by Donna Grant
“Only so Galen doesn’t get it,” Cara joked.
Larena scratched her chin with the back of her hand. “Poor Galen. Everyone teases him so.”
The hours flew by as Isla stayed in the kitchen and listened to the conversation. Occasionally she would speak, but mostly she listened. There was much laughter, much teasing, and obvious love between all of them.
And to have been included brought a longing to Isla she didn’t want to feel.
The hope swelling within her, the inclusion in the MacLeod “family,” and her fascination with Hayden could only spell one thing: disaster.
TWELVE
The day passed in a blur for Isla. She was so occupied with making herself useful to the others she didn’t realize how fast the day was going until supper arrived.
With three of their members gone, the tables seemed to lack something. Hayden was one of four others who decided to continue to work on the cottages instead of stopping to eat.
Isla hated to admit that she missed being able to look at him. It was shameful, her need to gaze upon him and his sculpted body.
It wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen her fair share of handsome men, but with Hayden it was more than just his good looking face. It was him, the man. His manner.
It was a good thing she had never encountered Hayden while in Cairn Toul. If Deirdre ever discovered Isla’s interest in Hayden … Isla shuddered just thinking about it.
When they finished cleaning the table Isla looked up to find Cara smiling at her.
“Are you ready to see your new chamber?” Cara asked.
Lucan walked up behind her and put his hands on Cara’s shoulders. “She’s wanted to show you ever since I brought the bed up.”
“I would love to see it,” Isla said.
Cara hurried to the steps with Lucan not far behind her. Isla followed them both up the stairs to the second-floor corridor.
“It isn’t much,” Cara explained as she glanced back over her shoulder at Isla. “I can get more furniture to the tower soon.”
“It will be perfect,” Isla said, hoping it soothed Cara’s anxiety.
Lucan smiled at his wife, the love shining in his eyes for the world to see.
When they reached the entrance to the tower after many twists and turns, Isla looked up the winding staircase.
“It’s a beautiful view,” Lucan said. “Cara was right to pick this tower.”
Cara wrinkled her nose. “It never occurred to me to make the towers into chambers before. That gives us three more chambers if need be.”
Lucan laughed and motioned Isla forward. “Your new chamber awaits.”
Isla licked her lips and placed her foot on the first step. The stairs coiled high above her, nearly making her dizzy. She reached the top and opened the door to find a round chamber with the bed opposite the window and a small table beside the bed. There was a lone chair and a chest for her clothes.
“It isn’t much, I know. I’m mending a tapestry I found that I can hang above the bed,” Cara said, her voice low and sorrowful.
Isla turned and looked at her. “This is perfect, Cara. Thank you. I need nothing else.”
Cara’s smile was blinding as joy swept over her face. “I have a couple of other gowns I’m mending to fit you.”
“You do too much.”
“We take care of ours,” Lucan said and wrapped an arm around Cara’s shoulders.
Isla nodded, her throat thick with emotion. She didn’t have the words anyway.
“We’ll leave you now,” Lucan said. “Let us know if you need anything.”
Once alone, Isla turned to face her chamber. She ran her hand over the comb and hand mirror that had been placed on the bedside table.
She lowered herself onto her bed and just sat there. This was her chamber, not one loaned to her, but hers while she was at the castle. She hoped her stay would be a long one, but Isla feared Deirdre would gain her powers sooner than expected.
But until then, Isla had found a home. Her first true home in over five centuries.
It was dark and well past supper when Hayden made his way to the castle. He didn’t see Isla in the hall or the kitchens where he stopped to grab cold meat and bread.
He didn’t like that he searched for her, but he couldn’t prevent the concern for where she was and what she was doing. She might be trying to harm the others, or at least that was the excuse he used for his feelings. She hadn’t been on the cliffs, that he knew since he had searched. She had to be somewhere in the castle.
Hayden finished his meal and made his way to his chamber. He would just check on Isla to make sure she didn’t need anything. Then he would take a swim in the sea to wash the sweat and grime from his body and try to get some rest.
He knocked, but there was no soft, feminine voice that answered him. In fact, there was no voice at all.
Hayden cracked open the door and looked inside to find the chamber empty. He went to his chest to find a new shirt, and somehow knew Isla had removed herself from the room.
He didn’t understand the anger that surged through him. Shouldn’t he be glad she was gone? Why then did he want her in his bed?
Determined to forget about Isla, Hayden went to his window. He had always felt if the god chose him and gave him powers, why not use them? This was one of those times.
Hayden watched the long scarlet claws extend from his fingers. They were the same deep shade of red as his skin, the same color as his Warrior eyes.
Immense, and terrible, power swept through him as it did every time he called up his god. But his god was part of him now, had been part of him for almost two hundred years. Would most likely be a part of him from now until the day his head was severed from his body.
Without another thought he jumped from his window. The fall from his chamber to the beach below was a long one, the wind howling past his ears.
Hayden landed in a crouch on top of a large boulder and pushed his god back down. He quickly stripped before he jumped to the rocky sand and waded into the cool water.
He walked until the water reached his waist before he dove under. It didn’t take him long to wash and return to shore. With the castle built on the cliffs, not many walked the steep path down to the beach, which gave Hayden the privacy he wanted.
Although with his powers, he could get to any beach along the cliffs he wanted. He’d only seen one other place accessible to humans, but it wasn’t near the castle. Most likely it was used by the MacClures, who had claimed the MacLeod lands and feared the castle.
Hayden looked up at the inky sky and the stars winking back at him. The half moon hung low, its light spilling across the sea. He had always loved looking at the moon, but tonight the midnight sky reminded him of long black hair.
With a sigh Hayden dressed and knew he wouldn’t rest until he had found Isla and made sure she wasn’t getting into anything. She hadn’t left the area because he could still feel the magic of her shield.
He could simply ask someone, but then they would know of his interest. Or they would think the worst, that he was trying to kill her. Neither was something he wanted to deal with. So he would find her himself.
Hayden once more released his god to bound back up the cliffs to the castle. The easiest way for him to find Isla was to look through the windows.
He began with the chambers he knew were vacant — Broc’s, Logan’s, and Galen’s. He didn’t find her, but more importantly he didn’t smell her scent, which meant she hadn’t been in the chambers.
Hayden leapt atop the battlements to think of where he would search next when he saw a light coming from the north tower.
He didn’t hesitate to work his way to the tower window, and when he looked inside there was the minx in question combing her long locks with slow, sure strokes.
Hayden should have left and returned to his own chamber. He should have ignored the lure of Isla’s snow and wild pansy scent. He should have fought against the desire that roared to life in his body and deman
ded he sample her.
But he did none of those things.
Instead, he tamped down his god and landed without a sound inside the tower. He took a step toward the bed when Isla’s hand paused and lowered the comb. She turned her head toward him. Without a word she stood and faced him.
He wanted to see fear in her ice-blue depths, anything to shake the fiery need running rampant through him. Fear, it seemed, wasn’t an emotion Isla felt.
Knowing it was wrong, knowing he needed to leave, he walked toward her, each step fueling his desire until he had to touch her or go up in flames from the heat of it.
She retreated only two steps. Maybe a part of her feared him after all. It was what he wanted. Why then did it irk him?
Her scent surrounded him, lulled him. Excited him. If he didn’t touch her, he knew he’d explode with the force of his desire. Unable to stop himself, he lifted his left hand and cupped her face.
She tilted her face into his hand, her gaze curious and seeking. He wondered what she saw when she looked at him. Did she see the monster he had become? Did it repulse her as he dreaded it might?
All thoughts vanished as he lost himself in the depths of her stunning ice-blue eyes. The world melted away leaving just the two of them and a passion he was unable to resist.
His thumb brushed her lips, aching to touch more. He bit back a groan as his cock swelled and his hunger consumed him. By the saints, he didn’t understand this need riding him or why it had to be Isla that brought it out. No woman had ever done this to him.
But he couldn’t ignore it any more than he could try and stop his heart from beating.
He wouldn’t kiss her. He couldn’t. Even though he fought against the yearning to taste her, to touch her, to claim her, he found his head dipping toward Isla’s captivating lips.
As a last resort, Hayden placed a hand on the wall to help keep his distance from Isla’s tempting, decadent mouth. It didn’t work, not when he saw her lips part as if she wanted his kiss.
It was his undoing.
With his heart pounding and blood drumming in his ears, the scorching need filling him was too much for Hayden to fight. Even with his claws sunk into the stone near Isla’s head, he couldn’t distance himself from her, couldn’t rein back his desire.
His head dipped closer. He inhaled, her scent filling his nose and his body. His rod thickened, wanting, needing to pull her soft curves against him and grind against her.
Her eyes softened, the ice-blue depths darkening with passion. Hayden was so close to her he could see the circle of darker blue that ringed her irises.
Coming ever closer, Hayden’s hand slid from her cheek to her neck and his fingers plunged into the silky softness of her black locks. His hand cupped the back of her head as his gaze fell to her mouth.
Their lips were nearly touching. He could feel her warm breath fan over him, teasing him. He inhaled her scent deep within his lungs and knew he had lost the fight as soon as he had entered the tower.
He should have been angry, but all Hayden could feel was the lust that burned his veins. He would have her kiss. He would taste her sweet nectar and get the hunger for her out of his blood once and for all.
At least that’s what he hoped would happen.
Just as he was about to place his lips atop hers and assuage his desires, his ears picked up a sound coming from the stairway.
Damn.
But it broke the hold over him. It was all Hayden needed to move away from her.
He allowed himself one last glance at Isla. It nearly broke him when he saw her eyes closed and her lips parted, waiting for him. There was no doubt she wanted his kiss.
Hayden turned and leapt out the tower window before he gave caution to the wind and took his kiss. He slid into the shadows as silent as the darkness. He wanted to know who her visitor was and if Isla would tell them he had been in her chamber.
His body ached for release, release that he wanted with Isla. His head dropped back against the stones of the tower as he let out a ragged sigh of regret and anger. He had almost kissed a drough.
What was worse is that he knew he would kiss her. Whatever drew him to Isla could not be severed. And God help him, but he didn’t know if he wanted it to.
One moment Isla’s hands were resting on Hayden’s waist, his lips about to kiss her, and the next he was gone. As if he had been nothing more than a figment of her imagination. But she knew otherwise.
She could still smell a spicy woodsy scent. It reminded her of the forests where she was born. It was that scent that had told her he was in the tower.
It had surprised her that he had come looking for her. Then she had seen the desire in his eyes, desire she had never expected to see.
His touch had been gentle, almost reverent. What had torn her heart apart was the turmoil that showed too plainly on his face. He wanted her, but he didn’t want to want her.
She understood him all too well.
Isla jumped when there was a soft knock at her door. So maybe that’s why Hayden had left before he’d kissed her. Had he heard the approach of someone?
He didn’t want to be seen with you.
She wanted to deny it, but she knew the truth of her subconscious. And it hurt far more than she would have liked.
Isla walked to the door, her knees shaking from a mixture of passion and resentment. She opened it to find Larena.
Larena’s smiled dropped when she got a look at Isla’s face. “Is everything all right?”
Isla opened the door wider and motioned Larena inside. “Everything is wonderful. Why?”
“For a moment there you looked…” Larena paused and must have reconsidered her words. “I came to see if you needed anything.”
Isla smiled and shook her head. “I have more than I need.”
“Cara was quite pleased with herself getting this set up for you. It will get cold in here during the winter without a hearth.”
“I will make do.”
Larena studied her a moment. “Aye, I think you will. You’re a strong woman, Isla. You’ve endured much more than we can ever imagine, haven’t you?”
Isla didn’t answer her, she couldn’t. Her nightmares and tortures that she suffered were for her alone. They weren’t to be shared with anyone.
“You will survive this,” Larena continued. “This and anything else that comes your way. Would you like to know why?”
Isla couldn’t help but ask, “Why?”
“Because you’re a survivor. I’m glad you are here with us. Please know if you ever need anything, you can come to me.”
“Thank you.” Isla had said those two words more in the last two days than she had in the last five hundred years.
Larena walked to the door, but paused as she made to leave. “You’ve been on your own for a long time, trusting no one. I understand how that feels.” She turned to look at Isla. “It took me a while to understand everyone here accepted me as I was.”
“You don’t have evil inside you.”
Larena smiled sadly. “I do. Every one of us with a god has evil.”
Isla swallowed and turned her head away. “You didn’t have a choice, Larena. The god chose you.”
“And Deirdre chose you. She threatened your family. Do not believe what you did was out of cowardice, Isla. It took a tremendous amount of courage to become a drough, knowing what you would become and who you would serve. That is what sets you apart from others.”
Isla looked into Larena’s smoky blue eyes. “And the things I’ve done? Shall I blame them on Deirdre as well?”
Larena glanced away, but not before Isla saw the distress pass over her face. “I wish I could take away those burdens, but I think even if I could you wouldn’t allow me.”
“You’re correct. They are mine to bear.”
“And how long will you carry them? When will you forgive yourself?”
“Never.” Isla didn’t deserve forgiveness. Not for the things she had done, regardless of the reasons.
>
“I hope you change your mind. Sleep well,” Larena said and closed the door behind her as she left.
Isla wanted to hit something, anything to get the rage that had been building inside of her out. But she’d clamped down on her emotions for too long to do anything other than seethe quietly.
Everyone here was too welcoming, too understanding. They wanted to help her, but nothing and no one could help her.
No matter how hard she tried to rein in her scattered emotions, she couldn’t get a handle on them. They overwhelmed her, mocking her, taunting her until Isla punched the stone wall before she broke apart.
Tears stung the backs of her eyes as her bones shattered from the impact. Blood seeped from her sliced knuckles, and she could do nothing other than look at them.
She collapsed onto the bed and curled onto her side. She held her broken hand softly, her heart breaking for the person she had become, the fiend she had vowed she would control.
The tears she knew she should cry wouldn’t come. They never did.
THIRTEEN
Hayden watched Isla from the window. It disturbed him to see her lose control so harshly. He would never have expected it of her, though he should have after seeing some of her tortures himself. She restrained herself too tightly, and if she didn’t watch it, she would fracture. Already she was on the verge.
He had almost returned to his chamber when he saw that it was Larena, but something had told him to stay, and he was glad he had. He had learned much from their conversation. Too much, maybe.
Isla wouldn’t welcome him now, and he wouldn’t know what to say to her anyway. Hayden jumped from the tower and made his way back to his chamber. Isla needed to be alone, and so did he. Except all he could think about as he lay in his bed was Isla, the way she made him yearn, and the words she had spoken to Larena.
There was no question Isla was lonely. Everyone at sometime felt loneliness, but Hayden suspected Isla’s went much deeper.
He didn’t like that he could relate to her or understand her. It was enough that he desired her. If he didn’t watch it, he’d find himself in her bed much sooner than he’d like.