“It’s about damn time,” Zelda said with an incredulous sigh. “How do you feel?”
“Amazing. Best decision I’ve ever made.”
“Wait, this wasn’t your first time, was it?” she asked.
“Uh... yeah, actually.” I frowned at my phone, wondering why she sounded so freaked out about my first-time homebuyer status. “I mean, I’ve walked a lot of people through the process. I just never had the opportunity myself until now.”
“Oh. Really?”
“Zee.” I huffed and put a hand on my hip. “You’re the one who set me up with my first client.”
“Client? What the—” She paused. “Ohhhh. You bought a house.”
“Duh. Isn’t that why you’re congratulating me?”
“Nope.”
“Then why did you call?” I asked, losing my patience.
“Because you finally got laid! Roger told me all about it this morning.”
“Dorothy, drop a house on me.” I closed my eyes and groaned.
Zelda sighed heavily through the receiver. “For a minute there, I was worried about you.”
“Nope. All good. Just your everyday, garden-variety sex ritual.”
“The best kind there is, if you ask me—and don’t worry,” she added. “A hundred days will fly by in no time at all.”
Assjacket. Typical small town where everyone knew everyone’s business. And now I was here to stay. Home sweet home.
At least I was still the best real estate agent in town, though I wouldn’t be adding curse-breaking sex rituals to my resume any time soon.
To check out all the side-splitting books in the Magic and Mayhem Universe, go to https://magicandmayhemuniverse.com/
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I AM SO GRATEFUL TO Robyn Peterman for inviting me to play in her Magic and Mayhem Universe! I love her quirky, hilarious style, and I can’t wait to read more adventures set in the magical land of Assjacket, West Virginia, where the witches are wicked fun and the Shifters run wild and free!
Margo West is a new character for me, but she was inspired in part by my love for the witches of Oz and in part by my mother, who is an awesome real estate broker and friend. I called her often while writing Margo’s first tale to ask about all kinds of weird things like—Is there a seller’s disclosure form for ghosts? What kind of outdated HVAC would be found in a creepy old house?
Great big thanks are also owed to my husband for all the late-night feedback and encouragement and proofreading. You are my hero and muse, SCSGSDTP. xoxo. Extra special thanks to Bam Shepherd for a last-minute, lightning-fast proofread that magically zapped my panic attack along with a few more typos. You are amazing! <3 And last, but never least, thanks to my critique group—the Four Horsemen of the Bookocalypse, especially Kory M. Shrum—for cheering me on as I juggled all the things and nearly lost my mind. Just another day in the glamorous life of being a fantasy author. Well, maybe it’s not so glamourous, but it’s most definitely not boring, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.
More books by Angela Roquet
LANA HARVEY, REAPERS INC.
Graveyard Shift (FREE at all retailers)
Pocket Full of Posies
For the Birds
Psychopomp
Death Wish
Ghost Market
Hellfire and Brimstone
Limbo City Lights (short story collection)
The Illustrated Guide to Limbo City
.
BLOOD VICE
Blood Vice (FREE at all retailers)
Blood and Thunder
Blood in the Water
Blood Dolls
Thicker Than Blood
Blood, Sweat, and Tears
Flesh and Blood (January 2019)
.
SPERO HEIGHTS
Blood Moon
Death at First Sight
The Midnight District
.
SACRED REALMS
Daughter of the War (November 2018)
.
OTHER TITLES
Crazy Ex-Ghoulfriend
Backwoods Armageddon
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
USA TODAY bestselling author Angela Roquet is a great big weirdo. She collects Danger Girl comic books, owls, skulls, random craft supplies, and all things Joss Whedon. She's a fan of renewable energy, marriage equality, and religious tolerance. As long as whatever you're doing isn't hurting anyone, she's a fan of you, too.
Angela lives in Missouri with her husband and son. She's a member of SFWA and HWA, as well as the Four Horsemen of the Bookocalypse, her epic book critique group, where she's known as Death. When she's not swearing at the keyboard, she enjoys boating with her family at Lake of the Ozarks and reading books that raise eyebrows.
Find out more about Angela and her books online at www.angelaroquet.com
How to Sell a Haunted House Page 9