and how nervous I was feeling. His arms wrapped tightly around me as we drifted off to sleep. I felt even more aware of his whole body pushed up against my back, separated by only my thin piece of fabric.
Charlotte breathed out, only just aware that she had been holding her breath as she had read the last entry. Her Mum had been scared, just like she had when she had touched Craig for the first time. He had been pushing her hard at that point and she remembered how she had pushed him away from her body and he had turned away in anger that she had not been ready for anything further. What a difference having an older guy obviously meant. Charlotte assumed that her Mum had not been James’ first sexual encounter and guessed that perhaps once a guy had done it a few times that they didn’t mind taking things slowly. Or perhaps James was just a rare gentleman and her Mum had been extremely lucky to have found a guy who was happy to take things at her pace and not his own. She headed back to the diary, keen to see what would happen next.
Monday 4th April, 1998.
The alarm didn’t get need to sound this morning as I was already awake and just happy to drink in the sight of James lying next to me. He stirred slightly as I trailed my fingers over his cheek and lent down to kiss him, before I reluctantly headed back to the spare room. Without his arms around me the spare bed felt cold and empty, pretty much like my life when we were apart.
Over breakfast we tried to decide what to spend our last few hours together doing. As it was a nice bright spring day we decided to go for a walk along by the river. Holding hands with James as we wandered along, talking about general things like my impending exams and his interview and avoiding the inevitable parting that loomed like a black cloud above us.
Sitting on a bench we watched the swans sail by before James turned to me
“I hate having to leave you all the time. I wish I still lived here”
“I do too” I agreed “Then we could see each other every day”
“Yeah, that would be great” he replied as his finger traced a heart onto the palm of my hand
“I think I’m falling in love with you” he whispered as his arms wrapped themselves around me. Had I heard him right, I had stopped breathing and my heart was pumping so fast that it was all I could hear in my ears.
“Me too” was all I could respond with before my lips touched his in a long and lingering kiss.
“Do you have a pen in your bag?” James asked me, as our lips parted. I looked through and found a black marker and handed it to him.
“What do you want that for?” I asked, as he removed the lid and we looked at the back of the wooden bench where other’s before us had left their mark. There was a blank space in the corner so James drew a heart and put our initials inside it JC 4 SM. He handed me back the pen and then we kissed for a final time before we wandered back to my place. He had to be home for his shift at the pool so once he had packed his bag, in between long bouts of kissing, I found myself standing in the driveway. Alone and forlorn I watched as my heart was ripped from my body to follow him as he drove home.
I wandered back down to the river and sat again on the bench we had shared only a few hours earlier, it still felt warm, but probably from the sun shining down. In my heart it was raining as I leaned back and remembered his words. He was falling in love with me. I had fallen for him much longer ago, in fact from the first moment he had spoken to me at the pool back in January. After a final look at the heart, now dry and sealed onto the history of the bench, our bench. Hurrying back home I knew I had time to write him a letter and get it in the post box for the early morning collection at six tomorrow.
“Dear James,
I am already missing you loads since you left about an hour ago, so I’ve decided to write to you straight away. This weekend has been amazing as is usual when we are together. After you drove off I walked back to our bench and sat there for a while and thought about what you said to me. I think I started to fall in love with you the first time that you spoke to me at the Swimming Pool; I could hardly believe that you had even noticed me!!
This weekend has been full of firsts for me, I’m sorry if I’m not going fast enough for you? I hope you are ok waiting for me to catch up with you (I’m learning all the time but then you are a good teacher). Don’t forget you are my first ever boyfriend, I’m sure you have had a few girlfriends (don’t tell me about them otherwise I will get jealous)!!
Anyway, I can’t wait to see you again soon as I am addicted to your kisses.
Already in love with you
Stephanie x”
Later in bed I inhaled the faint scent of him that lingered on my pillow and hoped that it would not be too long before we saw each other again.
As Charlotte was about to turn the page her phone beeped to let her know she had a message so she happily lay back and enjoyed some quality phone time with her best mate Julia.
Chapter 15
Walking past the door of the bedroom on Sunday I listened to the music Charlie was playing. I had to admit that a lot of the music in the charts left me cold these days. It was a good job that the radio station where I worked specialised in the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and 90’s music so I didn’t have to play the chart stuff. Charlotte was forever teasing me when I professed to not knowing who certain rap artists were. I paused as Adele’s Skyfall came on. I had been listening to this almost non stop since she returned from the dance competition as it was the music for their new dance that they were practising for the Midlands final. If they were lucky to be the top two chosen acts then the grand final was a weekend affair in London and I had to admit to looking forward to a weekend away in the capital later in the year.
“Charlie, are you hungry yet?” I called through the door, as I slowly turned the knob and pulled it open. I watched silently as the last few cords faded out and my daughter sank down on the floor in the perfect splits.
“Does it look ok?” she asked, through her gasps.
“Well from the last few moments that I saw it looks fabulous…you’ll be on Strictly Come Dancing before long” I teased.
“Mum, that’s totally different dancing to this” she responded as I threw her the towel that was draped over the end of her bed.
As she rubbed the sweat away from her face and tucked the few tendrils of hair back over her ear, I spotted my diary s
till on the bedside cabinet. I had to admit that she looked even more like me now that she had coloured her hair red, it definitely suited her. She had inherited her pale, freckled skin from me, but as she looked up I saw the eyes of my late husband staring back startling green and clear.
“Come down when you are ready” I finished, as I backed out of the room “and we’ll see what’s in the cupboard”
“Sure” she replied as I spotted her reach for her phone and a smile spread over her face.
“Julia?” I asked
“No Mum, a guy I met at the dance competition….don’t worry we are just texting and friends on Face Book” she responded, as I watched a slight blush spread up her neck. I nodded and turned to head back downstairs. I had learned when to push and when to just wait for her to tell me and this was definitely a waiting moment. At least she was no longer upset about Craig, I had found him a little too forthright for my liking when he had been at the house. I hoped again that my diary was teaching her that to wait for the right guy and the right moment was what really mattered.
The next morning Charlotte raced out of the house to meet Julia for the walk to school. As I was not due to be at work until lunchtime, I found myself sneaking into Charlie’s room so that I could reclaim my diaries for another trip down memory lane.