by Lauren Dane
She was embarrassed most likely, but she was smart. She’d figure out he only wanted her to be safe and would come around. Couples fought. Heaven knew PJ and Asa did. And despite being a giant tool, Asa still found his way back to PJ time and again.
When Duke showed up to work Monday, Carmella was already there, as she was wont to be, studiously avoiding him. So he let that go too.
He was a patient man. She’d come around.
By day three it wasn’t any fun anymore.
Every time he tried to swing through her office, she was on the phone. If he saw her heading to the break room and moved to intercept her, he always got waylaid.
She’d blocked his number from her phone, and when he came to her door the night before, she didn’t answer.
Even Ginger was giving him the cold shoulder. The dog who’d loved him just a week before no longer jumped to her feet to come greet him when he entered the room.
“You going to tell me why you’re so pissy this week?” Mick asked, approaching, wearing a master schedule face.
“I’m not pissy. Why are you bothering me?” Duke said in what sounded like a pretty pissy voice.
“Just checking with you. What’s your timeline like on this?” Mick indicated the dozens of pieces of the ’73 Duster’s engine.
“I’m not Rumpelstiltskin. I can’t spin gold from this shit. It’s an old engine and no one took care of it,” Duke said.
“Yadda yadda. I get it. You’re great.” Mick patted Duke’s head. “Now, so like a week? A day? An hour? You complain but it never really seems to connect with just exactly how much time it takes you to fix something so make your answer time specific.”
“Four days. Go away.” Duke turned his attention back to all the parts spread out before him. Like a puzzle. If he focused on that, he could forget his annoyance about Carmella.
“Does this have anything to do with the way you look at Carmella and she goes out of her way not to look at you? Did you guys have a fight and that’s why you didn’t come out on Saturday?” Mick asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Duke wasn’t used to being the one who needed this kind of support. He was the one Mick and Asa came to for advice. He talked people down, defused potential friendship-ending arguments, mediated problems.
Duke liked that. And he most certainly didn’t like it being the other way around.
Mick blew out a breath. “All right. At least talk to someone, man.”
Duke knew a lot of people. He seemed to be the kind of person others thought of as a friend. He got along with most everyone. Knew how to listen more than he spoke.
But Mick and Asa weren’t simply friends. The three of them were family. In truth, Duke trusted them more than the brother he was related to. Mick had reenlisted and spent a few years away from Duke and Asa. Away from the foundation of the life they’d built, of the shop. Their friend had only come home to Seattle the year before.
More than just about anyone Duke had ever known, Mick needed roots. He needed to belong. Duke needed to remember that and not make his friend feel rejected just because Duke was on the outs with his woman.
“Damn it.” Duke tossed the cleaning cloth he’d been using to the counter.
“Let’s go to lunch.” Mick jerked his chin toward the door leading outside.
“I was in the neighborhood so I figured I’d drop in to see if you were free for lunch.”
Carmella grinned as her cousin Craig came through to her office. She hadn’t seen him in nearly two weeks. “I’m so glad you did. I’m free and really hungry.”
The hug was something she’d really needed. Enough that he noticed, eyeing her carefully.
But before he could question her about it, she wanted to be away from work. “When we have food, we can continue this conversation. And since you’re a full-time college student now, lunch is on me,” Carmella said.
Instead of taking over his father’s shop, Craig had decided to go back to school to get his engineering degree. The entire family had been behind the choice. Craig wanted to design aircraft. Carmella couldn’t have kept the shop up. So they’d sold to one of their mechanics, who’d relaunched as a franchise in a chain store.
“Excellent.”
They walked across the street to the burger place. “They’re having clam chowder today.” Carmella pointed.
“You always remember.” Craig put an arm around her shoulders and hugged her to his side. “So, you’re in a fight with Duke? Did he do something really bad? If I’m going to be punching him, I should have fries. Bulk up and all.”
Carmella burst out laughing. “I’m so glad you came by. I really needed to see a friendly face.”
He frowned but held his question until they’d gotten seated and had ordered.
“I thought you two were cool. What happened?” Craig asked.
“I thought we were cool too. One minute we’re chilling, getting ready to spend the day on the water, and then boom he comes out of my bathroom …” Carmella jerked out of her conversation and wrenched her neck to the side.
Duke stood there with Mick, who waved and smiled.
“Go on with your story,” Duke said.
“Go away, Duke,” Carmella whispered.
“No. I want to hear how you’re going to spin this to Craig.”
“Why the hell are you speaking to her that way?” Craig demanded.
“He’s got a point,” Mick murmured. “Maybe let’s all sit down and chat this out.”
Carmella wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. The whole situation was humiliating.
She leaned out to speak directly to Mick. “There’s nothing to chat out, Mick. I appreciate that you’re trying to help. I’m having lunch. I clocked out if there’s an issue with my work performance.”
With an annoyed growl, Duke threw himself into the open chair on Carmella’s side of the table and Mick settled next to Craig.
“Does he know?” Duke jerked a head at Craig.
“That you’re an astounding idiot?” Carmella asked. “We all do.”
Mick snickered and quieted at Duke’s glare.
“About all the pills,” Duke said through clenched teeth.
This motherfucker. He was really going to do this here?
Carmella wished she hadn’t already drained her iced tea because she wanted to throw it in his face. Instead she kept her cool. “You’re truly picking this hill to die on, Duke?”
“You’re the one trying to spin it.” Duke raised one shoulder, deliberately slow.
Which only made her want to hit him in the nose with a rolled-up menu. “Trying to spin what? What am I spinning?”
Craig rapped his knuckles on the tabletop. “I’m going to suggest someone tell me why Duke is speaking to my cousin in that tone. I’m beginning to get cranky, which makes me want to punch whoever is making her so sad.”
Duke looked up at Craig’s demand. “I’m worried about her and you should be too.”
Carmella leveled a glare at Duke. “Stop this.”
“He asked, Carm,” Duke said. “I’m just answering.”
“Why is it you’re worried about her?” Craig asked.
There was no way this conversation was going to take place around her as if she wasn’t even in the room.
Carmella said, “Duke saw Mom’s pill bottles in my bathroom cabinet and has decided that I’m an addict in my ubiquitous free time.”
Craig blinked several times. “Virgie’s pills?”
Just hearing the incredulity in his voice made Carmella feel better. “Yes. Despite my repeating this multiple times, he’s convinced I’m involved in some sort of complex scheme to get pills I’m addicted to. Because doesn’t it make sense to jump to that conclusion?”
“What was I supposed to think?” Duke reached for her and she scooted away.
“I don’t know. Since you never actually asked me and instead accused me, I guess we’ll never know. What I do know is that you’re out of line. You’ve bee
n out of line and I don’t see any point where you won’t be if you keep on this way.”
“Why are you avoiding the subject then? Just tell me. If it’s such a believable story.” Duke reached toward her again.
“Avoiding? I’m here having lunch with my cousin. You came over here. Uninvited. You sat down. You’re picking a fight. That’s not me avoiding.”
She saw her food coming and got up to meet the server. “I’m so sorry, but can I get that to go?”
Craig joined her as Duke and Mick remained at the table.
“What’s going on?” Craig asked.
“I’ve lost my appetite. You stay and finish your lunch. You have a late class and you’ll be starving if you don’t.”
“I’m not letting you go when you’re this upset. You didn’t tell him any of the details about her, did you?”
He would have known how intensely private Carmella was when it came to the situation with her mother.
“He didn’t really even ask. He just accused me. I told him they belonged to my mother. I showed him the picture of her on my wall. But …”
“But the rest wasn’t his business and you wouldn’t have shared after he made you feel bad. I get it.” Craig smiled. “You don’t have to be embarrassed about it, you know.”
It had been a really long road to where she stood right then. Carmella was still working on knowing things, while at the same time, truly feeling them. She worked on that part a lot these days.
She blew out a breath. “It is what it is. Despite her flaws, she’s my mom. I love her. She’s fucked up and I take care of her. I pretty much always have. I would have shared with him. At least some of it, if he’d asked.”
“I think he needs a Come to Jesus. I won’t hit him. Unless he deserves it. A lot more than he does now. But he’s making some judgments he has no call to make.”
Duke came over. “Why are you hiding over here? We should talk this out.”
Carmella ignored Duke, speaking to Craig as she headed to the front, where her lunch had been boxed up. “Finish your food. Call me later, okay?”
“Definitely. Since we got interrupted, I didn’t even get up to speed. I want to catch up. Come over Sunday. We’ll walk over to the pub, have a pint or two.” He searched her features before kissing her forehead.
“Sounds good. Use your words, not your fists. Remember that,” Carmella told him with a wink.
She headed a few blocks down to a pretty little park. She wasn’t ready to go back to Twisted Steel just yet and she needed to get herself back together first.
“I’m totally sure I told you to approach her slowly,” Mick said when Duke and Craig came back to the table.
“She was here. I was here. We’re both adults so why not just talk about it?” Duke sat, digging into his lunch.
“Because you’re charging at her like a bull, Duke. Jesus. She’s a nice woman. She’s got good manners. You’re coming at her like she’s a rager with a rap sheet. This is about me, isn’t it?” Mick asked.
Craig growled at them both as he ate. Duke had always regarded Craig Salazar as sort of a laid-back dude. But this was a totally different side Duke hadn’t seen in the other man before.
Fiercely protective.
“Maybe you should back up and go at this from the beginning, Duke. Including this stuff about Mick,” Craig said.
“It’s really not your business,” Duke answered.
Craig put his fork down and wiped his mouth carefully with his napkin. “Well, you see, that’s where you’re wrong. You made it my business when you came over here and terrorized Carmella until she fled your presence. So, why don’t you back up and start at the beginning because I promised her I’d use my words instead of my fists and I’m already thinking about how I’ll explain to her that I failed.”
Mick snorted and then spoke to Duke. “You put yourself right where you are now. You found pills in her bathroom. Lots of them. In someone else’s name.”
He remembered that sick feeling when he’d caught sight of the rows of bottles. He’d seen the signs before and pretended everything was all right. He’d told himself Mick’s life needed something to soften the edges and help him get through the day. And that had been a mistake he wasn’t going to make again.
“I did. And so I confronted her about them,” Duke replied. “And then it went off the deep end. She kicked me out of her house.”
“I think you skipped a step or two there, Duke. You confronted her. And she said what?” Craig asked.
“She said they were her mother’s. But there were so many bottles. Ten maybe. A few from different pharmacies. I know what that means.” Duke looked over to Mick briefly.
“You don’t know shit. Virgie Hay is her mother. Those are her mother’s prescriptions. But Carmella already told you that and you didn’t believe her. The only thing you would have believed was a confession of a misdeed.” Craig ate awhile before speaking again. “You have some scenario in your head for what you think is going on but you couldn’t be more fucking wrong. About all of it.”
“So why not explain it to me?” Duke asked.
Craig rolled his eyes as he started on his second sandwich. “Because you just admitted you had your mind made up! She told you the truth and you called her a liar. And you’re faulting her for not explaining something you’d already made your mind up about? That’s stupid.”
“He did it because I had a problem. For a while, several years ago,” Mick said. “He came at this wrong, sure. But he did it from a good place.”
“And that means exactly what? You don’t know what you’ve poked at.”
Duke liked to think he was smart. Good at things. But he’d fucked up. He wasn’t sure of everything, but he knew enough to see he’d done some damage.
“So tell me, Craig. Explain it to me.”
“Why do you think you’re entitled? Huh? You think Carmella is this private for no reason?”
“If she wasn’t so damned stingy with her life, it wouldn’t have even been a problem. She shuts me out and it’s my fault?”
Craig just looked at Duke as he ate, shaking his head.
“I had a drug problem. Duke knew it and tried to talk to me about it. But I blew him off and he let it go. I ended up in the hospital having to get my stomach pumped,” Mick said. “He handled this wrong, but he did it because of that. He was worried. Help him out, man. He digs Carmella, and from what I can tell, with the exception of this, she seems to dig him back.”
Craig sighed and shoved some more fries into his face. “She’s important to me. I really dislike seeing her sad. You made her that way. I’m wary about giving you anything else to hurt her with.”
Duke scrubbed his hands over his face. “I don’t want to hurt her at all. Jesus. I was worried. Should I have stayed silent? And then what? In the ER when she’s in a fucking coma and you all knew I saw those bottles and said nothing?”
“This right here is one of those relationship things. Your shit got mixed up with her shit and it all blew up like a shit bomb.”
“You’re very poetic, Mick.” Duke rolled his eyes.
“But right.” Mick smirked.
Craig wiped his mouth with a napkin. “If you have questions about whatever she’s doing, ask her to explain. Don’t accuse her. Don’t make up your mind before she can speak. That’s a surefire way to earn your exit. And believe me, Carmella can—and does—forgive a lot. Be worthy of that.”
“You won’t just tell me?” Duke asked. “Don’t you think it’d be easier for us to work it out if I knew?”
“Take a guess. Her mother has a lot of pills. Carmella keeps them at her house instead of with her mom. It’s not that hard to piece together really.” Craig stood. “Don’t come for her if you’re not willing to do what it takes to stay. She’s had enough losers in her life.”
He turned and walked out, leaving Duke sighing and looking over to Mick. “I fucked up.” He was only now beginning to understand it. He’d come at her all wrong. E
ven though it was for the right reasons.
“Yes. You gonna fix it? Or leave it be?”
“I don’t know.” Which was sort of true. But the fact was, he wasn’t going to walk away without trying his hardest to make this right. Carmella deserved it and he did too.
Mick leaned back and looked his friend over carefully. “Look, you wouldn’t have said anything to her if you didn’t have feelings for her. I understand that. And I know why you did it. You need to tell her why you did it. And it’s cool with me if you share my story. And then grovel a lot for how you did it.”
Duke raised an eyebrow Mick’s way. “When did you get wise on romance?”
The amusement in Mick’s gaze dimmed a little. “Hard lessons are the ones that stick, I guess.”
“You ever going to tell me about it? Whatever happened that sent you back to hell after finally coming home?”
Several years back, Mick had come out of the army and back to Seattle, where Asa and Duke had begun Twisted Steel. He’d come in as the shop manager but he’d been distracted, and then without any warning, he’d reenlisted and left town.
“Yeah.” Mick sighed. “But not here and not today. Come on.” He stood and Duke joined him, dropping a tip on the way out.
The year before, Mick had come back to Seattle, and though Duke saw shadows in Mick’s gaze from time to time, he’d begun to grow some roots, to really take on a leadership role within Twisted Steel.
But he’d never really told Asa and Duke what drove him off to start with, and because both had their own shit to handle, they’d given him time to tell them. Which is what they all did with one another.
“Right on. I’m here when you’re ready. I guess I’ve got some work to do.”
Mick snorted. “You better keep your strength up for all the apologizing you’ll be doing.”
“Fuck off.”
Mick found that hilarious, still laughing when they got back to Twisted Steel. “Don’t do this at work,” his friend warned as they walked inside.
“I’m not a total idiot.” He wanted to rush up there and hash it all out. But he knew Carmella well enough to understand she’d only be embarrassed and close off even more.