by Layla Reyne
It’d take a while for the hurt caused by Coach’s initial doubt to fully heal, but his trust and confidence now went a long way to speeding up the process.
“Yes, Coach,” he said, ready to get back in the water, to get back to his dream.
Dane caught up to Coach in the hallway outside his office. The older man looked surlier and more wrinkled than his usual, well-pressed self. As hard as the past few days had been on Dane and Alex, it couldn’t have been easy on Coach either. Having to sideline his protégé and captain, Dane going AWOL, the Committee and PR likely breathing down his neck.
“I’m guessing I’ve got you to thank for my missing ID badge,” Coach said.
Hedging his bets on Coach’s sour mood, Dane skirted the truth. “I didn’t take it, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“But you have it.” When Dane didn’t reply, Coach sighed, tired and frustrated, and held out a hand. “Just give me the damn card, Ellis.”
Dane unzipped his computer bag, dug around for the card, and handed it over. “We didn’t have to use it.”
“Good. Wasn’t sure how I was going to explain being in two places at once.”
“Speaking of, can I show you what we found?” Dane patted his bag, impatient. “I want to know Alex is clear.”
Rather than entering his office, Coach led him into the conference room across the hall. “I want to see what you have before I talk to Nichols.”
Nodding, Dane crossed the hall into the room, withdrew his computer, and set it up on the table. Once booted up, he walked Coach through the before and after test results, pointing out the markers that proved this was Alex’s sample, the changed NEG to POS, and Ryan’s User ID on the ghost of the changed document.
“Well, that’s pretty damn convincing,” Coach said, when Dane finished. “And with the recording Alex made, Ryan all but confessed. I’ll want to draw blood from both of you after practice today, to further make the case to the Committee, which I’ll do this evening. I’ve already set up a conference call.”
Dane barely kept still on the edge of his chair, bouncing as badly as Alex had earlier in the day. “How fast will we know something? We leave for international training tomorrow.”
“Alex is here, ready to leave with us, thanks to you. You were right to go after him, and you were right about this.” Coach nodded at the computer, then slumped back in his chair. “Not sure I’ll ever forgive myself for doubting him and my gut. I knew he didn’t dope, but with the test results and how everything had turned around . . .”
“Because he’d gotten through to me,” Dane said, pointing at himself. “I was the one holding the team back.”
“And now you’ve brought him and the team back together. Can’t thank you enough, Ellis.” Sighing, Coach ran both hands over his black hair, slicking it back. Surly had given way to upset, with himself.
“You let Alex go back and swim,” Dane said. “Let him go back and captain. That’s a good start. And hey, if he could forgive me after a decade of turning my back on him, he’ll forgive you for doing so this once.”
Before Coach could respond, a commotion broke out in the hallway, and the loudest voice of all . . . Patrick Ellis. Demanding to know where his son was. Dane froze. Standing up to them on the phone was one thing, in the airport where they weren’t another, but this—face-to-face—was a whole different battle. He’d known it was coming. He’d just hoped for a moment to breathe first, maybe spend some time in the pool and get a kiss from Alex before he went off to war.
Coach was on his feet already. “I can tell them you’re not here.”
Dane rose, forcing his legs steady. “No, this is going to happen one way or the other. I’d rather we get it done before we leave.”
Coach wrapped his hand around the door handle and paused. “You sure?”
About being with Alex, he’d never been more sure about anything. He had to do this, for Alex, and for himself. “Yes,” he answered, and Coach opened the door.
His mother and father charged in like they owned the place. Camera-ready, perfectly pressed, and noses aloft. Cold in their fury, especially his father’s eyes.
“Mrs. Ellis, Reverend,” Coach said, deflecting their ire.
“What kind of operation are you running here?” his mother snapped. “My son was gone for thirty-six hours, going after that drug user, and you didn’t know?”
“Because I asked my team to cover for me,” Dane said. “Coach had nothing to do with it. And Alex didn’t use any drugs.”
“He put that boy on your team.”
Always, that boy, never Alex.
Dane’s confidence, his own anger, came screaming back. He’d put a name to the man he loved, even if they wouldn’t. “Alex earned his spot on his team. I’m the one who’s lucky to be on it. Just like I’m lucky he still loves me.”
“Love,” his mother scoffed, rolling her eyes. “You’re too young to know what that word means.”
“Respectfully, ma’am,” Coach said, stepping to Dane’s side, “what your son did for Alex is a level of devotion I rarely see from people much older than him.”
She waved him off. “It’s a phase, Coach Hartl. He hasn’t grown out of it yet.”
“Respectfully,” Coach started again, obviously trying to keep things civil, “I don’t think you understand how this works.”
Civility wasn’t going to work with his parents. “You don’t owe them respect,” Dane said to Coach. “Not until they show you, me, or Alex some.” Then to his mother, “I’m twenty-six. Like I told you the other night, me being gay isn’t a phase now, and it wasn’t a phase at sixteen. It’s who I am.”
Painted lips pressed together, she looked stymied. “We can’t have a gay son.”
“Well, you do.” That was the simple truth of it.
His father finally spoke, his voice brooking no argument, full of fire and brimstone, in only two words. “We don’t.”
A boulder of ice lodged in the pit of Dane’s stomach. He’d known it was coming to this, but to be actually disowned by his parents, to be made to feel like he didn’t exist in their world because of something he couldn’t help, was a regretfully Titanic moment. Only the thought of Alex waiting for him, loving him, kept him from sinking.
“If this is the path you chose, it is not the path to God, and we cannot join you on it. Nor can you join us on ours.”
But it wasn’t a choice he made. Being gay was no different than his blue eyes or his red hair. He couldn’t change who he was attracted to, who he loved.
“That’s a very narrow interpretation,” Coach said.
“It’s the Word of the Gospel.”
“Your narrow interpretation of it. One you’re willing to choose over your son?” Coach laid a hand on his shoulder, and Dane swallowed hard, blinking back tears. “A son you should be proud of, for sticking by his friends, standing up for someone he loves, and being one of the best swimmers in the world.”
“Dane, please reconsider,” his mother said, no real plea in her voice. It was more like a final sales pitch, capped with a threat because that’s what she did best. “You’ll lose everything.”
He held his head high and drew his shoulders back, summoning up that confidence from the airport, the confidence in being himself, in being real. “I’ve reconsidered all my life, Mom. And if I do it again this time, I’ll lose the two things that matter most—myself and Alex.”
Another voice entered the fray. “You won’t lose everything,” Roger said from the doorway, winded but smiling, Bas looking on from over his shoulder. “We were right. After that announcement at the airport, I’ve had calls from a dozen new companies wanting to sponsor you. Alex too, if you can wrangle him. And all your current sponsors are still onboard.”
“Those existing sponsorships are in the Trust’s name,” his mother said.
Bas rapped his knuckles on the doorjamb. “Good thing I know a fantastic lawyer.” Dane tilted his head in question, and Bas smiled, wide and more than a
little devious. “My mom,” he answered. “She’s gonna hate you because she’s always wanted Alex for a son-in-law, but she’ll love you for making him happy.”
That block of ice in Dane’s stomach began to thaw. Coach chipped away at it some more. “And if you need a job, which doesn’t sound like you will, but if you do, I’ll make sure you’ve got one at USOC.”
Where he could coach and swim, side by side with Alex, every day. He’d like that, a lot. “I might take you up on that, sponsorships or not.”
“Dane, we’re your family,” his mother urged, changing her tune, a never-heard-before thread of desperation in her voice. With Roger’s pronouncement, and Bas and Coach rallying to his side, she was seeing her golden goose take flight.
Fly, babe.
That’s what Alex would say, and that’s what he did, fighting back, flying high. “Only if I fit into the role that suits you, a role that’s not the real me.” He looked around, at Coach, at Bas, and thought about Alex and Jacob in the pool, and Mo back in DC. “I’ve got plenty of family who like me just the way I am.”
“Son,” his father clipped. “You can’t go back from here.”
“I don’t plan to. I’m going forward, with Alex, with my team, and we’re going to bring home the gold.”
“And on that note,” Coach said, breaking into a smile as he gestured to the door. “Reverend, Mrs. Ellis, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Respectfully.”
Alex stood by the window in Dane’s room, phone to his ear.
Bas and Jacob were sitting on the end of the bed behind him, Dane against the headboard, inhaling a takeout meal of one of everything from the Hill Country BBQ place they’d eyed since arriving in San Antonio. Last practice done, they’d rewarded themselves with brisket, ribs, mac and cheese, baked beans, and jalapeño corn muffins, a little bit of everything Texan for their last night in Texas.
They’d just started piling their plates high when Alex’s mom returned his call from earlier in the day. He filled her in on what was happening, including the possibility he’d be leaving for international training tomorrow.
“You’re sure everything’s okay there?” he asked. “I’m sorry I was there and gone again.”
“Don’t apologize, mijo. You did what I told you to do. I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed SportsCenter as much as I did tonight, seeing you smiling and happy at the airport and pool.”
Needless to say, his and Dane’s announcement and the doping controversy that wasn’t had been the lead sports story of the day. Coach had handled the latter well, Roger the former with the glee of a publicist working a whole new angle.
His phone dinged with an incoming text.
“Just sent you a picture,” his mom said. “So you’ll stop worrying.”
He lowered the phone to take a look. On the screen was a picture of his family, holding up the blue blanket she’d been knitting, and in rainbow colors across the middle, the words Go for the Gold, Alex, and in what he could tell was a last minute yet heartfelt addition, And Dane tacked on beneath his name.
They were behind him, behind them, all the way.
“Thanks, Mom,” he said. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you all.” He’d gotten so lucky to have a family that accepted and supported him. They would do the same for Dane too.
“You’re a good son, Alejandro. Someone we’re all proud of. Though if you boys don’t bring home a relay gold this time, I’ll repurpose the blanket into mittens and a toboggan for winter.” He loved hearing that spark back in her voice, even if it was at his expense.
“We’ll see what we can do,” he said, grinning.
When he was done saying goodbyes to the rest of his family, they hung up, and he took the phone over to the bed, showing the picture to Dane, then to Bas and Jacob.
“She says she’ll be very disappointed if we don’t bring home the gold.”
“Nuh-uh.” Bas waved a rib at him. “I know Mrs. C. That’s not what she said.”
Alex rolled his eyes and tossed a corn muffin at him. “Fine, she said she’ll make mittens and a cap out of it if we lose.”
Bas caught the corn muffin and stuffed it in his mouth. “That’s more like it,” he said around the mouthful of food. “I love that woman.”
They all rolled with laugher, even Dane, which Alex was grateful for after what he’d learned of the confrontation with his parents. Dane and Bas had appeared on deck twenty minutes after Alex, and for the rest of practice, the relay teams had run hard. The days off had thankfully not dulled their timing when running as they should. After, as Coach had drawn blood for their retests, Dane had given Alex a recap of the showdown with his parents. Alex could tell it had upset Dane, but they’d both known that’s where things were headed, and Dane seemed relieved to have it over with and to have Coach, Roger, the team, and Alex behind him.
“What’d Coach and the Committee say about the evidence?” Jacob asked.
“They wanted to check it themselves, given my personal investment in the matter,” Dane answered, bumping Alex’s side. “Coach was pretty confident it would get sorted out.”
And Dane was confident enough to insist Alex pack his bags for the flight to Europe tomorrow. They sat ready to go next to Dane’s, who’d insisted, when leaving Colorado, that Alex bring everything back with him. Alex hoped all his insisting wasn’t for naught.
“What’s going to happen to Ryan?” Jacob asked.
“He’s off the team,” Alex answered. “Likely off his club team too.”
“I still can’t believe he did that,” Bas said.
Alex had a hard time wrapping his head around it too. “No one said anything at the practice or after, but how much of a concern is it?” he asked Jacob, the youngest member on their team. “Us returners hogging spots and medals.”
“It’s out there,” Jacob replied. “You can either resent it or learn from it. Most of us choose the latter.”
Alex reached over and ruffled the short mop of hair growing back on his head. “Thank you, guys, for sticking by me. I know I don’t make it easy.”
“You take on too much,” Bas said. “But that’s why you’re the captain. And we’re behind you. Especially that one.” He held a hand out to Dane, who shook it. “You proved me wrong, Ellis. Couldn’t be happier about that.”
As they finished eating, talk moved to lap times, seedings, and likely competitors, time passing unnoticed until the knocking of nightly bed checks sounded down the hallway.
“That’s our sign to go, Pup,” Bas said. “Let’s leave the lovebirds to it.”
They gathered up the takeout boxes to toss in the hall trashcan, and Alex and Dane unfolded from where they were nestled together against the headboard.
“Thanks for helping with the takedown, Pup,” Alex said, following them to the door. “Those were some impressive moves.”
“I’m just glad you two are back and happy,” Jacob said, pulling first him, then Dane, into bear hugs.
Bas approached next with a backslapping bro hug. “Glad I was wrong.”
Before he stepped away, Alex asked, “We’re not the only lovebirds here, are we?” He hadn’t missed how Jacob and Bas were even more connected at the hip than when he’d left and how they gravitated toward each other in any situation.
The pup picked up his pace to the door, confirming Alex’s suspicions, and Alex clasped Bas’s arm, holding him back. “Do you know what you’re doing there?”
“Not doing anything,” Bas said, playing dumb.
If this threatened the team. If it cost them the relay gold like another of Bas’s mistakes had four years ago . . .
“I won’t fuck up again,” Bas said, reading his mind. “Now, turn off that captain brain for a night,” Bas added, knowing him too well. “Enjoy your last night off with your boyfriend before the chaos starts tomorrow.”
“If it starts tomorrow, for me at least.”
Dane slung an arm around his waist, hauling him close and kissing his temple. “It w
ill.”
“He’s right,” Bas said. “And if this afternoon was any indication, heaven help us all with you back as captain.”
He skirted out of the room before either he or Dane could lob a comeback.
The door clicked shut behind them, and Alex turned in Dane’s arms.
“You want to talk more about what went down with your parents?” he asked.
“Not really.” Dane ducked his head for a kiss, and Alex evaded.
“But they weren’t behind Ryan changing the test. At the airport, then after with them here, you did all that—came out—for nothing?”
Dane tugged him over to the bed, bringing Alex tumbling down with him. “Not for nothing.” He rolled so Alex was underneath him, forearms braced on either side of his head. “For you.” He stared down, blue eyes swirling with a devotion that made the question nagging Alex hard to ask. But necessary.
“Where does this go, Dane, after Madrid?”
“You and me, in Colorado Springs, if you’ll have me. I don’t plan on spending another decade without you.” Dane’s thumbs played with the hair at his temples. He seemed so calm, so at peace, even as they talked about uprooting his life.
“Just like that, you’ll leave everything, for me?”
He smiled, small, a sudden sadness creeping in. “What’s there to leave? I live at home with my parents. I swim for a club five miles from my house.”
“One of the best clubs in the country.”
“One of the best. But as you said, any club would be happy to have me. The question is, would you?”
“Would I what?”
“Be happy to have me, for good?”
Heart pounding, Alex ran his hands up Dane’s arms, over his shoulders, and to his neck, finding Dane’s own racing pulse there, betraying his outer calm. He’d offered himself to Alex, afraid he might be turned away.
“This is real, isn’t it?” Alex said, marveling at this new road he found himself on.
With Dane.