by Sandy Hall
“Yeah, whatever.”
“No, I’m serious, Gabe. I’m sorry if you thought I was like minimizing anything. I just want you to not get so down on yourself,” I say, measuring my words carefully.
“I know. I’m working on it.”
“Cool.”
He nods and takes a deep breath. “Can you maybe help me with this Lea thing? I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Of course,” I say. “I’ll tutor you in stats and getting the ladies.”
“You’re such a dork,” he says. “Forget I asked. I’m going to get Bailey’s help.”
“No way!”
“Or Sam.”
“I score way more chicks than Bailey and Sam put together!”
He makes a dubious face and we move on to other topics.
Squirrel!
It smells like snow and I can’t remember where I hid all of my acorns.
The boy and girl are walking toward each other but don’t see each other yet and I hope they smile.
I think they’re going to smile.
I wonder if they know where all of my acorns went.
They get to the walkway of a building and they look at each other for a minute, just standing there in the cold.
“Hi, Gabe.”
“Hi, Lea.”
Then I remember that I hid them behind a gigantic bush last time I saw this boy and this girl. But last time I saw this boy and this girl they didn’t say anything to each other. Maybe now they’re going to be friends!
Acorns are my friends!
Inga (creative writing professor)
Something makes me look up from the paper I’m grading and through my office window I see Gabe and Lea standing outside red faced and smiling. I can’t believe they’re here at the same time. I feel giddy to the point that I should be embarrassed. No one should feel this invested in a couple they aren’t a part of.
I tell myself to be cool as I wait the endless moments for them to walk down the hallway to my office. Then I see him pull the door open for her.
“Hey, guys!” I say as they walk in.
“Hi,” Lea says.
Gabe waves.
“We, um. I mean, I am turning in my paper. I don’t know why Gabe is here,” Lea says, her face getting redder.
“I’m here to do that, too,” he jumps in.
“You guys didn’t come together?” I ask, my heart sinking a tiny bit.
“No, no, we ran into each other outside,” Lea explains. But she still can’t keep her eyes off Gabe as he goes through the folder in his backpack.
“Is it snowing out yet?” I ask, wanting to keep them here a little longer.
“No,” Lea says, shaking her head. “It smells like it could.”
“Like it could what?” Gabe asks, looking at Lea.
“Like it might snow,” she tells him.
“I didn’t know it was supposed to snow.”
“They said it might flurry,” she explains.
“It’s cold enough,” Gabe says.
I feel like I’m intruding on their conversation, mundane as it is, but they’re still both holding on to their final papers for dear life and I don’t want to interrupt them. For all I know I might have the chance to see them set up their first date right this very second. I look back and forth between them like it’s Wimbledon.
“Um, are you done with finals?” Lea asks. Be still my heart, I think she might actually be asking him to hang out right in front of me. I have never been lucky enough to be privy to this moment before. Calm down, Inga, be still, don’t scare them away.
He pulls off his beanie, revealing some impressive hat hair. “I, um, yes.”
“Are you going to be around tonight? I think my friends and I are going out.”
His shoulders droop and he frowns. “It was my birthday last week,” he says. “I promised my mom I would be home for dinner tonight. Because I didn’t see them then. She baked a cake and everything. I, uh, well…” He pauses, and I hope Lea can see how regretful he is. That he’s not making up an excuse.
“Happy birthday last week,” she says, smiling.
“Thanks,” he says, also smiling. Then he shakes out of his stupor. “We should hand in our papers.”
“Oh, yeah, duh,” Lea says, but she keeps her eyes on him an extra moment.
“No big deal. You guys are the first ones to make it in this morning,” I tell them.
They both smile, but keep shooting sidelong glances at each other as they hand me their finals.
“I hope you’re both going to take part two next semester. I think you’re great writers. I think you would benefit from the second part of this course. It’s designed with more of a workshop feel than the first part. More peer critiquing and discussion.”
Now it’s Gabe’s turn to blush. “Thank you,” he says, not looking at me.
“Thanks; I signed up,” Lea says.
“You did?” Gabe asks, turning toward her.
“Yeah.”
“I might, too,” he tells me.
“Good, then I’ll look forward to seeing you both in January.”
They leave after that, but they pause just outside the door so I get to hear a little more of their conversation.
“I am really sorry I can’t go out tonight,” he says, his voice so sheepish I can totally picture the face he’s making.
“That’s cool.”
He clears his throat. “Maybe, um, maybe some other time.”
She smiles. “Sure, I mean, the semester’s over, but there’s always next semester.”
“Yeah, or maybe I’ll see you next time Casey has a party or something. That would be … cool.” His voice is hard to make out because he’s speaking so quietly. I curse my windowless door. Although I realize I shouldn’t because I’m awfully lucky to have a window looking out to the green.
Their voices trail away down the hall.
I have a feeling there’s still a solid chance of them getting together. It’s just taking a little longer than I expected. But it’ll happen.
Maribel (Lea’s roommate)
“I want to get drunk tonight,” Bianca says resolutely as we’re walking to the bar.
“I’m pretty sure you’re well on your way there,” I say.
“Are you guys sure this is a good idea?” Lea asks for the millionth time.
“Yeah, of course. I asked around. This is the bar that never turns away fake IDs. Some of the bigger ones down the street follow the rules a lot closer, but as long as you have a decent fake, these guys just want to sell some liquor.”
“I feel like I might puke,” she says as we approach the door.
“You look like it, too,” I say.
She twists her gloved hands together nervously.
“Come on. How many times do I have to say this? I’ve already been here once, testing it out, and there were zero problems. Just don’t act so nervous.”
We walk in and the place is nearly full. It’ll be easy to get lost in the sea of faces as soon as we get past the bouncer. He barely even glances at our IDs before he waves us through. Lea smiles like someone has a gun to her back, but the guy must not be great at reading facial expressions.
We find a booth in the back, far from the bar, but quite frankly, who cares. At least we’re in.
I buy the first celebratory round and immediately notice that Gabe’s friend Casey is at the bar by himself, chatting with the bartender. I tip my chin toward him in a cool, hands-free greeting, and then head back to the girls with our drinks.
“Casey’s here,” I mutter.
“Casey as in Gabe’s Casey?” Lea asks, taking a sip through her straw.
“Yes.”
“Ah-may-zing!” Bianca says, slamming her fist on the table. “Maybe Gabe is here, too.” She starts twisting around, trying to catch sight of every last person in the bar.
“How much did you pregame?” I ask Bianca.
She gives me a look of pure crazy-eyes, which I translate to mean “a
lot.”
When she offers to go up and get the next round, I keep a close eye on her. As soon as I realize that she’s talking to Casey, Lea and I are hot on her heels. Because who knows what she might end up saying.
“I know who you are,” she’s cooing as we approach.
“Oh yeah? Who am I?”
“You’re Gabe’s friend.”
His eyes light up. “That is correct. I’m Casey.”
“I’m Bianca, it’s my birthday,” she tells him as they shake hands.
“Happy birthday!”
“It’s not her birthday,” Lea says, rolling her eyes at Casey. He grins widely but seems to want to continue to play along.
“Thank you,” Bianca says with a smile and a bat of her eyelashes. “I want to talk to you about something, but I need you to remember that it’s my birthday and that I’m drunk.”
Casey looks expectantly at Lea and me, and we both shrug at him. Lea chews her thumbnail.
“All right, I’ll bite,” he says to Bianca. He sits up straight, folds his hands on the bar, and makes a very serious face.
“Are you making fun of me?” she asks.
“Is that what you want to talk about?”
“No,” she says, leaning back and crossing her arms.
“Maybe I’m making fun of you a little,” he says.
I have to admit that I think Casey is cute. He’s like a tall leprechaun, all freckles and red hair. I have no idea when that became my type.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” he asks.
“My friend Lea here,” Bianca starts.
Lea puts her hand over her eyes and tries to pull Bianca away.
“No,” Bianca says, smacking Lea’s hand ineffectually. “Fine. I want to talk to you about your friend Gabe.”
“Okay.”
Lea looks like she might throw up.
“Is Gabe gay?”
“Wait, what?”
“Gabe. Is he a homosexual?”
“Not that I know of,” Casey says with a smirk. “I’m pretty sure he’s straight.”
“Like how sure?”
“Like he talks about … girls.” Casey’s eyes flick to Lea for a fraction of a second.
“All right,” Bianca says. “Fair enough. Thank you for participating in this random survey.” Then she bows low and walks back to our booth.
Casey shakes his head and looks between Lea and me.
“I’m Lea and this is Maribel. Though I suppose you kind of already know that. Why am I so awkward?” she asks, turning toward me. I shrug.
Casey ignores her awkwardness and shakes our hands like nothing’s weird. And like our super-drunk friend didn’t just ask him if his friend was gay.
“It’s nice to meet both of you officially. I’ll see you around?” he asks as he pulls on his coat.
“Yeah, sure,” I say. I am so lame.
“You guys come to parties at my house, right?”
“Yeah, Maribel knows a guy who knows a guy,” Lea says. In fact, her voice is so flirtatious I feel this creeping sense of jealousy at her ease around Casey. I swallow it down.
“Well, we could exchange numbers? Cut out the middle man?” He says this directly to me and I’m so busy swallowing my jealousy I almost miss the moment.
“Oh, sure!” I say, handing him my phone.
And within seconds we’re back at the booth, numbers exchanged, and Bianca’s giggling uncontrollably.
“What?”
“I’m totally not that drunk,” she says. “But I figured if I could put on a good show, we might just get the information we’ve been looking for.”
Lea shakes her head. “You’re kind of an evil genius.”
JANUARY
Casey (Gabe’s friend)
“Casey?”
“Gabe!”
“Why are you calling me?” he asks. I think I woke him up.
“Because I’m away at my grandma’s for another couple of days but I have something very important to tell you and every text I composed just didn’t come out right.”
“Okay…” he says, his voice more awake now, but a lot more cautious.
“So, I saw Lea and all of her friends at the bar the last night of the semester.”
“All right.”
“One of them, Bianca, she was like out-of-her-mind drunk. And Lea and her roommate, Maribel, were obviously trying to keep her in check.”
“I feel like this is a horror story. That’s how scared I am right now.”
“Don’t be scared!”
“That doesn’t help.”
“It was just one little thing. Bianca asked if you were gay.” I say it fast, like ripping off a Band-Aid.
“Oh,” he breathes. “Oh. Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Huh.”
“Are you okay over there?” I ask after a long minute.
“I’m fine. This explains a lot.”
“Such as?”
“Well, Lea usually seems mostly happy to see me. And then we’ll start to talk or whatever and she gets sort of sad looking, like she remembers some unpleasant fact. And I kept thinking it was something I wrote she didn’t like, or I don’t even know. Something she heard about me. So it would make sense if she thought I was gay.”
“I made sure to tell her you’re not gay.”
“Thanks. I mean, I’m not offended.”
“Good.”
“This just makes so much sense!” he cries, his voice lighter and happier.
“Glad I could help.”
“I’m gonna go now. Because I detest talking on the phone. But good work, Casey.”
“Thanks, man. I try.”
Danny (Lea’s friend)
Lea has requested to meet up with me during winter break. This isn’t odd. Lea and I used to hang out all the time. What was odd was the formal nature of her text message.
At her request, I meet her at the diner in our hometown at noon on the Monday after New Year’s.
“Hello, Daniel,” she says, already seated in a booth.
“Hello, Azalea.” I fold my hands, mirroring her serious posture.
“I’ve taken the liberty of ordering you disco fries because I have some bad news.”
“What?”
“Gabe Cabrera is not a homosexual.”
“Oh no,” I say.
She nods. “Oh yes.”
I put my head in my hands. I know I’m being dramatic, in part because I really am sad about this, but mostly to go along with Lea’s dramatic reveal.
She pats my hand.
I sit up. “So, you gonna go for it?”
“Yes.”
“Awesome. He’s the most amazing and perfect and precious boy on the planet and you need to be with him if I can’t.”
“Thanks, Danny.”
“So how did you find out?”
“Bianca pretended to be drunk on the last night of the semester and she stumbled up to his friend Casey and just flat out asked if Gabe liked girls.”
I shake my head. “Genius. You girls are geniuses.”
“I’d like to tell you I was in on the plan. I’m not sure Bianca was even in on her own plan until it was actually happening. I mean, there’s no way she knew that Casey would be alone at that bar at that particular time.”
I nod and then a thought hits me. “I take it the IDs worked well?”
“They did! Though I don’t know, I feel like something gets lost in translation by not waiting until you’re twenty-one.” She shrugs. “I’m not sure how often I’ll use mine.”
“You know, that makes a lot of sense to me.”
Two plates of disco fries are served and we dig in.
“I am sorry about Gabe,” she says.
“It’s not your fault he likes girls. It’s not like you’re so amazing you turned him straight or something.”
She laughs.
“I really thought he was gay though. I had no idea I could be so off. Maybe he’s a little bi? Or pansexual?”
“Probably not,” she says, smiling.
“Bi-curious? Maybe a little?”
“I’ll try to find out for you,” she promises, patting my hand.
“And I’ll help you woo him,” I say with a wink.
Sam (Gabe’s brother)
Gabe’s sitting on a bench outside the library when I come out of work the first day everyone’s back on campus for the spring semester. I’m going to miss the quiet of winter break.
“Hey,” I say, kicking the bottom of his sneaker when he doesn’t look up from his book.
“Oh, hi.”
“What’s up?”
“You wanna go to the dining hall with me?”
“I can’t, I have a baseball meeting.”
“Never thought I’d be jealous of a baseball meeting. Guess everyone else is busy, too, then.”
“Yeah, but I’ll walk with you in that direction?”
“Sure.”
“Is that why you were stalking me? Because you didn’t want to eat dinner alone?”
He shrugs. “Mom said you were working. Figured it couldn’t hurt.”
“Sorry about that.”
“No big deal. I guess I just got used to being home over break. And my dorm room is tiny and quiet and…” He trails off and shakes his head. “I don’t know. It’s dumb.”
I bump our shoulders together. “It’s not dumb. You just really love your big brother.”
“Sure, something like that.”
We meander in silence for a few minutes, people walking fast all around us, probably because it’s brutally cold outside. But Gabe’s taking his time.
“Do you know of anyone who’s hiring?”
“You need money?” I ask.
“Of course I need money. I mean, the advisor position is great because it gives me a place to live, but there’s no cash involved. I pretty much live on dining hall meals and Starbucks gift cards from Aunt Kate.”
“What’s the deal with those? Why does she think we like Starbucks so much?”
“I don’t know. But seeing as how I have no money they might come in handy. Like if I wanted to ask someone on a date, or something, I could at least take her to Starbucks.”
“Are you going to ask Lea out?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know how realistic that idea is. But it’s something I think about.”
“So,” I say. “You know, if you need money, I think the library’s hiring. It’s clean, climate controlled, you never smell like grease or old milk.”