She wasn’t going to last long. She knew that. Wasn’t going to get far.
But she could not die in a pool of her own blood.
Didn’t want to die in a bathroom.
On her hands and knees she almost crumbled. Sweat poured from her body. She was so hot. Dying.
No.
She wasn’t supposed to die. Had her father told her that?
With one hand she grasped for the edge of the sink. Pulled herself up and lunged for the doorknob to hold herself up on the other side while she tried to climb on the garden tub and get to the window. She could break it by putting her fist through it.
One more cut wasn’t going to matter.
Her sticky, wet—was that blood—hand got to the knob. But it didn’t hold her steady as she’d thought it would.
As it should have.
As she’d expected.
It moved. Turned as her weight fell against it. And the door.
They moved in unison, she and that hard wooden door.
He hadn’t locked it.
* * *
MAX HAD NO idea how many people cased those four neighborhoods. Dozens. Maybe more.
He didn’t slow down enough to make eye contact or exchange words with anyone. He was going to find Meri.
House after house received his thundering footsteps, his brusque knock, his hurried questions and piercing gaze, and then he was gone. Off to the next.
For every house where someone didn’t answer the door, he called over an officer to investigate. And then he moved on.
I will find you, Meri. The mantra was all he knew. He remembered making the promise to her once before, in person, when she’d been having a particularly hard day.
She’d been pregnant, as he remembered it. And scared to death that Steve was close by. That he was going to come steal her away from Max.
He’d held her in his arms. Loving her for all he was worth. So certain that all they were dealing with was post-traumatic stress. A medical issue, really. Right up his alley.
He’d whispered a lot of words to her that afternoon.
She’d ask what-if and he’d have an answer.
I will find you, Meri.
He finished one street and moved to the next. And the next.
I will find you.
What he found, as he turned a corner, was a mass of people rushing down the street.
Panic consumed him. He’d seen this scene before. A street. People rushing to the scene. A pool of blood. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe.
And then he could. He was a doctor. If anyone was in trouble he could help. Because life was about everyone helping everyone else.
He’d heard the words from his cradle, from a mother who was older than all the other mothers, and so much wiser.
A mother who’d imparted her wisdom to her baby before he’d been old enough to form the words that would let her know that he was taking it all in. Every single word.
Into his mind and his heart. Into his soul.
With more strength than any one man could possibly have, Max tore up the street and pushed through the moving crowd to the front of the pack. He had to assess the situation to know how to help.
Breaking through the front edge of rushing people, he was only a couple of yards away from their target when he saw her.
A stumbling, bruised and bleeding woman. Arms outstretched.
Calling his name.
* * *
THE SKY WAS black as night as Max paced outside the private exam room where they’d taken Meri as soon as they’d reached the hospital.
He’d done what he could for her on the ride over in the ambulance, started an IV, ordered blood, patched up the worst of her wounds, splinted fingers that were obviously broken. But he’d had no way of knowing what other bones were broken, or what internal damage had been done.
And she couldn’t tell him.
The second she’d run into his arms out on the street two hours before, she’d passed out and hadn’t regained consciousness.
“Her pulse was good.”
Coming up behind him, Chantel offered the cup of coffee she’d gone to collect.
“That’s right.”
“She’s young and she’s got good reason to live.”
He’d told her that, too. And he nodded.
“She’s not going to die, Max, you know that,” Chantel said now, giving him a sideways look as she joined him as he paced the hallway. To and fro. To and fro. “She got herself to you, though after seeing the scene, God knows how. But she did. She came to find you. You were calling to her. She has plenty to live for.”
Chantel was a beautiful woman. And a good friend. “You do, too, Chantel. What you did for me. You’re... I... We owe you.”
“Is that an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner?” she asked him with a smile that wasn’t at all sad.
“I think it was.”
“Then I accept. I’m looking forward to getting to know this woman who inspired such faith in you.”
He didn’t know what to say to that.
“It amazes me, you know? How much you believed in her. You just knew....”
Shrugging, he said the only thing that came to his mind. “I guess that’s what love does to you.”
“Yeah, well, watching you...I think that I never knew what love was before. I’ve never felt like that...so sure....”
“Your time will come. If you let it....”
She started to say something, but didn’t get a chance.
“Max?”
Turning on his heel, Max spun around. “Yeah, Ben....”
The doctor was pulling off his surgical gloves. “She’s going to be fine,” he said. “I wanted you to know immediately.”
“She is?” There were a million medical questions he should be asking, but he couldn’t think of anything but Meri’s sweet smile.
“She’s a very lucky woman.”
He’d said those same words himself, about a child who’d been in an accident and survived in spite of the odds, one who’d come through a surgery better than expected....
“She’ll be sore for a while, of course. She’s got a broken rib, which I’ve taped, but I could see from the X-rays that it wasn’t the first one or even the first time for that one. Someone said the man who did this to her is in custody.”
Ben asked to be called to testify. He rattled off specific medical diagnoses for each of Meri’s seventeen specific injuries. And then he said, “But there was no internal damage. I don’t see how....”
He paused. And the grin on the other doctor’s face seemed to be mixed with a bit of emotion, too, when he said, “We were able to save the baby, Max. She’ll need extra bed rest for the rest of the first trimester. And maybe throughout the pregnancy. The placenta was damaged. But not alarmingly so....”
“B-b...” Max shook his head, foggy headed, a bit unsteady—all things he recognized as symptoms of shock. “Did you say baby?”
“You didn’t know she was pregnant?”
“As far as I’m aware, Meri didn’t even know. We’ve been trying for a second child for a while, but it was taking longer than it did with Caleb....”
He was blubbering. Just like any other husband or father. And he grinned. “Is she awake? Can I see her?”
“She’s asking for you.”
“Did you tell her about the baby?”
“I thought she knew. I wanted to assure her that all was well.”
“What did she say?”
“I just told you, she asked for you.”
“Go to her, Max. I’ll see you at home later,” Chantel said. Bailey was picking her up and Chantel was leaving her car for Max.
Chantel’s and Ben’s grin
s followed him into the rest of life.
* * *
MEREDITH DIDN’T REMEMBER much about the day she’d faced her demon and won. Not even the part before she’d been beaten.
It was all a hazy nightmare that ended when Max was there with open arms, catching her as she fell.
And she knew, over the next few days in the hospital, and then at home, with Caleb so careful and sweet as he climbed up next to her in the recliner, with Max never more than a foot away from her, that she’d finally, for the first time since she’d been a twelve-year-old kid standing on the side of the highway, completely and fully woken up from her nightmare.
“You guys ready?” she asked, standing up slowly as she slid from the van and supervised as Max unbuckled Caleb from his car seat and helped him down.
They were both dressed in black suits—Caleb an exact replica of his father—with light purple shirts, dark purple ties, and deep purple high-top tennis shoes.
“You promised you’d tell me the second you start to feel tired,” Max said, one hand holding on to their son’s and the other arm around her waist as they started slowly moving forward.
“The doctor said I’m fine, Max,” she reminded him. “I’ve even been cleared to go back to work.”
“Part time. And only as long as I drive you.”
“Only for another week. Six weeks he said. And it’s been five.”
“Are you forgetting that I’m a doctor, too?”
“No.” That was all she said. Because she trusted that it was all she’d have to say.
“I’m doing it again, huh?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll get better, Meri, I swear. I will not smother you with my overprotectiveness. It’s just...when I thought I’d lost you....”
“Sshhh.” Stopping in the private parking lot, she put a finger to his lips. “Don’t ever, ever apologize for loving me, Max. Or for taking care of me. Because I can promise you, I’m going to spend the rest of my life protecting, loving and caring for you and Caleb, and whoever our new little one turns out to be.”
“Ma...sit....” Caleb pulled at Meredith’s hand.
“Mama doesn’t have to sit, Caleb,” she said, wishing she could bend down to him like she used to be able to. And would be able to do again. She’d pick him up and hold him on her hip. She’d carry him.
For now, she was content to change his diaper one-handed. For another week, until the cast on her hand came off.
They had to go in. Lila was expecting them. And she hoped, Renee, too. She’d asked Lila to see if Renee was free that Sunday evening to meet Max and Caleb.
They’d just come from having a family photo done because while she’d been away for those weeks it had dawned on her that they’d never had a professional family photo taken and she’d been afraid that had been a sign that Max and Caleb weren’t meant to be her family.
She’d taken care of that one. As soon as Max had asked her what she wanted to do on her first day out and about.
And bringing the two of them here, on this very special visit to The Lemonade Stand had been the second.
It wasn’t often that husbands were welcome inside the shelter’s walls.
But Max was a very special husband. A very special man. And Meredith wanted her friends to know that men like Max really did exist.
“Ma...ady.” Ady? Caleb had so many new words that Meredith was having a hard time keeping up with them. But he was pointing. And she understood. Lila was there, standing in the open gate.
“Yes, Caleb, that is very much a true lady,” she said, and with slow steps and her husband’s support at her back, she moved her small family forward.
“Surprise!”
One voice, one body, jumped out at them. A very pregnant Maddie Bishop, all dressed up in a pretty blue maternity dress and matching shoes, with a bow in her blond hair.
Beyond that, Meredith didn’t have time to assess everyone as they came up to the gate and a chorus of voices, more voices than she could determine or count called, “Surprise!”
She caught a glimpse of the immaculate, flower-filled grounds just beyond the gate and stopped. Pink and blue ribbons floated from trees. At least twenty tables, each with about ten chairs arranged around them were set up in rows and each one was decorated with a white tablecloth and a pink-and-blue flower arrangement. The chairs all had balloons tied to them.
Turning, she looked up at Max, and said, “You knew about this.” Just as Lila bent down to Caleb, “You must be Caleb,” she said. “Would you like to come with me?”
The little boy didn’t answer immediately. His hesitation obvious, he looked up at his parents, who looked at each other.
Lila waited patiently for his answer, a serene, comforting look on her face.
“Go ahead, buddy,” Max said.
“I’ll bet Lila has some fun games for you to play, Caleb,” Meredith added. “Go ahead, sweetie. Mommy and Daddy will be right here.”
Caleb grinned and seemed to be strutting as he walked away with Lila.
“So, this is Max.” Renee appeared in the opening of the gate then. And Maddie said, “Would you like me to help Lila with Caleb, Jenna?”
Jenna.
She felt the small touch as Max reacted to Maddie’s words. “Yes, Maddie, I would love that,” she said, and turned to introduce her husband to Renee—and then to Carly and Latoya. And many of the other women she’d had the pleasure of getting to know during one of the absolute worst times of her life.
It wasn’t easy, living with the aftermath of domestic abuse. There were parts of Meredith that would never be what they once were. She was wiser. Less naive. Her innocence was gone.
She was aware of a depth of pain, mental, emotional and physical, that many people would never understand.
“I love you, sweetheart,” Max whispered in her ear as she sat with him at the head table and listened while one after another of the residents stopped by and told her that they’d been praying for her, that it was so good to see her, and that she was an inspiration to them.
“I love you, too,” she told Max. And stood up.
Lila had used a microphone earlier, and now Meredith picked it up.
“Excuse me,” she said and waited until she had everyone’s attention. “First off, I want to thank you....” She stopped, started to cry, got herself under control, and then continued, looking at Max, “We want to thank you.” His smile was warm. Tender. Imbued with an emotion she fully understood, a very private message to her that would be with her forever, in this life and beyond. And for her alone.
Someone coughed.
“Sorry,” Meredith said, trying to smile, but not doing such a great job of it. What she had to say was extremely important.
“Ladies, apparently I am the guest of honor at this party because I’m having a baby....” She broke off as the yard filled with cheers and applause. “But!” She held up a hand. “But...” she said again. “I am not the heroine of anyone’s story. I made a very, very serious mistake, my sisters. I almost paid with my life.”
She searched the crowd. Looking for one face. Not knowing if it was out there or not.
“I was offered help,” she said, still searching. “I had the chance to trust. And I didn’t do it. I thought I could handle my situation on my own. I was certain I had to. Because....” She paused again. Swallowed back the tears. “Because I was so certain I’d done all of my work, that I was cured and my only problem was the fact that my abuser wouldn’t leave me alone. I felt like the system had let me down. Counseling and shelters had let me down. And I was so, so wrong. I wasn’t healed. I was as much a victim of Steve Smith’s abuse while I was here among you, as I was during all those years he hunted me. Because he made me believe that I was all alone. He had me so deeply manipulated that I felt like I was a
lone when I was sleeping next to the man I love with all my heart.” She looked at Max, whose expression was filled with an emotion and strength she would never forget. “I felt alone no matter where I was. Even when I was here with you all, especially when I was here with you all, I felt alone.”
She broke off and searched the crowd again.
“But I wasn’t alone. And one woman showed me that. Without counseling. Without knowing my story or giving me any advice, she somehow managed to show me, with the help of each and every one of you, that I wasn’t alone at all.
“And when I lay on that bathroom floor...dying....” She stopped. Waited until she could speak again, and focused on the trees in the distance, the ones that lined the Garden of Renewal. “That one face was there,” she continued. “And the voice. It was in my head. I can’t tell you what it said. It was drowned out by my husband’s,” she said with complete honesty and a grin toward Max, and the entire crowd laughed through their tears. “What I’m trying to say is you aren’t alone. Please, please, if I am to be any kind of example, let it be an example of what not to do. Don’t ever think you have to face your abuser alone.”
She glanced at Max, and snippets from every one of the late night talks they’d shared over the past five weeks floated in and out of her mind.
“You can’t have Max, he’s mine,” she said, pausing while everyone laughed again. “But there is always someone. Someone who’s been there. Someone who understands. Who knows exactly how the pain feels, whether it be mental, emotional or physical. Find that someone, my sisters, each and every time you are struggling, anytime you feel alone, most certainly anytime you think you have to handle something on your own, find that someone. I guarantee you, she’s there.”
As she said the last words, a movement by the Garden caught her eye. And she saw the woman she’d been seeking. She was coming out of the Garden, but as her face turned toward her, Meredith knew that Lila had heard every word she’d said.
And knew she’d been talking about her.
* * *
“WOULD IT BE crass to say that I miss having sex with my wife?” Max half groaned the words as he lay next to Meredith in their bed that Sunday night. He was admittedly a little full of himself.
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