by Renee Porter
I watched the students gather their things and head out one by one. Bryan Donnelly gave me one last look of what I could only call hatred and walked out. As I too, gathered my own items to leave I quickly checked my phone for any missed calls. My heart started to beat quickly as I glanced down, seeing a text from Maddie.
La Shenz at 8? I’ll pick you up at 7:30.
I quickly typed my response and pocketed my phone. Maybe I was making this whole dating thing more difficult than it really was after all.
***
“You look beautiful.” I beamed at Maddie’s compliment from across the table. The hostess had allowed us to sit in a cozy corner away from any prying eyes. I wasn’t sure if Maddie had requested it or if the hostess had realized that we would like some privacy but I was happy for the spot. Maddie’s back was turned to the restaurant and it seemed that no one was aware that the lead actress from Breakaway was dining with them.
“Thank you. And thank you for taking me here,” I eyed the beautiful centerpiece and décor of the fancy restaurant. “But I have to let you in on a secret,” I whispered as I drew myself closer to Maddie. “I have no idea what all these forks are for.”
Maddie laughed heartily and pointed. “Salad, entrée, dessert. When in doubt just work your way in.” She winked at me and my embarrassment flushed my face.
“When did you get so fancy?” I teased. Her gaze dropped down at her napkin.
“Wining and dining with execs in New York. Those guys don’t seem to know how to do anything less than extravagant.” I could tell she wanted to say more but she held her tongue. Maybe it wasn’t a conversation meant for my ears.
“Well, thank you all in the same. I’ve never been to a restaurant where you needed more than one fork for dinner. Or this…” I held up a strange looking instrument that looked like it belonged on a horror film and not at the dinner table. Maddie chuckled.
“Those are escargot tongs,” she said as she drank a sip of her wine. My eyes widened and I set it down just as quickly as I had picked them up.
“Please don’t tell me that snail is on today’s menu,” I pleaded with my eyes. Maddie’s own eyes sparkled with amusement.
“No snail, understood.”
The evening passed with easy conversation and delicious foods. Maddie regaled me with stories of her time in New York, about working on the set of Breakaway and her co-stars. I in turn tried to match her own adventures with mine in teaching and finding out the balance between writing a few bestselling books and keeping Randle Gooding a secret.
“Why didn’t you want people to know, though,” Maddie asked in a conspirator’s whisper. She eyed me over the rim of her wine glass as I pushed around the chocolate covered strawberries of my dessert.
“I was only seventeen. I had already been accepted to Cal State and I knew I wanted to be a teacher. Plus I was a little embarrassed,” I smiled shyly.
“Embarrassed about what? The books are amazing.”
“Well, I didn’t know that until they started selling out. What if they were horrible? What if my name was attached to something that received awful reviews? I didn’t want that to happen. Plus, in sci-fi, no matter if this is the 21st century, male authors still do better than female authors. It was a way for me to stay anonymous with still getting my story out there.”
“Are you still afraid that someone will find out?” Maddie asked.
I considered her question. At first I had been more than afraid. I was sure people would see me as hiding behind a fake persona and want to know why I had done that, just like Maddie had. But after years of anonymity and the talk of Randle Gooding as nothing but a recluse, hiding out in the woods, I believed it wouldn’t be so bad.
“Not afraid, no. But if it were to happen I know that I probably wouldn’t be able to teach anymore. That makes me believe that I would never want to give out my identity. I love my job, I love the students,” I paused and then smiled, “well most of them at least. I love knowing that these kids are really our future and I have a hand in helping them decide what they want to do with their life.”
I felt Maddie’s hand close over my own and a warmth spread over me. I held it for a few moments until I realized we were in a very public place. Even if we were secluded from many of the restaurant patrons, all it took was one waiter to recognize the intimate gesture and then all bets were off.
I cleared my throat and removed my hand from hers as Maddie eyed me with slight confusion. Then her gaze softened as she readjusted in her seat. “Anyways, what about you? What happens when the movie ends?”
Maddie shrugged her shoulder. “I guess it all depends on how the movie is reviewed. If I suck then I can probably kiss my career goodbye.”
“Thank goodness you don’t suck,” I retorted. Maddie gave me a wink and again my cheeks blushed. How could she do that with a simple gesture?
“And what about this?” It was a question that had been on my mind all night. Although I loved just being with Maddie we both knew it was the white elephant in the room. We had kissed, we had taken our friendship to the next level and we were still dancing around the fact that Maddie isn’t out. She has never commented about her relationships whether past or present and this could possibly be a career ending move.
“You mean us?” She whispered. I nodded my head, waiting to hear what she had to say. Of course, the ever pessimist in me could only go to the negative. She’d want to keep everything a secret, hide us from prying eyes because her career was too special, too new.
“I already spoke to my publicist about it.”
“You did?”
Maddie smiled graciously at me. “Of course. I needed to know my options. What the best way is dealing with this,” she pointed between us and at that moment I wanted to throw my arms around her.
“And what did your publicist say?”
Maddie’s eyes yet again shifted downward but she took a deep breath and finally met my eyes. “It’s difficult. I haven’t been open about anything in the media but then again, I really didn’t have to. I just kept to myself, let the tabloids say their rumors and not think anything of it. But…” she took another deep breath, “my publicist thinks that now is not the best time to come out, especially with the movie starting production so soon.” Her eyes softened and she looked nervous. “It’s not going to be easy to be with me, so I understand if you maybe want to hold off until after…until things settle down.”
I felt as though I was kicked in the chest. “Is that what you want?”
Maddie looked at me with wide eyes and shook her head. “God no, I want the exact opposite. I want to shout it from the rooftops, but B, you have to understand. If this movie goes the way it is planned to go there isn’t going to be much privacy. I’ve learned to deal with it, but you’re going to be talked about. People are going to say mean things and dive deep into your life. It’s just difficult to date someone like me.” She was vulnerable, scared, and utterly adorable.
“Then we deal with it a day at a time.” I shrugged a shoulder. “Because I don’t care if my face is plastered along every news outlet in the nation. As long as you’re willing to try this, then I’ll take it.”
“Really?”
“Really,” I said with honesty. I watched as Maddie’s sincere gaze shift into something more intimate and my heart sped up at what I thought that look meant.
“Check please!”
Chapter 14
September 2016
I took a step up to Maddie’s door and raised to knock but held back. I looked over my shoulder at Vanessa and breathed out. “There’s something I should probably tell you before we go in.”
Vanessa looked at me with a hesitant glare. In the days leading up to Maddie’s Labor Day barbeque, we had discussed allowing a few people to know about our growing relationship. While we were still careful about the public knowing, we decided that it was best for the closest people in our lives to know. Maddie had discussed it with Josh who I would be meeting for the fi
rst time today. And I in turn had asked Vanessa to join me in meeting my new girlfriend. I had been tongue tied to tell her exactly who that was and figured the best way to do it was to surprise her.
I didn’t say I was the smartest person alive.
My heart beat with the anxiety of telling Vanessa. I wasn’t sure how she would take the sudden knowledge that I was in fact dating her favorite actress.
“Go on then, the food smells amazing and I’m famished.” Vanessa smiled, “and I can’t wait to meet your beau,” she wiggled her eyebrows.
“Yeah, about that,” I started but couldn’t finish as the door opened.
“B! There you are, I was just about to call you.” My mother stood in Maddie’s doorway and her eyes twinkled with mischief. I had told my mother a few weeks ago about my relationship with Maddie and I knew she was holding back an ‘I told you so’. Instead she hugged me and said she only wanted me happy and could tell that Maddie did that for me.
“Hey, Mom, have you been here for long?” My mother ushered us in, telling us that she had arrived an hour ago. After Vanessa gave her pleasantries we made our way to the large back yard where most of the party goers were.
“So about my girlfriend,” I whispered over to Vanessa. But Vanessa wasn’t listening. Instead she held my arm in a vice grip as she stared out across the lawn.
“Oh my god, did you know that Madeline Fields was going to be here? You didn’t tell me your girlfriend knows her!” She gave me a stage whisper and I winced at the loudness of her voice.
“Vanessa, that’s what I was trying to tell you,” I breathed out as I tried to get Vanessa’s attention. Her gaze was locked on Maddie and I couldn’t blame her. In a flowing dark green shirt and long, white skirt, she was the epitome of perfection.
“You were trying to tell me that the girl next door you’re dating is friends with Madeline Fields?”
“Well, actually I was trying to tell you that the girl next door is Madeline Fields.” I waited for the lightbulb to go off but Vanessa looked at me with confusion.
“I thought you said you were dating the girl next door,” I eyed Vanessa not responding, waiting for her to realize what my point was. Finally her eyes widened.
“You’re dating Madeline Fields?!” I clamped a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide behind my hand.
“Jesus, Vanessa. Just let the whole world know why don’t you?!” I had to chuckle as I moved my hand away from her mouth.
“Sorry, it’s just…does she know that?”
I rolled my eyes at Vanessa. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure she knows.” Vanessa’s gaze roamed back over to Maddie as she let out a low whistle.
“Damn girl, you’re hitting the hottest woman alive.” My cheeks burned with the words as I nudged her with my elbow.
“I’m not ‘hitting’ her…yet.” I waved a hand in the air as Vanessa opened her mouth to ask me about my statement. “Look, can you keep this to yourself for a while? We’re not out yet because of the movie so we’re only telling the people closest to us.”
Vanessa’s eyes softened. “And you told me?”
“Of course, you’re one of my closest friends. And if I keep declining your offers to meet my girlfriend you probably would think I was making her up.”
“Well thanks for letting me know this way. You sure do have a way of letting the cat out of the bag.”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “Would you have believed me if I told you without actually seeing her in the flesh?”
Vanessa tilted her head. “You have a point.”
I laughed at her as I ushered her over to where Maddie was standing. Her deep laughter filled my ears as we stepped into the conversation. Maddie looked up from the gentleman that she was speaking to and her eyes landed on me. A sparkle of appreciation traced my form and I cleared my throat under her heated gaze.
“Hey, Maddie. Sorry to interrupt,” I smiled shyly at her but she waved her hand.
“Hey, B. No apology necessary. This is Josh.” I looked at the handsome man standing next to Maddie. His knowing eyes held mine and I smiled at him, taking his hand.
“Josh, nice to meet you finally.”
“And you, B. I’ve heard so much about you.” I watched as Maddie elbowed Josh in the ribs, her face blushing.
“And this is my friend, Vanessa. Vanessa this is Maddie and Josh.” Vanessa stuck out her hand in greeting.
“Vanessa, it’s very nice to meet you,” Maddie said with a slight nervousness to her voice.
“You too, and let me start by saying that my friend here is a twat and didn’t let me know this was your party until about five minutes ago.” Vanessa’s smile widened and I pinched the bridge of my nose.
“I didn’t know how to bring it up,” I told the group. Josh laughed at my obvious discomfort while Maddie gave me a knowing smile.
“Well at least Maddie gave me a heads up,” he whispered, “right before I saw you two at the patio door she said ‘oh by the way, I’m seeing someone and she’s going to be here any minute.’ I thought she was joking until I saw her look at you.”
“I told you I was seeing someone last month,” Maddie whispered loudly, defending herself.
Josh’s eyes widened. “I thought you were saying you were seeing someone for your psychiatric needs, honey. Because you’re obviously insane for keeping this beautiful creature in the closet.”
Again, my face blushed and I groaned audibly. Vanessa chuckled and elbowed me. “Oh I like him. Come on Josh, let’s go get a drink and talk about how crazy our best friends are,” I watched Vanessa take Josh’s arm and usher him toward the outside bar. I heard him laugh loudly as they distanced themselves from us.
“Hi,” I finally said leaning into Maddie. Maddie smiled a ‘hello’ back at me.
“Josh is handsome.”
“He’s insufferable,” she responded.
We both chuckled as I moved in slightly closer. “How did he really take it?” I was curious about how Josh would handle Maddie being in a relationship. From what I knew about him, he was very protective over his best friend but still only wanted the best for her.
“He asked me if I was serious about you, or if it was just a fling,” Maddie kept her voice down but it was loud enough for me to hear.
“And what did you say?” I teased her and she shrugged her shoulder.
“That I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life.” She locked eyes with me and my insides fluttered wildly.
“Is that so?”
“Mhmm. So much that so that I would kiss you in front of everyone right now if I could.” I licked my lips, a Pavlovian response that I’ve discovered I do whenever I think about Maddie kissing me. “Please don’t do that, or my publicist is going to have one hell of a time with the tabloids tomorrow.” Maddie’s breath was hotter than the September heat and I clenched my fist against my side.
“Then stop saying these things or I won’t be responsible for my actions,” I retorted. The words hit Maddie and she was about to say something but took a step back, straightening her spine. I took a breath in that moment, trying to settle my libido. Maddie and I were taking things slow and although our make out sessions were becoming more heated, we had always ended the nights in our respective beds. Somehow though, I knew that was going to change soon.
“Hi Roderick, so glad you could make it.” Maddie gave a quick hug to a large, older man. The three piece suit was a little much I thought but I figured that this man didn’t do anything half assed.
I knew him immediately as Robert Stillings, director of Breakaway. Liz had acted as a mediator between him and ‘Randle’ when the first movies were adapted from the book to screenplays.
“This is my neighbor and dear friend, B Montgomery.” I held out my hand to Roderick and gave him my best smile.
“Very nice to meet you,” he stated. And that was the last thing that Robert Stillings said as he made a point to direct all of his conversation toward the stunning blonde in front of me. As more gues
ts came, I began to find myself on the outskirts of every possible conversation. It was obvious that the high school teacher didn’t belong in the discussions of Hollywood royalty.
I allowed Maddie to be the ever gracious hostess as I found myself speaking to Josh, Vanessa and my mother. At times I would catch Maddie’s apologetic gaze but I didn’t let her feel my uncomfortableness of the whole situation. I knew that we had to keep a certain persona and right now my acting had to be Oscar worthy.
“Fancy meeting you here,” a raspy voice sounded from my left and I turned quickly, not expecting the face that was smiling back at me.
“Rebecca, hello.” My surprise was evident and Rebecca immediately took advantage of my sudden embarrassment.
“Now I know why,” she touched my pink cheeks and I flinched awkwardly at the intimate touch.
“Know what, exactly?” I tried to keep my tone neutral but this woman clearly was on a mission and for what, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.
“Now I know why she keeps looking over at you like a lost puppy. You’re stunning even when you blush.” Rebecca smiled wide, daring me to take her bait but I nervously held back a retort.
“What are you doing here?” I tried to switch the topic to something more neutral. The words came out a bit more clipped than what I had wanted but Rebecca took the tone gracefully. Her smug features still planted on her face and she held up a camera that I hadn’t even seen during our initial pleasantries.
“I work for the PR company that your friend’s agent hired for the evening. Basically I’m just here to take some pictures of the rich and famous so all of us little people can live vicariously through them.” She smiled sweetly but her words were anything but nice. The sarcasm dripped like venom and I shivered with the pure look of intent in her eyes. “Would you like to see some pictures?”
“No – I should be…” I had wanted to excuse myself to get away from the awkwardness of this conversation but she held up the camera screen to our eye level and started to go through the countless pictures she had already taken. She leaned in close, her breath hot against my neck and a bead of sweat formed on my brow.