by Grace Walton
“Carrie suits you.” he said honestly.
“Yeah, I know.” She nodded. “It’s a lot closer to who I really am than ‘Caroline’.” Even though it was the truth, she said it with the tiniest hint of regret.
“I didn’t mean it that way.”
“It’s OK, really,” she assured him. “I’m quite used to the idea. I know how I look at the moment. I’m not blind you know.”
“No, you don’t understand,” he tried to explain.
Carrie flared up. “What don’t I understand? Twice now you’ve described me as too tall and too plain and too thin. I may not be attractive, Dr. Ferguson, but I’m not stupid.”
“Gage,” he whispered calmly to her. “Just Gage, and I apologize for what I said about you. Both times”
“Why? Wasn’t it the truth?” she challenged him.
Gage distracted her by reaching up to rub the tight muscles at the base of her neck. He liked the shiver he got in response to that simple touch. “It was cruel. But I never would have come off like an arrogant jerk in elevator if I hadn’t thought...”
Her eyes behind the glasses mocked him.
“I didn’t know who you were. I thought you were trying to pick me up,” he said bluntly.
“I’ve never picked up a man in my whole life,” Carrie said hotly.
“I’m sure you haven’t and I’m very, very sorry. You see, the truth is- a few years ago I would have been the one hitting on you in that elevator.”
Carrie snorted her disbelief, although it was hard to remain completely angry with a man who was giving her a massage. His hands had moved to her tense shoulders. He was kneading them with a comforting strength that threatened to put her to sleep.
For a moment he withdrew his hands. He held them up in front of his chest and defended himself, “It’s true. I’m not proud of it. I was promiscuous. I don’t know how to say this without offending you Carrie. I used a lot of women. I lied to them. I promised things I had no intention of doing. I wasn’t a good guy.” Done with his confession, he got back to work easing the knots in her shoulders.
“And you are now?” Carrie retorted.
Gage had the grace to look crestfallen. “I’m trying to be. Honestly, I’m trying to be. But I admit it’s happening slowly, and with varying levels of success,” he said ruefully.
“What happened?” Carrie goaded. “Did you get religion or something?” She was stunned when he nodded.
“Yeah, as a matter of fact, I did.”
“You’re not kidding are you?” she asked in disbelief. Maybe she was wrong? Maybe he wasn’t a hired killer. It would be so nice to believe he’d been sent by one of Uncle Mac’s friends, Ray whoever he was. It’d be so perfect to be certain Gage Ferguson was here to save her. She was really tired and cold. She was hungry and her contacts felt like boulders in her eyes. It would be so great if He’d come to protect her. And it would surely be a fairy tale.
“I’m not kidding, and I’m truly sorry for the way I treated you in that elevator. What I said to Donnie was window dressing. I hope you’ll forgive me and trust me. Could you please just try to trust me, a little?”
The combination of his soothing touch and his soft apology disarmed her. She gave him her trademark ‘money’ smile. But it faded as soon as she saw him blink in stunned surprise. She was forever forgetting. She straightened and drew away from his hands.
“Apology accepted,” she said all business, “Now what?”
Gage was still stunned by the way the smile had transformed her. The plain old maid school marm had become beautiful, spectacular. Even though she’d graced him with that incredible smile, he knew she still didn’t trust him. And he needed her to trust him. His steady eyes drilled into hers as he answered, “For now on you’re going to be Miss Submissive Smith.”
She groaned in protest. He lifted the hefty sack and placed it on her back again. This time she didn’t evade him. But she did glare.
“I’m not going to be a pack animal for a bunch of low life, religious fanatics,” she hissed.
“Yes,” he gave the pack on her back a condescending slap as he waved up to Donnie, who was standing 100 yards down the trail with the rest of the men. “You are. And you are going to do exactly as I say. If you keep your mouth shut and try not to draw attention to yourself it’ll make my job much easier.”
“Your job?” She sniffed as she took a step towards the waiting group. Where was the kind man she’d been talking to a minute ago? “What exactly is your job Dr. Ferguson? Wait, don’t tell me. I’m pretty sure I know what you’re here to do. Somebody with a heavy accent paid you an obscene amount of money to find me didn’t they?”
His wide smile and mocking reply took most of the sting out of her words. “You have a very vivid imagination.”
Of course, she’d been right, but she’d never know it. Colonel Mac hadn’t been the first one to ask him to find Caroline. Now that Gage had her, there’d be a bidding war. Those kinds of situations were not uncommon in his line of work. Everybody had a personal agenda. And bidding wars tended to bring the dregs of society out to play. He had her. But now he’d have to keep her from all the mercs who’d want a piece of the action.
“Maybe- or maybe I’m just smart enough to recognize a Judas when I see one. I don’t like liars.”
“No Carrie, Judas betrayed Christ with a kiss. And I’m not a liar. Why don’t we make this really simple and agree to tell each other the truth? Then we can avoid kissing altogether.”
Carrie refused to be intimidated. “I agree. Because the thought of kissing a burnt out paid killer is disgusting.” She gave a theatrical little shudder.
“Carrie, you wound me.” His mocking smile disproved his words. “I’m not burnt out and I’m not a paid killer. I’m your Knight in Shining Armor.”
Carrie lifted her chin and sniffed in his direction. “Didn’t you hear? Knights in Shining Armor are an extinct species. They’re all gone, just like the dinosaurs. But even if they weren’t, I don’t need one. I don’t want one. I can take care of myself.”
“Yeah, I get that,” Gage mumbled under his breath.
“What did you say?” Carrie asked sharply.
He looked like a serial killer. “I said, I’m in charge here, whether you like it or not.” He strode off to join the others. Carrie stopped in her tracks and started sputtering. Gage turned back and had the last word.
“I mean it Carrie. A friend called in a favor. And a client wants you as well. I’m here to protect you and get you safely home. That’s your new reality. Deal with it.” He left her to tramp along behind him.
“Don’t count on it,” Carrie muttered in disgust.
Chapter Five
Gage watched the stars come out and calculated where they were heading. Rangers were extensively trained to use the heavens to get their bearings. Now it was second nature for him. Gage knew where they were. He judged they had covered 25 miles in the days since the kidnappers had charged into the elementary school and made off with the girls. All of those miles had been almost straight up into the wild Montana Mountains.
They were deep within a wilderness area. It was too mountainous to farm or ranch so it was pretty well deserted. The air seemed thinner tonight than it had all day. And the creek they’d been following was rapidly spilling over the boulders that divided it. There was no more of the lazy burbling amble it had taken the day before.
He looked through the flickering campfire across the rough camp to where Carrie sat huddled with the students. One girl was coughing and gasping. Carrie had her arms around the child trying to comfort her and keep her warm. The temperature had dropped as it often did in the fall. Gage smelled a hint of moisture in the air. He knew by dawn they’d have snow. And the colder it got, the worse the girls and Carrie would fare. None of them had a coat or even heavy shoes.
The little girl’s coughing had escalated. Carrie’s look of helpless concern tore at him.
“Hey Donnie,” Gage said.
“I’m tired of all that coughing.”
“I know,” he complained. “Makes it hard for a body to go to sleep, don’t it?”
“You got a blanket or something to put over her? Maybe if she got warm she’d quit making racket.” Gage knew he was taking a chance by asking. Neither the Aryan Brotherhood nor the Conclave smiled on a man who would do something so ‘soft’ as trying to provide warmth for a cold child.
“No, I ain’t got a blanket for the brat,” muttered Donnie with irritation. “I got this here sleeping bag and my jacket and that’s it. And I’m telling you straight up that little gal ain’t getting neither one of them. I’m using them both. Now shut up and go to sleep.”
Gage remained silent. The poor child kept hacking and eventually began to cry.
“Miss Smith, I can’t breathe,” she gasped.
Carrie rubbed her back and began rocking her. The girl couldn’t stop the cough or the hoarse sputters she made each time she tried to take a breath.
“Shut up!” yelled Donnie from across the camp. “Teacher Gal you better keep that kid quiet or I’m going to get her quiet permanent like.”
Carrie was frantic. She had no idea what to do. The rhythm of her rocking increased. She started humming a lullaby her mother had sung to her as a child. But nothing seemed to help. The girl’s loud coughs punctuated the stillness of the mountain night.
Donnie screamed in frustration. “I said, get that brat quiet and I mean right now.”
Carrie begged, “I’m sorry, I… I don’t know what to do, and she’s having such a hard time just breathing. I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, I sure as blazes do.” Donnie swept his arm out of the sleeping bag and grabbed his rifle.
Carrie pleaded with him, “No please! I’ll get her quiet. I promise I will.”
Donnie was in no mood to be placated. “It’s too late for that Teacher Gal. You should have tried harder before.”
“You looking to kill one of your Brides?” Gage asked casually from out of the darkness. It was clear he had moved. But Donnie couldn’t tell exactly where.
“What’s it to you?’ snarled the leader
“Nothing much. I just thought you told me you needed 15 females. If you kill one you’re going to come up short.” Gage observed. “Course I guess it probably don’t matter much, one way or the other.”
“Yes, it does,” argued Leroy from his sleeping bag. “If we don’t bring back the full 15, the Prophet’s not going to let any of us marry. And Donnie you let too many of them slip through your fingers back at the school. We got to have them all, even Teacher Gal. You messed up in your tallying, again.”
“Shut up Leroy,” barked Donnie. “You don’t need to be telling everything you know.”
“Well, it’s true,” whined the boy. “You know the Prophet said it wouldn’t be fair to let some marry and some not. He said if we couldn’t get fifteen women we’d all have to wait until we had the full number. And I don’t aim to wait no longer. It’s cold up there at the Conclave, specially once the sun goes down.”
“Me neither,” agreed Zack.
“Nor me,” said Troy. “And I, sure as shooting, can put up with a little noise to get a wife.”
“Will you all shut up?!” Donnie was used to giving the orders. And he didn’t like the fact that they were bucking him.
“I got an old hunting jacket in my backpack. I guess she could use that.” Gage offered in an offhand manner.
Donnie rolled his eyes. “Well, why didn’t you say that to begin with? You sure you want to waste it on the kid? It’s going to get a lot colder out here tonight and you don’t even have a sleeping bag.”
Gage shrugged. “I’m OK. I can make a nest out of leaves and stuff. I’ll be warm as toast. In Idaho we rough camp all the time in weather worse than this. We say- long as you got a knife you’re fine.”
Donnie bristled at the suggestion that the Aryan Nation men might be tougher than the Conclave group. “Big guy like you don’t need nothing, no way. Take it on over there to her and let’s get to sleep.”
Gage took his time getting the jacket out of the backpack and walked to Carrie. He draped it over both she and the girl. Carrie nodded her thanks and whispered.
“What else should I do to help her?”
“In the pocket, there’s a bottle of tablets. Give one to her and she’ll go to sleep. Try to cover the other girls with leaves. That will keep them a little warmer. Keep the meds out of sight. You might need more of them later,” Gage answered quietly.
“The pill, will it hurt her?’ Carrie asked anxiously.
“Not as much as a bullet wound.”
Carrie took a deep, shuddering breath and nodded. Her attention was pulled back to the coughing child. She fished in the jacket’s pocket for the small container. Finding it, she shook one tablet out, and gave it to the girl.
“Look at me,” he said. Carrie did as he asked without even thinking.
“I’m proud of you,” he told her.
Quick hot tears filled her eyes. “What?” No one had told her that in years. Not since she’d seen her Dad murdered in the car explosion.
“I’m proud of you,” he repeated, surprising himself at the depth of feeling in his voice. “In fact, I’m so proud of you that when this is all over and things are back to normal, I’m taking you out for a celebration dinner.”
“Normal?” she said it in a way that told him she didn’t think her life would ever be normal again. It hadn’t been normal for a very long time.
“Yeah normal,’ he smiled. “You know, work, bills, hot showers.”
“Sounds like Heaven,” Carrie said. “But will your reputation survive?”
“What?” He was confused.
“I have it on very good authority a few years back you were voted the ‘Most Sexy Man in Uniform’ by a very famous magazine. Surely you don’t want to risk losing the title because you’re seen with a woman who’s too tall, too thin, and too plain?” Carrie was trying to tease. But she stopped when she saw the hard look that transformed his face.
“You’re not ever going to let me forget that stupid comment, are you? Carrie, I’m not proud of the man I was back then. But, it’s my past and I own it. Now, I’m learning to be different. I want to be a better man. That whole thing with the magazine was a stupid publicity stunt. Enlistments were down. It was some general’s half-baked idea to beef them up, pun intended. I was running the obstacle course at Benning and the next thing I know, I’m ordered to take off my shirt and pose for a photographer.”
Carrie blushed, thinking of him stripped to the waist. She idly wondered if he was as cut as she imagined. Horrified at her wayward thoughts, she swallowed hard and cleared her throat.
“It was a joke Gage,” she said feebly. “Just a lame joke. I’m sorry. And you can stop trying to impress me with those fairy tales about your being a ‘changed man’. I don’t buy it. I know how you Rangers think. My Dad was one. I know you’ll use any situation to your advantage. If you thought it’d make your task simpler, you’d seduce me right now. Or try to. Not that it’d work. On me, that is.”
Carrie rolled her eyes. Talk about lame. Just how obvious could she be? But she was having a hard time separating the horrible jerk she’d met in the elevator at the courthouse with this guy. This incredibly hot and thoughtful guy who, even in the midst of an awful crisis, seemed to be totally in control. And she was so not in control. She hadn’t been even remotely in control of anything in years. So yes, he could probably have her panting after him with little or no effort. Carrie was a virgin. An amazing feat in this day and age. Especially for someone in her line of work where people leaped from bed to bed like they were playing musical chairs. She’d never been tempted to take the ‘big’ leap with a man. But this man, well, he was leap-worthy.
“Are you blushing?” Gage asked amused. He leaned closer to catch a glimpse of her face in the firelight.
Instantly she ducked her head and mumbled, “Of course I’m not blushing. What would make you think something like that?”
His deep, slow chuckle made her stomach jump. “You are. You are blushing. What was it? Me asking you out on a date, or the ‘Sexiest Man’ thing?”
“I’m not blushing,” she ground out not looking up. Carrie began to rock the now sleeping child in her arms.
“Yes, you are,” he countered.
She whipped her head up and hissed. “No, I’m not.”
He shook his head as if chiding her. “I thought we weren’t going to lie to each other anymore.”
“I don’t lie,” she said primly, lying even as she spoke.
“Do you act this way every time a guy asks you out?” He was enjoying her discomfort way too much.
“You didn’t ask me out on a date. You asked me out for a ‘celebration dinner’. That’s something you invite your 80 year old aunt out to do with you.” She sniffed.
Gage’s eyes caught fire and his voice deepened to gravel as he replied, “Believe me Sweetheart. I don’t think of you as my 80 year old aunt.”
Carrie’s breath stalled in her throat. Gage lowered his head until his lips were just a shuddering breath away from hers. Involuntarily her face turned up to his, her lips aching to feel the sweet pressure of his mouth. Her eyes fluttered shut and… nothing happened. She opened them to find him watching her tenderly, waiting for something. It was clear he was giving her the chance to stop him and reluctantly she did.
She turned her head. She concentrated on breathing deeply and slowly. It wasn’t easy. This, no they, no he… was going too fast. Light speed fast. Almost as fast as her racing heart. She had to put a stop to the alarming emotions rioting through her. They could have no future together until she testified against the Mexican Drug Lord, who had ordered her father killed. Wait, who was she trying to kid? They could have no future together at all ever. Because she didn’t trust him. There was a pretty good chance he’d been hired to kill her. He’d admitted as much in an oblique kind of way. Even flirting with Gage was dangerous because Carrie had a strong suspicion he didn’t play at anything, including relationships.