“It suits you,” Connor said, leaning back. He obviously wasn’t shy about being naked.
He really didn’t need to be. He looked as good and put-together out of clothes as he did in them.
“And you’re making me breakfast,” Connor continued. “Going for fiancé of the year?”
“Do you normally have more than one fiancé a year?” Max asked.
“Not normally, no. You’re my first, actually. But there could be a prize or something, if you wanted.”
“I just wanna have breakfast with you,” Max said, shrugging as he poked at the scrambled eggs.
Connor made a soft sound. “That’s… incredibly sweet,” he said. “For the record, it’s nice to have you here in the morning.”
Max scraped the eggs from the bottom of the pan, turning them over so the curds would stay fluffy as the eggs set.
“Well, I gotta eat and run, but…” Max looked up at Connor. “I had fun last night.”
“Good,” Connor said. “Fun is good.”
Max swallowed. “Listen… I still don’t know what’s going on with me, and I’ve got all these feelings, and I just… I don’t want you to feel like I’m jerking you around, and I want you to know that whatever this is… it means something to me.”
Connor’s expression changed instantly, from lazy and half-awake to soft and kind. “Max, it’s okay. I get it. You’ve had so much shit going on in your life for so long, and I’m not gonna add to that. I like you enough to take whatever I can get, and I trust you not to hurt me.”
Max felt as though that was maybe a little too much faith to put in him—he would never have hurt Connor on purpose, not for the world, but he was new at this.
He had no idea how to have a relationship, and that part was turning out to be scarier than the part where Connor was a man.
It was easy enough for Max to accept that he was attracted to men. To Connor, at least, who was single, age-appropriate, and always kind to him.
It was harder to know what to do next, with everything that was going on. He had maybe twenty minutes before he needed to be out of here, and then he wouldn’t have another free evening until Saturday.
Connor definitely deserved better than that. He deserved someone who had time to be with him.
All the same… Max didn’t want to let him go. He’d just found someone he really felt connected to, and he didn’t want to lose that.
The half-finished bunting Connor had been working on when he pricked his thumb last night caught Max’s eye.
Connor deserved better, and he was going to at least try to give it to him.
“We should have a craft night,” he said.
Connor looked up at him, one eyebrow raised.
“I mean… you’re doing a ton of stuff for this wedding, and I’m… not.”
“You’re busy,” he said. “I don’t mind.”
“I’m busy, yeah, but you could be busy, too. You said you were holding off on taking clients until this was over. You could be working, but you’re taking time off for me. I wanna help. I mean… I suck at crafts, but I’m good at following simple instructions and holding stuff.”
Connor looked him up and down, but didn’t say anything.
“You’re doing almost all of this by hand, right? I mean, you kept kinda hinting, but I just realized how much work that is.”
“I don’t mind,” Connor repeated. “It’s for a good cause.”
“And that good cause is my sister. Please… let me help. I’m free Saturday night. We can… break out the crazy glue and get everything that needs to be finished done.”
“I… would enjoy the company,” Connor said. “But you really don’t have to. I’d rather see you take a break.”
“It’d be a break,” Connor said. “I’m gonna be finishing the barn with Riley until the afternoon, but then… we could have a craft night. And I’ll buy you dinner to sweeten the deal.”
Connor sighed. “Fine. But I’m buying you dinner, since you’re making me breakfast. It’s only fair.”
“I don’t think that’s how this works, but if you’re accepting help, I’m not gonna argue,” Max said. “I think… I think maybe we’re both bad at letting other people help us, and that’s something we could both afford to work on. And it might be easier together?”
“Maybe,” Connor agreed. “I do enjoy your company.”
Max chuckled. “Well, that’s reassuring.”
“I enjoy your cock, also. For the record.”
The tips of Max’s ears burned as he took the perfectly-crisped bacon out of the oven, just in time to plate up the eggs.
Sex was the one thing he was really sure about. He liked sex, and he felt safe and cared for with Connor.
“I liked… everything,” he mumbled, dividing eggs and bacon onto two separate plates. “Enough to maybe do it again sometime?”
“Whenever you’re ready,” Connor said, a smile spreading across his face that made the tiniest spark of arousal bounce around Max’s stomach.
He could get used to that.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Okay, so, what you wanna do is dip the edge of the petals in the glue, so you get a thin line,” Connor said, demonstrating the technique with the fake flower he had in his hand. It wasn’t complicated, but he was trying to be a good teacher.
“And then you’re gonna dip the glue in the glitter,” he said, reaching out to a paper plate with a thin layer of deep blue glitter spread all over it and rolling the edge of the petal in it.
“Sounds like something I can handle so far,” Max said.
“Then you tap the excess off onto your paper,” Connor added. “And stick the flower in the floral foam to dry.”
Connor tapped the glitter off and stuck the flower in the block of foam while Max nodded along.
“Cool,” Max said. “How many of these are there?”
“Thirty,” Connor responded, pointing to a plastic bag full of fake roses under the table. “I decided on one per guest, this way they’ll double up as wedding favors.”
He’d gone back and forth on how he wanted the wedding to be, but he finally felt as though he’d gotten it right.
The whole thing would look handmade, and maybe a little tacky, but as though it came from the heart.
Those were the best weddings Connor had seen. It didn’t matter how polished the finish was. It mattered how genuine it was.
That genuineness came through. And if they couldn’t have it, well, they’d have to fake it.
Besides, this was being done out of love. Max’s love for his sister, and Connor’s love for his career, but love all the same. It wasn’t the kind of love people normally got married for, but the handful of people who knew that weren’t about to say anything.
“Okay, well… twenty-nine to go, I guess,” Max said, taking the bag from under the table. “Is this what you do for people? Like, as a job?”
Connor snorted, going back to the neat little bows he’d been tying around cheap glass vases to make them look a little fancier. “You know, it is how I started,” he said. “I did almost everything by hand in the beginning. I’d forgotten how exhausting it was.”
“I bet,” Max said. “Seems like a hard way to earn a living.”
“When I set out on this path I was young, and stupid, and I wanted to do this. I wanted to participate in other people’s happiness. I wanted to make them happy.”
“There’s lots of ways to make people happy.”
“I started this after I broke up with the only long-term boyfriend I’ve ever had,” Connor said. “We were in college, and I was in love, and he… wasn’t, apparently. I asked him to marry me and he laughed.”
“Ouch,” Max said, wincing. “How old were you?”
“Nineteen,” Connor said. “And you know, five years later, it still kinda stings. I spent a long time trying to work out what was wrong with me. We couldn’t even have actually gotten married at the time, so it was stupid.”
“Th
ere’s nothing wrong with you, and you’re not stupid,” Max said.
“I did eventually work that out.”
Max nodded, sticking the flower he was working on firmly in the foam. “I figured, but… sometimes it helps to hear it from someone else.”
Connor swallowed, fiddling with the perfectly straight bow he was finishing up. “Yeah. Yeah, it does,” he said.
He hadn’t intended to drag out past traumas for Max to see, but he trusted Max. Max was a sweetheart down to his bones.
That was probably why Connor liked him so much. He was safe.
At least, that was why he’d liked him in the beginning. Now… he’d seen a lot more of what Max was like, and he was falling for all of it. For his kindness. His dedication. His smile.
“I don’t get how some asshole rejecting you turned you into a wedding planner, though,” Max said.
Connor laughed. “I appreciate you taking my side in this. Honestly, this is embarrassing, but I figured the only way I was ever going to have a wedding was to plan someone else’s, so… I did. And it turned out that I was good at it. And I got a referral to another couple, and then another, and it just… turned into a business. My parents were mad when I dropped out of college to do this full-time. Maybe they were right about it not being a secure future. They’re still not speaking to me.”
“That’s not fair,” Max said. “You deserve better.”
“Thanks.” Connor sighed. He didn’t want to seem upset, or to bring the mood down, but he was glad he could rely on Max to listen.
Despite all his own problems, Max had always been willing to listen to him. That was rare, and worth hanging onto.
He shifted a little closer to Max, resting his head on the other man’s shoulder.
“We’re gonna win this,” Max said after a moment, pushing another flower into the floral foam and then grabbing a new tube of glitter. There wasn’t much in each one, but it’d been the cheapest way to buy the amount of glitter they needed.
So far, they were coming in well under budget. Connor was proud of himself.
“Yeah,” Connor agreed. He wasn’t sure if he believed that right now, but he thought they were in with a good chance.
“Why is this so hard to open?” Max asked, struggling with the cap on the glitter.
Connor moved to reach for it, about to offer to open it for him when Max finally got the lid off with a loud pop.
A shower of blue glitter rained down over him, flakes landing in his hair, all over his face, and in his lap.
Connor bit down on the inside of his cheek, desperate not to laugh. The shocked look on Max’s face was comedy gold, even if he hadn’t been covered in glitter at the same time.
“I… didn’t mean to do that,” Max said, holding up what was left of the glitter in the tube he’d just opened.
Connor giggled, slapping his hand over his mouth to muffle the sound. Max turned to look at him, eyes wide, and for a moment Connor worried that he was hurt by being laughed at.
Then, he burst into laughter as well, setting the tube of glitter down, his shoulders shaking as he joined Connor in a fit of giggles.
Max sat back, still covered in glitter, and laughed up at the ceiling, tiny, hiccupping laughs making his whole body shake.
Connor realized then that he hadn’t already been in love with Max, because he could feel himself falling right now. Max was so beautiful when he was laughing, really laughing, and Connor wanted to see him do it a million more times.
It hurt his heart that he hadn’t really seen Max happy before now, but he wanted to make him happy. He wanted to be a part of Max’s happiness.
None of that was anything he was going to say right now.
Maybe after the wedding. Once everything was okay, and Max didn’t have to be stressed all the time.
“Hold still,” Connor said after a moment, grabbing a clean paintbrush from his craft supplies box. “I’ll try to get some of it off.”
Max closed his eyes and sank back into the couch obediently as Connor started to brush glitter off him.
“You’re gonna be finding blue glitter on you for the rest of your life,” Connor said. “Glitter is permanent.”
Max laughed again, a warm, relaxed chuckle that made Connor’s heart clench.
He reached out to run his finger along Max’s cheekbone, telling himself it was to get a flake of glitter off.
Absolutely not just because he wanted to touch him.
Connor had been in love with men he couldn’t have before, but none of them had been quite like Max. None of them had been as kind, or as sweet, or as perfect.
The urge to say I love you welled up in his throat, but he pushed it back. Now wasn’t the time. Max was still finding his feet, and this was the first time he’d even dipped his toes into the waters of any relationship as an adult.
He deserved space to figure himself out and decide what he wanted. Connor’s neediness would just have to take a back seat for now.
“Being covered in glitter for life while I make flowers for my own gay wedding is probably a metaphor for something,” Max said.
“You wanna talk about that?” Connor asked, brushing a last few flakes from his eyebrow. He knew that wasn’t all of it, but it was the best he could do.
“Not yet,” Max said. “But… maybe soon?”
“I’ll be ready to listen when you’re ready to talk,” Connor said. “Anytime.”
“Thanks.” Max sighed, and it looked almost as though a literal weight had lifted off his chest.
Connor’s patience was paying off. Max was coming to terms with his feelings in his own time.
“Listen…” Connor began, not entirely sure how to phrase what he wanted to say next. “I was thinking, the wedding is next weekend, and we’re both gonna be ridiculously busy over the week, so… we should take a day off. Do something fun. Uh… together, I mean.”
Max turned to look at him, his pretty blue eyes soft and sleepy after a long day. “You mean like a date?”
Connor’s eyes widened.
He did mean like a date, but he hadn’t expected Max to call it that. He’d been trying to be casual. “I didn’t mean… I just think it’d be nice to do something, as friends, that isn’t… about our fake wedding, is all. I’d like to know you outside of this.”
Max nodded slowly, the look on his face telling Connor loud and clear that he didn’t entirely believe him.
He was smarter than he wanted people to believe. Much smarter.
The fact that he couldn’t figure out his own feelings at the drop of a hat didn’t mean he couldn’t figure out everyone else’s. Connor was still coming to understand that.
“Well… meet me here tomorrow afternoon? I’ve got an idea, unless there’s something specific you want to do.”
Max smiled at him. “Tomorrow afternoon sounds good. I’ll be there.”
“You and all your glitter,” Connor teased.
“Hey, it’s a look,” Max said. “I could pull it off.”
“You could,” Connor agreed, going back to what he’d been working on.
He was in love with Max.
Not that it changed anything, but…
For once in his life, he felt as though his heart was in the care of someone who’d appreciate it. Even if Max never felt the same way.
Maybe Max wasn’t the only one making progress with his feelings.
Chapter Twenty-Two
As soon as Max climbed out of Connor’s car, he understood why Connor had chosen this specific spot to take him to.
He approached the edge of the lookout point in awe, the town of Hope Springs sprawling into the distance below.
“I guess you already knew about this place,” Connor said, following him with the picnic basket he’d packed for them, complete with actual red-and-white checked picnic rug.
Max had teased him about it on the way to the car, but he liked it. He liked that Connor cared about the way things looked, that he had a sense of style.
“Oh,” Connor said, moving to stand next to him and look out. “Well… good, I guess. I get to impress you a little after all.”
“You impress me literally every time I talk to you,” Max said sincerely. “But this is definitely impressive.”
“I only saw it in passing when I was heading into town for the first time,” Connor said, laying out the picnic rug close enough to the edge that they’d still be able to see the view once they were sitting down, but also right under a big, old Cedar tree with a wide trunk.
It wasn’t the sunniest day of the year, but it was comfortable enough to be outside in.
“When I saw it,” Connor continued, opening up the picnic basket and taking containers out one by one. “I couldn’t help thinking how much I wanted to take someone on a date up here.”
“I thought this wasn’t a date?” Max said, raising an eyebrow.
He’d actually thought it was a date, but he hadn’t forgotten that Connor had denied that yesterday.
“I lied,” Connor said. “It’s totally a date. But it doesn’t have to be serious or anything. A casual date. I just… didn’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“I’m not uncomfortable,” Max said, heading over to sit down next to Connor.
He didn’t need this to be a serious date. He liked Connor, but he knew he was sending out mixed signals, and he knew Connor probably wasn’t used to waiting around for guys who weren’t ready to admit that they were even attracted to men.
Max had no idea why it’d taken him so long to even be comfortable thinking that. He’d grown up in a place where it was definitely okay to be gay—encouraged, even.
It was different when it was him, though. Hope Springs might’ve been a haven, but the whole world wasn’t.
Besides, he’d never had the chance to find out. He’d lost his experimental years to working every hour he could get at the bowling alley and every odd job he could find, until he got the job at the bookstore. And he was still working two jobs and a few other odd ones.
Something Blue Page 12