by Naomi Amanda
When we were ready, the three of us headed out onto the field where Ms. Hansen stood. She was waiting for us with a bunch of younger girls, waiting to try out.
“Ms. Hansen.” Laura grinned and I forced a smile.
“You girls ready?” Ms. Hansen asked, running a hand through her boy-cut hair. “There are a lot of girls waiting to try out this year. Can I trust you three with it?”
“Definitely,” I told her, looking over the line of girls sitting on the bleachers with some of the members of our squad. “Let’s start.”
Chapter 3
It didn’t take long for the heat to start getting to people but that was part of the cheerleading clinic – learning how to cheer, dance and do stunts and the gym was occupied. We split the girls into three groups, leaving Laura to teach them how to cheer and chant. Marika had to teach them a dance routine and I had to teach them simple stunts.
It would last for a week and we’d take chances teaching the girls the basics of cheerleading until the day of the actual tryouts. Then they’d have to come up with their own cheer routine to impress us.
“Any promising girls?” I asked the few girls’ from my squad after we dispersed the tryout girls.
I browsed through the pictures of the girls who had applied. My teammates pointed out who had done well and who could do better.
When they were done, they all headed off the field, leaving me behind with Laura and Marika.
The sun had almost set completely and I knew Susan would freak if I didn’t reach home before it got dark. But I knew that she was going to be mad that I was coming home sweaty after tryouts anyway. She hated it when I went home dirty. Actually, she hated everything related to me. Period.
I tried my best not think about it too much as I walked with my two best friends toward the locker rooms. We grabbed the clothes that we had worn before and decided that it was best to head home for our showers and to wash our P.E. uniforms.
“So there was this girl,” Marika tried to say nonchalantly but I could tell she was happy about whoever it was. “I didn’t get her name and haven’t seen her around so I guess she’s a new student or something but she’s pretty good. I think she’s a dancer or something.”
“Really?” Laura perked up. “She must be good then. I didn’t see much talent in my group. They couldn’t remember the chants and were pretty bad at thinking of their own.”
“It’s fine. That’s something we can work on before homecoming,” I assured her. “It’ll be harder on us if they can’t dance or do stunts.”
“Oh, did you hear?” Laura pipped up as we walked through the empty hallway. “Logan Kendall is back in town.”
“Logan Kendall, our childhood friend – Logan Kendall?” I asked, my heart leaping to my throat at the sound of his name.
“You mean your childhood friend,” Laura corrected. “As far as I remember, you two were inseparable.”
“I don’t remember,” I said, trying to recall my childhood but I couldn’t remember anything besides playing with Logan and Laura in kindergarten and in the playground in primary school. “Didn’t he leave in fifth grade?”
“Before fifth grade,” Laura corrected me. “That was a long time ago. I don’t remember much about him but I’m curious to know him now. Heard puberty hit him well.”
I laughed as Marika shot us questioning looks. Everyone knew everyone in a small town like Northwynne. We went to school with the same kids and grew up with them until everyone split for college. Marika had moved to Northwynne in the middle of junior high so she didn’t know everyone like we did.
“You’ll see when he joins school,” Laura assured her. “I’m sure he’ll be hard to miss.”
We walked the rest of the way to the parking lot in silence. All of us were probably thinking about the same thing – or the same person, rather.
I didn’t remember much about Logan. He was a distant memory of dark hair and – what color were his eyes again? Like I said, I didn’t remember much about him. I knew that Laura and I used to play with him in school a lot but I didn’t remember anything else.
“Hey, let’s go to Candyman,” Marika suggested as we reached the parking lot. “I’m craving sour skittles.”
“Nah, I got to get home.” I sent an apologetic look her way before glancing at Laura, only to get a concerned look.
She knew how Susan hated me. It was an unspoken understanding and even though I had never verbally told her about how Susan physically abused me as well, she knew it.
“I’ll go with you.” Laura shrugged. “But you have to promise you won’t let me eat anything. My metabolism isn’t as high as yours. And you have to drop me home. I came with Cheyenne.”
“Deal.” Marika grinned and skipped off toward her car.
“Are you going to be okay?” Laura asked me as I turned toward my own car. “Call me as soon as you reach your room. I want to know that you’re okay.”
I nodded, forcing a smile.
I had known Laura for years and I also knew how much she worried about me. I had no doubt that she would drive over to check on me if I didn’t text or call her within half an hour and I couldn’t take that chance. If Susan found out that Laura knew anything about what went on inside that house, she would never let me leave the house again.
Laura hugged me goodbye before hopping into Marika’s car. I got into my own car and tried to fix my hair in the mirror so it didn’t look too messy. Giving up, I started the car and backed out of my parking space and drove home as fast as I could. It was better if I reached home before it got completely dark. Maybe if I was lucky, she would still be out and I could sneak up to my room for a shower.
When I pulled up in the driveway, I noticed that the lights were on in the kitchen and I felt my heart drop. There was no chance of her missing me as I went up to my room but I couldn’t put it off either. The later I walked into the house, the harder she would be on me.
I parked my car in the garage and got out of the car, grabbing my bag before I made my way to the house as quietly as I could. I unlocked the door with my key and stepped into the house. I could hear her humming a song which instantly gave me goosebumps. The only light illuminating the living room and staircase came from the kitchen. I tried to tiptoe toward the staircase, silently praying that she wouldn’t hear me.
I held my breath as I took the first step, hoping that the stairs wouldn’t creek under my weight. I almost let out a breath of relief when it didn’t make a sound. But instead I let out a stifled yelp as my neck bent backward excruciatingly, forcing me to look at the ceiling.
The pain ripped through my skull as she pulled my hair back, making me stumble backward. I fell to the floor, my knee making direct contact with the wooden stairs. I gasped at the pain that shot thunderously through my knee but she didn’t let go of my hair, she only yanked it harder, forcing me to stay at her feet.
“Where have you been the last four hours?” she hissed. “And you stink-”
“Cheerleading tryouts,” I tried to tell her, hating how weak my voice sounded.
“You better not be lying to me.” Her venomous voice sent chills down my spine. “I heard that boy Logan moved back to town. His parents play a huge part in the mayoral election so you better stay away from him. If you do anything to ruin this for us, you’ll never see the end of it.”
She yanked my head back with tremendous force for the last time before letting go, sending my body forward. I grabbed the staircase’s railing a second before my face could collide with it, saving myself from further injury.
“Go to your room and clean up,” she snapped. “You’re stinking up the whole house.”
I waited until she strolled back into the kitchen before I staggered to my feet. Another jolt of pain shot through my knee as I put my weight on it. I held onto the railing as I half dragged myself up the stairs and into my room. I didn’t want Cody to come out of his room and see me because that would lead to questions that I couldn’t answer.
&nb
sp; I shut the door and collapsed onto the floor with a grunt. I slowly bent my knee despite the shooting pain to notice it turning a deep red.
Wincing, I managed to get myself into the shower to get the smell of sweat and grease off of me. I needed to be clean before my father got home from work. I pulled on a pair of loose track pants to hide my bruising knee and an oversized t-shirt before realizing that I hadn’t called Laura to let her know that I was okay.
I grabbed my phone from my bag and sent her a quick text to tell her that I was fine and working on my algebra homework. Then I limped to my bed to sit down. The pain in my knee was starting to subside, only hurting when I touched it.
And the whole while I thought about Logan and about what Susan had said. The excitement Laura had put into me about our childhood friend moving back to town diminished until nothing was left but dread. If we had been friends before, why did Susan want me to stay away from him now? Because he’d find out about what a monster she was? I had been friends with Laura and Marika for the longest time and I had kept it under wraps. But how did it matter? I didn’t want things to get worse for me at home by re-befriending Logan. I had to stay away from him.
“Cheyenne, it’s time for dinner,” Cody’s small voice floated in through a crack in my door.
“I’ll be right there,” I told him, faking a smile.
The only thing I hated more than coming home after school was sitting at the same dining table as her.
Chapter 4
I settled for jeans for the rest of the week, trying my best to avoid Laura’s accusations. I even tried my hardest to hide when I changed and lied that I was wearing my tracks instead of P.E. shorts because ‘I didn’t want to get tanned’.
Marika never questioned anything but I could see the disbelief in Laura’s eyes even though she never voiced her feelings about my lies.
It was painful teaching the girls stunts for the cheerleading clinic with my knee which had turned purple by Tuesday. By the time Thursday rolled in, it was easy for me to ignore it and when I woke up on Sunday, I couldn’t feel it anymore.
“Morning, babe,” Laura’s cheery voice filled my ear on Sunday morning as I waited for the washing machine to stop. “Want to hang out at my house-”
“I have chores,” I reminded her, referring to the laundry, dusting and dishes Susan purposely left for me on Sundays to keep me from leaving the house.
Not to mention that I had to cook lunch. Sunday was ‘her time’ with her child and her husband. Something I wasn’t a part of and she made that very clear.
“It can’t take that long, right?” she asked and I hated her for her positivity. “If you start now, you can finish by lun-”
“I have to cook lunch, too,” I cut her off.
She knew better than anyone else about how my Sundays went. I wasn’t sure why she was being so adamant on hanging out.
“Fine,” she said, finally backing off. “But if you can get out of that prison, call me and we’ll meet up.”
“Deal.” I sighed before she ended the call so I could get back to putting the clothes in the dryer.
When I was done with the laundry, I moved onto the dishes that were lying in the kitchen sink. I didn’t know how anything was still there when I did them after every meal. She obviously made an extra effort to make my life miserable.
I tried my hardest to ignore the sound of the television playing in the background, mixed with Cody’s giggles. The three of them watched cartoons together while I scrapped food off of dishes and put them in the sink. I didn’t care about the fact that the three of them seemed to be enjoying themselves while I did household chores. In fact, if it had been up to me, I’d have chosen to be out with my friends than spend time with them. The part that picked at my wounds was that I didn’t really know or understand why Susan hated me so much.
I barely remembered what my childhood had been like at home before Susan got pregnant with Cody when I had been eight years old. Those nine years of my life before Cody had come along were a blur, pushed back in the dark recesses of my mind and honestly, I was too scared to remember it. Because after Cody was born, Susan started treating me like I was some kind of rabid animal instead of her step daughter.
And where was my mother through all of this? I had no idea. I had no memory of her. No picture of her to place in front of me to let me know what she even looked like. She was a ghost; one that Susan despised despite her absence. But Susan never missed a moment to tell me what a horrible mother mine had been. Apparently she had been one that had left me because she didn’t want me. And Susan thought I should feel lucky that she had taken me in.
Somewhere in my heart, I didn’t want to believe that my mother would willingly walk out on me. I didn’t want to think that she’d leave me with my father just because she hated the thought of having a daughter like me.
As my mind got lost in thought, my body worked on its own; my hands shifting soiled dishes to the sink. A plate slipped out of my hands and my mind came whirling back to reality but my reflexes weren’t as good as I thought The plate crashed onto the floor, shattering against my flip-flop clad feet, slicing my skin in various places.
I involuntarily let out a small gasp at the slicing pain and then again when I looked up, my cheek left red and burning after a stinging slap.
“You whore,” she hissed, her voice filled with venom. “What the hell are you doing?”
My heart stung more than my cheek as I wished for once that I’d have a mother who would ask me whether I was okay and help clean my wounds instead of slapping me for breaking a plate. Tears blurred my eyes but I blinked them back. It only became worse if I showed fear.
“I-it was a mistake,” I stammered. “It slipped.”
“You’re going to clean up this mess,” she snapped, jabbing a finger into my shoulder. “And stop bleeding on my floor.”
I swear I caught a glimpse of Cody when she turned around but then again, my father and she would never let him witness her abuse. As much as I wished it would stop, I was glad that they didn’t hurt Cody. I was glad that he was loved and taken care of. He was too young to witness what a monster she was, let alone feel it.
I cleaned up the mess in the kitchen, throwing the shards of the broken plate carefully so I wouldn’t slice a finger, too. Then mopped the area and by then, the bleeding from the cuts on my foot had stopped so I ran upstairs and went straight into my bathroom to clean the cuts. They stung as the water touched them but thankfully there weren’t any glass pieces still in my foot. I slowly placed Band-Aids on every cut before rummaging through my cupboard for clothes.
I couldn’t think about anything except leaving the house. Laura flashed in my mind but I shook it away. I couldn’t call her and ask her to meet. She’d know something was up and I wasn’t ready to admit to the horrors I saw in this house. I knew she’d be there for me and keep it a secret but I couldn’t get her involved. She was hotheaded and overprotective. At least she was when I opened enough to tell her things. But if I didn’t tell her, she couldn’t do or say anything and I had to keep it that way.
I pulled on a pair of shorts since my knee had finally healed and white and black color block t-shirt. I stuck my feet into a pair of black sneakers, ignoring the pain as I tied them up.
I knew I would get into a lot of trouble for not cooking lunch and finishing my chores but I wanted out. I couldn’t breathe in the house and I felt my heart clench every time I thought about how there wasn’t a day that went by that I felt safe in my own home or my own skin. Every time one wound healed, she would inflict another one upon me.
So I did something she would make me regret later. I grabbed my phone, keys and wallet and headed downstairs. If I said that I had to go out for something in front of Cody, she wouldn’t dare to open her mouth. It was obvious that she didn’t want her son – her own blood – to know what a horrible human being she was. And my father wouldn’t dare say a thing when he knew but didn’t stop what went on in our house. He c
ouldn’t take a chance of me speaking and ruining his chances at the mayoral election.
My mind ran through a hundred excuses that could get me out of the house but I couldn’t think of anything that didn’t involve Laura. I decided that I’d figure out what to say to her later.
“I need to go out,” I said in a small voice, standing behind the couch where they watched some comedy show, laughing as if nothing had happened half an hour ago.
Susan turned around to look at me and also to hide her monstrous stare from her son. “For what?”
“Laura called. Tomorrow’s Savannah – a girl from our squad’s – birthday and we have to get her something,” I lied, taking a big chance because Savannah didn’t exist. “Laura’s already at the mall. If I don’t go, she’ll come over.”
That was also a lie considering Laura had no idea that I was using her as an excuse.
“Fine,” Susan said in her fake-happy voice. “Have fun, honey. Let us know when you’re coming back.”
I nodded and turned on my heel to hurry out of the house, annoyed that my father barely acknowledged my existence. Did it help him forget what she did to me?
As soon as I stepped out of my house, I felt my lungs expand with fresh air. I could finally breathe. I quickly got into my car and backed out of the driveway and onto the street, stopping only when I was a few houses away and out of sight. Susan would be watching me from the window in the living room and I knew it.
Pulling out my phone, I texted Laura that I was picking her up so we could go out because I had no doubt that Susan would call Laura’s house to find out whether she was there. I also had a strong craving for a triple hot chocolate with whipped cream. It was one of the only things that could make me feel better when I was upset.
When I pulled up in front of Laura’s beautiful Victorian home, she was already waiting outside for me and from the look on her face; I didn’t have much time to think of good excuses.
“How and why did you come out before lunch?” she bombarded as soon as she got into my car.