by Tiana Laveen
“Okay, let’s pretend for a minute that you have your right mind. You expect me to risk my sanity and endure an hour or two with you at a dinner date, something you may win due to an unfair benefit related to your job? Do you know what we call that? An imbalanced benefit.”
“Who’s we? Are the voices talkin’ to you, too? I thought I was the only lucky one to have a parade of folks screaming in my head!” he joked.
She refused to laugh; it took everything within her, but she would not release her resolve.
“I won’t do it. That’s like a frog wagering a worm in a jumping contest.”
“Oh, come on!”
“No, seriously. You do Hide and Go Seek in adverse conditions for a living, Alex. I’m a lawyer. I’m not out here racing around like you, and thank you for your duty, it is heroic, but you have an unfair advantage if that was the game you wish to play.”
“You’re the lawyer but you implied I was a snake earlier. Interesting… Looks like we’re more similar than meets the eye.” You’re on thin ice, Alex… “Anyway, since you wanna whine and moan about it, how about we do both?” He tossed up his hands. “How about you choose something you’re good at, too, and level out the playing field? That way, I have to find you and do whatever task you propose. If I win that, too, it’s a date, no further negotiations. If I lose, then I’ll disappear.”
“Now that’s just silly. We are both adults. Adults ask each other out on dates and then if someone says no, they just move on. They don’t offer to run around in the woods and then up the ante!”
“I’m definitely an adult.” He cocked his head to the side. “You need to live a little and the fact that you’ve been standin’ here all this time and now walking with me and sharing a bit of yourself, letting me entertain you, for something you think is so ridiculous shows that at the very least, you find me interesting.” She swallowed. Hard. “Now, let me ask you again. What do you want to wager?”
“You’re determined, aren’t you? All right, fine. I will play.” She wracked her brain and beamed with joy as it came to her.
Don’t suggest anything that requires a bunch of physical exertion; he’s promised to win that… Oh yes, that could work… that’s a great bet. He’ll never do well at this and it’ll make for a great story once I get back into town…
“I’m good at trivia.” She held her head high, crossing her arms over her chest, quite pleased with herself.
“Trivia?!” The man’s forehead rumpled. “What is this? Final Jeopardy?”
“Yes. I will take ’Cocky Fire Chiefs for 500, Alex. See? That time your name fits just right!”
“Good one, but shit, you gotta meet me half way!”
“I am. Take it or leave it. I will do this silly Hide and Go Seek game with you. Of course, I now regret mentioning it since you took it completely out of context. Nevertheless, I won’t be alone. My friend will be with me. I will also alert park staff of my whereabouts and toss your name in the hat should something go awry. All jokes aside about your mental status; for all I know you really could be insane.”
“You’re right, I could be, kinda like Fire Marshall Bill. Did you ever watch—”
“Yes, yes!” She abruptly waved him off. “I saw that silly show, “In Living Color” back in the day. Those are moments of my life that I will never get back.”
“Silly? That show was comedic gold! Anyway, I’m not crazy but I get your point. All right.” He rubbed his big hands together. “What’s next?”
“If you find me, that’s great, but you’ll have to answer two trivia questions. If you get them wrong, no more Alex. Do we have a deal Mr. Only Live Once?” She extended her hand, waiting to shake on it.
“Two trivia questions isn’t fair, but I’m not one to back down from a challenge so if you feel you need an edge, so be it. I’ll throw you a bone.” She rolled her eyes. “We have a deal.”
He shook her hand, and she smiled through the slight pain of his squeeze, hoping her poor fingers wouldn’t be red and throbbing when he released her from his bear trap grip. She could see he had no idea about his own damn strength, or perhaps he was simply eager to get on with it. But she refused to let him know he’d already crushed her, suspecting he may be delighted that she couldn’t even handle a friendly handclasp.
“May the best man win.”
She turned to walk away, then paused to say, “Oh, I guarantee you the best woman will…”
CHAPTER SIX
Keep Your Trust in God, But Keep Your Gun Loaded
You caught me at a weak moment, motherfucker… I cried, I fell apart, and now I’m over it.
This was all Snow could think about as she read the endless, pitiful text messages from Hugh, completely full of apologies, blame and then more declarations of sorrow. He urged her to come back into town and meet him for a nightcap so he could explain. Explain what? The ins and outs of how his dick found its way inside of her friend’s birth canal?
“Put that damn phone down. We’re not here for Hugh… we’re here for YOU.” She tossed the phone on the couch beside her as Brittany read her the riot act for being so distracted.
“You should be my campaign slogan manager,” Snow teased.
“I should! I am ripe with good advice! Hey, that was a good one, too! Well, it didn’t exactly rhyme but it was close enough.” Brittany leaned against the counter in their cozy cabin, her bare feet, the toes painted a pretty pastel pink as she rested them on the swollen wooden boards of the floor, ankles daintily crossed. She held a glass of chardonnay in her hand after wolfing down her second white Ding Dong, and judging from the smirk on her face and the way she eyed the food, she appeared to have no plans of slowing down. Perhaps it was that time of the month… They both glanced at their watches at the same time. “We better get going. Mr. Alex fine as wine Valentine is expecting you there.”
“I can’t believe I agreed to this shit. This is so stupid! Hide and Go Seek… Ugh!”
At this, her friend cackled.
“I think it’s sweet actually, Snow. You said you had a great time when you bumped into him earlier today. It seems to me he is turned on by your resistance.”
“Yes,” Snow said with a huff. “My angry, leave-me-alone bogus persona only urged him on. It backfired. He pretty much admitted that.”
“You’re a bear on the outside and a cupcake in the middle. He saw through you. Maybe it’s because he is the same way? They say opposites attract but I don’t know about that theory sometimes.”
“I hadn’t even thought that far, honestly. All I know is that he is probably a dog. He has a slick tongue and you know what they say about firemen… love ’em and leave ’em is their motto.”
“Maybe, maybe not but he’s fun at least!” Brittany shrugged and took another sip from her glass. Setting it down, she slid on her sneakers.
“I bet he sees everything as a game, a bet, a wager. Women aren’t probably even real to him… just a trophy to obtain.”
“Don’t you think you’re reading too much into this? You have an excuse for everything tonight. You’re making an entire psychological profile off a man you’ve known for all of sixty minutes.”
“With most guys all you need is sixty seconds,” Snow grumbled. “If I’d trusted my instincts and not ignored the flapping bright red flags, Hugh would’ve never stood a chance… son of a bitch.”
“That was then, this is now. You don’t see red flags; you see someone to take out your beef with mankind on. This guy hasn’t done anything as of yet to warrant your suspicion. Not all guys are habitual liars and cheaters, Snow. You know that! Come on.”
“Do I? I am really surprised at how trusting you are considering all you’ve been through. I mean, how can you trust anyone after your divorce with Larry? It is amazing to me how you just bounced back from that and now you’re trying to send me into the fire.”
“So dating and getting to know someone new means you’re being cast into the eternal flames of Chimaera? You were optimistic ab
out getting back into the dating game and now that this news has surfaced, you have done a complete one-eighty. One man’s mistake should not cause you to lose yourself and forget that you are not defined by the circumstances.”
The woman was right, but Snow refused to admit it. Instead, she grimaced, tucked herself away, and crossed her arms tightly over her chest. Brittany wasn’t deterred by this though.
“How can I trust anyone, Snow? I’ll tell you how,” she went on. “There are shitty people all over the damn place but you and I are not shitty people, so that means not everyone else who walks the planet is full of crap. This isn’t the apocalypse. There must be more people like us!”
They both burst out laughing, but Snow’s heart still ached. She couldn’t find the words to truly express the depth of her broken spirit. Perhaps her actions were doing it on her behalf.
“That’s how I trust, okay?” Brittany said softly. “Look, Larry wasn’t a bad man. We were just not good together and instead of him telling me he was done, he cheated. But it was over long before he had that emotional affair. I’ve forgiven him and don’t wish him any harm. What he did was awful, but I know him and his heart and we’ve all had our hearts broken, Snow. It happens! I still believe in love despite it all. I still believe in hope and the happily ever after, well, at least to some extent. We have to be realistic about these things but love is out there, okay. Don’t you believe the same? Have some faith.”
“I do have faith… I just don’t believe it will ever happen for me, Brittany. I feel so pathetic right now. I don’t feel like myself. It’s like everything I touch will turn to shit, dissolve, and break away like dust. I don’t deserve any happiness because stupidity should never be rewarded.”
“Oh, stop it, Snow! You sound ridiculous!”
“No, I’m serious, Brittany.” Snow threw up her hands in frustration, feeling vulnerable and crushed as she couldn’t seem to shake the idea of Hugh and Amber out of her mind. “Everyone says how strong I am. Well, you know what? I have to be like that in court and in the public but inside, the struggle is real. I feel weak and silly right now – how could I not know they were doing this right under my own nose? How foolish could I be? How could I not see the writing on the wall? I can’t believe Hugh did this to me? I didn’t even see it coming!”
“You were out of Hugh’s league. Not just career wise, but in personality and how you see life, too. This is not a knock against his occupation, but it’s unstable. He’s a forty-two-year-old record producer who is only known locally and he still believes he’s somehow going to get his big break. He was even relying on you at various points in time for income. Larry had financial bad luck a time or two, but we were married and he was the one that helped put me emotionally and financially through law school so it was a totally different scenario. We helped each other when we were down but with you and Hugh, well, you did most of the heavy lifting.”
Snow nodded in agreement. “You’re right.”
“Meanwhile, you’d been slaving away and working your behind off. He did the bare minimum while you looked higher for new challenges. When the wife is the main breadwinner and her able-bodied man jumps from job to job, she’ll feel used and resentful. Just like Erica, remember her?”
“Yeah,” Snow sighed. “Tony was a nice guy, too, but he just would not keep a job and every time he lost one, it was always someone else’s fault.”
“Right, and Hugh bounces around, too. I appreciate his hustle mentality, but he was still living his dream off your back and at the same time, not giving you enough time and attention. That wasn’t right. I liked Hugh, okay, so this isn’t anything personal, but I always worried about you two, you know, if you’d even make it. When you called off the engagement it came as no surprise to me. A part of me was relieved, but I didn’t have the heart to tell you that at the time. You knew deep down what I knew, too. He just wasn’t a good match for you, honey.”
A tear streaked Snow’s face. Not one of sorrow, but of realization of the truth after glossing over it for so long. This was the death she hadn’t yet accepted. As long as her and Hugh’s relationship continued on some level, that much needed truth never smacked her in the face, and the long overdue funeral never arrived, despite the odor of a stinking corpse and rotting flowers.
“You need someone who can keep you on your toes and encourage you to keep striving, someone who isn’t intimidated by your personality or your success. You need someone who is as strong as you, Snow. You just haven’t found him yet. You’re human; everyone is allowed a weak moment as you put it, but you’ve got to process this and not make it personal. What Hugh did had nothing to do with you, okay? Regardless of what excuses he gives. The man for you is out there… just give it time and someone else a chance.”
Snow huffed and hung her head. “Thank you so much for talking to me… for, I don’t know, telling me what I already knew but needed to hear. The thing is, Brittany, Hugh and I have been done and over with and just friends for a while now as you know, so you’d think the least he could’ve done was come clean with me. But no, I had to find out from a drunken backstabber just how low they both could go. There’s layers to this pain and betrayal, you know? I could have handled the cheating, but the double whammy…” She shook her head as more tears fell. “That was just too much.” Brittany snatched a tissue from a box and handed it to her.
“As far as I’m concerned, men are all alike—wolves in sheep clothing. I know that you say there are good ones out there, and I know I am speaking from anger. My heart is screaming. Logically, I know what I am saying probably isn’t true, but I can’t help it right now, Brit, I just can’t. I don’t want shit to do with any of them! This guy tonight, Alex, I just want him to go away. I didn’t come here to meet someone. I came here to get away from Hugh, the press and everything really. But he… he is so nice, and maybe a year or two from now things could be different… Hell, I don’t know.”
Brittany placed the bottle of wine back in the refrigerator, then came back to her, shaking her head.
“I’ve never seen you this suspicious. It’s alarming, Snow. This has to stop.” Snow sighed again. This totally sucked… this funk she was in was killing her. She knew her friend was right, but her heart hurt so badly and now fresh anger brewed. Not just because Hugh had screwed one of her so-called friends, but the blatant betrayal… he’d smiled and pretended to care, while acting underhandedly. “You are here so you can relax, let this go and move on. This man who’s been chasing you since the wee hours of the morning is here for rest and relaxation as he said, for fun, okay? People don’t come here to sleep or bask in their misery. They come here to run, play, unwind and laugh… become one with nature. You love spending time here.”
“You really don’t know what his motives are for being here though, Brittany. As an attorney yourself, you are fully aware of motivation and provocation.”
And what if he sees me as some sort of fetish? A piece of Black ass to add to his collection? That worried Snow, too, but she didn’t have the energy right then to try and explain it to Brittany. The woman simply may not understand such a thing. Perhaps she’d try later for it couldn’t hurt. They were so close she wasn’t concerned about offending Brittany, but she was worried that her own fears regarding a White man pursuing her so hard and heavy could have other implications. What those could be, she wasn’t certain.
“What do you expect the man to be doing then, Snow?” Brittany tossed up her hands as if exhausted with her. “He was out kayaking with his friends, saw us, and you struck his interest so he approached you. What was he supposed to do? Ignore you and opt for drawing etchings of naked Roman women holding vases on a cabin wall?” She giggled.
Snow got to her feet, grabbing her jacket. “Okay then, let’s head out so I can get this shit over with. The temperature is going to drop tonight, so you should probably bring yours, too.” Brittany took heed and snatched her windbreaker from the back of a nearby chair. “All right, are you ready to get
this silly show on the road?”
“I sure am and I just hope you are, too. I like him, and if he liked me half as much as he likes you, I’d be all over that man like bark on a limb.” Brittany grabbed her jeep keys and phone and hightailed it towards the front door as if she were a woman on a mission.
“So ridiculous… grown folk out here playin’ Hide and Go Seek!” Snow mumbled under her breath, pouting like a child.
“When he finds you, scream “I’m on fiiiire! Put out my passion with your long, wet tongue!”
Snow burst out laughing and playfully slapped her friend on the shoulder as they made their way to her untimely death…
CHAPTER SEVEN
Child’s Play
“Alex is chasin’ women instead of these flames! Gotta date already and we haven’t even grabbed our fishing poles for the day. Guess he’ll be grabbin’ his though and he already caught his catch of the day!” Robert teased, a greasy smile smeared across his face as he lit the bonfire on the campgrounds. The snapping twigs and heat from the flames began a tune he was all too familiar with. Alex glared down at his phone and grinned. It was playtime.
“She texted me. I gotta go. I’ll catch up with you all later.”
“Yeah, right. We won’t see you till the morning. You’re not one to walk away from an open pair of legs.”
He wanted to tell Rob a thing or two, ask him what the hell his problem was, perhaps have a good old-fashioned cutthroat argument and let him know just how much of a pain in the ass he was at times, but he didn’t wish to exert the energy on such a small, insignificant individual. Besides, he refused to allow the likes of that clown to ruin his fun. He tossed Joshua his keys and made his way to the bike path, his feet pounding on the ground. Though the sun still smiled through the clouds, daylight was fading fast. He patted his pocket for his flashlight, took out his phone, and texted her.