by Ladew, Lisa
Zane looked deep into her eyes. “I always wanted to be John F. Kennedy, minus the assassination.”
“And surely minus the womanizing too?” Kara asked.
“Of course,” he said – too quickly and with a slippery note to his voice. Kara raised an eyebrow at him.
Zane pursed his lips and shook his head. “Okay, okay. You got me. When I was a kid, I used to think it was okay because it was Marilyn Monroe and she was the most beautiful woman in the world. But I’ve learned since then that you can’t chase beauty all your life. Everybody is going to age or have bad days or not look their best sometimes, and there are more important things than outward beauty. But I do still have a soft spot for Marilyn Monroe.”
Now his soft smile looked more self-conscious to Kara. She reached out and squeezed his hand. What he had said was beautiful.
He twined his fingers in hers. “What about you? Did you always want to be a cop?”
Kara considered her secret briefly, but decided to share. She knew he wouldn’t make fun of her. “No, I wanted to be president too.”
He leaned forward. “Really? And now?”
She sighed. “Now I realize I’m not in the right circles to ever become president, so I’ve lowered my sights a little.”
“To?”
Kara bit her lip and willed her suddenly-churning stomach to relax. “Police Chief,” she said softly.
Zane looked at the ceiling, his eyes far away. “That would be amazing. I bet you’d be really good at it too.”
Kara’s muscles unwound and her stomach gave one final flip-flop, then finally did relax. “What makes you say that?”
“I can just tell. You’re a good cop.” He lowered his eyes while he was saying it though, and Kara had the fleeting feeling he was hiding something else from her.
He lifted his gaze again and stared into her eyes, making sudden tingles shoot down her spine. “I guess that means no kids in your near future.”
“Yeah, maybe not ever. I’ve never been one to feel that motherly instinct. And I’ve got too much I want to do, you know?”
Zane nodded. “Me too. At this point, I think I might just sit the whole family thing out. My dogs are enough work for me.”
Kara laughed and opened her mouth to tell him about Duke, but before she could, the tempo of the music changed and he asked her if she wanted to dance. She did.
They stayed on the dance floor for three songs, the last one a breathy ballad in which Clint sang about true love and deep memories. Zane held her tenderly and Kara's heart began to slip a notch. Her mind started to clamber about too much too soon, but she shut it down quickly. She deserved to enjoy herself for at least tonight. She wasn’t going to read anything into this. She would think about tomorrow when it came.
When the dance ended, Kara noticed their food was at the table, getting cold. She tapped Zane on the shoulder and pointed it out. He laced his fingers through hers and led her off the dance floor. Kara dropped her eyes down his body, enjoying the view. On the back of his left leg she saw more stray dog hairs and she brushed them off.
“Oh, hey, you never told me the story about your dog’s names,” she said as they sat down at the table.
“Oh yeah,” he said, his face growing momentarily sour.
She held out her hands. “If you’d rather not tell it, that’s okay.”
“No, it’s not that bad. It’s just my ex-girlfriend gave me those dogs. Actually, my ex-fiance. They were an early wedding present. Then she cheated on me and I called off the wedding. She tried to take the dogs back but I loved them and I didn’t want to give them up. They had been a gift, you know? They were my dogs. She took me to small claims court and she lost, but she had named them before she gave them to me and she said if she couldn’t have the dogs she wanted the names. I told her I would rename the dogs.”
Zane had looked weary as he recounted the story in as few words as possible, but now he smiled. “She was a 90s TV fanatic. Guess what their names were?”
Kara’s world narrowed slightly as she remembered the blonde woman in the park. “Xena and Hercules,” she said dully.
Confusion spread across Zane’s face. “How did you - hey, are you okay?”
As much as Kara had told herself she wasn’t going to read anything into this night, she was distressed by how quickly infatuation could turn to a dull and biting anger. Why had he told her he didn’t want kids? He already had one. She might as well end the date right now. There was no reason for her to be with someone who was already lying to her. She waited to hear the rest of it, her hopes crushed by his deception. He looked at her with concern and didn’t say anything, so she prompted him.
“Aren’t you going to tell me about your little girl?”
“My what?” Zane’s eyebrows shot skyward and he leaned back in his chair, his palms open. “What are you talking about?”
Kara shook her head. She thought she had finally found a nice guy, a handsome, thoughtful man, but in reality, was he just another liar?
Chapter 11
Kara looked around the bar, sadness spreading through her. Just leave, her mind commanded her. You can get a cab home.
“I gotta go,” she said, her voice hostile.
Zane grabbed her arm. She looked at him, daggers in her eyes. He didn’t let go, but leaned forward, his face sincere. “Kara, I can tell by the look on your face that something happened to make you believe that I have a child. A-a-a little girl. But I swear I don't! Or if I do, I don't know about her. I’ve always used protection and I know protection can fail but I’ve never had a woman tell me that she was pregnant with my child or that she had my child.”
Kara’s anger lost a little bit of its momentum. He sounded like he was telling the truth. She faltered and almost dropped back into her chair. Zane redoubled his efforts. “Please Kara, I really like you, and I’m not lying to you. Tell me what’s going on.”
Strength leaked out of Kara’s limbs. She sat heavily in her chair and thought about where to begin. “Your ex-girlfriend, the one who gave you the dogs. What’s her name?”
“Kensi.”
Kara blinked at him. Kensi? Never mind. It fit the woman that she had seen in the park. “Is she slim, with long blonde hair? Has an affinity for gold jewelry and lots of makeup?”
Zane nodded with every question she asked, his expression wilting. “That’s her,” he whispered.
“I saw her at the dog park today with Xena and Hercules, and a little girl she called Zaina."
“Oh God,” Zane whispered, his complexion turning the color of milk.
“When’s the last time you saw her?”
“Ah - we broke up almost three years ago. I saw her a month later at court, and I haven’t seen her since. I think she left town for a year or two, went to live with her aunt or something in New York. I didn’t even know she was back in Westwood Harbor.”
Kara nodded. “The little girl was about two years old. She had curly black hair and dark eyes that reminded me a bit of you,” she said softly, her heart siding with Zane finally. If he was that little girl’s father, he didn’t even know she had existed and he had to learn like this? What a nightmare.
Zane shook his head sharply, left, then right, his eyes unreachable. He stood up quickly and Kara read true distress in his expression. “No, no, no! She wouldn’t do that!” he cried over the music, heads swiveling their way. He took a few steps around the table, oblivious to the people around him. “Would she?” he asked himself out loud, his voice cracking. He whipped his phone out of his pocket and touched the screen rapidly. Kara’s eyes followed him, her heart breaking with his.
He rounded the table and sat back down in his chair looking at his phone in dismay. “I don't even have her number anymore. I can’t even call her!”
Kara thought quickly. “Does she have a Facebook page?”
Zane shook his head. “No, or at least she didn’t used to. She had a Twitter account though.” His eyes flashed dully as he considered h
is options.
“What about her friends, or her parents? Do you know any of their numbers?”
Zane grimaced. “No, her friends never liked me, and her parents? They put on a good show, but I don't think they liked me either …” He trailed off thinking, then said, “I’ll just tweet her, I bet I’ll get a response fairly quickly. She always used to be very active on Twitter. If not, I’ll start asking around or just drive over to her mom’s house.”
Kara caressed Zane’s arm, not liking the lost look in his eyes.
Zane grabbed her hand and leaned forward. “I just wish I could talk to her right now, you know? It’s burning me up. I need to know, am I a father?” He shook his head and shot to his feet. “Can we take a walk? I feel like I need to move.”
“Sure, let’s go.”
Zane dropped her hand, pulled his wallet out of his pocket and threw several bills on the table. He put his wallet back in his pocket, patted the wallet once, then patted his right front pocket (where Kara knew his keys were) three times. Kara’s eyes shot to his face, but he was trying to catch Clint’s eye. When he did, Zane gave him a small wave and then grasped Kara’s hand again, pulling her towards the exit.
As Zane pushed the door open, Kara lifted her face to the cool evening air. She felt like she had been on a roller coaster. Lots of ups and downs. Zane looked both ways, then settled on a direction, turned left and started walking. Kara fell into step beside him, enjoying the feel of his hand in hers and the metronome of their steps on the sidewalk.
They walked for twenty minutes, passing only a few other people on the sidewalk. Kara's thoughts swung to her own issues and she felt tension creep into her body as her mind started to tangle with the mess of her stalker again.
Zane’s voice cut through the haze of her thoughts. “Sorry I’m such bad company right now.”
“Don't be silly,” she told him. “I totally understand. This is life-changing for you. I’m sorry to be the one who told you.”
“I’m glad you did though, otherwise, I never would have known.”
“It’s not a guarantee that she’s your daughter though. We are jumping to a pretty big conclusion here.”
Zane’s head bobbed up and down. “I know, and at this point I’m not sure exactly what I want to hear when I talk to Kensi. It’s so scary to think that I fathered a child that I don't even know about, but it’s also a little compelling to think I might be a dad, you know?”
Kara grinned and shook her head no.
Zane laughed hard at that, throwing his head back. “Yeah, I bet you don't. Let’s just talk about something else. Something fun.”
“Okay, you start,” Kara said.
Zane laughed again. “Let me think.”
Kara interrupted his thoughts. “No wait, I have something. What’s with you and patting your pocket three times?”
Zane’s face turned towards her, his eyes large and horror struck. “I’ve been doing that?”
“Yeah, you’ve done it three times tonight.”
“Oh God, please don't think I’m crazy. It’s a-a habit I guess. I developed it during my first tour in Iraq and I haven’t been able to break it.” He dropped his eyes. “Well the truth is, I haven’t tried to break it. I was only eighteen when I was sent over there, and my job was to maintain and drive the trucks. Sometimes I drove equipment and sometimes I drove troops. And if I didn’t have my keys … if maybe they fell out of my pocket and I didn’t notice …”
He didn’t finish, but he didn’t have to. Kara could finish the end of that sentence. If he didn’t have his keys, people died. No AAA in Iraq.
Kara's squeezed his hand tightly. “I don't think you’re crazy. I think you’re brave, and strong, and talented.”
Zane stopped walking. Kara’s momentum carried her two more steps, but his hand twined in hers pulled her back in an arc, until she was facing him. She looked up into his face, questioningly. His dark eyes fixed on hers and bore into her. Kara felt the night air shimmer around her body. Tension sprung up her spine again, but it was a pleasant tension, a coiled, delicious tension. She had time to think Is he going to kiss me? before his lips were on hers, soft, strong, tasting faintly of beer and peppermint. Kara pressed into him, her body a steel spring of sudden willing appeasement. Her free hand crept up to his shoulder and she felt the taut muscles there. She remembered how his bare chest had looked the first day she met him and desire filled her senses. Desire to touch, to be touched, to please and to seek fulfillment.
Zane kissed her fiercely, with as much desire as she felt, until her world converged in a heady rush and she pulled backwards, suddenly remembering they were on the sidewalk in downtown Westwood Harbor.
“Whoa,” she breathed, a smile on her face.
“Whoa,” he agreed, returning her smile. “I think you’re really great too … and brave and … whatever else you said.”
Kara laughed, the tinkling sound of it echoing off of the building next to them. “Strong and talented.”
“Yeah that,” he said still holding her close. Kara could tell he was dangerously close to pulling her in for another go-round, so she extricated herself from his grip and pulled him down the sidewalk. The last thing she wanted was to find herself wrapped in the grip of passion so fiery that she found herself pushed up against the wall in an alley somewhere, her pants down around her ankles. She could tell his kiss had the power to make her think something like that was okay, at least momentarily.
They walked for another two blocks, the cool night air cooling their cheeks.
“We can turn around now,” Zane said. “I feel a little better. Not quite so … itchy to be doing something about finding my ex.”
They turned around and Zane pulled his phone out of his pocket. A few swipes with his thumb later, he said, “I tweeted her to call me right away. If she doesn’t respond to that maybe I’ll go to her mom’s tomorrow.”
His voice sounded sad again and Kara squeezed his hand, not sure what she wanted for him. If that child wasn’t his, she was going to feel horrible for putting him through this, but on the other hand, if she was, and that woman never intended to tell him ... She shuddered at the thought, then shook her head. This wasn’t about her anyway. This was one hundred percent about Zane and his life.
They made it back to the bar and Zane stopped outside. “Do you want to go back in? We never did get to eat anything. Or I can take you somewhere else for dinner. Do you have to work tomorrow?”
Kara shook her head. “I don't have to work tomorrow, but I do have an appointment with the groomer at 9 o’clock.”
“So I shouldn’t keep you out too late then,” Zane said, his face falling almost comically.
Kara tried not to giggle. “Yeah, I need to get home at a decent hour. I wouldn’t mind getting something to eat though. Anywhere you want to go.”
***
Zane thought hard. He knew he should have had a backup plan. Wednesday's was nice, but once you passed about twenty-five years old, the constant loud music was hard to sit through for more than a few hours. He needed some place great, some place where they could have relative privacy but the food was still good. This woman was special, and if she ended up being the one, he wanted this first date to always be something they could look back upon fondly.
Finally he thought of the perfect place. He took her to an old-fashioned drive-in, where they ate burgers, thick cut fries, and drank thicker milkshakes. They talked and laughed for hours and got to know each other in that swift and total way of early love. Finally, Kara looked at the time and asked him to take her back to her car.
They drove in silence back to the police station. Kara seemed content, but Zane struggled with everything he wanted to say. A thousand words overflowed in his brain but none of them seemed adequate and all of them seemed too much. When he finally pulled into the parking lot of the department it was after midnight and everything was quiet. He parked next to her car and then jumped out to try to open her door for her. His hand dipp
ed to find his pocket on its own, but he restrained it. Kara beat him out her door and slammed it shut, leaning one hip against her car and smiling at him.
“Thanks for dinner, I enjoyed myself,” she said.
Without hesitation, Zane pressed up against her and slid his hands around her waist. He wanted a second chance at that too-short kiss from earlier. “Me too. I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said softly, then lowered his lips to hers. She met his mouth eagerly and slipped her arms around his neck. Inside, he rejoiced at the feeling of warm, soft woman in his arms. He’d missed this. It’d been too long since he'd been with a woman. And he liked her. He liked her a lot. She was gorgeous, sweet, funny, smart, and hard-working. What was not to like? Nothing.
He slid his hands lower, to her hips and then around to her backside, his every sense alert for some tiny movement or reaction from her that would tell him it was too much. But instead, she made a small noise of satisfaction into his mouth and pressed her hips against him. His body reacted at once and he pulled backwards slightly, not wanting to come on too strong, not wanting her to feel too much of him, too soon. But as he pulled back, she pressed forward. He was hard in an instant and even though she had to feel it against her stomach, she didn’t pull away. Heat licked its way through his brain, searing any common sense. He pressed forward again and his hands dropped lower still to run down her firm body. Fuck, she felt good.
His fingers felt something in her back pocket. Something hard. He traced it and realized immediately what it was. He dipped his fingers into her pocket and pulled out her handcuffs, the metal clinking together. He tried to smile, speak, and kiss her all at once.
“You brought them.”
“I did. You said you wanted me to,” she said, and Zane felt he would go mad with desire at the huskiness in her voice. He reached up and pulled one of her arms down from his neck, then fastened the handcuffs around it.