He was wrong, she thought. The loss of his mother had marked him for good.
Just then laughter erupted in the living room.
He glanced back, and his frame relaxed. "You've brought this house back to life. Dad and I just rattle around here."
"I like feeding people."
"You couldn't be more like Ruby if she'd raised you."
"Thank you. That's a real compliment."
"You don't have to go, you know." Damn it, why had he said that? She was tensing before his eyes.
She turned away. "It's just about ready. Want to help me put out the food?"
"Scarlett…" He stopped her. Turned her toward him. "Some day you're going to explain to me what's troubling you. How can I fix it if I don't know what's wrong?"
"Oh, Ian…" She traced her fingertips over his jaw. "You don't have to fix everything." Her gaze slid away. "And sometimes things are beyond repair."
"You can still talk to me. Tell me what's bothering you."
"How about you start by telling me how losing your mom really makes you feel?"
"I already told you. I don't feel anything."
"Yeah. Sure thing." Her disappointment was clear. Damn it, he didn't want to talk about his mother. Ever.
Then she drew a deep breath and turned to her work. "I still can't believe you brought me fresh churned butter. I'm more excited by that than anything else, I do believe—though the organic beef is a close second."
All he'd done was go to the woman down the road who churned butter in exchange for milk from his Jersey. "You'd think I'd given you diamonds."
"Oh, no. I don't care a whit about diamonds, but fresh cream and butter…" She rose to her toes and gave him a quick kiss. "Now that's a present." She danced away to stir her fancy French dish.
His hands itched to draw her back.
* * *
"Little girl," Gordon said, patting his belly, "I am stuffed tighter than a tick. I do believe that was the best meal this ole boy has ever eaten."
"Here's to Paris, France," said Henry, raising his glass of fresh milk.
Fresh milk, straight from the cow. She still couldn't get over the bounty they took for granted.
"Hear, hear," chimed in Arnie.
"Sweetheart, you have left me in the dust," Ruby declared. "But you have got to show me how you did that. I would have been glad to help."
"No way," Scarlett said. "How many times has anyone cooked for you in your life? Not enough, I would imagine. I was happy to do so."
Ian said nothing, but his gaze was fixed on her, his expression one she couldn't read.
"What was that dessert?" Brenda asked.
Scarlett was grateful for the rescue from the dark gaze that drew her again and again. "It's a cousin of what's called a trifle, a very old dish, eighteenth century British. When I learned I could have fresh cream to work with, I just made a quick sponge cake for the base. Nana had peaches in the freezer and Gordon generously donated some brandy. I whipped up what's called a syllabub with the cream, some sugar and a few spices…simple."
"Not simple to produce heaven on a spoon in an unfamiliar kitchen," her grandmother argued. "You have the touch, Scarlett."
"Magic in the kitchen," Ian murmured from beside her.
She cast him a quick glance steeped in memory and smiled. "Thank you." Then she looked at Gordon and her grandmother. "Speaking of unfamiliar kitchens, do either of you know how to use a wood cook stove?"
"That old thing is probably rusted inside," Gordon said.
"I remember some," Ruby offered. "My grandmother cooked on one. Your mom did, too, right, Gordon? Why do you ask?"
"I am dying to try it. Ian said I could, but neither of us has ever used one. I'm thinking it might be comparable to a brick oven for bread, but I'm curious to see what I could do with it."
Abruptly she subsided. She couldn't be here long enough to make use of it. What was she thinking? "Never mind." She rose. "Time to clean up and head for bed."
"You are not cleaning that kitchen. You've already worked far too hard on your only day off. Sit." Ian picked up her plate and his. "I've got this."
"But—"
"We can all pitch in," said her grandmother. "You go put your feet up."
"Nana…"
But none of them would hear a word otherwise. "Go with her, Dad," Ian suggested. "Keep her out of the kitchen."
She was summarily shuffled off to the living room with Gordon, but soon Ruby and Arnie followed.
"We've been ejected," Arnie said. "Anyway, your grandma should get home to bed. We can take you with us."
She cast a glance toward the kitchen, where Ian and Henry and Brenda were working and talking, laughing now and again.
She wanted to linger, to ride home with Ian.
Which was exactly why she shouldn't.
Don't break his heart.
What about her own?
"How will Brenda and Henry get back?"
"Ian can take them. " His dad studied her. "But you are welcome to wait here and go with him, too."
If Henry and Brenda were with them, they would provide a barrier to any meaningful conversation. Or any other activities.
Which was probably just as well.
"I'd appreciate the ride," she told Arnie. She turned to Ian's dad. "Will you tell Ian goodbye for me?"
His dad looked at her knowingly. "If you're sure that's what you want."
She had no idea what she wanted, except too much she couldn't have. "Thank you."
As they made their way to the door, she saw Ian glance her way. She tried for a jaunty wave even as her heart squeezed.
No. She couldn't do this. If nothing else, it was rude. "Excuse me." She made her way to the kitchen, seeing nothing but his dark eyes. "My grandmother needs to go home. I'd still be glad to stay and help clean up."
He didn't say a word as Henry and Brenda faithfully repeated their insistence that she take it easy. He remained across the room, and she felt an aching sense of loss. One more embrace, even a slight hug…
"Thank you, Ian. Thank you for…everything." She bit the inside of her cheek to stem the ache of unshed tears. "I'll…see you at the cafe, I guess."
He only stared impassively. "Sure." He turned away.
They needed distance, she reminded herself. He wasn't sharing his feelings with her, either. This was how it had to be.
How can I fix it if you won't tell me? He already took on too many burdens, and hers seemed unfixable.
She turned to go before she broke down. At the door, she gave his dad a wordless hug.
"You take care now, little girl," Gordon said.
She held onto him for a little longer, his frame an older version of his son's powerful one.
She would never see Ian as an old man, she realized. Grief pierced her to the bone.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
And she fled.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Monday started out busier than ever. Scarlett knew she'd have to stay late that night to begin preparing foods to take to the workday, since the activity was nonstop during the hours the cafe was open.
But that was okay. She would have time alone, which she desperately needed. She had a lot to think about after she'd taken a quick break and called the DA when his office opened.
He'd been icy at first, then he'd threatened and blustered about how she needed to get back in her car and return immediately.
She'd told him about Kostov's men but refused to say where she was.
"I can have you tracked down, you know. You need to be in protective custody."
"I'm needed where I am. I'll—" She'd swallowed hard. "I'll come back when you need me."
"You have to agree to call me once a week," he'd insisted. "Miss one time, and I'll have the US Marshals after you. No one can hide for long."
So she'd gone back to work, more unsettled than ever. She was grateful for the work that consumed her attention, but she equally felt the need to get away, to pl
an her next destination. There seemed no question she would have to go—and soon.
She wouldn't wait for Ian, hoping he'd make a late night stop. He likely wouldn't come, not after she'd fled with such clear cowardice. That was best, really. Soon she'd be all alone again, and she'd better get used to it, stop having ridiculous fantasies about being part of a big family, of belonging here.
Don't hurt him.
"Excuse me? Hello?"
Abruptly she looked up to see two strangers and a baby standing in her kitchen. "Can I help you? We're really busy right now, but if you'll just go back into the dining room, I'm sure Jeanette—"
But the dark-haired, curvy woman only smiled and handed the baby to the tall, rugged cowboy beside her. "I can see that. Here, Boone, take Lilah Rose. I'll get an apron."
"What? No— You can't—"
Then Ruby spoke from behind Scarlett. "You know where the aprons are, Maddie."
The woman named Maddie laughed. "I don't mean the elf-sized ones. Where's a normal one?"
Scarlett's brows snapped together. The nerve— "What's going on, Nana? Who are these people? I don't have time for pranks."
"It won't take you two seconds to meet your cousin Boone and his wife Maddie."
Cousin? She blinked.
The man grinned. "I'm Boone Gallagher, and I'll apologize in advance that my hard-headed wife got too antsy to wait to meet you." He moved closer and stuck out a hand.
"Oh, good grief. No handshakes—we're family." Maddie bustled up and grabbed Scarlett in a hard hug. "When Ruby told us about you, there was no way we were going to wait. Family is too important. Only thing more important than food."
"She should know," Ruby said. "She used to work up in New York, too. Now she owns a diner in Morning Star, and she stole half my menu."
Maddie only laughed gaily. "Ruby stole half of mine, so we're even." Then she took the baby from Boone. "This is our daughter, Lilah Rose. Our sons Dalton and Sam are back home, staying with Boone's brother Mitch and his family. We didn't want to overwhelm you with the wild bunch, but she's too young to leave just yet. I'm still nursing her."
Scarlett couldn't seem to form a response. Maddie was like a big, friendly tornado sweeping right over everything in sight.
"You're scaring her, babe. Take a breath." Boone grinned. Rugged and rangy, he was the perfect image of a cowboy, his Stetson over tawny hair, his blue eyes friendly. "A force of nature is my Maddie. Aunt Ruby, let's take Lilah Rose into the dining room and get out of Scarlett's way. I know those hungry folks out there would thank us." Swiftly and easily he cleared everyone out, but only after a kiss and a long, loving look at Maddie. "Behave. Don't try to take over."
"As if I would." Maddie shook her head. "Well, I wouldn't mean to, at least. Okay—" Maddie turned to her, tying on her apron with swift professionalism. "Tell me where you need me. I know this menu like the back of my hand."
"Then why don't I just go sit in the dining room, too?" Scarlett worked to keep her temper in check.
Maddie grinned at her. "I know. Sharing your kitchen sucks, doesn't it? I should have waited, but today is the only day my place is closed, so if we were going to visit, it had to be now." She burst into laughter. "If you could see your face…"
When Scarlett didn't join in her laughter, Maddie stepped back. "I'll take the apron off right now if you want me to. I honestly only want to help. It's a great way to get to know each other, cooking together."
Scarlett stared. "Does anyone ever say no to you?"
"Not often. I'll grow on you." She held out her open palms. "So what will it be? You can give me the grunt work." Her eyes twinkled. "And while we're working, I'm going to shamelessly beg for every scrap of information on the state of New York restaurants today."
"How could you leave there for a diner in—where's Morning Glory?"
"Morning Star, which is even smaller than Sweetgrass. It's two and a half hours north of here." Her smile went wide. "And I did it for love, of course. Best move I ever made, but boy, did I agonize over it." She glanced out toward her family. "To think I nearly missed out on them…"
She turned back. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to hear the skinny on what's hot that I'm not learning on the food blogs. Like explain to me how anyone up there thinks they can possibly turn fried okra into an avant garde appetizer. Excuse me? Some things are sacred."
Scarlett couldn't help grinning. "Where did you grow up?"
"North Carolina. You?"
"All over. But we lived in Durham for a bit. And Boone for six months."
"Boone. One of my favorite spots in the world. Wouldn't you know I'd fall in love with a guy by that name?"
She really was impossible not to like. And the orders were stacking up. "The breakfast rush will be over soon—or I hope it will. Half the world has shown up here today, it seems."
"Ruby says your cooking puts hers in the shade, and that's no small compliment. Of course they're coming here in droves."
Scarlett mentally surrendered. "Where did you work in New York?"
Maddie rattled off several names. "I was offered ownership in Sancerre once my thirty days were over."
"Thirty days?"
Maddie grinned. "Long story. Boone's dad willed me his ranch, and—"
"Willed you Boone's ranch?"
"Yeah. Boone was away in the service at the time. He was a SEAL. Turns out it used to be my family's ranch, only I knew my father under a different name."
Scarlett blinked.
"It's complicated. You kinda need a scorecard, and I've barely scratched the surface." Maddie laughed. "Anyway, Boone and I had to stay on the ranch together for thirty days before he could buy me out. He wasn't happy. Not a fan of city girls."
Like someone else Scarlett knew.
"But somewhere along the way, we fell crazy in love, only I couldn't imagine staying in Nowhere, Texas when I could have New York at my feet. You know?"
Scarlett had to look away. "Yes." She also knew what it was like to fall from such a lofty height.
"You okay?" Maddie asked. "Sorry—just blabbing on about me when you're the one who's interesting. So where did you work?"
Scarlett froze, her conversation with the DA on her mind. She didn't know what to do about him. Didn't want anyone here knowing how spectacularly she'd failed.
But she could be exposed so easily. And this friendly woman posed a danger she wasn't ready for. She seized upon the first distraction. "Your daughter is darling. Did you say you have two boys?"
Maddie hesitated and looked at her curiously.
At last, though, thank heavens, she let Scarlett off the hook. "I do. They're five and three and they—"
Gratefully Scarlett listened and continued to work.
* * *
After Boone and Maddie left that night, Scarlett's head was whirling. She'd managed to dodge more conversations about her past, if just barely. Her cousin Boone—
Wow. A cousin. And there were more in that branch—his brother Mitch was married and had two boys, plus Boone and Mitch and Maddie shared a half-sister named Lacey. She frowned. Lacey was the product of Maddie's…dad? Yes, her dad and Boone and Mitch's mother. So Lacey was a half-sibling to them all, only they hadn't known about her until five years ago.
And here Scarlett had thought her past was convoluted.
Lacey was married to…Dominic? No—Devlin. And they had two daughters, one adopted and a biological daughter named, um…Jenny. After the mother Lacey shared with Boone and Mitch. And she and Dev had a boy on the way.
Whew. She thought that was all of them. She was dying to meet them. Boone raised quarterhorses, and Mitch was an adventure guide who'd built a house on the same ranch. Lacey and Dev lived in Houston where her adoptive parents lived, but they all saw each other all the time, according to Boone.
When Boone could get a word in edgewise, that is, but he never seemed to mind how Maddie chattered. Who could? A friendlier person had never been born. Scarlett felt like a curmudge
on in comparison, and she had great social skills.
Scarlett had a standing invitation to Morning Star, along with an implied threat that if she didn't use it soon, Maddie would be on her doorstep.
Scarlett grinned. A force of nature, indeed.
She adored them all. That precious Lilah Rose had taken to her and cuddled up in her lap so trustingly… Scarlett hadn't been around children much and hadn't given a lot of thought to having any, but that little girl could make a believer out of anyone. She had her daddy's blue eyes—which were remarkably like Scarlett's own, she'd realized with a shock—and her mother's chestnut hair.
What would her own child look like?
Suddenly her brain was blasted with an image of a baby with sun-streaked dark hair and brown eyes like—
No. Ian and she would never have babies. The hollow that opened inside her was something she just had to will away. It was beyond unrealistic.
Besides, for all she knew, she would never see Ian again. He hadn't come to the cafe all day, nor had he shown up that night after closing.
Just as well. She would, of course, see him at the work day Saturday, she realized, but after that—
Don't think about after that. It was impossible not to, though, now that Ruby had come back to the cafe. She hadn't cooked, but she'd sat out in front and visited with her customers, who treated her like royalty. She wasn't strong yet, but she would be.
She wouldn't need Scarlett here forever. The thought was surprisingly distressing.
Go to sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day.
She lay awake, staring at the ceiling, for a long time after.
* * *
On Thursday night Ian couldn't stand it anymore. He climbed back in his truck and headed into town.
She was in there, working alone, as independent as ever. Determined not to lean on anyone.
Tell me what's wrong.
How about you start by telling me how losing your mom really makes you feel?
He had never wanted to talk to anyone about his mom, at least not since he was a little boy. His dad felt bad enough—why make things harder? So he'd learned to lock it away. Forget her.
Damn it, Scarlett…
He stepped inside. Exhaled hard. "I cried every night for weeks after my mother left."
Texas Roots: The Gallaghers of Sweetgrass Springs Page 18