“And we’re never doing this again,” she said, gesturing to the bed, as if he wasn’t already clear on that point.
“Like you said, it’s not a big deal. It doesn’t change anything. It happened, and it won’t happen again.”
He couldn’t tell if she looked relieved or disappointed, and the truth was, he really didn’t want to know.
Ten
The next ten days were the longest in Katy’s life. She tried to keep herself busy with work, but even putting together the ranch’s quarterly taxes wasn’t enough to distract her from the guilt that she might have completely blown their chances to conceive. And she didn’t care what Adam said. It was her fault. He never would have made the first move.
Though she tried to put on a good face for her parents, they could tell she was upset. She told them she was just worried that it wouldn’t work, but she didn’t tell them why. How could she?
By the way, Mom and Dad, did I mention that I seduced and slept with my dead sister’s husband? They would never forgive her. And she couldn’t blame them. She wasn’t even sure if she could forgive herself.
She did try to talk to her mom about Adam, and how he wasn’t the man they thought he was, and her mom got that, “Oh, no, here we go again, Katy has a crush” look, so she didn’t even bother. Maybe because she was too ashamed to admit that her mom had been right. Although it was obvious by how readily Adam agreed it was a mistake, that he hadn’t spontaneously fallen madly in love with her.
She wished she could say the same. But that was her own fault. Still, he was all she could think about lately. She probably wouldn’t have minded him inundating her with calls and emails this time, but he seemed to know instinctively that it was better to back off. He’d text messaged her a couple of times, to see how she was feeling.
She kept waiting for some sort of sign, to start feeling pregnant.
“I knew right away,” her best friend Missy told her as she fixed a bottle for the three-month-old strapped to her chest, while balancing a toddler on one hip and dodging the groping hands of the three- and five-year-olds. “My mood changed and my hair started falling out. Not like I was going bald,” she added at Katy’s look of horror. “But it got thinner during all my pregnancies.”
“I don’t feel anything,” Katy told her.
“Oh, sweetie,” she had said clucking sympathetically. “I’m sure it will work. And if it doesn’t, you’ll just try again. The doctors can only do so much. You have to trust your body to do the rest.”
But she had betrayed her body. She didn’t give it a chance to do the rest. And talking to Missy only made her feel worse because she was even more convinced that she wasn’t pregnant. Because she didn’t feel any different than before. Other than the crushing guilt that she had set Adam’s baby plan back at least a month, not to mention that he only had two more viable embryos. Then the only thing left of her sister would be gone forever.
How would she live with herself if she had ruined this for him?
This had been so much easier when she didn’t like him. When she thought he was a cold, arrogant jerk.
The morning of their next appointment, Katy drove to El Paso feeling like she had a boulder in her chest, convinced the transfer didn’t take. If it had, she would have felt something by now. Some subtle sign that her body was changing. But there was nothing. Not a twinge or a flutter, no weird food cravings or morning sickness. She was so sure her period would start she almost hadn’t bothered to come, but it would be her only chance to see Adam for at least another few weeks, when they did the final transfer.
And if that didn’t work? Well, there was a good chance she might never see him again. And who knows, maybe it would be for the best.
She had herself so worked into a lather that when she stepped through the doors to the lobby of the medical building and saw Adam standing by the elevators waiting for her, she immediately burst into tears. Mortified beyond belief, she turned right back around and walked out.
She heard the door open behind her, and hurried footsteps in her direction, then she felt his hand on her shoulder. “Katy, what’s wrong?”
She shook her head, unable to speak.
His arms went around her, pulling her against his chest. And even though she knew she was only torturing herself, she sank into him. Clung to him. Why did she do this to herself? Why did she fall for men who didn’t want her?
He stroked her hair, her back. “Talk to me, Katy. What’s wrong?”
Only everything.
“I’m not pregnant,” she said miserably, burying her face against his chest.
“You started your period?”
“No, but…I just know. It didn’t work.”
“You don’t know that,” he said patiently.
“I do, and it’s all my fault.”
“Listen to me. You have to stop blaming yourself. And what’s the point in getting so upset if you don’t even know for sure?”
“I told you, I just know. I don’t feel pregnant.”
“That doesn’t mean you aren’t.” He took her by the shoulders and held her at arm’s length. “Calm down, and let’s go inside and get the test. Then we’ll know definitively if you are or aren’t.”
“And if I’m not?”
“Let’s worry about that when the time comes, okay?”
She nodded and wiped her cheeks.
With a hand on her back, as if he thought she might try to make a run for it, Adam led her back through the door and up to the clinic.
They had to sit in the general waiting room this time, with half a dozen other couples, several of whom were clearly expecting. Happy couples who loved each other. Which of course only made her feel worse.
When the nurse finally called them back Katy was on the verge of tears again. Adam must have realized because he took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. The nurse drew blood, slapped a bandage on, and said, “I’ll send this right to the lab and we’ll call later this afternoon with the results.”
“How much later?” Adam asked.
“Usually between three and four. Sometimes earlier. It just depends how busy they are.”
“That’s it?” Katy asked. “We don’t see the doctor?”
“Not until after you get your results.”
They stopped at the front desk on their way out, and Adam was able to get them an appointment for seven that evening, so she wouldn’t have to make the long drive out again.
“I’m not letting you drive home that late,” Adam said when they met back at his house and she mentioned leaving straight from Dr. Meyer’s office. He opened the front door, disengaged the alarm, and gestured her inside. “You can stay with me.”
“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”
“You don’t trust me?”
She didn’t trust herself. Especially not when he’d been so touchy-feely with her. Hugging her and holding her hand. It was torture. What would he do if she made the first move again? Would he give in and make love to her? Or would he push her away this time?
She wouldn’t be finding out, because the possibility that he would reject her would be more than she could bear.
She followed him into the kitchen. “It’s not that I don’t trust you,” she said. “It’ll just be…awkward.”
He stopped and turned to her. “Katy, if we’re going to make this surrogacy thing work, we have to get past what happened. If you can’t do that—”
“Of course I can.” It was obviously just a little harder for her than it was for him. “You’re right. I’ll stay here.”
He pulled two bottles of water out of the fridge and handed her one. “So, what would you like to do until the doctor’s office calls?”
“Don’t you have to go back to work?”
He leaned against the edge of the counter. “Nope. I’m yours all day.”
Oh, didn’t she wish.
“We could go for a swim,” he said.
“I didn’t bring a suit.” Or paj
amas, or clothes for the next day, she realized.
He shrugged. “Who needs bathing suits? It’s not like I haven’t seen it before. Right?”
Her heart slammed the wall of her chest. She was too stunned to reply. Hope welled up inside of her, then fizzled out when she saw the corner of his mouth tip up and realized that he was kidding.
“That was a joke,” she said.
“Yeah. It was a joke.”
Not only did he have a sense of humor, but it was warped. And he obviously had no idea what he’d just done to her. Why would he? She was the one who’d said it meant nothing. Right? He had no idea how conflicted she felt. And she intended to keep it that way.
“Celia has a whole cabinet full of bathing suits in the cabana. There’s bound to be one that will fit you.”
Since they didn’t have anything better to do, and they could take their cell phones with them by the pool, why not? But of course she found out why not when she walked out of the cabana, in the modest one-piece she’d found in her size, to find Adam standing by the pool, bare-chested, his bronze skin glistening in the sun, making him look like a Greek Adonis. He looked really good for forty. In fact, he could totally put to shame most of the twenty-something guys she knew. His body was truly a work of art. And she was stuck looking at it for God only knows how long.
Hey, it could be worse, she thought. He could be wearing a Speedo.
Since she didn’t want to be away from her phone, she only waded around for a few minutes, then she laid back in one of the lounge chairs, sipping iced tea and watching Adam do laps. She recalled Becca telling her once that he’d been on the swim team in college. He’d been so good that later he had a shot at making the Olympic team, but had to drop out when his father died so he could take over Western Oil. She would have to ask him about that some time.
Or not. Probably the less she got to know him, the better. Why make it harder on herself?
Around one Celia brought out a tray of cheese enchiladas and homemade tamales, and though Katy was hungry, and the food was delicious, she was too nervous to eat much. She kept looking at the cell phones sitting side by side on the table, willing them to ring. And at the same time she was dreading it.
An hour later Celia left to do some shopping, and at three Katy and Adam had had enough sun and decided to go in. She was in the kitchen refilling her iced tea, and he was about to go take a quick shower, when his cell phone started to rumble on the counter. Then it started to ring.
For a second they both just stood there looking at it, as though it were some deadly venomous insect neither wanted to touch. Then Adam sighed, grabbed it off the counter and answered.
“Yes, this is he,” he said to the caller, and though she could hear someone talking, she couldn’t hear what they were saying. She stood there with her heart in her throat, waiting. He said, “uh-huh” twice and “we’ll be there,” then he hung up.
She was gripping the edge of the counter, hands trembling, and her heart was thumping out about a thousand beats per minute. “Well, what did they say?”
Adam shook his head, looking shell-shocked, and her heart plummeted. She was right. It hadn’t worked. They blew it. Then he said, “Positive.”
It took a second to process, then she repeated, to be sure she hadn’t heard him wrong, “Positive?”
He nodded.
“This isn’t a joke? It’s really positive? It worked?”
A grin spread across his face. “It worked. You’re pregnant.”
All the stress and grief, and every other emotion that had been building for the last ten days welled up like a geyser and erupted in a whoop of joy that her parents probably heard all the way in Peckins.
In one minute she was across the room, and the next she was in Adam’s arms and he was hugging her tight.
“I guess you’re happy,” he said, and though she couldn’t see it, because she was plastered against him, she could hear the smile in his voice.
More than just being happy that she was pregnant, that at least one of the embryos had attached, she was relieved that she hadn’t screwed things up for him. She could stop feeling guilty. She could stop thinking back to that night and berating herself for kissing him in the first place, and for not stopping him when he kissed her back, and started undressing her.
Touching her.
Sort of like right now, she realized, as she became aware that her breasts were crushed against his bare chest, that his hands were on her bare back. He smelled like chlorine and sunblock, and his skin felt hot to the touch. And it took exactly two seconds to realize that hugging him had been a terrible mistake.
But why wasn’t he letting go? And why were his hands sliding farther south, dangerously close to her behind.
“Um, Adam?”
“Yeah?”
“Maybe you should, you know…let go of me.”
“I probably should,” he said, nuzzling the side of her throat.
Oh, good Lord.
“Okay…now,” she said, but he didn’t let go. But to be fair, neither did she. Then she felt his lips on her neck and her legs nearly gave out.
“Katy?”
“Huh?”
“I think I have to kiss you again.”
There it was again, that “have to” line.
“I really wish you wouldn’t,” she said, but his hands were already sliding up her back, tangling through her hair.
Oh, hell, here we go again, she thought as he eased her head back and crushed his lips down on hers. It was so hot she was sure she would melt into a puddle on the kitchen floor.
Did the man have to be such a good kisser.
“Hey Adam, are you two—oops!”
They both jumped a mile and swiftly untangled themselves from each other. Celia stood in the kitchen doorway, her arms filled with reusable canvas grocery bags.
“I’m sorry,” she said, looking embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to…interrupt.”
Everyone seemed at a loss for words, so Katy said what she could to fill the awkward silence.
“We just heard from the doctor’s office.” As if that brought logic to their passionate embrace. “I’m pregnant!”
Eleven
According to the ultrasound Dr. Meyer performed at their appointment later that evening, she was pregnant with a single embryo.
After a brief examination, he showed them to his private office and explained just about everything she and Adam needed to know about her pregnancy—she was honestly, truly pregnant! What changes to expect in her body, and the things she should and shouldn’t eat. The kind of activity that was safe and what medications weren’t. And her due date, which they learned was early the following spring.
But now the appointment was almost over and neither had mentioned the one thing they both needed to know. It was the huge pink elephant in the room. And since Adam didn’t seem inclined to ask, it was up to her to put it out there.
“If you have any other questions for me—” the doctor started to say, and Katy said, “I have one.”
She looked over at Adam and he had a slightly pained look on his face. “Suppose, hypothetically, that a surrogate were to have sex right after the transfer. Could that hurt the baby in any way?”
The doctor looked up sharply from the notes he’d been jotting in her file. “You didn’t, did you?”
His reaction startled her.
It couldn’t be that bad, could it? “Even if we did, the embryo latched on,” she rationalized. “So no harm done. Right?”
“Successful implantation is only part of the reason. For surrogates like yourself, who have no known fertility issues, there’s also the problem of conception.”
“But didn’t we want her to conceive?” Adam asked, before she had the chance.
“In all likelihood, because the embryos were implanted at the most fertile stage in her cycle, her body also released its own healthy and viable egg. And I’m sure I don’t have to explain to either of you what happens if you introduce
sperm with an egg.”
Katy’s stomach bottomed out, and Adam went pale.
The doctor looked from Adam to Katy. “Gauging by your reactions, should I assume this might be the case?”
“So what you’re saying,” Adam clarified, as if it wasn’t crystal clear already, “is that it could be Katy’s own fertilized egg, and not one of the embryos.”
“It could be.”
Katy felt sick to her stomach. This could not possibly be happening.
Under the circumstances, Adam sounded unusually calm and detached when he asked, “Is there any way to tell?”
“Only though a DNA test. Either after the birth, or through amniocentesis.”
“How soon could the amnio be done?” Adam asked.
“At the earliest, fourteen weeks, but I do have to warn you that there are risks involved.”
“What kind of risks?”
“Infection, miscarriage.”
Katy stared at him, slack-jawed, feeling as though she had just taken the leading role in the world’s most horrific waking nightmare.
“So what kind of odds are we looking at?” Adam asked. How could he be so calm? Panic was clawing at her insides. It was all she could do not to get up and pace the room like a caged animal.
“Of course, I can’t be certain, but I would put the odds at somewhere in the ball park of five to one.”
She felt a slight tug of relief. As far as odds went, that wasn’t too bad.
“Five to one that it was one of the embryos?” Adam clarified.
“No. That it was Katy’s own egg.”
Oh, crap.
Katy felt light-headed, like she might faint. What the hell had they done? Having her sister’s baby was one thing, but to have her own baby, and with Adam of all people? This was crazy!
She wasn’t ready to have a child yet, especially not with her sister’s husband! A man she loved, whose only interest in her was to produce his offspring.
She had a sudden and disturbing vision of her family up on the stage during a Jerry Springer episode.
The Tycoon's Charm: The Tycoon's Paternity AgendaHonor-Bound Groom Page 9