“Okay.” I know it sounds lame, but that’s all I can think to say.
“I’ll walk you out,” he says in a husky chest-vibrating tone.
Evan grabs my hand and leads me toward the front door. When I open it, he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me to his chest for one last goodnight kiss. Breaking apart once again, I slide out of his arms and toss up a hand to gesture goodnight. I can’t form a coherent word for the life of me. Heck, my mind is so foggy I pass my house and realize I’ve gone too far when I reach Zara’s driveway. I go to turn and head back home, but notice the lights are still on. I hesitate for a moment… Do I knock and talk to Zara or go home? Right as I think I’m going to knock, I finally notice the extra car in the driveway. Brody must be over, and I don’t need for him to ruin my high on life outlook at the moment. I quickly turn on my heels and briskly walk home. As I turn up my sidewalk, I notice that Evan is watching from a distance; he’s making sure I make it home safe and sound. I wave and head in for the night.
Ready for bed, I hear my phone from the nightstand.
Evan: Night, and I hope to see you tomorrow.
Me: Night, and I’m sure I’ll need to be kissed again into a bliss.
Evan: So, I kissed you into a bliss, huh?
Me: I think you did. I passed my driveway if you didn’t notice.
Evan: I noticed and was ready to race after you and bring you back.
Me: No racing, remember… Good Night, Evan.
Evan: Good night, Francesca.
Chapter 10
I lay in bed daydreaming about last night and how fate has a weird way of playing with your emotions. I never took my new sleeping pill last night before bed, but somehow I managed to not even move an inch throughout the night. That’s the first time in over a year that I’ve slept the whole night and until seven in the morning. Usually I’m up before the sun, but not today.
I have lunch with Brody at noon and then my shoot at two. I want to check my phone to see if Evan’s texted, but I also don’t want to seem too eager. I mean, you are supposed to make them chase you a little, right? If you open your legs too quickly there’s no mystery. I like a little mystery…
Tossing the comforter off me, I slide out of bed and skip to the shower. If I keep myself busy, I won’t be tempted to peek at the evil device that’s alerting me to a message. As I’m brushing my teeth, I remember that I have a very pregnant friend who could be in labor. Skipping out to my room, I slide my finger across the screen and peek. Whew, nothing from Zara, but I do see Evan’s name. I ignore it and go about getting ready. I’ll give myself until my hair is done before I read and respond.
Okay, that might have been the fastest shower in the history of my life, but I really want to know what the message says. “Frankie, you need to control yourself,” I say to myself in the mirror. I opt to not do the full makeup thing today as I don’t need to impress Brody, and I’ll be behind a lens for the better part of the day.
Today’s shoot is for a young lady trying to add to her modeling portfolio. I rented the space from a friend who has his own studio as I don’t have the space in the house for this kind of shoot. She’s requesting some regular poses and then wants to take them up a level or two. That means a ton of wardrobe changes, which takes up most of the shoot. I shrug it off as I think about it because it’s just another thing to add to my list.
Devon and I met when I was studying photojournalism. He’s four years older than me and pretty successful in the city. He’s been trying to get me to join forces with him, but I’m not ready for that kind of commitment. Taking this giant leap in the love department is enough newness for me currently. For now, I’ll continue to rent the space from him and think about his offer. The good thing about it if I do decide to join him is I can still do my other stuff on the side. It would be more of a partnership than me working for him. It’s a great opportunity, and I’m the first person he’s made this offer to. That’s huge in my book, but I need to feel one hundred percent ready for that adventure. We can add it to the other fear list and tackle it later.
With my hair pulled up in a half twist, I add a little blush to my cheeks and call it a day. I head to my closet, ignoring the phone just a little longer and giving myself a high five for having willpower this morning. Knowing that I will be climbing up and down from a ladder at the shoot, I pull down a pair of stretchy jeans and my blue, teal, and coral chevron top that I love. It’s comfortable and moves with me when I get into the zone. I dig out my teal Chucks as I’ll need to protect my feet. Last time I was up on the ladder doing a shoot, I almost busted my butt when my flip flop slipped off. That was the last time I wore a pair of shoes with no straps during a shoot. I never wear jewelry when shooting other than a simple pair of diamond stud earrings. After sliding them in my ears, I’m ready to tackle the day.
Now I treat myself with my phone, and I notice I have a few other messages waiting for a response.
Zara: Why is your house dark? Are you asleep? Where are you?
Morgan: Did you ask Evan about coming tomorrow? I need a head count.
Brody: Still meeting today at noon? Sushi?
Evan: Good Morning, sunshine, I hope you slept well. Text me when you’re awake.
I start with Morgan first as she’s simple.
Me: Yes, there will be three in my party please.
Next is Brody.
Me: Yes, noon and Sushi. See you soon.
Zara comes in third before she calls the SWAT team to raid my house and search for me.
Me: I actually slept the whole night and was in the shower. How are you feeling? Baby yet?
Saving the best for last, I dive in to message Evan.
Me: Good morning to you, I hope you had a good night and even better morning. What’s on your agenda today? Selling your house to run from me already? (Wink Wink)
Brody confirms our meeting, and a part of me dreads it. I know that we’ve come to a crossroad where we need to toss in the towel. I just hope all these years of friendship isn’t forgotten. There was a time that I wouldn’t go a day without speaking to him, and now we go weeks with nothing. Maybe after today we can get back to being the friends we were before we tried to have something more. Now, there isn’t going to be the pressure of making the other happy, giving flowers and all the other junk that comes along with it. It’ll just be two grownups who have history together and work better as friends.
Zara: If I was having a baby, I’d pull you out of that bed by your feet. How was dinner last night, and Brody told me about lunch today? Do you need support to come along?
Me: Good, remember to keep your legs closed for at least another week… Dinner was good and eventful; I’ll tell you about it later. I think I’m as ready as I can be for lunch. I just don’t want to hurt him anymore.
I open up the text I sent to Evan and slump forward as I haven’t received anything back yet. Deciding that I need a little caffeine this morning, I head out to make me a cup of coffee. Honestly, I should have tea this morning as I’ve been having cramps, but blow it off as I’m craving the real stuff. Just means I’ll double up later and make sure to drink plenty of water before the shoot. I plop my phone in the docking station on the counter and crank up a little music before I put the K-cup in the machine. While that brews, I head back to my office and grab my camera bag from the desk. Right when I exit the room, I turn back to grab a few extra battery packs just in case.
Back in the kitchen, I move my camera around to make sure I can get everything in. Natasha got this bag for me last year for my birthday, and I can’t picture using something else now. At first I wasn’t sure about it, but now it’s perfect. It looks like a bowling bag but hipper. It’s solid black leather with long enough straps that I can carry like a purse. Inside are plenty of compartments for my camera, extra lenses, and of course my five other batteries. On the side is a zipper compartment where I can slide my phone, keys, money, and license in to prevent me from having to carry another purse. Lugging th
is around for hours is enough to keep up with. The girls picked on me for how many times I’ve had to get a new license or debit card. It wasn’t because I lost them, it was the fact that I would slide them in my back pocket, bend and break them over time. Like I said, best present ever.
Pouring a little cream in my much-needed coffee, I hear a faint knock coming from the front door. I turn the music down and listen for it again. I’m not expecting company. I check the peep hole and smile when I notice it’s Evan standing out front. I open the door and smile.
“Morning,” I say and gesture for him to come in. I quickly look around the place for a thrown bra or dirty clothes. This is the first time he’s been here, and I have a habit of just tossing stuff places when I enter. “Just got back from dropping Neil off at school and thought I’d stop by instead of texting back.”
“Oh, I haven’t checked my phone since I texted you last. Been getting my stuff ready for today. Want a cup of coffee, water, juice, or hot tea.”
“Thanks, but I’m good. Just to be clear, you can’t get rid of me that quick. I’m not selling my house, but I do have papers to complete for the one I sold this morning.”
“Wow, you’ve already been to work?” I ask with a funny face because it’s still early. I check the clock on the microwave and notice it’s already ten; in reality, it’s not that early and someone could have already sold a house.
“It’s the one I’ve been working on. The offer came in, and the sellers accepted. Just gotta run into the city today to finalize stuff,” he explains, and I notice he’s staring at my walls.
“Want a tour.”
“Sure, is this your work?” he asks, pointing to the prints hanging up in the living room.
“Guilty as charged.”
“These are beautiful. I’d heard that you did amazing work, but I wasn’t expecting this style.”
“I dabble in a lot of different aspects of photography. Today I’m doing a model shoot, tomorrow I’m doing a grand opening for a bakery, and I think it’s this Saturday I have a birthday party to shoot. See, I’m just versatile with my talent.”
“No, seriously, Frankie, I love these. Do you ever sell them? Or have you ever done a gallery showing?”
“No, I’ve been trying to go to this new gallery that just opened downtown, but I haven’t found the time. I just like taking pictures of stuff that captures me.”
I notice him stopping before the photo of us girls, Hatcher, and Brody that I just placed on my mantle the other day. I quickly step beside him and slide my arm into his. “That was taken right before Morgan’s first bakery opened, and you’ll see the same shot at the new bakery framed. You have to understand that we all have history, but that’s what it is—history.”
“I know that, and you haven’t done anything to make me not trust you. You didn’t have to tell me about your lunch with him today, but you did. I was just admiring the smile on your face here. I like it when you smile, when it reaches your eyes like this. I’ve witnessed it a few times myself, and I hope I can see it more.”
I push up on my toes and place a gentle yet meaningful kiss on his temple. “Thank you for understanding. When do you think you’ll be done with work at the office today?”
“A couple hours, I need to head there now. I just wanted to see you before I fully started my day.”
“Ah aren’t you sweet,”
“At times I am.”
“Well, how about this… Text me when you are done, and I’ll let you know where I am. I have to be at the studio at two, and if you want to stop by you’re more than welcome to come see me do my thing. I’m sure it sounds boring to you, but you know—well just text me,” I mumble my last words as I realize I might be being to forward. I mean, who wants to stand around and watch someone click a button over and over again?
“I’d love to stop by. I’ll text you when I’m done, and let me know if you need me before then, okay.”
I nod because I know exactly what he’s referring to; he wants to make sure I’m okay after lunch.
He leads me to the door, but before he opens it, I’m taken back with another one of what I’m going to start calling ‘Evan kiss of all kisses.’
We say our goodbyes, and before I know it, it’s time for me to head to the city myself.
I arrive at the restaurant before Brody and grab us a table. My palms are moist, and I keep running them up and down my pants legs. I requested a water because I don’t think my body could handle any caffeine at this moment. Heck, I don’t even think I can eat. Brody walks in, and immediately the atmosphere in the places changes. A cool air rushes against my skin like death in the night. It’s then that I finally realize this is the best thing to do. It’s truly time to let him go, and if I have to let him go as a friend, I have to cut that string also. I’ve never claimed to be a saint, but in a way, I did and still do love him. It’s just not the right kind of love to make a future together work.
“Hey,” he says, sliding into the booth across from me.
“Hey, I ordered you a Pepsi with no ice. Hope that’s okay?”
“Thanks, that’s perfect. How are you?”
“Good, you?”
“Good,” he says, and that awkward silence slams down against us. The whole restaurant becomes quiet, like they are all waiting for a scene to be caused. Or the fact that they suspect this is a breakup lunch. The sad thing is we used to come here all the time for lunch. It’s always been our place as we are the only ones who enjoy eating Sushi once or twice a week. The girls could take it or leave it. Which meant I always dragged Brody, and over the years he’s come to love it just as much as I do.
Breaking the ice, I ask, “Hungry? Ready to order.” I shift in my seat, looking around for the waiter. I place my napkin in my lap so I can twiddle my fingers with it, or else I might need a brown bag to breath in. My chest is so heavy it feels as if it could collapse at any moment.
“Starving,” he says, waving over the waiter.
I go with my usual, Fuji lunch that has all my favorites—two tuna rolls, two salmon sushi, and a California roll for good measure. It comes with a side of Miso soup, and Brody requests the same thing. He does this because he knows I’ll steal one of his salmon, and he will take a tuna roll from mine. That’s how we operate, and that pains my heart because I’m giving that all up for his happiness and mine.
“Want to dig into this before we eat or after?” I cut to the chase as I can’t wait anymore. I need to know now where this is going. Is this goodbye forever, or what?
“We can start; I think we both have a lot to say to clear up a few things.”
“I think you’re right. Who’s first?”
“I’ll start, because I need you to hear this from me before anyone else.”
“Okay,” I say with caution as I’m not sure what to expect next.
“Frankie, I need you to know that at one time I loved you so deeply that I couldn’t see straight. I would have moved the world for you, built you a mountain to stand on, but recently I realized that the love that we both shared for each other wasn’t really true love. I think for the longest time I wanted to protect you, give you what you needed to be happy because I couldn’t stand to see you sad. I’ve recently understood that I wasn’t helping you or me. I was hurting us both in the end. I’ve been dating Mary Beth, and I haven’t given her my whole attention as I was holding out for you. A few things made me take notice, see that you would never smile at me like you did the other day when you talked about Evan.” I go to stop him, but he grabs the one hand I have on top of the table and stops me. “Listen to me, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, and yes, I heard more than what I needed. It wasn’t even what I heard, it was your eyes. I saw a light in them that I’ve never seen before, Frankie, and that’s special. I also dug deep that day and talked to Hatcher a ton about my relationship with Mary Beth. To give her a fair chance, I have to let you go; not forever but for a little while. For both of us, we need to put a hold on our friendship. I ne
ed to hand over the responsibility of you to someone else, as you need to do for me. I think I will always love you, and you’re my best friend. I need to focus on Mary Beth right now, and I don’t know how to do that if I see you all the time.”
He stops, and I can’t fight the tears anymore. This was the one thing I feared the most years ago—losing him forever. Every word he said is true. Evan makes me feel safe with or without my history. Brody makes me feel different, but in a good way also. Our friendship is beyond complicated.
“Will we ever be able to go back?” I ask through a sniffle.
“In time, yes. Both of our best friends are married, we’re going to be their daughter’s god parents. We will figure it out, and I know you knew this was coming; it just had to be put out in the open.
“Who’s going to eat Sushi with me?”
“I’ll be your Sushi buddy always, but maybe in a month we can meet again and laugh about the past as we talk about the future.”
“I’d like that… How are you and Mary Beth?”
“Good, I asked her to move in with me, so that’s a huge step.”
“Wow, yeah, I’d say that’s pretty huge. For what it’s worth, I’m happy you found someone. I just don’t want to give my Brody up forever.”
“It’s not forever, Frankie—just a little break. It’ll fly by before you know it.”
“Are y’all coming tomorrow to the opening?”
“We are, what about you?”
“Yes, and just so you know Evan and his son, Neil, are coming. I think you’d really like him.”
“If he makes you happy, then I know I’ll like him.”
“What do we do now?” I ask as our lunch is placed on the table before us. I’ve lost my appetite but know that I need to eat or it’ll be way past dinner before I get the chance to grab something.
“Let’s eat and talk about the weather,” he says, popping in a tuna roll, and it causes me to laugh—which I needed.
Heated Sweets (A Taste of Love Book 3) Page 9