by S. L. Scott
Grace took her hand, so she had one of each other in theirs. “We’re in this together and realizing I can even say that, that I have people in my life, means more to me than you’ll ever know.”
The three of them settled in at the breakfast table with coffee and homemade scones. Grace smiled, remembering Ben had mentioned what a bad cook Pamela was. She had no comparison but the scones reminded her of rocks. She politely picked at it so Pamela wouldn’t consider her ungrateful.
Pamela told Grace how they had inherited the home from her mother when she passed away. Grace was nine at the time. They loved coming here, the peaceful environment, and decided to move in when Grace was ten.
“We tried for years to have more children, to give you a brother or sister, but it just wasn’t in the cards for us.” Pamela poured Grace a glass of water, and Grace wondered if she knew she needed it to swallow down that scone. “You were lonely, and I felt responsible.”
John rubbed Pamela’s back when she sat down. Grace noticed the mood change and figured it was probably tainted by memories she’d rather forget. Much like Grace.
He tucked her under his arm and kissed her on the cheek. “You’re not to blame, honey. Neither of us are. It’s how it was meant to be.” Turning to Grace, he smiled. “We have Grace back.” Then he picked up where his wife left off. “When we moved here, it gave us a new start. We didn’t worry about what we didn’t have. We started appreciating what we did. This house was a blessing in so many ways. Our neighbors, the Edwards, have a lot to do with that too. The kids kept you from feeling lonely. Little Emily with her banged-up knees and competitive spirit. She was such a tomboy. She taught you how to fish and climb a tree. Soon we were bandaging you up alongside her. I almost cut down that spruce out back when she broke her arm falling from it.”
Pamela laughed along with Grace and John and then said, “Ben.” She sighed with a smile. “I think he loved you the minute he saw you.” Grace looked down at her coffee afraid they’d see her blush from the mere mention of him. Guess it was obvious because Pamela added, “It took you four years to see what we all saw immediately. His sister fell from that tree, but he got you down before running to get her help.” Pamela laughed. “He was so protective of you.”
“He still is,” Grace said without pause.
The glance her parents shared wasn’t missed. Neither was the smile. As they continued to recount stories of her childhood, Grace looked out the bay window that overlooked a large lawn leading to a lake. Ben was standing at the edge of the water. Her heart quickened remembering their heated kisses and how she would have gone so much further if he hadn’t stopped them.
It seemed the more she learned about herself, the more she learned how tied she was to Ben. Her whole existence seemed to be entwined with his. Feeling so alone the last three years, it now seemed to make sense. She’d lost her soul mate. She found strength and comfort knowing someone was so passionately on her side before her accident. Now that he’d found her, he was doing everything for her, dropping everything in his life for her. Living again because she did.
Over lunch the day before, Emily told Grace that Ben was no longer with Rebecca. Even though it had only been a few days since the awards dinner, she could barely remember Ben’s date. She’d been so thrown by the sight of Ben storming over to her and Hunter’s odd possessiveness. The rest of the night was a blur.
Ben’s feelings for her were pure and honest, but she was still surprised to hear that he was so willing to give up everything for her, including someone he was close to. She smiled to herself, not because he had broken up with his girlfriend for her, but because she knew why. True love. Ben Edwards had to be the most romantic man she had ever met, and he loved her.
Ben didn’t hide his feelings. He may be careful around her, but he didn’t hide them, and she loved that.
Pamela and John brought out yearbooks and photo albums, reminders of her previous life. As she flipped through one of the yearbooks, her thoughts blurred. She closed her eyes and saw a sea of people in a large room clapping and cheering. Warmth raced through her veins as the imagery became clear as her present days . . .
Ben. “You’ll always be my queen. I love you.”
. . . Bright light came rushing back and she blinked her eyes rapidly before sucking in a deep, but gasping breath. Pamela and John were standing, concerned when they came into focus. As their voices became sharper, she understood them. “Grace? Grace? Honey?”
“I just—” She paused to steady her thoughts, her words, and her breathing. “I just had a memory, I think.”
Her parents sat back down keeping their hands on each of Grace’s. “What was it?” John went into work mode, knowing he had to question a witness immediately after or they tended to confuse and alter what they thought they remembered. “What did you see?”
“Ben was wearing a gold crown on his head,” Grace started, using her hand to circle the top of her head in demonstration. “We were in front of a lot of people clapping—”
“Like this? Was this your memory?” Pamela asked, flipping through the yearbook on the table in front of her daughter. She found the page she was looking for and pointed down, Grace’s eyes following her finger.
Grace’s hand covered her mouth in amazement and her eyes filled again. “Yes, that’s it.”
“You were sweethearts for as long as, well, forever. Your senior year you won Homecoming King and Queen. You were so surprised,” Pamela laughed, “but no one in Leavenworth was.”
Grace continued looking at the yearbook photo of her and Ben up on the stage, smiling. Ben’s hand was around her waist and he was looking at her. In the photo, Grace wore a tiara and looked so happy. She could even see the pink across her cheeks in the picture matching the heat she felt now. Grace laughed, easing the tension from the moment before.
Pamela finally suggested they go into the living room, and as Grace trailed behind her, her father followed closely behind. As Grace walked she could feel the love in this house and its belongings. There were pictures all over the walls, and as she trailed her finger along the back of the couch and over an afghan that was draped there, John said, “You and your grandmother made that blanket. She came over to our house almost every day one summer. She kept you while we worked. I think you were eight at the time.”
Pamela added, “It was the last summer before she died. You two had a great friendship and bond. You would have never known that there was a fifty-seven-year age difference.” Pamela laughed quietly to herself in reflection. With sudden enthusiasm, she offered, “You should take this back with you, or we can bring it to you, or mail it if you prefer.” Pamela’s disappointment could be heard in the last part.
Grace took the blanket and held it to her chest. “We’re only here for a couple of nights. I have to go back to Chicago to handle . . . life, but I’ll be back and very soon. We won’t be apart for long. I promise you. I want to spend more time with both of you, here, if that’s not to presumptuous?”
“No, no, it’s not at all. You are always welcome here for as long as you like, Grace. Please. Please, we want you to come back home as much as possible,” Pamela said, tears filling her eyes again as she wrapped her arms around her.
“Grace, we’re just so thankful to have you back,” John added, embracing them both again.
When what felt like the twentieth round of tears dried, Grace, in a small voice, asked, “You have very nice names, but I feel weird calling you Pamela and John when you’re my parents. May I call you Mom and Dad?”
The twenty-first round of tears fell. “Yes. We’d love that,” her mother replied.
In the living room, Grace sat on the couch with her father. “I was wondering if I could talk to you about the accident. I’m not sure what kind of law you practice, but maybe you can help me sort through some stuff I’ve recently discovered.”
As she discussed the details of her accident, of how Hunter saved her, of the ring, the flyers, all of it, Pamela had to exc
use herself after confessing how much hearing the details upset her. Before she left, she said, “I’m going to make lunch, but I want to say something about the man waiting outside by the lake.”
“All right,” Grace replied, glancing at Ben once again.
“I’ve watched him grow from a boy to a man. He’s the one who used to pick daisies for you, and me, on his walk through the field on the path between our homes. He’s the one who watched over you from the minute he met you. He’s the one who held your heart and treasured it, and unsurprisingly, he’s the one who brought you back to us. I don’t know how you feel about him, if you can remember how much you loved him or how much he loves you, but I will forever be grateful to him. We lost hope, but he held on to it and found you. When we were too broken, he was the one who never gave up, so please, whatever happens or doesn’t happen between you two, remember to treat Ben kindly. You’re holding his heart in your hands.”
Silently agreeing, Grace felt her own heart stuck in her throat. The gravity of what was happening, the life-changing events of the last few days weighed heavily on her every waking minute. She could never, not ever, treat him less than kind, but how do you repay the man who has given you everything and asks for nothing other than a chance?
The answer was obvious. Felt deep in that heart of hers. She would give him love.
Love him in return.
21
Ben Edwards
Grace never knew how many times Ben waited for her out back like this, he thought, letting the blue sky spin above him. She didn’t know how many times he’d spun on this tire swing hanging from the large spruce to pass the time, or how many times he’d spun her until she was dizzy and laughing. She was completely unaware of how many times he came by the winter she started having nightmares. He would check on her nightly, sitting outside just in case she needed him. Despite the darkness and the weather, he was there for her every night that winter. The rest of the years, he was there every day. His love for Grace Elizabeth Stevens was deep, and true, and never-ending.
Still so deep, so true, and never-ending. He wanted to tell her. He wanted to remind her of what she meant to him and what he had meant to her. After last night, he sensed she was feeling some of their love. He wasn’t willing to let her leave until he knew whether or not she could love him again. Judging by the last week, that was something neither he nor she was ready to concede.
Closing his eyes, he slumped forward as the tire spun rapidly around on the three chains that held it. For a brief second he was with her again, hovering over her, kissing her, and she remembered who he was and knew who she was. The tire unwound and jolted on the twisting chain. He held on, but he still felt sick as he opened his eyes and came back to the reality that she may never remember.
He put his feet down and looked toward the house. You wouldn’t know anything special was going on by looking at it. But there was; Pamela and John Stevens got their daughter back today. As much as that made him smile, it made his heart ache. They would forever have her no matter what she decided regarding Ben. He was a bit envious of their guaranteed relationship because there was a strong possibility he could lose her, even though she told him she left Barnes. He certainly wasn’t sure how she’d react once he told her the truth about Hunter Barnes. Maybe she wouldn’t want Ben either, and that sickened him even more than the swing had.
At the edge of the water, Ben picked up a round, flat stone and skipped it across the top. The ripple was minor as it skimmed the surface and then sank.
He sat down on the grass and wondered: Was that what he was doing? Was he skimming the surface of her life, hoping that finding her memories would bring her back to him? He had been taking baby steps this week to let things happen naturally, always careful to not scare her. But maybe it was time to plunge in feet first. He knew she liked him, and physically they were intense, but could she love him?
“Ben?”
He looked over his shoulder and saw Pamela standing a few feet away. Standing, he turned around, dusting the grass off his backside. It was obvious and expected she had been crying, and she held her arms out for him. He walked forward, and as he took his second mother into his arms, she cried, “You did it. You brought her back to us.” She lowered her face against his shoulder, still holding him tight, and said, “I knew if anyone’s love was strong enough to bring someone back to life, it was yours. Thank you.” She laughed. “I only came out here to invite you in for lunch, and here I am a complete mess again.”
“I know the feeling,” he said in an attempt to reassure her. He did know.
She wrapped her arm around his and they went inside. John was at the table in the breakfast room. He held his hand out silently as if unable to speak. Ben had come to understand the stoicism that John seemed to wear boldly on his face. They shook hands, but then John pulled Ben into a tight hug. “Thank you, son. Thank you for bringing Grace back to us.”
“You’re welcome, sir.”
As they parted, John took a better look at Ben. “Chicago hasn’t treated you too well. You need to get back to Leavenworth, or Seattle would be even better. Be closer to family again. You look worn out.”
Ben smiled, shifting a bit in his stance. “I am worn out. It’s been a long time since I felt like myself, and my body is just now catching up to the new turn of events.”
Both Pamela and John smiled and nodded their heads in understanding. Grace’s disappearance had taken a toll on all of them. Sadness had drawn deep lines into their faces. Desperation highlighted the anguish that had crushed them three years ago. The smiles they wore now came more naturally to them, and he could appreciate his role in that emotional reversal.
“Hey there.”
Ben turned toward the doorway to find Grace standing there. It was funny how every time he looked at her he was stunned she was there before him. He wondered if he would ever get used to it, to her being there again, or if she would remain a figment of his imagination before his mind caught up. Angel seemed more fitting though.
“Hey,” he said, walking to her. Taking her hands, they stepped outside the kitchen and he asked, “It’s going well?”
Grace nodded and whispered, “They’re wonderful. My mom showed me this huge photo album and a video of me in tap dance class.” Pulling him closer, her excitement grew. “I feel close to them already. Like a seventh sense has kicked in.”
“Your instincts know. Your heart knows.”
“Like with you.”
His smile came fast while his hand glided up her arm. “Do you believe that?”
“I feel it.”
Pamela was loud, the hint taken. “I’ll finish plating the food and set the table. Why don’t you two go up to your room and look around.” Pamela laughed, turning to John. “Never thought I’d actually be offering to let those two hang out alone in her bedroom.”
Ben walked past Grace and angled his head toward the stairs. “It’s up here. I’ll show you.”
Grace followed him up the creaking stairs and said, “These stairs probably made it tough to sneak out.”
Ben burst out laughing, hearing a lot of the old Grace in that comment. “That’s why we didn’t use the stairs.” He darted to the top, went to the last door on the left, and opened it. “After you.”
When Grace walked in she turned in a circle taking in the entire room. Her eyes dashed around the four walls as she absorbed her surroundings. The bed had been stripped with her comforter folded at the end. He could see where some posters or other things had been taken down. It was as if her parents had started to remove her teenage presence but had stopped . . . Given she hadn’t lived there for at least six years, and especially that she had been gone for three in their minds, he was surprised so much of it still existed. “It feels like me. A me I’m not allowed to be in so many ways.”
“What do you mean?”
“There’s not just one style. It’s a little cluttered with memorabilia and photos on the wall. You can see the evolution of a lif
e in this room. It’s personal almost like we’re invading it.”
“It’s your life. Not an invasion.”
Her eyes made contact with his. “It feels hopeful. Was I hopeful, Ben?”
“You were ready to take on the world.”
“It’s funny because now, I don’t need the world.”
“What do you need?”
“A place to call home.”
“Let me be that for you.”
Although just four feet, at most, separated them, they kept their eyes latched on each other. “The door to my heart is open. Please don’t hurt me, okay?”
Ben kept the distance between them, and glanced down. He’d been hurt, but not by her, and not on purpose. When he looked back up, he just said, “Okay.” It was the truth straight from his heart.
Going to him, she lifted up and wrapped her arms around him. Her breath blew across his neck and when he held her, she followed it with a kiss. “You’re always so sure of us.”
“Yeah. I always have been. Don’t hurt me, okay?”
She was changing. He could see it. He could see Jane becoming Grace again even if she didn’t. “Okay.” She moved with ease around the room and opened the closet.
Ben lay down on the bed like he owned the place. It was a bed he’d spent a lot of time in. There was no shame in his game when it came to the facts.
Peeking over at him, she joked, “Make yourself at home, why don’t ya?”
“This was my second home and this bed . . .” He bounced on it for emphasis. “Well, maybe you’re too young to hear about the kind of things that happened here.”
Totally intrigued, she pointed at the bed. “We did? In here? With my parents nearby?”
“Many times.” Ben put his arms behind his head as if he was reliving the glory days. He hoped they wouldn’t just remain past glory days. More than anything, he wanted to make new memories with Grace.