“You think there are a lot of feet-sweepers out there?” Vi asked.
“Definitely.” Lena nodded. “Feet sweepers. Stomach tinglers. Hand sweaters.”
Vi wrinkled her nose. “Sounds messy.”
Lena laughed. “I don't know, Vi. I can't tell you what to do . . .”
“But . . .” Vi said.
“But,” she repeated with a smile. “Maybe Liam's not the guy.”
Vi considered that, swallowing a mouthful of coffee. “I'm being stupid,” she said, setting her cup on the table. “He's perfect for me. He's sweet. Smart. Reliable.”
“You make him sound like a golden retriever,” Lena said dryly.
Vi threw a wadded up napkin at her. “The point is, I'm being dumb,” she said. “I should just go to the ball and stop stressing about all this.”
“You really should,” Lena agreed. “It's not like you're committing your life to the guy. And if it doesn't work out, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.”
Vi snorted. “Oh yeah? Where?” Holiday Junction wasn't exactly a hopping singles scene.
“Maybe right under your nose,” Lena said with a mysterious smile, lifting her cup to take another sip.
“Speaking of right under your nose,” Vi said, eyeing Lena warily. “I did something that might make you mad.”
“What did you do?”
She chewed on her lip. “I tried to get Kade to ask you to the ball so we could double date.”
Lena choked on her coffee. “Kade?”
Vi winced. “You're not mad, are you?”
She grabbed a napkin and wiped her mouth. “No, I'm not mad. But why would you try to get Kade to ask me?”
“Well, you know, with how you feel about him—”
“How I feel about him?” She gaped.
“And how he feels about you—”
“How he feels about me? Whoa. Back up a second.” Lena set aside her coffee cup and leaned her elbows on the table. “You think I'm interested in Kade?”
“Well, yeah . . . aren't you?” Vi was getting seriously confused.
“No!” Lena laughed. “Why in the world would you think that?”
“Well—” Vi thought back. “I saw you talking . . . and laughing. And then he was at the ice cream shop . . .”
Lena looked at Vi like she was crazy. “And that led you to believe I had a crush on Kade? You and I talk and laugh and you come to the shop. That doesn't mean I have a crush on you!”
Vi was suddenly questioning everything. “But I thought—” She frowned. “Kade will be devastated.”
Lena burst out laughing. “Oh, I seriously doubt that,” she said. “Believe me, Kade has absolutely no interest in me.”
“But—”
Lena held up a hand. “This time, there is definitely no but,” she said. “I don't know where you get these crazy ideas, but there is absolutely nothing between Kade and me. Nothing.”
“Huh.” Vi slumped back in her chair, not understanding how she could have got everything so wrong. “But he said there was someone he was interested in who was interested in someone else. And then when I asked you if that person might be interested, you said yes, so what was that all about?”
Lena only blinked. “Violet, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.”
“Huh,” Vi said again. “Maybe I should talk to Kade about this.”
At that, Lena smiled. “That's an excellent idea. You should definitely talk to Kade.”
Later that evening, Kade sat on his porch swing, feet propped up on the railing as he strummed his guitar idly. The sky was a clear, indigo blue with a full moon hanging low on the horizon. It was cool, but not freezing, and with the little electric heater running at his feet, he was warm enough. A notepad lay next to him on the swing, scribbled lyrics filling a page, some lines crossed out, others altered so many times he could barely read them anymore.
It didn't matter. Once Kade settled on a lyric, it became part of him. The song burned into his memory like a brand. He remembered every word of every song he'd ever written.
He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, humming along quietly as he played. The song he'd been working on floated through his mind and he sang quietly.
You're right beside me, but so far away
In my arms, but not here to stay
La la la, something something—he was still working on that line.
I've been here all along
“What's that?” a quiet voice asked, and he jerked his head up in surprise. Vi stood leaning on the rail next to his feet. He hadn't heard her approach. She was dressed in jeans and a big lumpy sweater; a blanket over her shoulders.
“Sorry,” she said. “Didn't mean to intrude.”
“No.” He pulled his feet down and sat up. “It's fine. Just working on something new.”
She picked up the notebook, but to her credit, didn't look at it before she handed it to him so she could sit next to him, wrapping the blanket tighter around her. “Could I hear some more?”
After all his years songwriting, Kade had overcome any fear of people criticizing his work. And Vi had heard him sing many times. But to have her hear this particular song? Well, it made him more than a little nervous.
“You don't have to,” she said quietly.
“No, it's okay,” he replied. He strummed a chord and sang what he had so far. A song about loving someone from afar. A song about watching that person walk away.
A song about Vi.
He finished and picked the strings quietly. “That's all I have so far.”
Vi smiled. “It's beautiful,” she said.
“Well, it's no I'm so, so, so, so sorry, but . . .” He shrugged, hoping she wasn't reading too much into it.
She laughed, then leaned her head on the back of the swing, studying him. “It's sad, though.”
“They like the sad ones.” He strummed the chords again and this time, Vi sang the chorus, her voice carrying out clear and strong.
“Not bad,” he said once she finished.
She only smiled in response.
“You ever miss it? Performing?” He picked out some quick scales and Vi smirked.
“Showoff.” She leaned back and pushed the swing, her toe brushing the floor. “Sometimes I do miss it,” she said. “But, I don't know. I'm not sure New York is right for me.”
Kade nearly dropped the guitar. “L.A. then?”
“I don't know anymore.” She looked up at him and his breath caught. “To be honest, I'm not sure where I belong.”
“You belong here,” he said, strumming again in a vain attempt to calm his nerves. “You know that, right?”
She hummed in response. “I could do community theater.”
“Or I could write you a song to record, and you could become a big star,” he offered.
Vi laughed. “From your lips to God's ears.” She tucked the blanket more firmly around her legs. “It's just the longer I'm here, the more I feel connected, you know? Like I’m home.”
“It is home.”
“Yeah.” She yawned and closed her eyes. Kade kept playing and he thought she might have fallen asleep, but after a few minutes she poked him lightly. “Can I ask you something?”
He shrugged a shoulder. “Sure.”
“When I first got back, you said you were interested in someone, but that she was interested in someone else.”
He could feel her watching him but didn't look at her. “Yeah.”
“At first I thought it was Lena.”
Kade's fingers fumbled on the strings and he laughed in surprise. “Lena?” He looked at her then, but her eyes were still closed. “So that's why you wanted me to ask her to the ball.”
She smiled, and her eyes fluttered open. “I thought it would be fun. Two of my best friends doubling with me and Liam.”
Liam. Right.
Kade had almost forgotten about him in his excitement about Vi staying in town. But even if she did, it would be for Liam.
“So . . . if it's not Lena, who is it?” she asked.
And this was his chance, wasn't it? His chance to tell her how he felt. His chance to ask her to pick him.
His chance to chicken out like a big, fat, chicken.
He started to play again, bowing his head to look at the strings, and hide his expression. “It's no one you know,” he said. “She's from out of town.”
“Hmm . . . a city girl? Not really your type.”
“Exactly,” he murmured, plucking out a new rhythm. “Don't worry about me, though. I'm sure the right one will come along.”
“Of course she will,” Vi agreed. “And we'll have plenty of double dates.”
Kade fought down the heavy feeling in his heart and forced a grin. “Maybe even a double wedding. And our kids will play together and—” He broke off at Vi's stricken expression. “Vi, what is it?”
She sat up and swallowed thickly, wiping at her eyes.
“Oh my—are you crying?” Kade set the guitar aside and reached for her. “Vi, what is it?”
“I'm sorry,” she said, inhaling sharply. “I'm fine, really.”
“Obviously you're not,” Kade pulled away slightly, pushing her hair back from her face. “What's wrong?”
“It's been months. I've been fine,” she said firmly, and Kade wasn't sure if she was talking to him or herself. “I can't believe I'm falling apart like this.”
“Vi, you're scaring me,” he said, holding her face so he could meet her gaze. “What happened?”
She moved away and he let her go but held fast to her hand. She swiped the other across her face, taking a few deep breaths. He let her compose herself, and after a few minutes, she squeezed his hand and started to speak.
“I told you about Ben,” she said.
“Jerk,” Kade spat before he could think better of it. Then he winced. “Sorry.”
The corners of Vi's mouth lifted. “No need. He is a jerk.”
“Is that what you're so upset about?” he asked gently. “Are you missing Ben?”
Vi snorted. “No. That's—no, it's not Ben.” She leaned back and started to swing again. “I was pregnant.” She let out a heavy breath. “Wow, I’ve never said that out loud to anyone but my mom.”
Kade froze, shocked. “Oh, Vi—”
“I didn't want to tell Ben until I had it confirmed by a doctor,” she said, her voice quiet, calm as she looked out over the front yard. “I found out and I was so excited. I thought we were going to get married and be a family and—” She shot a glance at Kade. “Well, that didn't work out so well.”
“I didn't even get a chance to tell him,” she said. “He told me he was in love with someone else and we were done. I told him later, of course. After I got over the initial shock, I figured he had to know, but—” She shook her head.
Kade's gut churned with rage. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. “I'm so sorry, Vi.”
He wasn't sure she heard him. “I was devastated, of course. I cried and raged and man, I hated Ben for a while.”
“I don't blame you.”
She huffed out a laugh. “But then I decided I was going to come home. I knew Mom would help me with the baby. I'd get back on my feet. Build a life for us.” She broke off, her hand flying to her mouth. “But I lost the baby a month later.” Tears glistened in her eyes and he couldn't bear it any longer. He slid closer to her and wrapped his arms around her, his cheek pressed against her hair.
“I'm so sorry, Vi.”
She shuddered against him and he held her tighter. He wasn't sure how long they sat there, Vi silently weeping as he stroked her hair, but after a while, she pulled away and wiped her cheeks.
“Sorry,” she said. “I don't know where that came from.”
Kade reached out to touch her cheek. “Don't be sorry. It sounds like something you've been holding onto for a while.”
She nodded, wiping her eyes. “Thanks for listening.”
Kade pulled her close again. “Are you kidding? Always, Vi. I'll always listen.”
“I know.” She squeezed him, then let him go, settling back against the swing. “I should go home and go to bed.”
“Okay.”
“But do you think you can play for me a little longer?” she asked. “Maybe something happy?”
He picked up the guitar and smiled, tapping her on the nose. “You got it.”
Kade played and sang, until Violet finally smiled and began to sing along.
After such an emotional evening, Vi should have been exhausted, but she slept well Wednesday night, and woke with the sun Thursday morning. She felt lighter than she had in months, and although she knew losing the baby would stick with her forever, sharing her pain with Kade had helped. He hadn't offered any platitudes or pity. He'd just held her while she cried and it turns out, that was exactly what she needed.
Vi was already in the kitchen with coffee brewing and eggs on the stove when Lou walked in, still in her pajamas.
“Well, you look bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning,” Lou observed, pouring herself a cup of coffee.
Vi dished the eggs onto two plates and handed one to her mom. “I do feel pretty bushy tailed, thanks.”
“What happened?” They sat down at the breakfast bar, and Vi took a bite before responding.
“I told Kade about the baby last night,” she said, the memory still choking her up a bit.
Lou set her fork down. “You did?”
Vi sipped some juice and took a deep breath. “Yeah, I kind of had an emotional moment, and it all came out,” she said. “But I think it was good. I feel better.”
Lou reached out and squeezed her hand. “I'm glad.” Vi knew her mom had been worried about her, even if she didn't press. Lou had known everything, of course, had flown to New York when it happened, despite Vi’s insistence she didn’t need to. Lou had been there for Vi, as only a mom could be. But since then, Vi hadn't wanted to discuss it, and Lou had respected that.
“Are you okay?” her mom asked, watching her closely.
Vi smiled. “Yeah, I think I am,” she replied. “Or I will be, you know?”
Lou patted her hand and went back to her eggs.
Vi spread strawberry jam on her toast. “We went by the Beavers Lodge. I can't believe how beautiful it is now.”
“They did a nice job, didn't they?” Lou brushed some crumbs off her fingers.
“They did,” Vi agreed. “It's going to be so pretty once it's all decorated for the ball.”
“That's the plan,” Lou said. “Are you excited about going with Liam?”
“Of course,” she said. “It's going to be a lot of fun.”
Vi could feel Lou's eyes on her, so she focused on her toast, taking a big bite.
“How are things going with Liam?”
“Great!” She smiled brightly. “Really good. Liam's . . . he's great.”
Lou arched a brow. “You said that.”
Vi pushed her eggs around on her plate. “Well, he is. And things are going well. He's so sweet to me. I love spending time with him.”
“That sounds like a good thing.”
Vi nodded. “It is. Liam's perfect for me. He always has been.”
“So . . . what's the problem?” Lou asked, pushing her plate away and picking up her coffee cup.
“There's no problem, really,” Vi replied. “It's just something he said to me has kind of been bothering me a little. Kade mentioned it, too.” She turned to face her mom. “Do you think I'm trying to live in the past?”
Lou squinted slightly. “What do you mean?”
Vi inhaled and blew out slowly. “I don't know. Living in my old room. Dating my old boyfriend. Do you think it's weird?”
“Weird? No.” Lou shook her head. “But what I think doesn't matter. What do you think?”
And that was the rub, wasn't it? Because Violet didn't know what to think. But maybe talking it out with her mom would help her figure it out.
“I loved Liam in high school,” she said, stirring her coffee. “And I know everyone thinks I dumped him, so I'm the bad guy—”
“I don't,” Lou said, holding up a finger.
The corner of Vi's mouth lifted. “Thanks, but a lot of people do. And I get that.” She set her cup on the counter and turned it slowly. “But it was hard for me, too, you know? I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. We were so young, and our dreams were leading us in different directions.”
“Do you regret it?” Lou asked.
She looked over at her mom. “I don't regret doing it. I do regret hurting him.”
Lou pressed her lips together and bowed her head in understanding.
Vi checked the clock. “Shoot. I have to get to work.” She got up and carried the plates to the sink.
“And I should shower,” Lou said, but she pulled Vi into a hug as she passed her.
“I can't tell you what to do,” she said, holding her tight. “But let me give you one word of advice.” She pulled back and took Vi's face between her hands.
“Make sure you're with Liam now because you're crazy about him now, and not because you're trying to make up for what you put him through then.” She smiled and kissed Vi's cheek. “Okay?”
Vi nodded. “Okay, Mom.”
Lou patted her shoulder and left the room and Vi stared out the kitchen window for a moment, pondering her mother's words, before she headed off to work and tried to put it all out of her mind for a little while.
Friday afternoon, the ballroom at the Beavers Lodge was buzzing with activity. Volunteers were unloading boxes of decorations, stringing garland, and setting up tables and chairs when Kade and Vi arrived after school. Vi had been uncharacteristically quiet on the ride over. As a matter of fact, she'd been pretty quiet ever since she told Kade about the baby Wednesday night, but he hadn't pushed. She'd been through a lot and he just wanted to be there for her in whatever way she needed him.
He glanced at her as they walked over to the table where Lou was directing traffic. She looked—well, great, to be honest. Fresh faced and relaxed in a pair of jeans and a fuzzy red sweater.
Violet's Valentine: A Clean Friends to Lovers Romance (Love in Holiday Junction Book 1) Page 13