Safely back home, I drag my phone out and type up a text to Zara first.
Me: Thanks for giving him my number.
Then one to Evan.
Me: Thanks for lunch today, maybe we can do it again soon.
I don’t wait for a response, I turn it on silent and go to draw a bubble bath to soak. Tomorrow is brand new day with new adventures.
Chapter 8
Rushing out the door toward my car, I stop in my tracks as I hear my name being called. When I look in the direction of Evan’s house, I notice the tiny eight-year-old running in my direction. He’s dressed for school with his backpack on his back. Neil stops right before he knocks into me and looks up. He hands me a piece of paper and says, “I made this for you, I hope you like it.” Taking it from his hands I glance at the drawing that he did of me pushing him on the swing yesterday.
“I love it, thank you,” I say, reaching down to give him a hug.
“Welcome, now I have to go to school,” Neil explains as he turns to rush toward his house. Evan is leaning against his car, watching the exchange when I offer a quick wave to him before getting in my car. I have to stop and pick up Zara before we drive into the city. Morgan needs her to sign off on a few papers for the new bakery, and I promised Hatcher that I would entertain her today. Him and Brody have some big meeting with a client, and Zara needs babysat. I promised that I would cover until my appointment with my therapist, and he explained that I could either leave her at the bakery with Morgan or drop her off at the office to wait for him. It’s funny how it feels that we are literally switching weekends with a child when it comes to Zara these days. She’s been dragging Hatcher to walk with her around the neighborhood to get the baby to come early, which let me just say… Everyday that her child decides to stay in the womb just ticks her off even more. The Braxton Hicks are making her nuts. We keep explaining that she has a few more weeks and to stay calm. Of course, that is not her strong suit, and not to mention how impatient she is.
When I pull into the driveway, Zara pops out of the house faster than a clown in a box. Wobbling to the car, I laugh when she opens the door. “What’s so funny?”
“You, what were you doing, spying out the window for me?”
“Yes, and what was that a few minutes ago?”
“What was what?” I question, but I know what she is referring to.
“Don’t play coy with me, Frankie. The kid.”
“Oh, you mean Neil, my new best friend?” I say as I hold up the drawing he gave me. “Why don’t you ever draw me a picture? I mean, I could have a collection of artwork for my fridge. Some friend you are,” I tease as I back out the driveway.
“I’ll draw you something alright, but I don’t think you’ll hang it on the fridge.”
“Someone is happy today.”
“No, she’s not… She’s hungry, fat, tired, swollen, and over this baby thing. It needs to hurry up and slip on out. Are you good with catching babies?”
“Zara, you are not slipping the baby out of the vag, nor am I catching it, okay?”
“Whatever, I’ve been walking, and we’re having a ton of sex. Did you know that sex is like some magic spell to make you have a baby?”
“Isn’t that what got you the belly in the first place? Stop rushing it, Zara, and just take each day at a time.”
“Easy for you to say, you can see your feet. Do you know I have to have Hatcher find my shoes just so they will match? Yesterday I went for a walk with two different shoes on. I swear I’m losing it.”
“You do know you lost it a long time ago, correct?”
“I’m ignoring you. How was lunch?”
“What lunch?” I ask, playing dumb to rile her up.
“Whatever, just turn the music up and let’s not talk.”
I laugh at her pouting and how she hates to not know everything. Turning the music up some, I let her stew over it for a few more minutes before I explain how lunch was and what I found out about Neil’s mom. Zara doesn’t respond to any of it, which I find odd at first.
It’s not until we get to the new bakery and get out of the car that she finally opens her mouth. “You like him. He likes you, and the kid likes you... Go for it, and don’t screw it up.”
“Wow, I’m shocked you are actually telling me to date someone other than Brody.”
Zara stops in the middle of the parking lot, turns, and looks at me. Letting out a very loud sigh, she says, “Look, Frankie, I want you to be happy. I saw the way your face lit up with him, and that doesn’t happen with Brody anymore. I don’t know if you two will ever work out again, and since he’s still with that Mary Beth, I want you to be happy. If Evan makes you happy, go for it. Just remember to follow your heart, and I’ll be happy either way.”
“Where did my friend go? It’s official, the baby ate her.”
“Oh, hush it, and don’t get all emotional on me now,” she says, turning to head for the door. I take in what she just said, and it’s true. I still have feelings for Brody, and I think I always will, but does he give me the butterflies that Evan does? Are those feelings only happening because he’s new and knows nothing about me? He could run for the hills after he hears about my condition. I push those feelings down deep as nothing has been established between us. Right now, we are two people who have enjoyed lunch together and live a few houses apart. No reason to jump to conclusions now.
I stop before entering as I want to take it all in. It’s been a while since I’ve really paid attention to the new place. The whole front opening has been replaced with windows, allowing for people to see inside from the street. Inside, it opens into a wide space with dark hardwood floors; the front wall is painted a teal mint green and the other two a creamy beige. The front counter is long and cased in white wainscoting, with two massive glass domes that they will fill with sugary treats. The countertop’s granite, and overhead recessed lights are covered in a bronze cage. It gives that old feel to the newly updated space. The ceiling has exposed beams, as Morgan wanted to keep with some of the old parts of the place. One of my favorite things that they did was create this recessed cabinet out front. Inside Morgan’s placed a few awards they have received for best bakery, a framed article that was written about the bakery in Urban Living, and then a picture of us all from the grand opening of her first bakery. I can only imagine that another will follow next to it when we do it again here. Right as we fully enter, Morgan and Jayden pop their heads out of the kitchen doors.
“Wow, Morgan, this place is just beautiful,” I say, looking around again.
“Thanks, if it wasn’t for Zara and Jayden, I might never have been able to pick a scheme. We are almost done, and then it’s show time.”
“A few more days, and I know it will be great.”
Jayden steps around Morgan to engulf me in a hug, then turns to rub Zara’s belly. He knows this drives her crazy, but the funny thing is, she allows him to do this. Zara brushes his hand away and walks over toward the counter.
“Where’s the sign?”
“It’ll be here this afternoon. Jayden said he would hang it for us, and then I want to place the pictures Frankie did over on this wall; whatcha think?”
“I think that will be perfect. Are we putting more tables by that bank of windows?” Zara asks as she points to the side of the door.
“Yes, the company shorted the order, and those should arrive tomorrow. Also, the new oven is on backorder and will be here at the end of the week.”
“Perfect,” Zara says, turning back toward us as she leans against the counter.
“Oh, you guys have to check out the nursery area in the back. And if you love it, thank Natasha.”
Zara and I both exchange a look as this is the first we’ve heard about Natasha. We knew that they were putting in a small space near the office for the kids but haven’t seen it.
“Let’s check this out,” Zara states as she takes off, and we are all hot on her heels to see.
When the door opens, it’s l
ike walking into a massive nursery. The walls are a creamy yellow, and a white crib and changing table sit off to the side. A rocking chair is over in the corner with a side table and monitor.
“Natasha did this?” Zara asks.
“She did. She’s always said she wanted to be a part of this section, and with everything else we just let her have it. She knew you haven’t been coming over here, and they finished last night. Cassidy loves it and thinks she needs a doll house in here for her.” This causes us all to laugh, then we notice Zara is crying.
“Are you okay, what’s wrong?” Morgan questions as she gently rubs Zara’s back.
“Nothing is wrong, it’s just beautiful. I’m excited for the new place and for this baby to exit me.”
We laugh, which makes Zara laugh at her emotional state.
“Okay, let’s sign some papers and stop all this mushy stuff,” she says with her sassy smile.
“Let’s go out front and take a break. Jayden, will you grab those files from the office?” Morgan asks, and we follow her out front.
Right as we sit, Zara pipes up, “Frankie likes a guy, and they had a lunch date yesterday.”
“Zara, really… It was lunch and not a date.”
“Who is this? What have I missed?” Morgan questions with bright eyes. Just then Jayden plops the files down on the table, kisses her head, and excuses himself from the conversation. He’s been around long enough to know that the girls will chat, and that means the guys need to busy themselves with other things unless they want an earful.
I proceed to explain about Evan and his son, Neil, and how I’m testing the waters. None of us notice Hatcher and Brody when they enter the room. Of course, this also means I didn’t shut up when I was in the middle of explaining how Evan gives me butterflies. Hatcher clears his throat, and I lock eyes with Brody. I mentally make a note to talk to him later, as I feel the need to explain my comment to him. Knowing I don’t owe him anything, especially since we aren’t together. But after the last conversation I feel it’s needed. Maybe this will be what he needs to move along with his relationship with Mary Beth. I have no clue, but I do know I want to venture down the path with Evan. Something tells me this is what I need, but I also know I need to tread the water gently when it comes to his son, Neil. This is new for all of three of us, and it’s just not one person’s heart I don’t want to break—it’s two.
My phone vibrates against the table. Glancing around the room, I wonder who it could be since everyone but Natasha is here.
Unknown: Thanks for being sweet to Neil this morning. Maybe you could join us for dinner tonight?
I know the girls are watching me, so I try to hold my smile back when I respond.
Me: Anytime. I loved his picture, and dinner sounds great. Can I bring something?
Unknown: Just yourself. See you at six.
Me: See you at six.
I change his name as Evan in my phone since I notice I haven’t done that yet.
Zara leans in and whispers, “Is that lover boy?” I swat her away as I turn my phone upside down on the table. I quickly scan the room, noticing it’s just us girls, and I assume the guys went to search for Jayden. Morgan begins to explain what the papers are that need Zara’s signature and rambles on about the opening.
“Will you bring them with you?” Morgan asks, and my only response is, “Bring who where?”
“Evan and Neil to the opening, bring them with you. I’m sure Neil will love the treats.”
“I’ll ask,” I say when I notice the time on the wall.
“Look, I need to get going. I have my appointment. Zara, I leave you in her hands until Hatcher is done,” I say as I quickly stand and give hugs before I leave. I have plenty of time to get to my therapist’s office and could’ve stayed a little longer. The thing is I need to get out of there; I need to avoid Brody just a little longer.
Arriving twenty minutes before I need to, I check in and sit while I wait for the new patient paperwork. Fear of judgment overcomes me. I mean, isn’t that what therapist do, they judge you as a person? I’m supposed to go in that room and tell my deepest and darkest secrets to a person I don’t know. Then expect them to understand how I feel about my life.
Anxiety overcomes me and just as I feel the need to put my head between my knees, my name’s called from the window. I stand and give the young girl my license, insurance card, and take the clipboard from her in exchange. I complete the easy stuff—name, address, occupation, surgeries, etc., before I dig deep into the check boxes. At the section for chief concern, I stop as I have to think about my real concerns. The only thing I can come up with is that I want to be happy in life. That doesn’t mean I’m depressed, it just means I need to learn a new way of experiencing life. I breeze through the rest and hand the papers back to the lady and wait. With my foot tapping uncontrollably I startle when my name is called from the doorway. I notice a woman in her mid-forties holding a folder in her hands that can only be mine. “Hi, Francesca, I’m Susan Foster, but please call me Susan.”
“Hi, you can call me Frankie,” I say and follow her back to her office. Entering the office, I take in the décor. Cream walls, a Persian rug that covers most of the light wood on the floor. A desk off to the right, and a little sitting area on the other side with three chairs, two tables, and a lamp. I hesitate to sit as I’m not sure which one is reserved for Susan. Reading my mind, she gestures. “Please make yourself comfortable.”
I take the armchair that’s padded, grabbing the fringed pillow from my back and placing it in my lap. Instantly I rub the material to sooth my nerves. “Alright, Frankie, I noticed this is your first time seeing someone, and I just want to get a little background information from you to start. Is that okay?”
“Sure.”
“You’re twenty-eight, single, and I see here you have had quite the medical history for someone so young.”
“Yes, that’s correct,” I say, but I’m thinking to myself how I’m thrilled she can read.
“You were referred to me by Dr. Downey, and I’ve read over his report. Now, I want to get your take on everything. Let’s start simple; how are you feeling today?”
“Fine. I mean, I can’t complain.”
“Let’s dig a little deeper, shall we. How are you feeling today?”
“Honestly, scared, nervous, tired, and okay.”
“That’s a start. Now, tell me why are you nervous?”
“This makes me nervous, like you are going to judge me for being here.”
“First, Frankie, this is a no judgment zone. My job isn’t to judge you, it’s to help you overcome the negative in your life. Help you come up with ways to cope with everything. Talk it out and make a plan. Tell me what has you tired?”
“I’m usually always tired, plus I don’t sleep well at night.”
“Okay, that I think we can help you overcome with an easy solution. I don’t like giving out prescriptions, so I want you to pick up some Melatonin. Start with 3mg and take one a night about thirty minutes before bed. This will help introduce you into a deep REM sleep. A rested body is a healthy body. If that doesn’t work, up to two 3mg and go from that point. I wouldn’t do over 12mg, but it’s natural and won’t hurt you.”
“Got it,” I say as I make a mental note.
“Now, let’s talk about what scares you. Why are you scared?”
“Oh, I see what you just did. You went with the simple ones to break the ice.”
“I did, as it’s always better to start with the easy stuff. Would you feel comfortable if we went with scared first?”
“No, I guess not,” I say while I rub on the pillow fringes more. I take a deep breath and give myself the pep talk I need to open up. “Life, the future, the wrong decisions—it all scares me.”
“That’s a start. If you want, we can pick from those and work on each one.”
“We can do that.”
“You pick, tell me which one you feel hinders you more from moving forward. Is it lif
e, the future, making wrong decisions?”
I take a moment, glancing around the room before I land back on Susan. “The future,” I say, and Susan smiles up at me, crossing her hands over the notepad.
“The future it is. Try to explain to me what scares you about it. Remember, anything you say in here stays here. I can’t even tell Dr. Downey what we talk about. Unless you give me permission to divulge details of our discussions, I can only give him a report on our progress. You’re in a safe place.”
I pause before I start explaining how I always run, or at least that’s what my friends say I do. How I’m trying to make roots for myself, and then before I know it, I’m talking to her about Brody and Evan.
A timer beeps alerting that our session is over, and I can’t believe that it’s been an hour already. “Before you go, I want you to try to open up to Evan. He’s told you something about himself, but you are still a mystery to him. If you aren’t ready to dig in about the past, go with something like a goal that you have. Let him in, and see what he has to offer. You also need to let Brody know how you truly feel. If you don’t want to go down that path again, let him know. You’ll feel a lot better after explaining it all to him. Listen to your inner self, you might be surprised by what it has to say.”
“Okay, I’ll try,” I say as I stand and shake her hand.
“Now, remember to make your next appointment before you leave. I’d like to do this at least once a week, if that’s okay with you?”
“Sure, I’ll see you next week,” I agree and exit the office, stopping to make my next appointment. Back in my car, I almost feel as a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I know I talk to the girls, but they know me and at times say things that they only think I need to hear. The only honest thing that has been said over the last few months has been Zara lashing out at me. If I take that and what Susan has said, I just might be okay. On my trip home, I swing into the drug store and pick up my new medicine. I just hope this helps me sleep a full night’s sleep. When I pull up in the driveway, I notice I have an hour before I need to be at Evan’s for dinner. Hopefully, me opening up to him doesn’t scare him for the hills.
Heated Sweets (A Taste of Love Book 3) Page 7