I got into my daughter’s room and I knew immediately upon seeing her on the bed that she was gone. I tried to reach for her, but the flames were too high and then my only hope vanished, as the entire ceiling came down. I was barely able to move away from the carnage. I thought that this was god’s way of punishing me for not being, as religious as I should’ve been. I’d stepped away from the catholic lifestyle and maybe I did get caught up in material things.
“The boat will be here soon. I just hope that you know what you’re doing. I know that we’ve gone over this a million times, but I still think that maybe you’re making a rash decision. The American west in 1860 is not a nice place for strangers from a strange land.” I could see that the white hair on her head was due to the first few years of dealing with a precocious child like me.
I made it back to the bedroom, but once again I was too late. He was lying there, but he did not die of smoke inhalation. What took him was the fire that had now consumed him. I don’t know why I didn’t hear him scream, but maybe it was for the best. That image alone would haunt me for the rest of my life, no matter if I found happiness or not. It wasn’t like I could go back and even if I could, I’m not sure that I would’ve made any decisions differently. My life would always be with my child and I think in the end any mother would agree with my assessment.
“You really did scare us, Emma. I know that you said that you didn’t mean to, but I’m still not sure if I believe you. Emma, if you really did stay in there and want to die, then I’m glad that they didn’t allow you to do that. Those people were a godsend. They came to your rescue and I only wished that they could have done the same thing for Jasper and Laura. Unfortunately, it was their time and god wanted them back at his hand. We may not understand it, but god does work in mysterious ways.”
I felt the hands of someone pulling me from the house and I struggled to stop them. I wanted to die. It wasn’t like I had anything left to live for. My husband was dead, my child was dead and everything that I had was gone. In the blink of an eye a raging fire destroyed my heart and broke it into pieces that I wouldn’t be able to put back together again.
They found me with the bible clutched in my hands, burned into the fabric of the leather bound volume. I don’t even know how I got my hands on it. It was in the dresser. I don’t remember reaching in, but I must’ve at some point.
Standing here with my mother and watching the boat in the distance get closer; I know that this is the best for everyone. My mother and father may not say so, but they were getting a little sick and tired of hearing me mope and moan. It had been almost a month. Even after the fire, it didn’t end there. Bills began to pile up and my parents tried to help out, but it became an effort in futility. Jasper was the bread winner of the family and he wasn’t around anymore.
“Mother, I appreciate everything that you and father have done. I just don’t have anything left here. I wasn’t sure about my decision to become a mail order bride, but Lucas is a good man. He needs help in dealing with his niece. I’m sure that there’s going to be an adjustment, but at least I won’t have the constant painful reminders all around me.” I moved my hands through my long chestnut hair. It was pulled back into a bun and I looked more matronly than I wanted to.
“Emma, you do what you have to do, but remember you still have family back here in England.” I was the younger version of my mother. We were the same height at 5 foot 10, 120 pounds and the kind of figure that was making every guy look at us at this very moment. They probably thought that they were being subtle, but their leering gaze was not lost on either one of us. My mother might have been older, but she still had the body of a 20 year old. There were even times that people had mistaken us for sisters.
“I know that you’re here and you don’t know how important family is to me. I think I proved that with trying to save mine. Do you know to this day that I really thought that I had a chance of saving both of them? How stupid is that? I actually thought that I could beat the blazing inferno that was hell bent on taking my life for a ride that I will never forget. I also forsake god, but then I realized that things happen for a reason. I still don’t know what this reason is, but I’m sure that eventually it will become clear.” The horn of the boat told everybody that it was time to embark on a new adventure. The American west was where I was going to go. Texas was where I was going to find my next home.
I could only hope that the land that my husband had would go to good owner. With the sale of the land, I was able to pay back the debts, but it left me very little in the coffers. Even the suitcase that I was carrying was not of my taste. I’d got it from a used store of all places. I will admit that it was functional, but ugly as sin.
I stepped up to the gangplank. I looked back at my mother, who was standing there with a tear in her eye. I was tempted to just stay and weather the storm of my grief. I made a deep sigh, turned around and I promised myself that I would not turn back for anything. This was my destiny. Even though fate was fickle, I still had to abide by the cards that were dealt to me.
I had no money for a stateroom. I had to slum and with the locals down into the bowels of the ship. It was humid and the room was only big enough for a bed. I sat down heavily, put my face into my hands and I wept openly for at least an hour. This was very new for me. I had never gone out of the city of England, let alone out of the country. I was sheltered, as a child that is until my father fell on hard times due to an injury. It was time to find a new life and I could only hope that Lucas would be as promised.
Chapter two
I was used to the best of everything, but now that I was a widow. I really didn’t have much to call my own. I stayed in my room most of the time and only ventured out into the boat to find something to eat from time to time. I felt completely isolated from the rest of the world. At that moment it was exactly what I needed to find some peace of mind.
I heard the announcement that we were arriving in the port of Texas. I certainly wasn’t looking forward to this, but it was a necessary evil. I did enjoy the letter that I’d gotten from Lucas. He seemed like a good man, but anybody can say anything in a letter. After all, you are pretty much anonymous, until that final day that you meet face to face.
I was standing at the gangplank, looking around to see if I could find him and maybe ascertain if he was truly what I was looking for or not.
“This is a new life for you, Emma. We talked about this at length during the trip over here, but you’ve always seen a little distant. I can understand why and losing your family like that must’ve taken the wind out of your sails. I may not be coming here, as a mail order bride, but I am coming here with virtually nothing to my name.” Janice was another English transplant that was looking for a new life. She had decided to become a maid and I just hoped that she knew what she was doing. Then again, how could I cast stones, when I was doing something equally as risky.
“It’s been very nice talking to you Janice. I hope that we can stay in touch, but I’ll understand if we drift apart. I did notice that where you’re living is only a little while from where I’m at. The Steele ranch is about 50 acres of prime real estate. I think that Lucas would’ve been able to take care of his niece, had it not been for the fact that he also owns several other properties that he manages. He can’t always have her under foot. I think it takes a strong woman with a background in mothering to really know what the child is going to need.”
“It helps that you and her have something in common. You both can use your loss to find common ground. I hope we do see each other again, Emma. It’s been a pleasure, but I do believe I see my ride.” She’s pointing in the distance and I could see a stagecoach with a man dressed impeccably, but he didn’t look particularly nice in my opinion. The wife was dressed demurely. She had her eyes down and I could tell that she was trying to hide the fact that she had been abused in some way. I saw no visible signs of bruises, but verbal abuse can be just as bad, as physical. I didn’t want that for Janice, but there w
asn’t all that much that I could do to stop her from starting this new chapter in her life.
I was looking for a man and a small young girl, but apparently he had come alone. Before I knew it, he had grabbed my wrist and I looked down to see that he was holding me with such a force that I thought for sure that he was going to break it. “I really don’t have time for this, Miss White. I have things to do and my mother can’t continue to baby sit for Nancy. We really do need to get going.” I felt a little rushed. He didn’t give me time to adjust or even get to know this man on any sort of level.”
He made me feel like I was some kind of possession that he owned and that he was going to take regardless if I said yes or no. He had taken my luggage without even asking and I thought that I was going to be dealing with a gentleman. As it was, he was crass, didn’t smell very nice, but on the other side of the coin he was pleasant to look at. If I had my choice, I would shave that ungodly beard off of his face, but maybe he was just a work in progress.
As he was pulling me away from the crowd, I was getting winded. If I didn’t know any better, I would think that I was wearing some kind invisible leash. I didn’t get a chance to say anything and I had my mouth open for some kind of rebuttal, but I didn’t get a chance to say it.
I did notice that his hands were calloused and that he was obviously used to manual labor and putting a lot of hard work into a farm. “I’ve got to rustle my cattle and get them ready for market. Coming here and picking you up, Emma has been a terrible inconvenience. It has put me back a least a few hours. I just can’t stand having things to do and not enough time to do them.” He was frustrated and I was going to take what he was doing to me with a grain of salt.
I did have to admit that his manly and yet forceful way was kind of getting to me. I’d never had a man touch me like that and it was causing an undue side effect between my legs. I didn’t expect to find him attractive, but in a rough and ready kind of way, he was exactly the opposite of what my husband Jasper used to be. Perhaps, I was looking for something different. Something that was unlike me and I had to say that this guy was ticking all the boxes.
“Lucas, I’m really getting tired of you pulling me like this. I can walk on my own.” I finally wrenched free from his grasp, rubbing my wrist and showing him that I was little uncomfortable with the way that he was manhandling me. Unfortunately, my mind was also conjuring up images of what it would be like to be manhandled in a different way. I’d never had anything like that and the very idea was quite interesting to say the least. “I know that I’m here just to look after your niece Nancy. I think we can agree that marriage is a big step.” He didn’t give me a chance to finish my thought. He produced a ring and slipped it on to my finger without even getting down on his knees.
“I promised you a ring and here’s a ring. Now, if we are through with the 20 questions can we please get going?” Even though he said please, it didn’t feel like he was being sincere about it. He was wearing a black duster, black hat and cowhide leather gloves that really made him look like he was a villain about to rob a bank.
His eyes were cold, but I think that was more to do with the fact that he was in a rush to get me back to his place. “I thought that there might be more romance involved. You did say that you liked walking by a serene river and listening to your own thoughts. You said that you liked to hold hands and get to know a woman in a more than physical way. It was your words that swayed me to give you a chance and the fact that you lost your brother and I lost my family made me think that we had a little in common.
He turned abruptly and grabbed both from my wrists at the same time. “I only said that because I was desperate to find somebody. I do have a niece Nancy and to be honest, I just need a woman’s touch to finally get through to this kid. She is always making me angry, breaking things and throwing tantrums. I’m getting sick and tired of being treated like a second class citizen in my own home. I have no delusions about love. I didn’t think it was possible and I’m not looking for anything that is more than just a commitment to look after Nancy.”
There was no carriage and my luggage had to be put onto the horse in front of me, while he got in behind and put his hands around me to grab the reins. He slapped it heavily against the horses hide and it took off in a gallop that made me almost go flying off. It was a good thing that I was in the front, or I would’ve been on the ground with some serious injuries.
He wasn’t kidding about being in a hurry. I didn’t even know that horses could go that fast. The countryside was going by, so fast that I didn’t even get a chance to enjoy it. We arrived at this grey house and I could see this woman holding this little girl’s hand. The girl was wearing this summer yellow and white dress, tugging at the woman’s hand and putting up a fight that was worthy of the woman with attitude.
“You know that I have to get to town, son. You said that you’d be here 20 minutes ago.” I was getting a pretty good idea of how he was raised. She was opinionated, very caustic and had a strict eye for rules that made me believe that there was a lot of punishment and not a lot of love in that house. Unfortunately, when a young kid is dominated in that way, he becomes exactly like his parents, even if he’s not meaning to. Maybe I could soften him up a bit, but that remained to be seen.
He got off the horse to lift the kicking and screaming Nancy onto his shoulder. I finally got a chance to see a little bit more of him. The duster was hiding a great physique and I could see that his shoulders were buff and there was probably not even an ounce of fat on this man.
“Stop kicking me, Nancy and I don’t have time for this.” He didn’t even bother to kiss his mother on the cheek or say two words to her. He handed me Nancy and I held her in front of me with a firm grip on her hips to make her believe that she had to settle down. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt her, but it was supposed to get her attention and it did that.
Once again, we were off and running and I knew that I was going to be sore the morning with the way that my body was bouncing up and down on this horse. I had ridden all my life, but not to this extreme degree or in a dress for that matter.
“I hope that the two of you can get along for a little while without me. I do have a lot to do. When I do finish, I would like a nice home cooked meal on the table. You did say in your letter that you were proficient at cooking and cleaning. I do hope that wasn’t an exaggeration.” “It was not even close to an exaggeration. I could cook, maybe not like some others, but at least I could put something on the table.
“Uncle Lucas…you’re not leaving me with her.” This was the first time that she said anything. Nancy did not like the idea of a stranger taking care of her and I suppose I could understand it from her point of view. “She’s not my mother and nobody will ever take the place of her. I don’t care if you are my uncle. Why can’t you understand that I just want to be left alone.” she did have a chip on her shoulder. She needed understanding and not somebody screaming at her 24 hours a day seven days a week.
“I don’t think I said anything about wanting your permission, Nancy. If you hadn’t been such a brat, I probably wouldn’t have had to go down this road. I was hoping that you might be able to take care of yourself, but then you almost burned down my house. That was the final straw. I was also hoping that my mother might be able to take you in, but she said that her mothering days were over. She only wants to be your grandmother.”
“Grandma stinks. She makes me do chores and stands over me while I do them.” At least this black haired handful was learning some manners. I touched her arm and I could see that she winced. I checked and saw that there was an imprint of small hands. I did not raise my daughter Laura like that and I wouldn’t do that to Nancy. Words were better than actions. Once they understood that you were the boss and that you only wanted the best for them, then they usually found a reason to behave.
We got back to his place with the winding driveway leading up to this beautiful house that was made of almost all stone. “My father built this.
He said that anything that was worth doing was worth doing well. I hope that he is looking down and giving me his seal of approval.” As far as I could tell, he was keeping up a place in fine fashion. I helped Nancy down from the horse, but she shrugged her shoulders away from me like she couldn’t be bothered. “I’ll be back in about 2 hours. It might be three, but it all depends on how fast I can rustle this cattle. I have to meet up with William. He’s my number one ranch hand and he’s probably already hard at work. He’ll be trying to do what I’m supposed to do. I hope that you can deal with her on your own, because I certainly couldn’t.”
Lucas didn’t even get off the horse, before taking off with the reins slapping back and forth against the horse. I looked at Nancy and she had her hands folded across her chest defiantly. She was making it well known that she was showing her displeasure in any way that she could find.
Chapter three
“I hope that you’re changing, Nancy. I want all of us to sit down together, as a family when your uncle gets back. He needs to see that we are getting along.” Her attitude was irksome and there were moments there that I had to go outside and clear my head. “I would like to see you down here right now, Nancy.” I was in the process of cutting some fresh vegetables I’d found in the pantry. There was already a cut of beef and I was putting the finishing touches with some scallions and some baby carrots into the pot alongside the pot roast. It had been cooking for almost an hour and ½, but to me it was the aroma of the fresh spices that was taking me back to my childhood.
“What smells so delicious?” That was the first nice thing that she had said to me all day. She walked in wearing the exact same summer dress. I’d told her to change, but there were battles that I could face down and there were battles that I could leave alone. This one was one that I was going to leave alone. “My mother never taught me how to cook. I was always around her in the kitchen, but she thought that I would hurt myself.” I think that she was looking for some kind of relationship, but she wasn’t sure how to come out and say it.
The Highlander's Taken Bride (Scottish Highlander Romance) Page 41