Something Blue
Page 6
“You’re gay?” Max asked without thinking first. He had no reason to think she wasn’t, but no reason to think she was, either.
“Bi, but close enough.” Kelsey smiled. “My wife is a real lesbian.”
Connor laughed at that, giving Max space to process and try not to beat himself up for the stupid question.
“Do you have a picture?” Connor asked. “Of your wife, I mean.”
Kelsey grinned, taking her phone out of her pocket and turning it around for Connor to see the lock screen. On it was a picture of what looked like their wedding day.
They looked so damned happy that Max couldn’t help smiling.
“You’re adorable,” Connor said. “I hope we look that good when we get married. How long ago was that?”
“Little over three months,” Kelsey said. “I’m still glowing.”
“You are,” Max said, in awe of the way Kelsey’s face lit up when she talked about her wife.
He’d never felt like that about anyone, but he wanted to someday.
Kelsey grinned, strapping her tripod to the side of her backpack. “I’ll let you guys go. Thanks for being awesome.”
“Thank you for being awesome,” Connor said letting go of Max’s hand before, standing and heading for the door.
Max immediately missed the touch, his hand suddenly cold in the absence of Connor’s. He watched Connor let Kelsey out, his mind still swirling with everything that’d happened over the last twenty minutes.
Connor kissed him. That was the big, double-underlined thought in his head.
Under it, in smaller writing, was Connor held his hand, and it was nice.
Neither of those things were thoughts Max wanted to deal with right now. They were supposed to be cooperating to win a competition.
Max didn’t need to freak himself out over whether or not Connor was attracted to him. That was the last thing either of them needed.
“I’m so sorry about kissing you,” Connor said as he came back to the couch.
“It’s fine,” Max said. “Seriously.”
It wasn’t fine, but that also wasn’t Connor’s fault. It was Max’s reaction that was making it difficult.
He wanted to kiss Connor again. Just to see. To see what it’d be like if he didn’t feel like he had to, if he wasn’t terrified.
Which made this the second time he’d wanted to kiss Connor. Once was a stray thought, twice…
Twice was the beginning of a pattern.
What the hell did that mean?
“It’s not fine,” Connor said, as though he could read Max’s mind. “But between doing it and blowing our cover, I figured it was the better option.”
“It was,” Max agreed. That was definitely true.
Besides, it didn’t matter whether or not he wanted to kiss Connor. He’d be gone in a few weeks, when they’d won this competition and he could go back to his life, like he said.
“And I think it’s given us a better shot of winning. We’re both cute. People will like us.” Connor grinned. “And Kelsey was right, about your sister. I can send through the details if you want. If you’re nervous.”
Max shook his head, taking the card she’d left on the table for them. “I’ll do it. I promised myself at the beginning that I’d do anything for Zoe.”
“Including kiss me?” Connor raised an eyebrow.
“Not the worst thing I’ve done,” Max admitted, taking the ring Connor had given him off and holding it out to him. “Thanks for this. Looks like you chose well.”
“Keep it,” Connor said, pushing Max’s hand back toward his chest. “Consider it a gift. Sell if after the wedding if you want, but it’s not worth much.”
Max hesitated, but then closed his hand around the ring again. “Thanks,” he said softly, standing up and tucking it safely in his pocket. “So uh… coffee?”
“Please.” Connor beamed up at him. “You’re a good fiancé.”
“I’m a good barista,” Max corrected. “And I can tell your shoe size just by looking at you.”
Connor raised an eyebrow.
“Ten,” Max said.
Connor’s mouth fell open.
Max grinned. “Years of working in a bowling alley. I know a lot about shoe sizes.”
“You’re a man of hidden depths,” Connor said, sitting back and taking his laptop out.
He looked happy, completely unaffected by everything that had just happened.
Max swallowed, turning his attention to the coffee machine, and away from how tempting Connor’s lips looked.
Chapter Eleven
Connor looked around the empty bookstore, surprised to see no one else in it at this time of day. He rarely had the place to himself for long, and usually not around noon, when everyone came in for their lunch-hour coffee and browse through the shelves.
A sound at the back caught Connor’s attention, and he looked up to see Max walk through the door from the storeroom, a stack of books piled up high in his arms, blocking his view.
“I’ll be there in a second,” Max said. “Take a seat if you want.”
“It’s only me,” Connor responded. “Do you need a hand with that?”
“Oh.” Max set the stack down on top of another stack. “Uh, no, I’m okay. I can stop and make you a coffee if you want?”
Connor shook his head. “You look busy, and I was only coming in to ask if you were free to come over Saturday night. I know you said the wedding is up to me, but… I’d like your approval on a few things. If you’re free. And you want to come. I’ll make dinner.”
Max smiled at that. “Well, if you’re making dinner…”
Connor breathed a sigh of relief. He was glad Max was getting comfortable with him now.
Especially since he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about kissing him. Part of him felt guilty for doing it at all, since he hadn’t given Max a choice in the matter, but the rest of him…
The rest of him wanted to do it again.
And while he couldn’t afford to want that, not if he didn’t want to lose Max’s trust before they got through this, he couldn’t quite stop wanting it, either.
Max was everything he looked for in a man.
Well, except for the part where he wasn’t attracted to other men. Although, Connor was in the habit of falling for men he couldn’t have, so Max wasn’t all that different.
“Now’s a good time to put in any requests,” Connor said, eager to make Max something he’d like.
“I’m not picky,” Max said. “But uh… don’t go to any trouble? Please?”
Connor nodded, planning on ignoring that request entirely. “I’ll keep it… casual.”
Max smiled at him, shelving a book from the top of the stack. He picked up another one and juggled it between his hands, pausing as though he was about to say something, but then sighing and shelving it as well.
“Is everything okay?” Connor asked, not wanting Max to feel as though he couldn’t say whatever was on his mind.
Max shrugged. “Nervous about this whole… getting married thing, I guess. It’s nothing. I’ll get over it.”
“Since when are you getting married?” Declan asked, coming around the corner with a stack of books of his own.
Connor’s stomach sank. They’d been caught out, and now Max would have to lie to his boss.
It was one thing to lie to a magazine photographer he was only going to see once more in his life, but another thing entirely to lie to the man who employed him. And as far as Connor could tell, Declan seemed like a good man.
“I…” Max looked between Connor and Declan, obviously torn. “It, I…”
“We are,” Connor said, hoping to save Max the stress of having to decide who to protect.
Declan’s eyes widened. “Oh, wow, uh… congratulations? This is… I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s kinda… sudden?”
“It’s for a competition,” Max explained. “We… I… Connor is helping me. There’s prize money. It’s for Zoe.”
Max looked down at the stack of books he’d been sorting, and blushed.
“Hey, it’s not like it’s impossible,” Declan continued. “I didn’t figure it out until I came here, so… I guess I just thought maybe you were the same. Anyway, that’s cool of you to do,” he turned to Connor.
Connor smiled at him. He liked Declan, and if he was going to fit in here, he needed to get along with the locals.
He couldn’t just have a pathetic crush on Max and not make any other friends.
“Oh, Max is helping me, too. Winning a big wedding contest would be a good look for a wedding planner.”
“Did I know you were a wedding planner?” Declan asked.
“I don’t think so?” Connor frowned. He hadn’t really been telling people what he did for a living, if he could avoid it.
Shame stopped him. Shame and fear that people would find out how he’d screwed up.
He felt as though he was among friends here, though.
“Huh, well, you picked a good place to move to,” Declan said. “People love a good wedding here.”
“I’m on a break right now,” Connor said. “But that’s good for when I go back to it. After this competition, I hope.”
Max smiled at him, making Connor’s stomach flutter.
He was so weak for pretty boys smiling at him.
“Well, if there’s anything I can do to help you guys, all you have to do is ask. Ash, too. I know how much he wants to help Max out.”
“You guys are doing more than enough,” Max said. “I really appreciate this job. And I love it.”
“Yeah, well, we like having you here. And your secret’s safe with me, by the way. I won’t tell a soul you’re faking it.”
“Thanks.” Max smiled. “It’s not a big deal, it’s just the magazine people who need to believe. Right, Connor?”
“Right, yeah. I mean… we can trust you.” Connor shrugged. “As long as the magazine thinks this is for real… we’re fine.”
“Cool, got it. Secret’s still safe. You wanna go make Connor here a cup of coffee?” Declan asked Max.
“Oh, uh…” Max looked between them again. “Sure, yeah, love to. If you’re hanging around for one?”
“I think I could spare enough time to drink a cup of your amazing coffee,” Connor said.
“Oh, yeah, Max is a natural,” Declan agreed. “Took ten minutes to train, got it first try. Smart kid.”
Max blushed to the tips of his ears. “I’ll get you that coffee,” he murmured, scurrying over to the counter.
Connor grinned as he went, heading over to sit down.
Now he just had to figure out exactly how he was going to impress Max with dinner.
Chapter Twelve
Max hummed softly as he hung his coat up in the hall, rolling his shoulders and sniffing the air as he headed into the kitchen. His mom was obviously home right now, and making something delicious for dinner.
His stomach rumbled at the thought. Wednesday nights he finished at the bowling alley at seven, so when his mom wasn’t working, she cooked for all of them, and they had dinner together.
Nights like this had become a rare treat, and he was looking forward to it. For the first time in a long time, he felt as though his life was halfway under control.
“Hey, mom,” he called as he entered the kitchen, planning on heading to the sink for a glass of water.
His stomach sank as he saw the magazine on the table. He’d thought it was coming out tomorrow, but… maybe the grocery store had gotten them in early, or something. Put them on the shelf tonight, instead of waiting for the morning.
He hadn’t realized that he and Connor would be on the cover.
Kissing.
He swallowed, looking up at his mom, who was stirring something on the stove.
Max’s stomach knotted up, tight and painful. He hadn’t expected anyone in his family to know he was doing any of this until it was over, and he really hadn’t expected to be on the front cover of a magazine, kissing Connor.
“You got something you wanna tell me?” his mom asked, turning around to face him.
Every word Max knew suddenly flew out of his head, leaving him standing there with his mouth hanging open.
He had no idea how to begin to explain himself.
“Oh, honey,” his mom said, flicking off the burner on the stove and rushing over to him, pulling him into a hug. “It’s okay. Sweetie, it’s okay. I always kinda knew.”
“Knew what?” Max asked, confused. How could she have known about the wedding?
“That you… preferred boys,” she said. “To girls. And that’s okay! I love you just the way you are.”
Max pulled back, unsure how to process that.
His mom thought he was gay? That… was new.
The fact that he’d never had a serious girlfriend didn’t mean he didn’t like girls. He liked girls a lot.
He just hadn’t had a whole lot of time to himself once he’d been old enough to seriously date.
“Mom, I… I’m not… gay.”
His mother raised an eyebrow, glancing at the magazine.
“Did you read the article?” Max asked.
“Not yet,” she said. “I wanted to ask your permission, in case it was… personal stuff.”
“Personal stuff that I was comfortable telling a national magazine?” Max asked.
His mom shrugged. “I just… wanted to hear whatever you have to say from you. Because I’m your mother, and I love you so much. I want you to know you can tell me anything.”
“It’s fake, mom,” Max admitted. “It’s all… fake. There’s a wedding competition, the prize money is a hundred thousand dollars, and Connor’s a wedding planner. He just needed someone to marry, and we’re splitting the prize money. And that’ll pay for Zoe’s surgery. I didn’t say anything ‘cause I didn’t wanna get your hopes up.”
“Oh, honey.” His mom rushed forward again, wrapping her arms even more tightly around him this time. “You didn’t need to do any of that.”
“Yeah, I did,” Max said. “I can’t watch Zoe in pain anymore, mom. I hate it. She deserves better.”
“I know,” his mom responded, rocking him back and forth. He’d gotten taller and broader than her a long time ago, but Max still turned into a little kid the moment his mom hugged him.
She hadn’t done that in a while. They’d all been too stressed.
Tears sprung up in his eyes at the thought of how they all deserved better. Of how winning this competition would change their lives.
“You think you’ve got a shot at winning?” his mom asked, pulling back again.
“I do,” Max said, and it wasn’t even a lie. He thought so even more now that he and Connor had made it to the cover of the magazine.
He believed in Connor. He’d seen his work now, seen what he was capable of, and he knew that Connor would do his best for this.
For himself, but also for Max.
Max wasn’t so blind that he couldn’t see Connor liked him, at least a little.
He wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but… he didn’t hate it, and it was definitely working out for him right now. Besides, he did want to be Connor’s friend, and that was all Connor had asked for.
“I think we could win this,” he added after a pause. “Connor’s good at what he does. The woman from the magazine liked us. People are on our side. And even if we don’t win… at least we tried?”
“Okay.” His mom nodded, biting her lip. “Okay,” she repeated. “Well, I trust you, so if you trust this… Connor person, he’s okay with me. You should bring him over for dinner some night.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Max said, fully intending to ignore that until the competition was over, at least. His mom didn’t need the stress of cooking for an extra person, or tidying up the house
for a guest, and she wouldn’t have let Max do it instead.
He’d find other ways to thank Connor for all of this.
“You know you can come to me with things like this, right?” she asked. “I’m… I know you’re trying to protect me, and Zoe, but… I’m not gonna fall apart, and she’s not, either. We’re both stronger than you think.”
Max shook his head. “I’m not doing this because I think you’re weak. You’re both stronger than me, and I know that. That’s why I’m trying so hard to hold up my end.”
His mom gave him a soft look, sighing heavily. “You’re a good boy, Max, and I wish you didn’t feel like you needed to put your life on hold for us.”
“I’m twenty-three,” Max said, smiling wryly. “I’ve got a lot of life ahead of me. I can spare a few years.”
“When did you get so wise?” his mom asked, smiling wryly.
Max glanced at the stairs automatically. “When I had to,” he murmured in response, not wanting to make his mother feel any worse about any of this.
They were all trying their hardest. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.
“Your dad would be so proud of you,” she responded. “You’re exactly like he was when we met.”
Max bit his lip. He missed his dad all the time, but he hated thinking about how different things would be if he was still around. The thought left him with an uncomfortable knot in his stomach, one that wouldn’t shift for a while.
“Thanks.” Max looked down at his feet, taking a few deep breaths to get himself under control. “I, uh… have I got time for a shower before dinner’s ready?”
“If you’re quick,” his mom said.
“I’m always quick.” Max smiled at her, pushing aside the lingering sadness, determined to make the most of the rare family night.
He turned to head for the stairs, already imagining how good a hot shower would feel on tired muscles.
“Hey, Max,” his mom called after him.
“Yeah?” Max called back.
“You know it’d be okay if you were gay, right?” she asked.
“I know, mom,” Max responded.
He did know. He knew his mom would support him anyway, and he also knew that they had bigger things to worry about than whether or not he liked dick.