by GA Hauser
“Yes. Shut up. Goodbye.”
“Bryan!” Jordon dialed again. Voice mail picked up. He slammed down the phone and grew furious, screaming profanities. He began cleaning up the kitchen so Bryan wouldn’t know two people had eaten dinner. Once that was done, he found the nude Tyler photo and was about to crumple it up when he hid it inside his closet instead.
Jordon checked the second bathroom, feeling the damp towels, and threw up his hands. He couldn’t cover all the tracks. Tough. There was nothing he could do now.
When the phone rang again, Jordon raced to it. “Bryan?”
“No. Jordon, it’s me.”
“Tyler.” Jordon felt so sick he couldn’t think straight.
“I owe you an apology. You were kind enough to invite me in, feed me… let me work out with you, shower… Jordon, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Jordon wanted to crawl into Tyler’s arms so badly he was in agony.
“No. It’s unforgivable. I promise you, Jordon, I will make you the best goddamn wedding New York has ever seen.”
The conflict in him giving him a migraine, Jordon replied, “Just make it simple. Don’t go overboard.”
“Yes. Simple and classy. Promise.”
“Okay.”
“Am I forgiven, Mr. Buck?”
“Of course, Mr. Holliday.” A tear ran down Jordon’s face. He was so crazy about this man he ached.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“I’ll be in touch soon. Very soon. To update you on all the plans.”
“That’s fine.” Jordon felt something stirring in him that was akin to a dam breaking.
“I’m sorry, Jordon.”
The quivering began in his lip and his throat closed. This strong emotion was foreign to Jordon; the last time he had cried was at his grandfather’s funeral ten years ago. “It’s okay,” he pushed the words through his narrowing voice box.
“Thanks again. See ya.”
Unable to speak another word, Jordon hung up. He staggered to his bedroom and dropped to sit on his bed. Though water was running down his face, he felt as if he should sob, weep, do something else. Nothing else was happening.
“Can’t I even cry? What the hell have I become?”
“Jordon?”
“Oh, fuck no!” Jordon whined. “Go away, Bryan!” He wiped at his tears in panic.
“Where are you?”
The minute Bryan came through the bedroom, he looked at Jordon in shock.
Jordon knew he wasn’t known for his emotion, and certainly Bryan had only seen him tear up, rather discreetly, at the last funeral.
“What the fuck is going on?” Bryan dove onto the bed and wrapped his arm around Jordon. “You’re scaring the crap out of me. What did Bridezilla do? Did the bitch finally cheat?”
Jordon choked at the irony and avoided his eyes. “Stop calling her that.”
“Jordon. Please. I know you too well. Nothing ruffles you. Nothing. I’ve seen you survive every drop of the market unfazed, every crisis you handle calmly and like a pro, and you’ve only cried at Grandpa’s funeral, and even that was one dab at the corner of your eye.”
“I begged you not to come. Why didn’t you listen to me?”
“Because I’m your brother and I love you. If I were a wreck, would you ignore me?”
Jordon got it. “Point taken.”
Bryan said, “I know it’s Fawn. I know she’s away. Did she call you and tell you something to hurt your feelings?”
“No. She’s been wonderful. We spoke, she misses me, we agreed on a date.”
Bryan looked perplexed. “Don’t tell me you have cancer.”
“No. You idiot.” Jordon shoved him roughly.
“Are Mom and Dad okay?”
“Yes. See? All is fine. Go home.”
With a flop, Bryan dropped down on the mattress. “I won’t leave you alone until you tell me.”
“You’re a pain in the ass.”
“Oh, speaking of pains in the ass, and I mean that in a very good way, I got a MySpace friend invite from Adrian Tripp. Man, he’s cute.”
“He’s been hornier than a bitch in heat since his blowjob buddy quit.” Jordon lay on his side next to Bryan.
“How nice is he?”
“He’s delightful. A real cut up.”
“And a millionaire? For real?”
“Easily.”
“Wow. Sounds tempting.”
“Go for it. I guarantee you’ll have a great time with him. He’s charming, hilarious, and sweet.”
“Mm.” Bryan smiled, staring at the ceiling.
“Can you go home now?”
“No. I’m staying until I figure out what happened to make you cry.”
“I was slicing up onions.”
“It does smell like fried onions and peppers. But I can tell you’re full of shit. Any leftovers?”
“No. Sorry. Did you finish the paella?”
“Yeah, me and Kerry polished it off.”
“Kerry?”
“The guy who plays Fenton in Hair.”
“Right. Go home.”
“Jordon!” Bryan rolled to his side to stare at him. “Sweetie…”
“Sweetie?” Jordon raised his eyebrow at him. “What am I now, a conquest?”
“Brothers screwing? Is that like too weird for words?”
“Sick. Go away.” Jordon sat up, rubbed his face tiredly, and managed to get to his feet. He scuffed to the kitchen for ice water. As he passed the table he stopped short. “Bryan!”
“Ha. You found it.”
“Get them the hell out of my house.”
“No way.” Bryan picked up the two VHS tapes. “I want you to transfer them to DVD for me. I don’t have a tape player.”
“No!”
“Look at him.” Bryan held up the box. “Tyler was so damn pretty.”
“He was fucking fifteen! Get it the hell out of my sight.”
Bryan read the box. “No. It says no one in this film is under the age of eighteen. Look.”
Jordon shielded his eyes. “You think you’re helping me but you’re not. Go home!”
“Let me transfer them to DVD first.”
“Bryan!”
“I’ll leave right after.” He headed to the den, sat on the floor, and plugged one into the tape player. “Get me a blank disk,” he shouted to Jordon who was now standing in the doorway.
“I don’t have any. Take that out of there and go.”
“You always have them.” Bryan dug around and found some in a cabinet. “Why do you lie?”
“Because you are intolerable.”
“Go to bed. I’ll watch it alone.”
“Fine. Lock up when you leave.”
As Jordon left the room, Bryan asked, “You seriously don’t want to see this pretty boy bottom?”
“Seriously.”
“Man, you really are straight as they come, Jordon.”
He left the room and washed up for bed, avoiding his red eyes in the mirror. He stripped down to his briefs, shut the door, turned off the lights, set the alarm clock, and crawled under the blankets. He felt so drained he hoped he could just drop off to sleep. The last thing he needed was to hear that movie coming through the wall.
Chapter Seven
The alarm woke him. Jordon felt worn out. Completely exhausted. His head ached. Showered, shaved, and dressed, he headed to the kitchen to make coffee. On the table was a note.
I’ve got DVDs now. These are for you.
Under the paper were the two VHS tapes.
“Fuck, Bryan. No. I don’t want these here.” He winced, seeing Tyler in no way looking eighteen in them. Jordon aimed them for the trashcan, only at the last minute wondering if Tyler might want them. “No. I can’t do it.” He dumped them into the garbage, wishing they had never entered his domain. They sickened him. The sexual abuse of a boy that young under those circumstances was painful to him.
Right after handling them, he
washed his hands as if the videos had left traces of their illegal acts on him.
Once he filled the coffee carafe and started the pot dripping, Jordon dropped down tiredly at the kitchen table, waiting for the pot to fill. He had no appetite. Not even for toast.
***
On his walk to his office, Jordon called Fawn. It was nearly impossible to touch base with her when she was flying. Jordon often wondered why she didn’t call him. How was he to know when she was off her plane and in a hotel room?
Her voice mail picked up. “Hey, babe, it’s me. I got us our date and Tyler is taking care of everything but the two items you want to pick out. Call me with a list of guests. I know it’s mostly family. I’ll call your mom and see what she suggests, but do you know who you want friend-wise? Anyway, don’t worry. It’s all under control. Miss you.” He hung up and stuffed the phone into his pocket.
As he waited for the elevator, Jordon heard a familiar voice.
“Mr. Buck.”
Jordon smiled. “Mr. Tripp.”
They entered it together.
“Your brother and I have a date.”
“Do you?” Jordon pushed the button to the floor of their office.
“Yes. So? Will I get laid on my first date?”
“Yes.”
“Delightful.” Adrian shivered. “Wanna threesome?”
Jordon grimaced at him.
“Sorry. Poor taste? Not into incest?”
“Great. Now I’m sick to my stomach.”
“I have fantasies about a Buck sandwich.”
“Adrian, please,” Jordon implored.
Adrian made a noise in frustration. “Does that mean I can’t boast to you about how good he is in the sack?”
“Spare me.” Jordon rushed out of the elevator when the doors slid back.
“I thought you had a fun side, Jordon,” Adrian called after him.
Jordon paused, confronting him. “Fun? Hearing details about my brother having gay sex? That’s pathetic coming from someone I thought had some class.”
“I am classy. We’ll lick champagne from each other’s navels.”
Jordon held up his hand in revulsion. “Go away, Adrian.” He closed himself into his office, taking off his jacket. He didn’t need to hear everyone around him was enjoying a better sex life than he was, did he?
***
“Call on line one, Mr. Buck.”
“Thank you, Faith.” Jordon connected the line. “Jordon Buck.”
“Tyler Holliday,” was echoed with the same serious monotone.
“Funny.” Jordon instantly felt warmth. “Yes? What can I do for you, Mr. Holliday?”
“I’ll restrain from voicing my real feelings about that question and ask you how many guests you are planning to invite?”
Real feelings? Christ, tingles. Yes, my whole body just covered in them.
“I have no clue, Tyler. I left a message on Fawn’s phone and I’ll call both my mom and hers tonight to get their lists. Do you need a rough estimate?”
“How about a rough estimate soon and an exact figure with names and addresses within the week? You do realize how short notice this all is?”
“You have made me well aware of it.” Jordon replied.
“I will also book the photographer and the band shortly. My two best.”
“Good.”
“Also…”
“Yes?” Jordon had an urge to whisper taboo secrets to him, to nestle on the couch in his condo with him.
“Your brother emailed me about watching my movies.”
Jordon felt sick.
“Could you tell him to get lost?” Tyler snarled.
“Be best if you did. He doesn’t listen to a frickin' thing I say.”
“I will.” Silence followed. “You... uh, doing that same workout at the gym later?”
“Yes. It’s my daily routine.”
“My fucking ass and calves are so sore I’m in agony.”
“Really?” Jordon licked his lips at Tyler talking about his ass. Jordon knew he had a terrible crush on this man.
“Yeah. I’m in sad shape.”
“Hardly.” Jordon laughed at the absurdity.
“Bet you’re not sore from it.”
“I’m used to it. I do it every day.” Jordon imagined massaging Tyler’s ass for him.
“You really are in amazing shape.”
Jordon noticed his second line light up. He didn’t want to hang up.
“I’d love to work out with you again… if it’s possible.”
Jordon wanted that too, but knew it was a bad idea. “Uh…”
“Just as friends,” Tyler added quickly.
“Mr. Buck?” Faith poked her head in. “Fawn on line two.”
“Thanks, Faith.” He spoke into the phone, “Can you hold for a minute, Tyler? Or do you have to go?”
“Put me on hold.”
“Thanks.” Jordon hit the button, then connected to Fawn’s call. “Hello?”
“Hi, Jordy.”
“Did you get my message?”
“Yes. Say about twenty of my friends and Mom has around forty to fifty relatives.”
“Okay. We do need names and addresses.”
“She’ll give them to you. I told her who I want there.”
“Okay.”
“Anything else?”
“Not at the moment. Tyler is on the other line. Anything you need me to ask him?’
“Ask him which place sells the best bridal gowns.”
“Got it.”
“See ya. I have to go. I’m at the airport on my way to my next connection.”
“See ya.” Jordon hit a button. “You still there?”
“For you? I’ll wait a lifetime.”
“Mr. Holliday, none of that talk,” Jordon chided, but he loved it. “It was Fawn on the other line.”
“And?”
“She said twenty friends and forty to fifty family members. That’s her side. I have to call my mom for mine.”
“Okay.”
“And she asked for a recommendation for a dress shop.”
“You want to write them down or for me to drop by with my list?”
What do you think, hot stuff?
“I’m swamped at the moment,” Jordon replied.
“Can I… can I stop by? Just for a minute? I won’t stay long.”
“Sure. When?”
“You, uh… want to work out again?”
How can I resist you? How? “Meet me, four-ten sharp.”
“Yes, sir!”
Jordon could imagine Tyler saluting. “Goodbye, Tyler.”
“See ya, Jordon.”
***
Yes, he couldn’t wait to see Tyler again. He was a friend. Was it wrong to have friends? Fawn had them. Fawn went out drinking with hers, stayed with them overnight, got drunk with them, bought shoes with them…
Couldn’t he have friends too? Was there some kind of double standard?
Jordon sprinted out of his office the minute the market closed. A hand grabbed Jordon’s arm through his suit jacket. Jordon almost dragged Adrian with him down the corridor.
“Hot date again?” Adrian asked as he jogged alongside Jordon.
“Workout.”
“You must have one hot workout buddy.”
“Mind your own business, Mr. Tripp, or I’ll tell my brother to cock tease you.”
“You would.”
“Damn straight.” Jordon stepped into the elevator, frantically pounding the lobby button when the door didn’t close fast enough for his liking.
“What should I wear?”
“A thong?” Jordon laughed.
“No. I mean smart casual? Jeans? What?”