by Vivian Ward
“He called me. It was around four in the morning. I was tired,” he shakes his head, apparently aggravated. “Still sleeping because I had to get up and go into the office at 8 AM. I almost didn’t answer it, but something told me that I should.” He stops talking, and I watch the Adam’s apple in his throat bob as he tries to choke down his emotion. “Damn it, Joline!” he punches the tree that we’re standing in front of. “When I found him in the parking garage at the casino that night, it looked like a damned pit bull mauled his face. It was so mangled. So bloody.”
As much as I don’t want to, I can picture Zack’s face with gashes and blood covering the entire surface. I’ve seen it happen to other guys before. I close the eyes and force the image out of my head. It’s too difficult to even think about, let alone picture.
“They did it because they caught him cheating the house, didn’t they?” I ask. I already know the answer because I am familiar with it.
When I worked as a card dealer at the casino in Vegas, I hated it when they busted someone who was cheating the house. I hated it even more when I had to get security because my table had already lost more money than I wanted to admit to. I’d seen the guys leaving. A wrecked mess. Teeth missing. Black eyes. Bloody faces. Bruised egos. I knew all too well what he was talking about.
He nods, confirming that I’m right.
“He swore to me that he was done. He was going to quit right then and there. Never look back.” He laughs, mocking the words almost as soon as they leave his mouth. “Now he just does it underground. There are no cameras, but the risks are much more dangerous. The casinos won’t kill you. They’ll beat the shit out of you, but you’ll get to leave alive. But these guys? The ones he’s fucking around with? They’ll kill you in a heartbeat.”
They will. I know they will. When you’ve worked in a casino for as long as I did, you hear the horror stories of what happens to cheaters. How they’ll risk everything and anything. You also hear the stories about the pit bosses and what they do to these guys. It’s their job.
A hired hand to beat you according to the severity in which you cheated the house. They catch you early on in your winning streak, and you’ll leave with a busted nose or maybe a broken finger or two. If you get caught cheating after a lot of time or money? You’ll have a mangled face and won’t be able to eat for weeks or have broken ribs so you can barely suck in air.
Underground guys? Private security? These are trained professionals who might kill you and dump your body in an alley behind a dirty whorehouse.
“And he’s back to doing it and you’re worried about him, aren’t you?” I ask, slowly stroking his cheek with the back of my hand. I know that they fight like brothers, but they also love each other like brothers. I know I can see love in his eyes as he speaks about the fear he has for his brother’s life.
I am suddenly scared for his brother’s life as well. Playing around like that can make people disappear without a trace on this earth. No one will ever find your body if they don’t want them to. They have ways of doing that if they want to.
Shivering at the thought of what could and might happen to Zack, I feel the warmth of Trent’s arm envelope me as we stand beneath the tree in the park. I look up at the sky and start counting the stars in the sky to keep my mind from thinking about all the bad things that could possibly happen to Zack.
“I’m sorry,” he says as my body quivers next to him. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m just worried about my brother.”
“It’s okay. I’m worried about him, too. He’s always been my friend, and I’ve always kind of worried about him. He’s got that whole dangerous thing kind of going on. Always has.”
“Come on,” he pulls me closer to him. “Let’s grab some coffee and a piece of pie.”
I look at him, and then to my watch. It’s nearly midnight.
“You still like that greasy spoon diner off of Manchester?” he asks.
“Yes! Do you remember every place I’ve ever eaten?”
“I do. It’s hard to forget where some of your favorite memories happened.”
By the end of our first date, I feel closer to Trent than I ever have before, and it makes me feel good. The way he puts his arm around me holds me at just the right moments to make me feel safe, and the way he confides his darkest worries with me lets me know that he cares. He cares about his brother, and he still cares about me.
Why did I wait so long to give it a try?
He is safe, careful and practical.
“Here we are,” he pulls up in front of my house. “I had a great time with you.”
“Me too,” I admit.
And I’m being honest. Even though we talked a great deal about Zack, it somehow brought Trent and me closer than we had been in years. Maybe it’s because we both share a love for him that neither of us has ever spoken about. “I still don’t know why you had me dress up in this,” I wave my hand down the length of my body. “Was it even necessary?”
We saw a play and then took a stroll in the park before heading to the diner.
He takes my hand in his and pulls it up to his mouth, kissing it. “Yes, it was. I wanted to have eye candy and arm candy, and in that, you crushed it. You look so amazing tonight.”
Blushing, I bring my hand up to my neck and rub it. “Thanks,” I say with my eyes fixated on my matching pumps.
“No,” he lets go of my hand and touches the tip of my chin, willing me to look at him. “Thank you. I had a great time tonight, and I want to do it again. And again. If you’ll let me.”
The car feels hotter than before, and I realize that it’s the heat intensifying within the core of my body and suddenly, I want to jump out of the car.
I’m not sure if I’m ready to take that next step.
I look at the living room window and see that the light is on. My dad’s waiting up for me.
“Yes, I will go out with you again. Tonight was really nice, but I better get going in,” I nod towards the window with the light on downstairs. “He’s waiting up for me. I think he’s lonely.”
“Joline?” he grabs hold of my elbow, stopping me before I can fully turn to open the car door.
Our eyes meet and for a minute, time doesn’t exist. His eyes look deep into my soul, and they see something because I can see its reflection—whatever it is—in his eyes also. Slowly, our faces lean in towards one another, and his soft, warm lips press against mine in a sweet, tender kiss like he’s imprinting himself on me somehow.
With my eyes closed, I focus on his scent as we kiss. He smells clean, rich, and luxurious. It’s delightful and manly. His breath is warm on my face, and even though there’s plenty of oxygen in the car, I feel like someone is squeezing my lungs, suffocating me. Finally, I break our embrace and gently push him away.
“I had better get going,” I say, our eyes still scanning each other’s souls, looking for something more meaningful than life’s darkest secrets.
What has he done to me? How can he have this effect on me?
Lying in my bed, I stare at the dark shadows of the night dancing on my ceiling and reflect on my date with Trent. It was so intimate, yet no sex happened. Just a kiss. One beautiful, perfect kiss from a wonderful man. My heart skips a beat as I think about him and I feel the wetness between my legs.
Reaching down, I touch myself there. Wetness. It’s covering my fingers, and I imagine for a moment that it’s his fingers touching me. Circling my clit, I rub myself while my free hand pinches my nipple. I can’t tell which is harder: my pebbled nipple that’s stinging between my fingers or my hard, throbbing, swollen clit.
Harder and faster, I rub myself into oblivion as I imagine and wish it was him.
I’m dying for his touch.
Oh, Trent. Why did I send him away? It’s been so long since I’ve been intimate with anyone.
The make-out session in his car during that first date didn’t help my pent up sexual frustration. That was all done out of lust after a lot of wine during a bus
iness dinner that was supposed to be professional. Tonight we both had our wits about us and no alcohol. Our second date was much more romantic and meaningful, which turns me on that much more.
After bringing myself to a euphoric orgasm, I’m finally satisfied. But I feel so empty inside. Empty and alone. I look at the lonely spot next to me in bed and wish that his strong, warm body was next to me, snuggling me to sleep. Instead, I place my body pillow next to me and cuddle it to sleep.
When I awake, he’s the first thing on my mind, and I can’t stop smiling. Picking up my cell phone, I see a text message. It’s him.
“Good morning, precious. I couldn’t stop thinking about you last night. Hope your day is as gorgeous as you are.”
Sighing, a sweet smile tugs at the corners of my lips as I look at the beaming sunlight that’s spilling into my room through my curtains. I’m so glad to be back home.
Chapter 6
Present
Watching the two of them is doing something to me. Something about it turns me on. Part of me wants to tell them to stop, but I can’t. Taking another sip of my alcohol, I don’t mind when Zack’s other hand dips down to my thigh. He’s dangerously close to feeling my wetness.
“Joline. Did you hear me?” Trent says. “Let me take you home.”
His voice is firm, but I still want to stay and have some fun. I’m not ready to go home. My closest friend just got married, and I haven’t seen Zack in ages. I need a break. I want to decompress. Even if only for a night.
And I believe Zack is the escape that I need right now.
He’s always been carefree, fun, and has taken risks. For a night, I don’t want to stop what I’m doing, go home, and watch another boring movie or search for jobs that aren’t there.
I’ve been searching for a job ever since I came home and still haven’t found anything. I even went to a temp agency, hoping to fill a spot somewhere. Long-term.
They said that they could place me in an attorney’s office while his secretary was out on maternity leave, but the job would only last two weeks as the temp who was filling it quit on short notice. I need more than two weeks. I need serious cash.
Yes, Trent will buy me anything I’d like or ask him to, but I’m not a freeloader. I’ve always worked for and earned everything I’ve ever had. Today is no different than yesterday, or last week, or last month, or last year. It feels better to earn my own money.
Before my mom died, she taught me that a woman should never let a man control her with money. It’s better to earn your own and take care of yourself. If you can do that, you’ll never have to rely on anyone. You’ll be independent and will have your own freedom. She told me that you can set yourself free in anything that you do if you put your mind to it.
Besides, I would rather skim by than have a man say I owe him anything, but mostly, I’d prefer to earn money and take care of myself just like my mom taught me.
“You know what? I feel like dancing,” I say, standing up from my seat.
Trent means well, but sometimes he can be controlling. I think it’s part of his personality, being a businessman and running so many successful businesses, but I’m not having it tonight. All of the stress has gotten to me, and with Zack by my side, I feel like I can finally break out of my shell and feel more confident while letting my hair down.
Like old times.
I hold out my hand to Zack, who is grinning up at me. I feel like I’m floating. Maybe it’s the room that’s still spinning, or maybe I’m floating in the beautiful sea of his eyes.
“I’ll do the honors,” he reaches for my hand.
“No! No, you won’t.” Trent’s hand has a firm grip on my elbow, and he’s not letting go. His fingers are pressed into my skin. For a moment, I think I can feel his hands trembling. “If she wants to dance, I’ll take her.”
I stare at the two of them, waiting to see which one will cry Uncle. Zack stands, puffing his chest out at his brother as only a few inches of air separates their bodies. I can hardly see any light between them. They look like they might break out into a brawl at any moment.
“Let her choose,” Zack says. His hands are at his sides, balled up into fists and his knuckles are turning ghostly white.
“Zachary, I can promise you this. You will never have a permanent spot in her life. Not like I do.”
Leading me out onto the dance floor, away from his brother, Trent holds me close to him as he darts an icy glare at Zack. It’s odd how I can feel the warmth of his body, yet, he’s so cold toward his own family. We dance through one song before he finally steps back and puts some space between us.
“I’m going to get my keys and then I’ll take you out to the car. Will you be all right if I leave you resting here for a minute?” he asks.
“Yes, I’ll be fine.”
I begin to think about how different, yet similar, the two of them are. They’re both equally sexy and attractive but in different ways. They are both charming, yet in their own way.
I’m still not sure how Trent got me to start casually dating him. I think it was his charm combined with my loneliness. When I first came home, I was afraid I’d become dad’s new best friend. His tag along. I didn’t want to do that. I want to be young, live my life and have some fun.
My fun has been much different than what I imagined it to be. I think my expectations were a bit skewed before I came back home. All of my friends have grown up and gotten married. The days of clubbing and partying are over for most of them as they’ve settled down, had babies and started families.
Maybe that’s why I’ve gravitated toward Trent. He showed an interest in me. He always has, but so has Zack. The difference is that Trent has been here while Zack hasn’t.
And we’ve definitely had some fun. Visions start to cloud my mind, and before I know it, I’m daydreaming about him again. I do that quite often. Minutes tick by, and I begin to wonder if Trent is ever coming back.
Then I see him. Zack.
The same lush, vibrant eyes that pulled me in while I was standing at the altar beside my closest friend, Karli. They sparkle even more brilliantly up close.
“Come with me,” Zack says with a sly smile on his face. His warm, sweet breath on my face, on my neck, it’s everywhere. He’s so close to me that his lip barely grazes my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.
I can’t move.
I can’t breathe.
I’ve had a few too many drinks, and I know that I shouldn’t, but I can’t help myself. Ever since I got back I wanted to see him, and now he’s here and damn, he’s even sexier than I remember. Towering over me, I realize how huge he is. Broad. Wide. Strong. I can see his muscles through his shirt.
The first few buttons of his shirt are still unbuttoned, accentuating his tanned, muscular chest and I can’t look away. It’s like the sun blinding me and even though I want to, I can’t turn my head away from him.
But there’s one problem. My moral compass is spinning uncontrollably.
Trent and I have been casually dating for the last three months.
His arm outstretches, and he takes my hand in his. His hands are so warm and so smooth, just like him. If it were anyone else, I would never ever go with them, but for him, I’ll go.
Standing from my seat, I begin to wobble, but his arm wraps firmly around my waist, catching me before I can fall. Pulling me closer to him, I can smell sex, manliness, and raw, primal want on him. Without uttering another word, he whisks me away, and we slip out the back door.
I glimpse over my shoulder, and for a second, I think I see Trent searching for me, but I can’t tell. It only takes a few seconds before I’m cloaked in darkness with the only light coming from the moon above us. We’re gone, and now I’m all alone with Zack.
Gorgeous, delightful Zack. The bad boy.
Chapter 7
Past
How many dates have we been on?
The question plagues my mind as I apply some lip gloss to my plump lips and smack them together to
give them an even coat.
It’s hard to say how many dates we’ve been on exactly. With all of the luncheons, the dinner dates, the walks in the park, and the time he took me out on his company boat have all been fun, but I lost count. It seems like we spend almost every day together, but it’s really not.
Today is special because we are going to a carnival and I’m so excited. Butterflies are stirring deep within me; though, I’m not sure if it’s from the excitement of riding rides that always scare me, yet give me a rush at the same time, or if it’s because I know I’m about to spend another wonderful afternoon with Trent.
We always have so much fun together, and I know that today will be no different. I check myself once more in the mirror and carefully study the cute girl staring back at me.
Hair is neatly in place, check.
Lip gloss and mascara look amazing, check.
Short, tight shorts to show off that booty he loves so much, big fat check!
Trent always tells me what an amazing ass I have. I largely contribute that to my mom’s side of the family and thank the Lord above for what he blessed me with. This hot honey would rather have a big booty than a deflated pancake.
When I open the door, his eyes widen as he drinks in my appearance and a look of awe spreads across his handsome face. The sunlight is hitting him just right at this moment, he looks like an angel sent from heaven.
“Joline, you look amazing!”
“Let me slip on my sandals and I’ll be ready.”
He walks in and says hello to my dad who absolutely adores him to death, but doesn’t hear him.
“Sorry, he’s sleeping. I probably should have told you that when you walked in. He sleeps like a log and doesn’t hear a thing.”
“Oh,” he whispers. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. You didn’t wake him. Come, let’s go,” I reach out and take his hand in mine as we make our way to the door.
My dad tells Trent how much he wants grandbabies every chance he gets. When we’re in private, my dad always tells me how he’d love to see the two of us get married. I know he wants to see me happy and have a stable future, but I’m not so sure that I’m quite there yet.