by GA Hauser
“Get the pot of water on for the pasta.”
“I will, dear.”
“Be right back.” He smiled as he rushed to his bedroom, stripping out of his shorts. He looked at the answering machine and noticed the light flashing. He peeked back at the door, biting his lip, and hit play.
“Mr. Buck. Tyler here. I have good news and I have bad news. I’d ask you which you want first, but I can’t. So here’s the bad news. No Christmas bookings. Zip. The good news is, one hall has an opening the weekend before. Call me and let me know. And do it soon. That most likely won’t last. Bye.”
He grinned at the sound of Tyler's voice and headed to the bathroom to shower, knowing his mother was waiting.
Jordon still couldn’t resist a quick orgasm with Tyler’s voice echoing in his head. Once he was done, he shut the taps off, rubbing a towel, then a brush, through his hair. Jordon stepped out of the bathroom and slipped on a pair of clean shorts and cotton shirt.
His mother poured him a glass of wine. In gratitude, he kissed her on the cheek and took it. “How are you and Dad doing?”
“Good, Jordon. Very good. What were you planning for the pasta?”
“I have some plum tomatoes, basil, and garlic.” He set the glass down and handed her a cutting board. While they were slicing and chopping, Jordon asked, “No wine for you?”
“I’m trying to watch my weight. Alcohol is too fattening.”
“Mom, you’re not overweight.”
“Because I’m careful.” She smiled wryly at him. “So? You told me the world was going ‘crapola.’ I know the market is horrible, Jordon, but don’t let it stress you out. There’s nothing you can do but bear it with everyone else.”
“Bear? Bull? Who knows the fucking difference anymore?”
“Jordon,” she scolded, scraping the chopped tomatoes into a pan that was sizzling with garlic.
“It’s not about work, Mom.” He stirred the freshly made sauce with a wooden spoon. “The water’s boiling.”
She took a package of fresh pasta off the counter and tossed it in. “It’ll only take a minute.”
“It’s okay. The sauce is done. I have some reggiano in the fridge.”
“Perfect.” She removed the lump of cheese and set it on the table with the grater.
“We’re there.” He tasted the pasta, dumping it into a colander. He dished out two helpings and coated it with the sautéed tomato sauce, then sat down and sprinkled cheese over the top.
“Smells divine. So simple.” Maureen took a bite. “Wonderful, Jordon.”
“Thanks, Mom.” He allowed them to eat in silence for a moment as he gathered the thoughts in his head.
“Have you met with the wedding planner yet?”
Jordon jerked his head up, guilty as charged.
“What?” she asked. “No?”
“Yes.” He wiped his lip with his napkin. “We met him on Saturday. Blithe was with us.”
“Oh. Good. What’s he like?”
Fucking incredible! “Nice. Competent.”
“Have you set the date?”
Jordon finished chewing and sipped his wine first. “Fawn wants Christmas, but Tyler, that’s the planner’s name, thinks we may be months too late to book a decent hall on such short notice.”
Maureen said, “It is late for Christmas, Jordon. Why does she want it then?”
“Something about snow and muffs.” He smiled at his perverted thoughts. “Speaking about muffs…” He knew damn well his mother never heard of that reference in regards to the female anatomy. “I have a very strange question for you. And let me add the disclaimer, I’m terrified to go into uncharted territory with my own mother.”
She gave him a sideways glance. “Please, Jordon. After the details your brother inflicts on me with his sexual bouts? There’s nothing that can shock me.”
“He gives you details of his love life?” Jordon paused in his eating.
“Never mind. What did you want to ask me?”
“Jesus. What the hell does he do that for?”
“Jordon.” She set her fork down.
“Right.” He squirmed in his chair. “Christ, this is so fucking weird.”
“Just blurt it out.”
“Fine. Do women have low sex drives?”
At first she appeared slightly surprised, blinking and parting her lips. She shifted in her chair, giving it some thought before she replied softly, “Some. Yes.”
“Do… do they ever get higher? I mean, with time or pills or something?”
“Are we talking about Fawn? Are you having trouble in the bedroom with Fawn?”
Instantly his cheeks grew warm. “Sort of. Nothing drastic.”
“What then?” She continued eating.
Uncomfortable at sharing the gory details, Jordon took a few more bites of his pasta as he decided how much he wanted to divulge.
“Jordon, Fawn travels all the time. My guess is that she comes home exhausted and needs time to recuperate.”
“I’d agree with that comment if she spent the time resting. But she goes out on the town with her co-workers, clubbing all night long.”
“She still does that? Even now after you’ve announced your engagement?”
“Yes. I don’t mind, Mom. She enjoys it. I don’t want her to hide in the house and resent me. That’s not an issue. She’s a vital, independent woman who enjoys her friends. I don’t want to change her.”
“I don’t know if that’s liberal of you or ignorant.”
“Again, that’s not what I have a problem with.”
“So, it’s your sex life.”
“Yes. Or lack of it.” Jordon finished his meal, nudging his plate away.
“Have you discussed it with her?” Maureen finished as well, placing her dish on top of Jordon’s.
“Yes. I tried to. I asked her if I still excite her. She said yes. She’s okay if I want intercourse. At least when she’s available and it’s not that time of the month.”
“Oh.” Maureen bit her lip.
“But she won’t do anything else. Nothing. Won’t experiment.”
“Well, Jordon, some women are shy about that sort of thing. As long as you two make love…”
“No.”
“No?”
“No. It’s not enough. Mom, I crave other things. I’m not asking her to get tied up or use artificial toys. I’m asking for things I thought a couple would be comfortable doing.”
“I see.” Maureen inhaled deeply.
He stood and brought the dishes to the sink. “Never mind. It’s an awkward conversation to have with any woman, especially your own mother.”
“I don’t know what to say, Jordon. Your father and I--”
He held up his hand in terror. “No! Oh God, no… don’t go there. For pity’s sake.”
“Well, I’m just saying--”
“Mom!” Jordon cringed.
“Jordon. Let me speak.”
He winced and held his breath, knowing whatever she had to contribute was going to be too much information.
After she exhaled loudly, she said, “I do enjoy doing things with your father, Jordon. But maybe it’s not for every woman.”
There it is! My own goddamn fifty-five-year-old mother gives head! The injustice of it all! His temples throbbed.
She brought the rest of the dishes to the sink as he began washing them. “Jordon, how important is this to you?”
“I know I should say it’s trivial nonsense.”
“Not if it isn’t.” She caressed his back lightly. “Is it a deal breaker?”
Jordon sunk emotionally at the idea of calling off the engagement. “Oh, Christ.”
“She does have sex with you?”
“Yes. She does.”
“So, it’s not like she’s cut you off?”
“She’s only cut off my balls, not my dick.”
“Jordon!”
“Sorry, Mom. This whole topic has me spinning. I feel like an idiot. She’s a nice girl. She�
��s pretty, independent, energetic… we have fun.”
“And?”
“And? She doesn’t give me head. What and?” He shut off the water in the sink and dried his hands on a dish towel.
“You’ve neglected something in your list.”
Jordon held up his fingers one at a time, playing along with the guessing game. “Pretty. Nice. Independent. Energetic…”
“Do you love her, Jordon?”
The dead serious look in his mother’s eye stopped the game short. “I think so.”
“You think so?”
“I feel strongly about her. What the hell’s love feel like? Do I love her like I love you and Dad? No.”
“It’s not the same. Come here.” She held his hand and brought him to the sofa in the open-plan living space. After relaxing, facing each other on the supple leather, Maureen held Jordon’s hand on her lap. “When I met your father, I knew I had found real love.”
“How? How did you know?”
An expression of pleasure washed over her as she appeared to suddenly go into some kind of fantasy world. “He was all I could think about, night and day. Just the sight of him walking into a room lit me up.”
Jordon held up his hand. “I’ve had enough of the sex talk about you and Dad. Please.”
“It wasn’t just sex, Jordon. It was a feeling of him being my everything. It was trust, companionship, mutual respect… and yes, attraction. Burning hot attraction.”
“Mother,” he moaned and grimaced.
“Do you feel any of those things for Fawn?”
“It’s different nowadays. There’s no Humphrey Bogart-Ingrid Bergman thing happening. People get along and they hook up.”
“Nonsense!”
“You think Bryan is going to find some knockout love of his life?”
“Yes!”
Her conviction surprised him. If Bryan found that in Tyler, Jordon would go insane. “No. No way. Gay men cheat.”
“Jordon. They don’t. Not all of them.”
“Are you kidding me?” He laughed at the joke. “You have any idea how many men have made a pass at me in the last seven days?”
“Men?”
Her astonished look made him rueful of his careless words. “Never mind.” As he went to stand, she stayed him.
“Jordon.”
He couldn’t look her in the eyes.
“I wouldn’t care if I had two gay sons. Not in the least.”
“Augh!” he screamed. “I’m not gay! I can’t be! How can I be gay?”
“Jordon.” Her hold grew tighter but her words softer. “Look at me.”
It took every ounce of strength he had to meet her eyes.
“Baby,” she whispered. “Don’t marry carelessly. I know today marriage has become a throwaway idea. Big deal, I’ll get a divorce, better luck next time.” She squeezed his fingers in a vise hold. “But any divorce is earth-shattering. And if there are children… it’s catastrophic.”
With his free hand he rubbed his eyes in anguish. He hadn’t had any doubt when he proposed. He had no idea what was going on lately in his head.
“Is there a man you are attracted to, Jordon?”
“No.” How on earth could he tell her?
“Maybe you should talk to Bryan--”
“No!” he snapped, immediately regretting his tone. “I’m sorry. No. I don’t want to speak to Bryan.”
“When is Fawn due back?”
“Uh…” He had to concentrate. “A week. I think she said a week. I have to call her and ask her about a date that’s available the week before Christmas.” Jordon took his hand back from her clasp. “I’m tired, Mom. Can we call it a night?”
“Of course.” She stood, holding him around his waist as they walked to the door.
“You want me to hail you a cab?”
“No. There are plenty of them around this time of the evening.” She picked up her purse.
“I’ll walk you down.” He slipped on a pair of tennis shoes and found his keys.
In silence, they descended to the lobby. As usual, it was busy with residents as well as bar and restaurant patrons.
He stood out on the sidewalk, flagging down a cab. When one pulled up, he opened the back door for his mother and told the driver her destination uptown. She kissed his cheek and waved as she disappeared into traffic.
Just as he was about to return inside, an effeminate man with a shaved head whispered, “Hey, baby…” as he passed.
Unable to force a reply or smile, Jordon made his weary way back to his abode.
He kicked off his shoes, tossed his keys aside, and picked up the phone. He dialed Fawn’s number.
“Hiya, Jordy.”
“You sound tired.” He dropped down on his own bed.
“I am. Long flight.”
“Where are you?”
“L.A.”
“Oh. Lucky,” he said. “Look, Tyler called. He told me that since we’re cutting it close, the only one on your list to have a date near Christmas has one a week before. Is that okay?”
“Perfect. Thank you, Jordy.”
“I miss you, baby.”
“I miss you too. So, now that we have a date? Can you do other things with him?”
A chill ran up Jordon’s back. “Other things?”
“Yes. I’m not picky about flowers and stuff, babe. Can you and he get that settled? You know, pick a photographer, invitations…”
“We didn’t even make a list of who we want to invite yet.”
“You can still select a design. Or better yet, let him.” She laughed. “Yours will have blue chip stock options on it.”
“Funny girl.” He smiled.
“Seriously, Jordy. Can you do that for me? I want to pick out the menu and my gown, but to be honest, everything else is unimportant to me.”
“What is important to you, Fawn?”
“You, babe.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
Jordon had mixed emotions about this conversation. He had hoped it would make him more confident, not more guilt-ridden. “But, babe, I’m like an old fuddy-duddy compared to you. You’re still so energetic and carefree.”
“Not at the moment. At the moment, I’m wiped out. I need to sleep, Jordy. I have to be back on the plane again soon.”
“Yes. Of course. I’m sorry.”
“So, call Tyler and see if he can book that place.”
“I will, Fawn. Miss you.”
“Bye, babe.”
He hung up. and checked the time. It was nearing nine.
Jordon located Tyler’s business card and, before he chickened out or had second thoughts, he called his mobile number.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Tyler, it’s Jordon. Is it too late to call you?”
“No. I was just watching the Olympics on TV. What’s up?”
“I forgot that was on.”
“Men’s gymnastics. Check it out.”
Jordon hopped off the bed and pointed the remote at the television in his den. “The rings. Love it.”
“Oh, me too. Christ.”
The sound of lust in Tyler’s voice made Jordon smile. He dropped down on the sofa. “You, uh, on your own? Or am I disturbing you with company?”
“On my own.”
“Really?” Jordon was surprised. Ex-porn star, stunningly handsome, Tyler Holliday is alone? That didn’t make any sense to him. While he was busy with his thoughts, an athletic male on the rings was doing the iron cross. It got Jordon’s attention immediately. “Wow. Look at that.”
“Isn’t he to die for?”
Jordon wondered if Tyler was slightly tipsy. He sounded unguarded and relaxed.
“He’s absolutely beautiful, Tyler.” Jordon figured if Tyler could be unguarded, maybe he could too. He wasn’t homophobic or afraid to sound unmanly, far from it. He’d heard Bryan point out nice-looking men all of Bryan’s teen and adult life. Hearing Tyler do it was nothing new. And Jordon could appreciate a go
od-looking man. He wasn’t blind.