by Nikki Chase
“Yeah, the meat is maybe kind of okay sometimes, but this egg is made of something unholy. It tastes like Styrofoam.” Karen takes a bite. “And cancer. It tastes like Styrofoam and cancer.”
I laugh.
“So before you passed out, I take it you were about to…” Karen leaves her sentence unfinished, but the way she wiggles her eyebrows up and down tells me exactly what she’s talking about.
I can’t help the grin that’s spreading across my cheeks right now. I still can’t believe Gabe and I were about to do it last night.
“Way to go, Summers.” Karen returns my grin. “Like a scared little baby deer, you were so worried last night. But you slayed him like a majestic lioness. Well done.”
“Well, I’m glad that’s how you think of me and I’d love to maintain that kick-ass image, but that’s not exactly how it went down last night. I kind of made a fool of myself.”
“With that pretty face, you don’t have to worry about stuff like that,” Karen says. “Now I feel bad about letting you drink so much last night. If it weren’t for that, he would’ve—” she drops her voice “—he would’ve made a woman out of you.”
I giggle, even as a spark of excitement lights up in my brain. God, I’d love for something like that to happen.
As my gaze wanders, I realize someone’s watching me.
Gabe.
He’s sitting with another doctor—I can’t tell who his lunch mate is because I can only see the back of his head and his white coat. Gabe occasionally nods and I can see his lips moving as he speaks with the other doctor, but his green eyes keep flicking to stare at me.
“I was wondering why you went quiet all of a sudden,” Karen says as she looks back over her shoulder, following the direction of my gaze. “He’s totally still checking you out. What happened last night?”
I hesitate.
My whole life, I’ve put people in separate boxes and avoided mixing them together.
Gabe belongs in the “family” box because I met him through my brothers. But now he’s at the hospital, mingling with members of my “workplace” box.
Maybe it’s okay to let the two overlap a little. I mean, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to talk to Gabe last night if it weren’t for Karen, so I kind of owe her a story.
Besides, it’s not like I can just stop Gabe from coming to the hospital.
So I tell Karen what happened last night, without mentioning about the history between Gabe and me. As the words flow from my mouth, I relive the magical moments, when Gabe and I met again under the moonlight on that balcony, as waves wash over sand and rocks.
It feels so long ago, so far removed from this bright, austere hospital. But Gabe’s still gazing at me across the cafeteria, so it must’ve really happened.
I have no idea what Gabe wants to do on Thursday, but whatever it is… I want it.
Jacqueline
The days go by in a blur of activity. That’s just par for the course when you’re a medical intern.
But I’ve been counting my days until today.
It’s Thursday. I’m supposed to have dinner with Gabe tonight.
I guess things are working out pretty well. If I’d gone up to his room that night, I would’ve only had a one-night stand with him. But now, I’ll have a dinner at least.
On the other hand, if we’d already had sex that first night and he’d liked it, then we would’ve already done it a bunch of times by now. And I wouldn’t be a virgin anymore.
Okay. What?
I’m not making sense to myself. That’s one of the things that happen when sleep deprivation hits me.
This is not good.
This is so not a good time to be extra dumb.
I should blame Gabe. He picked the first night I have the next day off.
Normally, I’d go home and pass out for, like, twelve hours.
Instead, I have a date tonight. An intense, exciting, stress-inducing event.
I don’t know how he got his hands on my schedule, and I don’t know how I should feel about it.
I’ve been stalking him forever, so I think what he’s doing is really sweet. I imagine him rifling through a list of the interns’ schedule, searching for my name. I know how he must feel at that moment, because I felt it too, when I found out he was coming into town.
But at the same time, it worries me that he’s digging into my personal details. I don’t know what he might find, and there are a few things I don’t want him to ever know about me.
There’s one thing in particular that would make him suspect me or even hate me if he knows.
I walk down the hall in a daze, busy with my thoughts. When the main door of the hospital opens, warm summer breeze caresses my skin and lures me back into reality.
It’s too bright outside, but I notice Gabe’s convertible at the bottom of the concrete steps immediately, even though it takes a while for my eyes to completely adjust.
He looks different tonight. More like the old him.
When I met him after the award event, he looked dapper in his crisp suit.
I’ve been admiring the way he looks in his scrubs and white coat at the hospital for days, and I still can’t get enough of how he handles tough situations and makes difficult decisions under pressure. So obviously I’m a fan of that look as well.
But tonight, Gabe reminds me of how he used to be. He’s wearing a pair of dark jeans, a plain white T-shirt, and a navy-blue blazer.
It feels like the old Gabe has rocked up to pick up the old Jackie so we can hang out together.
“Jacqueline,” Gabe greets me, reminding me that it’s been eight years since the last time we hung out, and that he has no idea who I really am.
“Hi, Gabriel.” I have to keep reminding myself to not slip up and call him Gabe. It wouldn’t be natural. Everyone else calls him Gabriel.
He leans over in his seat and opens the door of his convertible from the inside. “You look great.”
“Thank you.” I smile as I carefully get into the car, ass-first, so I don’t flash anybody my lady bits. Looks like I went with the right choice, going with my favorite little black dress. I pull the car door closed. “You look nice, too.”
“Thanks.” Gabe puts his hand on the back of my seat as he backs up the car.
Maybe it sounds a little sad, but just the nearness of his hand makes my heart beat faster. When I glance at him, his face is full of concentration and the veins in his forearm are popping.
“Aren’t we drawing too much attention?” I ask when I notice the pairs of eyes staring at us. A part of me wonders what they think of us. Do we look like a couple?
But I’m already risking a lot by making contact with Gabe without my family’s knowledge. If someone sees us together and recognizes us both, I’d be in trouble. Worse still, I might drag Gabe down with me.
Luckily we live in a big city. But I’d still rather be safe than sorry.
“I don’t care if people stare,” Gabe says. “They can’t help it because you’re so beautiful.”
My cheeks heat up, only to cool down when we start gliding down the main street, with the wind lashing against my face.
“Where are we going?” I ask, shouting over the sound of the wind.
“You’ll see.”
As the car speeds down the highway and toward the west, the orange sun gradually hangs lower in front of us.
I’m glad I didn’t try to do anything fancy with my hair. The way Gabe’s driving, it will be a mess by the time we reach wherever it is we’re going. With my quick, easy bun, at least the mess looks deliberate.
When we pull up at the beach, it feels like I’ve regained my hearing. Without the wind blowing in my ears, I can pick up the sounds of children laughing and people chattering all around us.
“I’m glad you decided to show up,” Gabe says as he gets out and shoves the car door closed.
It feels weird to close all the doors of a car and still have all the interior exposed to the outdoors.
I don’t get convertibles.
“I did say I would, Gabe…riel.”
Gabe doesn’t seem to notice my mistake. “Yeah, but you have a history of saying things you don’t mean.” He casually puts his hand around waist.
At the hospital, I’ve caught Gabe staring at me whenever we’re in the same room. Sometimes, he’d smile or even quickly say hi.
But it’s busy at work, and we haven’t had much chance to talk after that first morning.
To be honest, I was beginning to feel neglected.
“I don’t say things I don’t mean,” I protest, even though I couldn’t care less. Not with the heat of his hand on my waist.
“Yeah?” Gabe has a wicked twinkle in his eyes when he turns to look at me. “What about when you pretended to be a smoker? Or when you said you were going to go up to my room?”
“I never said I was a smoker, and I really intended to go up to your room.”
Gabe chuckles. “You’re trying to hide something. I don’t know what it is, but you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.”
A chill runs down my spine.
As small beads of sweat start to dot my forehead, I realize Gabe looks too relaxed for someone who suspects his date of having a big, dark secret.
I’m being silly. He probably thinks I’m just not comfortable in my own skin or something silly like that.
“One of these days, someone’s going to take you for something you’re not, and what are you going to do then, angel?” Gabe gives me a smirk and an intense stare that stops my heart for a second, but then he points at something in the distance. “That’s what we’re having for dinner tonight.”
“Hot dog?”
I mean, I don’t expect a romantic candle-lit dinner at some Michelin-starred restaurant, but a hot dog stand?
I have to admit the walk on the beach is nice, though. The sun is just starting to set, coloring the darkening sky orange and pink. A crowd gathers around a guy who’s playing a big African drum.
“Yeah, hot dog.” Gabe gives me a grin that makes him look almost boyish.
“Cool.”
He gestures to an empty bench on the boardwalk and I take a seat there as he goes to order our dinner.
Men look sexy when they’re getting me food. Maybe buying food is the modern equivalent of some good old hunting and gathering. Or maybe I just like watching Gabe’s cute ass while he walks away,
When he comes back, Gabe hands me a hot dog and takes a seat beside me. He says, “I used to come here all the time when I was still living here.”
Yeah, I know. With Sam.
“Are you planning on staying?” I can’t stop myself from asking.
“I don’t know. I don’t have anything to stay for,” he says, his words stabbing me in the heart without him even realizing it.
I don’t blame him. To him, we’re practically strangers. He doesn’t know I’ve loved him my whole life. There’s no reason why he should stay just for me.
“Why are you here, then?” I ask.
“My father’s trying to persuade me to stay but… I don’t know.” Gabe sighs, then turns to look at me. “How do you feel about the work that you do, Jacqueline? Is being a doctor everything you’ve always hoped it would be?”
I finish chewing on the hot dog in my mouth and swallow. “Those are some really loaded questions.”
Gabe laughs. “Okay, let’s keep it simple then. How do you like your job, Jacqueline?”
“Eh,” I say, “I expected the long hours and the exhaustion. I didn’t expect there to be so much admin work. I barely see my own patients. I spend most of my time in front of a computer.”
Gabe turns to me with tenderness in his eyes, like the way he used to look at me when we were both younger. Except there’s something else in there: desire.
He opens his mouth to speak, but electronic beeps from somewhere inside his jacket interrupt him before he could even start.
Gabe takes out a pager. The dim light from the screen glows hauntingly, intruding on our date.
“Damn it,” he curses.
“Is it the hospital?”
“Yeah, I have to go back. Sorry,” he says. “Let’s get you home, okay?”
“Uh, yeah… Home. Okay.” I get up and follow him down the boardwalk. “But I have to say… you’re building up a history of saying things you don’t mean.”
Gabe laughs.
“You said we’d have dinner,” I say.
“We did have dinner.”
“We had, like, half a dinner.” I hold up my cardboard container for him to see. “Actually, this looks more like two-thirds of a hot dog, so I only had one-third of a dinner. And you just threw away your hot dog into that trash can over there so I can’t even tell how much is left.”
“Okay, I owe you the other half of dinner.” Gabe chuckles, but then he grabs my ass cheek, pulls me close, and whispers in my ear, “But remember, you owe me one night in my bed.”
My core clenches. He touches me like he owns me, like I’m his possession. And it makes me want to surrender.
I give Gabe the directions to Karen’s apartment, and the car pulls up in front of it.
This conspicuous car… There’s no way it’ll go unnoticed if Gabe were to really drop me off at home. My mom would definitely get excited about me snagging some rich surgeon or something.
But even before my mom realizes who’s taking me home, Gabe would recognize our house. He used to drop by all the time, after all.
“That was a good first date, angel,” Gabe says.
“Says you.” I smile.
“Well, it wasn’t a complete date. If you spend the whole night with me—” Gabe puts his hand on my cheek and leans in “—I’ll convince you.”
I close my eyes and part my lips for him. His kiss is forceful and impatient. I have no doubt he’ll be just as dominant in bed, and the thought thrills me.
We don’t have much time, so he ends the kiss and I step out of the car, my pussy tingling with anticipation.
I call a cab to really take me home as I watch Gabe drive away.
Damn it, Gabe. The more I see you, the more I want you.
Yes, it was a good date. But it wasn’t a “good first date.” Because it wasn’t our “first.”
Our real first date was eight years ago.
The opening night of the new Art Center. There were fireworks. Literal sparks. And you still treated me like I was just some kid.
Jacqueline
My jaw drops when a tray is placed on the table that I share with Karen.
As if nothing’s out of the ordinary, Gabe sits down beside me and takes a big bite of the egg. “Ugh, this tastes like Styrofoam.”
“Thank you,” Karen says without missing a beat. “That’s exactly what I said. Styrofoam and cancer.”
Gabe laughs, and I turn to stare at him.
Under my breath, I ask, “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Joining you for lunch,” he says. “What does it look like?”
“I thought we were keeping a low profile.”
“On what? This?” Gabe points at me, then at himself.
I nod.
“I never said that. Besides, you don’t think people already know you’re mine? You saw the way they stared when we were going out on our hot date, right?”
“It wasn’t a hot…” My voice trails off as I realize something. “That’s not the point. Don’t you think this looks a little unprofessional?”
“No, I don’t, actually. I don’t care who people have lunch with,” he says.
“Let him stay, Jacqueline,” Karen says. “This can only be good for us. Dr. Kent, how well do you know Dr. Kerry from cardiology?”
“Not well enough to know if he’s seeing anyone, but well enough to tell him a cute intern is interested in him,” Gabe says.
“That’s well enough for me. I’d appreciate it, especially if you throw in the word ‘cute’ like you just did.”
“See, Jacqueline
?” Gabe asks. “It’s not a big deal. Everybody in this hospital is seeing each other. We spend so much of our lives here, it’s hard to have a life outside of it. So nobody cares.”
“You know what, that is sad but also true,” Karen chimes in. “You know who I saw having sex in the on-call room last night? Dr. Goldman and Dr. Stewart.”
Gabe raises his eyebrows, but then he calmly says, “Good for Dr. Goldman.”
“Right?” Karen asks.
How are these two so chummy? They’re supposed to belong to separate boxes. Karen is still in my “workplace” box, but Gabe keeps insisting on breaking out of my “family” box and invading the other ones. Stay where you belong, Gabe!
To be fair, though, I was the one who invited him into my life again through a work event. So I really don’t have a leg to stand on here.
For the rest of the lunch, I have to listen to Karen fill Gabe in on the latest hospital gossip. Presumably, she’s trying to get on his good side so she’ll have a better chance of getting to know Dr. Kerry.
Traitor.
When she finishes eating, Karen checks her watch and gets up to leave.
I start to stand up on my feet, but a strong hand wraps around my arm.
“Sit down.” Gabe says it in a calm tone, but there’s an air of authority in his voice that forces me to obey.
So I obey.
“Good girl.” It’s almost like he’s a different person compared to the guy who just had a light, casual chat with my friend. He says, “I thought I’d try to keep my work and personal life apart, but that didn’t work out very well yesterday, did it?”
“No,” I admit.
“So now I’m not waiting for some time off to give you that punishment.”
“What punishment?” I ask, as if I haven’t replayed our conversation hundreds of times in my head, as if I haven’t fantasized about all the dirty things Gabe’s promised to do to me.
“I have to punish you for making me wait, angel. I told you I would.” Without any further explanation, Gabe gets up with his plastic tray and leaves me wondering.
What is he planning to do?