by Ariana Rose
“Lex, where are the falls you said we’d find?”
“Are you questioning their existence?” she asks.
“Not at all. I’m just having a hard time believing there is a waterfall in the middle of an urban area. I’ve just never seen it.”
“Ye have little faith!” She laughs and weaves her hand with mine. “Open your ears, Julian. Listen.”
She was right. I could hear the roar of the water. We followed the path down a small staircase and was greeted with one of the most beautiful displays of nature. “Holy shit, Alexandra!” I grip the metal rail. “This is amazing.”
“I’ve been coming here since I was little. My mom grew up just a few blocks from here. The area has changed quite a bit. The VA is a lot bigger. The light rail changed the landscape a bit, but once you are inside the sound of the Falls, the rest of the world goes simple. It’s just you and the falling water. Instead of going to the cemetery, I come here. I feel closer to her here than I feel anywhere.”
She lets go of my hand and walks ahead. I can tell she is missing and thinking of her mother in this moment. She stops on the bridge that rests directly over the Falls, and the spray of the water mists her skin. She turns her face skyward and I see her mouth a few words. This was such a private thing for her to show me. I feel a growing ache in my heart and a need to be near her. I take the slow walk to her side.
“You feel her presence, don’t you?”
“Every day, but more so here. I have conversations with her. I sometimes can hear her respond. Think I’m crazy?”
“Crazy? No. I’ve never had it happen to me, but I don’t know everything, nor can I explain everything. If you say you talk to her, I believe you.”
She closes what little distance there is between us and folds into my arms. I hold the back of her head gently. After a minute, she pulls back to look into my eyes. She raises her hand to my cheek and leans in for a soft, lingering kiss. It was a very unexpected and uninhibited. She’s kept a safe distance in public due to our circumstances but in this moment, she doesn’t worry and honestly, neither do I.
She lowers from her tiptoes and rests her forehead on my lips. “Will you do something with me?” she asks.
“Anything,” I respond.
“Mom and I had a tradition every time we were here. We’d each hold a penny. We’d make a wish and toss the penny over the Falls for it to come true. I’ve done it alone since she died. Would you do it with me today?”
I hold her head gently in my hands. Her request grips my heart in a way I can’t even begin to describe. “Alexandra….” I tilt her head to look at me. “I’d be honored to do that with you.”
She reaches in the front pocket of her jeans and pulls two pennies out. She’d planned all along for us to do this together. She lays one in my hand and wraps her hand around the other. “Close your eyes, make a silent wish, then we will toss them in together. Okay?”
“Okay.”
She closes her eyes and I do too, for a second. Then I open them again to watch her. I wonder what her wish is? Is it the same as mine? Can I even admit to myself what I wish? Her eyes open again, and she asks, “Ready?”
“I’m ready.” Am I? She counts to three, and we toss our pennies to the wind and water. Will our wishes come true? One day, we will know.
***
Sleep. Who needs it. I find fuel in the deprivation. I need to sometimes be totally stripped before I find clarity. I refuse to continue to be made the fool, not only by her, but by the pretty boy whose measure you could fit into a thimble. He fucked with the wrong person this time. The wrong people, I should say.
This trip is not only business but hopefully of pure pleasure. After receiving a most interesting call a couple weeks back from a very sultry voice. She piqued my interest with an “I believe your girlfriend is fucking my boyfriend.” Now we are meeting in person in what she told me was her city.
I spent most of my flight doing what I do best, which is vetting my opponent. I needed to know who he is, what makes him tick but, more importantly, where his weaknesses are. Everyone has them and I know this peasant does.
He comes from money. It figures. He can’t do anything real, so he needs Mommy and Daddy to facilitate. Typical. I found the real dirt in the page six shit. All the recent pictures are of him and my partner in crime to be. She’s a fucking hot brunette with a body you want to lick hundred-year-old scotch off.
There wasn’t as much as I expected, but there was a twist I didn’t expect. When I scanned back a couple of years, and there were ones there with a mousier blonde. All the links with them concerned charity and being the new Hollywood super couple. Blah blah blah. Every bit of boring shit I could hardly get through. Then, the Achilles heel. I see article after article about the car accident that killed the blonde. Sisters. They were sisters. Maybe there is a redeeming quality to this punk yet. He was behind the wheel. How big of a fucking hypocrite is Lex? I enjoyed calling that like I saw it. She can forgive a murderer, but a couple times of losing my shit and I’m the devil. Neither one of them has seen anything yet.
Upon checking into my hotel in Manhattan, I go back to my bookmarks to firm my notes and find new pictures in the search engine. These are only about three weeks old. Oh my, how cozy are we. I focus on Quinn. I can’t help it. Those legs for days. I’d like to have them wrapped around my neck and her almond-shaped nails scraping down my back. Not only do I need to know my opponent, but I need to find my position with my ally. I google her and find everything, including her measurements, which I will use for my pleasure later.
For this takedown to come off, we decide on personal contact. The quickest way to gain access is meeting in the bustling center of Manhattan. She chose to visit a friend on her weekend break. A town with millions of people. No one will see us or connect the dots. Oh, the makings of a perfect scenario.
They say flattery can get you anywhere and boy was that never truer than with this girl. I buttered her up like a slice of bread. She was putty in my hand and agreed to a meeting in my hotel bar.
I sit, facing the doorway, and it isn’t long before that sexy sway claims my view. She left her hair down and loose over her shoulders and back and is wearing a slip of a dress that is illegal in a few countries. Well played, my beauty, well played. I rise out of my chair and button my suit coat, then slide a chair open for her to plant that gorgeous ass.
“Table in the back-left corner. As promised.” She sits without a word, setting her clutch on the table. I take my seat within reach.
“Mr. Mackenzie, I presume.”
“Ms. Davis, a pleasure. But, Hunter. Please, call me Hunter.” I slide a tumbler of amber liquid across the table to her with a nod.
“Hunter…” She dips her finger in the McCallan, circles the rim of the glass, then sucks on that finger. Baby girl, I will be that finger later. “So, did you make an appearance at that wedding as promised?”
“Oh, I did. It was glorious. You didn’t warn me about his latent temper.”
“Temper? What do you mean?”
“Julian puffed out his chest and we nearly came to blows. Fortunately for him, Alexandra stepped in and got the only punch of the night. I didn’t know she possessed a right hook.”
“Miss Lex seems good at secrets. Take you, for instance. She’s never mentioned you before. After meeting you, I can’t think of one reason why.” She leans in, giving me a full view of her smoldering cleavage.
I can’t help but stare a bit at the show I’m offered. “You don’t like her very much, do you?”
I can instantly tell I’ve caught her off guard. “I need her gone, Hunter, and will do most anything to make sure that happens. I need to get Julian back in line. She is in the way of my every need. I think you understand what I mean by that.”
“But of course. How unfortunate for you. You should have your needs tended to better than that.” I make my initial play and slide my hand over hers. My gamble worked as I catch her pulse begin to climb. “
Distance from what is yours is a dagger, isn’t it?”
She begins to play with the pendant around her neck. “With a twist.”
I’m trying to fight it, but my cock is winning. “I feel like a deeper conversation might be better suited for privacy. I have a suite upstairs. We can take these tumblers to go.” I give her hand a firm squeeze, and I can audibly hear the breath catch in her throat. “I hate to see good things go unnoticed.”
“Funny… I feel the same way.” She gives a hard tug to my tie. “What do you say we soothe both our situations. I think we can learn quite a bit from each other.”
“I certainly give as good as I get, Miss Davis.”
“Hunter, I want you to say my name. Call me Quinn.”
“In about ten minutes, you’ll get your wish, over and over.” I motion to the elevators. “After you, my little vixen.”
MIDNIGHT. IT HAS now faded into tomorrow. We go back to Atlanta today. This weekend has offered nearly every emotion in the spectrum. My apprehension on coming to her hometown in the first place. My happiness to know more about who she is. My honor in being able to meet her father and witness their courage, both individually and as a unit. I think now, most of all, my fear that I will be discovered and the feelings I’ve been denying will be known. She’s always been more. I knew it in the park that first day. Every hour and minute we’ve spent together since has only confirmed it.
I roll to my right and rest my head on my arm. She’s on her stomach, curled around her pillow. Every now and again, she mumbles or twitches slightly. I think she’s dreaming, and I wonder what about. I’m honestly just glad she’s finally sleeping. I should be too. I close my eyes and try to relax. She’s been brave, so brave. Facing her fears; calling them by name and asking for help is more than I’ve ever been able to do.
“No. No, don’t. I didn’t mean it like that. Stop. You’re scaring me.”
My eyes open immediately. She’s not dreaming. She’s having a nightmare.
“Stop!”
I rest my hand on her back. “Alexandra, wake up. Lex, wake up.” She jerks awake and I can feel her heart racing through her back. “Hey, you’re safe. It’s just me.”
She starts to cry softly. “His hand was around my throat. He had me against the wall. I couldn’t move.”
I pull her closer to me, so I’m her pillow. “He’s not here. You don’t have to worry about anything. I’m here with you.”
She sighs a breath of relief and begins to lightly kiss my chest. “Make me feel safe.” She slides her body over mine, so her legs are on either side. “Please don’t say no.”
“What about your father? He’s across the hall.”
“I need you more than I need him to think we’ve never done this before. Please, Julian.” She sheds the thin tank top she’s wearing and pulls my hands to her chest. “For a minute, for an hour, I just want to not be aware of anything but you.”
My hands give my answer for me. I slowly sit up, so we are nose to nose. I wrap my hands around her back. “For a minute, an hour…”
I press my lips to hers and test her need. I can instantly tell she wants this soft, slow, and safe. We’ve done the fast and the furious. This is one of those times where we will be savoring the moment.
***
I’m hovering in that state where I’m nearly asleep but aware of my surroundings. I can feel the subtle stroke of her fingers across my arm. I feel like I’m her security. Two months ago, there was no way I could allow that, but in this bubble we’ve created, I want that as much as she does. I fade closer to the darkness of sleep, but before I can, my ears hear one last thing…
“I love you, Julian. So much.”
***
His eyes have been closed nearly since the moment we got on the plane. I’m not totally certain he’s even sleeping. I can tell when he’s fully at rest; his breathing is slow and even. He’s not there. I don’t know if it’s restless sleep because we are going back to reality or if something else is different. He’s not been the same all morning. We packed in near silence. We ate in in the same way. The only time he seemed like my Julian was when we said goodbye to my father. I could tell they connected, and I know it was over their mutual protectiveness of me. There was a respect and understanding. I thought my dad had that with Hunter but, when I saw Julian with him, there was a clear difference.
I hated leaving for so many reasons. I never like leaving my dad alone, but I felt our family was more complete this time. Showing Julian every place important to me and letting him more into my life here meant everything. Hunter set a harsh break in that. We got it back with the world tour, then bam! The gate seems to have closed. I try and think back to pinpoint what might be the cause.
Before I can sort it all out, the captain comes over the loudspeaker, telling us we will be landing in twenty minutes. I reach across and take Julian’s hand. “Hey, sleepyhead. Did you hear that?”
“Yes, Alexandra. I did.” He rolls out his neck a bit and gives my hand a squeeze.
“We never talked about what you were going to tell people about where you were.”
“If I’m asked, I will tell everyone I spent the weekend at home. I was working on the finale script. There is nothing you need to do to cover. It’s simple and plausible. There weren’t any pictures of me out in Minneapolis. We made sure of it. You shouldn’t know what I’m going to say anyway, so your reactions are real.”
“Do you understand how much I hate this?” I ask.
“I understand.” He brings my hand to his lips. “I really do.”
“Julian, I need to ask you a question. I hope you can be honest with me. Did I do something wrong? Did something happen last night to change things?”
He stares into my eyes in silence until the wheels touch the tarmac. “No, Lex. You’ve done nothing wrong. I need to…we need to be careful about what comes next.” He takes a deep breath. “Alexandra, I wasn’t sleeping last night when you thought I was.”
His admission is the lightbulb. He heard. He knows how I feel. “Oh… oh.” We say nothing more, until the cabin door opens and all the passengers around us begin to exit.
“Alexandra, I…” he starts. I feel like he wants to say something, to respond to my confession. “I ordered ride shares for both of us. I think we should arrive home separately.”
I don’t know what I expected, but this wasn’t it.
***
I sit on the stairs outside my building where the car let me off. I guess I needed the space to think. Being inside felt too confined. She said, “I love you.” She said she loves me. Not that I didn’t feel it coming nor that I don’t feel the same way but hearing the words out loud mixes me with all manner of emotion. I know what I heard was a private confession. It was meant for herself and the universe to know. I couldn’t let it go. Maybe I should have. How do I feel about what she said?
“Hey sexy! How many times does this make we’ve met like this?” I look up to Troy staring down at me.
“I think it’s in the ‘too many to count’ category. How’s Diesel? Was he a pain in the ass? Did you make my apartment looked lived in?”
“I’m good at that. I followed your instructions to the letter. How was your mystery trip?” he asks with a wink.
“That’s what I’m out here trying to figure out. Do you have a minute or five hours?”
Troy takes a seat beside me on the stone staircase. “Was it that bad?”
“No, buddy. It wasn’t…at least most of it. Her dad is fucking amazing. He’s easily the most likeable man I’ve ever met.”
“Hey! I might take offense to that, you know.”
I laugh a bit. “You know what I mean. He never was like, ‘who the hell is this asshole I’ve never met, sleeping in the same room as my angel of a little girl.’”
“So, no gun. That’s a plus.” Troy laughs.
“No. No gun. Alexandra showed me her city in her way. She showed me all these places that had meaning for her. She let me see who
she was before my dog ran her over and changed the game.”
“You said most. What happened to keep it from being all?”
I look down at her ring on my hand. “A couple of things. We were at her friend Connor’s wedding, and her prick ex showed up. I swear to God, if I didn’t need to keep a low profile, I would have ended him.”
“You nearly got into a fight? Fuck! I would have paid money for that.”
“Jesus, eye on the prize here. My reaction to him really affected her. I was proud of her, though. She decked his ass and confessed everything to her dad about what happened to end her relationship with him which, in turn, was part of the reason she moved here.”
“It sounds like she is a badass and forgave you for the near caveman behavior.”
“She did…and more.”
“More?” he asks. “Tell me of this more.”
“Troy, she told me she loves me.”
“Fucking finally! One of you got off your ass and said it.”
“Seriously? That’s your reaction?” I ask.
“Jules, listen. You know how much I loved Lainey. I loved her nearly as much as you did. But there comes a time when you need to move on. I don’t know what the deal is with Q. I don’t fucking want to know. What I do know is that you aren’t a zombie anymore. Lex has brought you back to life. You now know she loves you. You’d be a damn fool to let that, or her, go. I get being scared, but Lainey would want this for you. I know I do.”
I feel his hand take mine. “Julian, do you love her? Do you want to say it back?”
“Yes. I do. I love her. I’m willing to risk everything to have her.”
“Then what the hell are you doing here still talking to me? Go get her.”
I will. I have to. There are so many questions without answers, but the one thing I know is how short time can be. I don’t want to waste any more of it sitting on the fence.