“You are ridiculous. We have to save my friend. Don’t talk, or moan, or make any noise. Got it?”
“But you just said dick--”
“I will leave you here, Allurie.”
“Okay,” she sighed as she put her fingers up to her mouth and pinched her lips.
We both crept through the door, and I pushed it closed behind us. I waited for a few seconds to see if I could hear any guards. I didn’t hear anything, so I gestured for the silver-haired elf to follow me. She still clutched her lips between her fingers, but she nodded and followed my command.
I didn’t know if I actually had a sneak skill in the game, but I was doing my best and couldn’t hear any noise from my boot steps. There were a bunch of cells on the right side of the hallway, but they were empty of anything but a hole in the tile that I guessed prisoners would use as a bathroom. It actually smelled pretty gross in here, and I was going to have to talk to Zarra about turning some of the scent feedback systems down a few notches. It would be a bad marketing move for people to vomit while they were gaming. In fact, I was kind of surprised that there wasn’t any setting in the menu to throttle back on any of the sensory feedback.
There was a sudden smashing of glass followed by a burst of laughter from down the hall. I stopped mid-step, and Allurie bumped into my back. The elf girl’s eyes got big when I glared back at her, and she pointed at her clamped lips with her free hand. The laughter sounded like it was right around the next corner, and I gestured for Allurie to wait while I snuck to the edge of the wall.
There were three guards sitting at a round table; as well as a few dozen empty glass bottles of what I guessed was beer laying on the floor around them, and one of the guards casually picked one up in his hand.
“Stupid fenia,” he said as he tossed the bottle into the dark cell they guarded.
I heard a small yelp of pain from inside the cell as soon as the glass shattered, and I leaned out from the corner of the wall so that I could see better. I wasn’t surprised to find Artus in the cell, but I felt a torrent of anger slam into my chest when I saw the condition of my friend.
Most of his clothes had been ripped off, and I could see dozens of open cuts on his fur. The light wasn’t incredibly good in the dungeon, but it looked like his cat face had been beaten to a pulp. The fenia was lying on his side by the toilet hole, and thousands of glass pieces lay everywhere. My friend didn’t have any shoes on, and I imagined that his bare cat feet would get cut to ribbons if he tried to stand.
“I’m going to try to hit his face again.” One of the guards yawned as he grabbed a bottle from the floor. The man raised it over his head and kind of leaned his body to the side so that he could throw the bottle through the bars.
I was already moving.
Both of the short blades jumped into my hands as if they had their own minds, and I cocked my right-hand weapon back before I swung it at the arm of the first guard. I felt a fraction of a second’s worth of resistance as the blade connected with his armored forearm, but the steel was sharp, my arm was strong, and I knew how to swing a sword. The weapon cleaved through his limb, but I didn’t hear him scream until I’d stepped around the table to stab the tip of my left-hand short sword into the face of the second guard. The attack speared his head like a watermelon, and I ripped my blade out of the top half of his skull almost as easily as I would have cut into the actual fruit.
“Ahhhhh!” the first man gasped as the bottle and top half of his forearm tumbled to the ground. Blood sprayed on my back and the face of the third guard, but he didn’t even have time to blink before I’d sliced the top section of my right blade back through his neck and cut his head off of his shoulders.
The momentum of my swing carried me back to my right, and I let my left sword follow through with the turn of my hips. The first guard was still awestruck by the end of his gushing forearm, and it looked as if he was inhaling to make another scream. The shout never emerged from his lips, though. I was too quick and buried my sword in his brain via his ear canal.
A growl left my mouth as I watched the life bars fade above the three dead men. As soon as the icons had disappeared their corpses slid down their chairs and fell to the ground. I had thought about punching them or trying to knock them out before I freed Artus, but the sight of them torturing him with glass bottles had sent me over the edge.
“Wow! You killed them all!” I turned to see Allurie’s silver head poking around the corner.
“I didn’t want to, but they were hurting my friend,” I sighed. It was really hard to keep thinking about these NPCs as computer programs. Each of the three men had different faces, and even their armor looked unique. They had each sat in their chairs with their own style, and nothing about the encounter had felt as if it was part of a game. Ohlavar didn’t cut any corners with the design of the world, or its inhabitants.
“Oh, I don’t care. It is really sexy. I bet after all that activity you will want to do something to help you relax. I think that cell looks the cleanest, but that one over there is really dirty. Maybe you’d prefer it to be really, really dirty?” She pointed behind me and licked her lips.
“Not now, damn it. Help me search these bodies for the keys to the cell.”
“Okay,” she sighed as she stepped past me.
“Artus?” I called out to my friend as I put the bloody short swords back in their sheaths.
“Leo?” His voice sounded weak and tired. His health bar above his head looked to be at less than a quarter of his maximum.
“Don’t move. I’m going to open the door and pick you up.”
“Here are the keys!” Allurie shouted triumphantly.
I turned around to take them from the elf girl, but then I saw the corpses of the guards, and my mouth hung open. They had all been laid on the floor and stripped naked, except for the one in the middle, who still had his undergarments on. Their armor was stacked neatly next to them, sorted by similar piece, and their boots appeared to have been polished. The bottles had been arranged on the ground next to the table in a neat stack, their sword belts were neatly hanging over one of the chairs, and there were three small coin pouches sitting next to five gold rings on the table.
“How in the hell did you do that so fast?” I asked as the woman set the cell keys in my open hand.
“I love doing chores! Does this make you happy? I love making you happy more than chores. I left the underwear on one of them because he pooped when he died, but if you want to use him when we mate I can take them off so we can roll in it.” She nodded as she spoke and her words tumbled from her mouth like an excited waterfall.
“You are so weird,” I sighed as I tried the first key in the lock. It didn’t work, but my third try did, and the jail door opened with a loud creak.
“Hold on, buddy. Let me lift you up,” I said as I leaned down to Artus. The cat-man smelled a little like feces and a lot like urine, but I didn’t care when he opened his strange eyes to study me.
“Leo, you shouldn’t be here. You are going to get killed,” he whispered.
“Maybe, but I had to try and get you out.” My boots made crunching glass noises as I carried my friend out of the cell, and I set him down in the nearest bloody chair.
“You brought an elf?” Artus looked at Allurie with confusion.
“Yeah, she helped me find the place, and she seems to have a talent for looting corpses,” I said as I grabbed the pouches of coins and slid them in my pocket. The first rule of any virtual reality player game was to always be looting.
“Leo said we are going to mate as soon as we saved you,” the silver-haired elf proclaimed, but then she looked at me with a bit of concern on her face. “Leo, I don’t think your friend has enough stamina to mate with me properly. He should probably sit out the first few times. At least until he has recovered some.”
“Oh, Leo.” Artus put his hand over his beaten face, “An elf? Why did you have to bring an elf?”
“What’s wrong with elves?” I
asked as I lifted up each of the rings on the palm of my hand. As I expected, an equipment inspection window popped up in my visual. The first ring wasn’t magical, neither was the second or third, and I put them each in my pocket after I looked at them.
“Grrr. Have you talked to her for more than three minutes?” Artus made a hacking sound after he asked me the question, and then he spat out a bit of blood onto the floor.
“Yeah. She seems harmless, just really obsessed with --”
“They are really dumb and carefree, and easily distracted by anything that might give them pleasure.”
“There was another elf at the castle that wasn't like that. Tunni Veeta was her--”
“Tunni is so old and boring. She doesn't like to have any fun,” Allurie sighed with obvious annoyance.
“The older elves can grow out of it. Normally, after they have a few children. This one you brought looks young, and she--”
“She hasn’t been much of a problem yet, but I’ll drop her off at the kitchen before we get out of here,” I interrupted Artus.
I raised the fourth ring on my palm and gasped. The Gold Ring text was written in green, and it had a +1 to Luck on the window. I slipped it on my right ring finger, but I didn’t suddenly feel luckier.
“But first mating. I’m really looking forward to it.” The elf girl nodded at Artus, but my friend just shook his head.
The last ring wasn’t magical, so I stuffed it in my pocket with the others, and then I moved to the weapons and pulled out the only sword of the group. It was a one-handed broadsword with a grip about the same size as the two short swords I carried. I held the weapon in my hand and tilted it to see the stats. There was nothing out of the ordinary about it, so I put it back in its sheath and tested the dagger that was also attached to the same belt.
“Allurie, what is the best way out of the castle from here?” I asked as I inspected the dagger. It was also nonmagical, and I put it back in its sheath.
“Hmmmm,” she considered for half a second, and I grabbed a short sword off of the chair. “Oh, I know! The best way out of the castle is the front entrance.” She smiled.
Artus groaned and shook his cat head.
“No, I mean how do we get out of here without the guards seeing us?”
“That’s probably going to be really hard, but the kitchen might be a good way. For some reason, Lord Halafast forbids his guards from going into the kitchen area.”
“I can’t imagine why that would be,” I snickered, but the elf girl seemed confused by my comment. “We would still have to pass through the upper hallways to get back to the kitchen. As soon as a guard sees us with Artus I’m going to guess they will sound the alarm.”
The two other short swords and daggers weren’t magical, so I set them back in their sheaths and pulled the longer sword off of its belt. Within a minute I’d rearranged my weapon belt settings so that I had the longer sword on my left hip next to a short sword, and two daggers on the belt at my back, and another short sword on my right hip next to the third dagger. I stepped around the hallway a bit to see if the new equipment was comfortable to wear, and it didn’t seem to chafe my hips or ribs at all.
“I’m not very good at fighting,” Artus said as I handed him a short sword. “And don’t give it to the elf. She might get it confused with something else that is long and pointy.”
“Ohhhhh.” Allurie’s eyes opened wide, and she seemed to be looking at the weapon in my hand with a new interest.
“Okay, I’ll carry the weapons. Allurie, are you sure there is no other way out of the castle that doesn’t involve us walking past guards? Artus, do you have any ideas?”
“I’m not familiar with the inside of the castle.” The fenia shook his furry head.
“I can’t think of any way out besides the front entrance,” the elf girl said again.
“Or the kitchen?”
“The kitchen?”
“Yes, you said we could get out the kitchen door.”
“Oh yeah, but there aren’t any guards there.”
“I don’t want to see any guards. Damn it,” I groaned at the pretty young woman.
“But why not? They are all muscular, and they look really sexy in their armor.”
“This is why no one talks to elves,” Artus sighed as he stood. His legs trembled a bit, and he had to hold onto the back of the chair for support.
“What about the spring at the bottom of the castle? You said it was on the same floor as the dungeon? Is there somewhere that the water drains?” I asked the girl.
“Hmmm, I’ve heard about some pipes, but I’ve never been down in the service area, though.” Her almond eyes widened suddenly, and she let out a gasp. Artus and I waited for her to speak, but she just looked between the two of us as if a secret was about to burst from her lips.
“What?” I asked with a sigh.
“Maybe you could tie me up to a pipe, or bend me over one, or I dunno, but it is going to be so much fun.” She clapped her hands together with glee.
“Can you take us there? You said it was on the other side of the cellar? I’m guessing we had to go the other way at the bottom of the stairs?” I moved to Artus, and scooped up the injured fenia in my arms.
“Yes! Let’s go!” She skipped past the bodies of the three guards and then turned the corner to exit the dungeon.
“I can walk Leo. Grrrr,” my friend said as I carried him after the elf woman.
“Save your strength bud,” I said to him.
“Leo, you should just leave me here. This won’t end well for you.”
“I’m not going to leave a friend to die,” I whispered, and my eyes started to water a bit. I was thinking about Sal's last moments.
“Grrrr, okay. You have to tell the elf to leave as soon as you can. It is dangerous to have them around,” my friend whispered.
“They seem pretty harmless,” I said as I turned the corner.
“Ha,” he chuckled a bit, and then started to cough some.
“Are there healers or stuff like that in this city? Someone that can use magic to make you better?”
“Yes, but Leo, I don’t think we’ll get out of here.” He shook his head and blinked his cat eyes.
“Yooo hoo! Leo! Hurry up!” Allurie was at the large exit door of the dungeon, and she hollered down the dark lit hallways without a care.
“Shhhh!” I whispered to her as I sprinted the rest of the way. “Damn it, Allurie! We are trying to be quiet.”
“Ohh, sorry,” she gasped, and then she whispered, “Ohh, sorry.”
“Remember when you put your fingers on your lips? Do that again.”
“Darn,” she said, but she did as I asked.
Then we exited the dungeon.
Chapter 16
The guard I had knocked out earlier was still unconscious in the room where we had hid him, and I closed the door softly after I checked on his status. I had no idea how long the game would keep him unconscious, but I knew the clock was ticking. I wouldn’t actually feel safe until I got Artus out of the castle.
But then what? I didn’t know where to take him in the city. Would Jer offer us sanctuary? I didn’t know how long I’d been playing, and the lack of a clock on the main area of my visuals was frustrating. I was sure I needed to log out soon. I didn’t feel tired, or hungry, or like I needed to go to the bathroom, but I imagined I had been in the game for six hours at least, and Chip would probably be getting antsy.
“Let’s stop at the stairs,” I told Allurie as we returned to the place where I had fought with the two guards.
“The bath house is just down this hall to the left.” She pointed. “Do you want me to wash you when we get there?”
“No, we are trying to escape. We don’t have time for--”
“I’m a great washer! Everyone says so, but I’ve never washed a man’s back, just dishes.”
“Shhhh! Be quiet. Ugh.” I set Artus against the wall and the fenia sighed.
“What are you doing?�
� he asked as I clicked on the status menu at the top of my visual.
“Checking the time,” I said. It had been nine in the morning when I first logged in. Now it was almost eight at night. Damn. I’d been playing for almost eleven hours? I guess I’d spent an hour pushing the cart up to the castle, then some time unloading the vegetables, and then I had worked in the kitchen before walking down here. The game was so damn entertaining that the time had just flown by.
“Do you think Jer will let you stay with him for a few days?” I asked the striped cat-man.
“I think he would. Yes, we are good friends. Grrr, but I can’t stay there forever. You and I will never be safe in Cutno. My family is in Arnicoal. Will you come with me?”
“Of course. How long will it take for us to travel there?”
“It is around two hundred mi--”
“I want to come!” Allurie said.
“No,” both Artus and I replied to her.
“Awwww,” she pouted.
“Why aren’t you holding onto your lips anymore?” I asked the pretty elf girl, and she gasped for a second before she pinched her mouth again.
I picked up Artus and nodded at Allurie. We continued down the magically lit corridors for another sixty feet or so, and then turned the corner. The shape of the walls started to change a bit, and they seemed to be making a transition into less of a man-made cut stone and more of a cave chamber feel. There wasn’t a clear break in the graphics texture of the tunnel, and I found myself chuckling a bit with pleasure. The game developers had done an excellent job with all the graphics stuff. Even the stone walls of this castle didn’t have bricks that looked cloned. Each block was similar enough, but there were some tiny differences to each. They must have programmed some sort of randomizing algorithm to each of the texture maps in their world building tool set. It was a really great feature.
The sound of pouring water reached my ears, and I cradled Artus with one hand for a second so that I could grab Allurie’s shoulder with my other hand.
“Now?” she whispered to me with an eager look in her almond eyes.
Lion's Quest: Undefeated: A LitRPG Saga Page 24