XV
I HAVE SOME TALK WITH A MURDERER
At first--the dead-light being fast over the port, and the state-roomin darkness save for the little light which came in from the duskycabin, and my own person in the doorway making it darker still--I wassure of nothing there. But presently I made out a biggish heap of somesort in the lower berth, and then that the heap was a man lying withhis back toward me and his face turned to the ship's side.
The noise of my footsteps must have roused him, either from sleep orfrom the stupor that his hurts had put him in: for while I stoodlooking at him his body moved a little, and then his head turnedslowly and in the shadows I caught the glint of his open eyes. Whatlittle light there was being behind me, all that he could see--andthat but in black outline--was the figure of a tall man looming in thedoorway; but instantly at sight of me he let off a yell as sharp asthough I had run a knife into him, and then he covered his head all upwith the bedclothes and lay kicking and shaking as though he were indeadly fear. I myself was so upset by his outburst, and by thehalf-horror that came to me at sight of his spasms of terror, that Istood for a moment or so silent; but in one way satisfied, since itwas evident that this poor scared wretch could not possibly do meharm. Just as I was about to speak to him, hoping to soothe him alittle, he pushed the bedclothes down from over his eyes and tookanother look at me--and straightway yelled again, and then cried outat me: "Go away, damn you! Go away, damn you! You're dead! You'redead, I tell you! Do you want me to kill you all over again, when I'vedone it once as well as I know how?" And with that he fell to kickingagain, and to shouting out curses, and to letting off the mostdreadful shrieks and cries--until suddenly a gasping choking checkedhim, and he lay silent and still.
Then the notion came to me that he took me for the dead man up ondeck; I being about the dead fellow's size and build, and thereforelooking very like him as I stood there with the light behind me andthe shadows too deep for him to make out my face. And so, to ease hismind and get him quiet--and this was quite as much for my own sake asfor his, for his wild fear was strangely horrible to witness--I spoketo him, asking him if he were badly hurt and if I could help him; andat the sound of my voice he gave a long sigh, as though of greatrelief, and in a moment said: "Who the devil are you, anyway? Ithought you was Jack--come back after my killin' him to have anotherround with me. Is Jack true dead?"
"If you mean the man on deck," I answered, "he is true dead--as deadas any man can be with a cut straight through his heart."
He gave another sigh of relief, as though what I told him was a realcomfort to him; and in a moment he said: "Well, that's a good job, andI'm glad of it. He's killed me, too, I reckon; but I'm glad I got inon him first an' fixed him fur his damn starin' at me. Now he's dead Iguess he won't stare at me no more." He was silent for nearly aminute, and then he added: "Jest get me a drink, won't you? I'm allburnin' up inside. There's water in th' jug out there. An' put a gooddash of gin in it--there's gin out there, too."
I got him some water from the jug on the cabin table, but when hetasted it and found that it was water only he began to swear at me forleaving out the gin; and when I added the gin--thinking that heprobably was so used to strong drink as really to need a little to putsome life into him--he took off the whole glassful at a gulp andasked for more.
I told him to wait for another drink until I should have a look at hishurts and see what I could do to better them; for, while hangingseemed to be what he deserved, I had a natural desire to ease thepain that was racking him--as I could tell by the gasps and groanswhich he was giving and by the sharp motions which he made.
"Jest shet your head an' gimme some more drink," he said in a surlyway. "Jack's give me a dose that'll settle me, an' lookin' at me won'tdo no good--'cause there's nothin' to be done. He's ripped me up, Jackhas, an' no man can live long that way. All I can do is to diehappy--so it's a good thing there's lots of gin. You'll find a kag ofit over there in th' fur corner. Me an' Jack filled it from th' spiritroom yesterday, afore our fuss begun."
But I stuck out that I must have a look at his hurts first, andmanaged to open the dead-light--which luckily had not been screwedtight--and so had some light in the room; and in the end, finding thatI would not give him a drink otherwise, he let me have my way. But Ihad only to take a glance over him to see that what he said about theother man having settled him was true enough; for he was cut in adozen places savagely, and had one desperate slash--which had laid himall open about the waist--from which alone he was certain to die in avery little while.
There was nothing for me to do, and I did not know what was best tosay to him; and while I was casting about in my mind to comfort him alittle, for his horrible hurts could not but stir my pity, he settledthe matter for both of us in his own way--grunting out that he guessedI'd found he knew what he was talking about, and then asking formore gin.
This time I gave it to him, and gave it to him strong--being certainthat he was past hurting by it, and hoping that it might deaden hispain. And presently, when he asked for another drink, I gave himthat too.
The liquor did make him easier, and it raised his spirits so much thathe fell to swearing quite cheerfully at the man Jack who had given himhis death--and seemed to feel a good deal better for freeing his mindthat way. And after a while he began of his own accord to tell meabout the wreck that he had passed through, and about what had comeafter it--only stopping now and then to ask for more gin-and-water,and gulping it down with such satisfaction that I gave him all hecared to have. Indeed, it was the only thing that I could do to easehim, and I knew that no matter how much he drank the end shortly wouldbe the same.
As well as I could make out from his rambling talk, the storm that hadwrecked him had happened about three months earlier: a tremendousburst of tempest that had sent everything to smash suddenly, and hadwashed the captain and first and second officers overboard--they allbeing on the bridge together--and three or four of the crew as well.At the same time the funnel was carried away, and such a deluge ofwater got down to the engine-room that the fires were drowned. Thisbrought the engineers on deck and the coal-passers with them; and thecoal-passers--"a beach-combin' lot," he called them--led in breakinginto the spirit-room, and before long pretty much all the men of thecrew were as drunk as lords. What happened after that for a while hedid not know; but when he got sober enough to stagger up on deck hefound the man Jack there--who also had just come up after sleeping offhis drunk below somewhere--and they had the ship to themselves. Theothers might have found a boat that would float and tried their luckthat way, or they might have been washed overboard. He didn't knowwhat had become of them, and he didn't care. Then the hulk had takento drifting slowly, and at the end of a month or so had settled intothe berth where I found her; and since then the two of them had knownthat all chance of their getting back into the world again was gone.
"At first I didn't mind it much," he went on, "there bein' lashins toeat aboard, an' more to drink than me an' Jack ever'd hoped to get ashow at in all our lives. But pretty soon Jack he begun to beworryin'. He'd get drunk, an' then he'd set an' stare at me like adamn owl--jest a-blinkin' and a-blinkin' his damn eyes. You hev noidee, ontil it's done to you, how worryin' it is when a drunken manjest sets an' stares at you fur hours together in that fool way. Igive Jack fair warnin' time and agen when he was sober that I'd hurthim ef he kep' on starin' at me like that; but then he'd get drunkagen right off, an' at it he'd go. I s'pose I wouldn't 'a' minded itin a ornary way an' ashore, or ef we'd had some other folks around.But here we was jest alone--oh, it was terr'ble how much we wasalone!--an' Jack more'n half the time like a damn starin' owl, till hea-most druv me wild."
"An' Jack said as how I was onbearable too. _He_ said it was me asstared at him--the damn fool not knowin' that I was only a-tryin' tosquench his beastly owlin' by lookin' steady at him; an' he said he'dsettle me ef I kep' on. An' so things went like that atween us furdays an' days--and all th' time nothin' near us but dead ships withmos' likely
dead men fillin' 'em, an' him an' me knowin' we'd soon gotto be dead too. An' the stinks out of th' rotten weed, and out of allth' rotten ships whenever a bit of wind breezed up soft from th's'uthard over th' hull mess of 'em, was horrider than you hev anyidee! Gettin' drunk was all there was lef' fur us; and even in gettin'drunk there wasn't no real Christian comfort, 'cause of Jack's damnowlin' stares."
"I guess ef anybody stared steady at you fur better'n three monthsyou'd want to kill him too. Anyway, that's how I felt about it; an' Itold Jack yesterday--soon as he waked up in th' mornin', an' while hewas plumb sober--that ef he didn't let up on it I'd go fur him sure.An' that fool up an' says it was me done th' starin', and I'd got tostop it or he'd cut out my damn heart--an' them was his very words.An' by noon yesterday he was drunker'n a Dutchman, an' was starin'harder'n ever. An' he kep' at it all along till sunset, an' when wecome down into th' cabin to get supper he still was starin'; and aftersupper--when we mought 'a' been jest like two brothers a-gettin' drunktogether on gin-an'-water--he stared wust of all."
"Nobody could 'a' stood it no longer--and up I gets an' goes fur him,keepin' my promise fair an' square. At fust we jest punched each othersort o' friendly with our fists, but after a while Jack give me a clipthat roused my dander and I took my knife to him; an' then he took hisknife to me. I don't remember jest all about it, but I know we lickedaway at each other all over th' cabin, an' then up through th'companion-way, an' then all over th' deck--me a-slicin' into him an'him a-slicin' into me all th' time. And at last he got this rippin'cut into me, an' jest then I give him a jab that made him yell like astuck pig an' down he fell. I knowed he'd done fur me, but somehow Imanaged to work my way along th' deck an' to get down here to mybunk, where I knowed I'd die easier; an' then things was all black fura while--ontil all of a sudden you comes along, and I sees youstandin' in the door there, an' takes you fur Jack's ghost, an' getsscared th' wust kind. But he's not doin' no ghost racket, Jack ain't.I've settled him an' his damn owl starin'--and it's a good job I have.Gimme some more gin."
And then, having taken the drink that I gave him, he rolled over alittle--so that he lay as I found him, with his face turned away fromme--and for a good long while he did not speak a word.
In the Sargasso Sea Page 15