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Tired Of Surviving

Page 9

by Naomi Amanda


  Laura threw herself at me, enveloping me in a hug and we started jumping around.

  “We won! We won!” she chanted in my ear and then let go.

  We watched Ava and Marika hug and let go and then I grabbed Ava by the hand.

  “Welcome to the varsity team, Ava,” I told her and her face lit up.

  I pulled her into a hug and Laura and Marika attacked us from behind, making it a group hug.

  “Chey,” Logan’s voice came from behind me, making all of us pull away. “You guys were awesome.”

  “Thanks,” Laura said, smiling widely and then turned in the opposite direction. “I’m going to go congratulate K.J.”

  Logan smiled at me, revealing his adorable dimple again and I couldn’t help but smile back. Then he stepped forward and slipped his arms around me.

  “You were so good today,” he whispered, his breath warm against my ear, sending chills down my back. “I couldn’t stop staring at you.”

  “So you were the one staring holes into my forehead,” I joked, hugging him back.

  I prayed he wouldn’t be able to feel my heart slamming against my chest. The butterflies in the stomach were going so crazy, I couldn’t contain them.

  “Are we all going separately?” Marika asked later that afternoon as we got ready for the homecoming party in Laura’s house together.

  “Yeah, K.J. is picking me up at 8,” Laura answered as she carefully curled ringlets into my hair. “What time is Logan coming?”

  “Same,” I answered, while finishing off Ava’s make-up with a cheery red lipstick. “There, you’re done.”

  Ava got up and went over to Laura’s full length mirror to analyze how she looked.

  “Oh my god,” she breathed. “I love what you did with my eyes. I can never get the smoky eyes right.”

  “The smoky eye is all she can do.” Laura laughed and I would have smacked her if she didn’t have a hot curler in her hand.

  “It’s going to look so hot with your dress,” I told her with a smile and Marika shot me a look. “What? I swear I’m not hitting on your girlfriend.”

  She laughed, shaking her head. “That wasn’t what I was getting at. When the hell did you see her dress?”

  “When she showed it to us.” I stated sarcastically.

  “You showed them your dress but you didn’t show me?” Marika asked her, looking hurt.

  “I wanted to surprise you.” Ava pouted. “Don’t get upset. I just wanted you to see me in it after we got ready.”

  Laura finished with my hair and then got started on hers while I did my own make-up.

  Once we were all done, Laura took her and my dresses out of her closet. Ava took out the box that her dress was packed in and Marika took her dress out of her bag. We all got dressed at the same time and then gave each other once overs.

  I had been right about the smoky eye for Ava. She looked extremely hot with her deep V-necked, red, satin dress that hugged her bust and had an A-line skirt. She paired it with simple black pumps.

  “Wow, you look amazing,” Marika told her and Laura and I agreed.

  “Told you.” I smirked. “And Laur, you might get kicked out with that dress.”

  “What?” She looked at herself in the mirror. “Is it too revealing?”

  She had on a royal blue and white high neckline dress with unique cutouts on the bodice and a razor back, a white A-line skirt which reached mid-thigh. She wore her royal blue stilettoes to match.

  “Yes,” all three of us answered together.

  “But I think you look amazing,” Ava piped in.

  “I better.” She ran a hand through her wavy hair. “I’m not changing. I searched for days for this dress.”

  I turned to check out Marika who had worn a salmon pink dress with a slightly puffy skirt. It had a sweet heart neckline which made it took strapless but it wasn’t. It had a thin glittered lace that covered her shoulders and the top half of the dress, getting cut off at the skirt.

  “Your dress is perfect,” I told her and she grinned.

  She had worn the same color pumps and left her hair to cascade down her back. Her make-up looked basic – slightly dark eyeshadow with a nude lipstick. It all went so well together.

  I had on a dress Laura had helped me pick out. It was an A-line mini with a jewel neckline. It was made with purple tulle fabric and the top had beaded embellishment. Laura had lent me her white strappy heels and beaded earrings to match.

  “Come here, sit,” Laura ordered me and I looked at her, confused.

  I took a seat on the chair in front of her vanity table and she reached for one of her beaded hair-ties.

  “I think tying your hair up will look better,” she told me, pulling my hair up into a pony-tail. “It’ll show off your neckline.”

  She tied my hair up, the ringlets bouncing behind my head. She pulled the short hairs out in the front and straightened them out, making it look like I had side flicks.

  “Now, we’re done,” she sang and as if on cue, the doorbell rang downstairs.

  “Laura! K.J is here!” her mom yelled from downstairs.

  “Let’s all go down together,” Laura suggested. “Knowing my parents, they have their freaking camera out, ready to film us all walking down the stairs.”

  I let out a short laugh even though I felt a weird unsettling feeling in my stomach. What I would give to have parents like hers. A mom who wanted to help us get ready for the dance and I’d have to tell her that we can do it on our own. A father who’d semi-scare our dates so they wouldn’t try anything stupid with us. Parents who wanted to photograph and film us with our dates before we left for the dance. Parents who would stay up just to make sure we got in safely later that night.

  “You okay?” Marika asked me and I noticed that Laura and Ava were already half way out of the door. I had completely spaced out.

  “Yeah,” I said quickly. “Just thinking about how fun tonight is going to be. I’m so glad I’m with you guys on our last homecoming dance.”

  “Don’t get all emotional now,” Laura scolded. “You’ll start crying then I’ll start crying and we’ll all ruin our make-up.”

  We made our way downstairs, my heart jumping to my throat when I noticed Logan standing next to K.J. at the bottom of the stairs. And as Laura had predicted, both her parents had cameras in their hands. Laura’s dad filmed us as we walked down the stairs and her mom clicked about a million pictures.

  “Mom, dad, stop.” Laura laughed. “You’re embarrassing us.”

  “What’s so embarrassing?” her mom shot back. “This is our last year to see you girls dressed up like this.”

  “You look breathtaking.” Logan leaned in to whisper in my ear and I felt those damned butterflies reappear in my stomach.

  “You don’t look so bad yourself,” I managed to whisper back, while trying not to be caught staring at him on camera.

  He looked extremely handsome in his classic black tux and white shirt, a purple handkerchief sticking out of his pocket. How had known the color of my dress?

  Laura. She had done it again.

  “Here.” He reached into his pant pocket and pulled out a small box with a white rose corsage which matched my beaded earrings and shoes.

  “Thanks.” I smiled, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks as Laura’s parents aimed the cameras in our direction while he placed the corsage on my hand.

  When they were done, they turned to catch K.J. put a blue and white corsage on Laura’s hand. And then to Marika and Ava as they exchanged matching white corsages.

  “Let’s go!” Laura sang after her parents took several pictures of all of us, individually and as a group. “We’re going to be late.”

  Laura suggested that Marika and Ava ride with K.J and her instead of taking three cars so that left me alone with Logan in his car.

  “Excited?” he asked as he drove behind K.J.’s car. “I can’t wait to dance with you and don’t you dare say that you don’t dance.”

  “I wa
sn’t going to.” I laughed. “We dance at these things. We dance a lot. Especially Marika, she goes all out.”

  “Yeah, she does love to dance, doesn’t she?” He chuckled and I couldn’t help but stare.

  He turned to give me a side-ways glance, catching me staring at him and I looked away quickly, my cheeks aflame.

  “You okay?” he asked, a smile playing on his lips. “You seem kind of dazed.”

  I couldn’t really tell him the reason I was dazed. I didn’t want to tell him about how I kept wishing I had parents like Laura’s or like his. I didn’t want to get emotional about how my parents hadn’t even called to find out how the game had gone or even asked to send pictures of me in my homecoming dress.

  I also didn’t want to tell him how conflicted I was about college. I wanted high school to get over quickly so I could go off to college and get away from Susan but I also wanted to stay. And I wanted to stay because of him. Laura, Marika and I had applied to universities in all the same cities in the hope that we’d all be close to each other. I hadn’t had that talk with Logan yet. And tonight wasn’t the night to do it.

  “We can talk about it later,” I brushed it off, not wanting to lie and say that nothing was wrong. “Let’s just have fun tonight.”

  When we got to the dance, we handed our tickets before entering, got our pictures taken and headed inside. Ava headed straight to the refreshments table, Marika trailing behind her and Laura disappeared with K.J. into the crowd. I headed in after them, not wanting to get separated when I felt Logan’s fingers lace through mine. His hand was warm against my cool skin and I felt tiny electric shocks zip through my fingers and into my arm.

  “It’s pretty crowded here.” He leaned in to talk in my ear, his breath on my neck.

  I didn’t bother trying to talk back because that would have involved either yelling over the loud music or turning around to talk and leaning into his ear. And I was pretty sure my cheeks were redder than the blush that had been applied on my face.

  I finally spotted Laura and K.J. in the crowd. They had found the rest of the people we usually sat with at recess. And when they noticed us, they waved us over.

  “Oh my God, you look so beautiful,” a junior girl – Daisy – gushed as soon as we joined in. “And you guys look so cute together.”

  As soon as she said it, I realized how it looked. Logan and I were still holding hands. It looked like we were together, like a couple, which we weren’t. And apparently he was thinking the same because we both let go of each other’s hands.

  “Is he being shy right now?” Laura whispered in my ear while still trying to show off her dance moves.

  I frowned and shrugged, not wanting to feel bad about it. I mean, I was going to let go of his hand anyway.

  All of us danced together until Marika and Ava finally found us and everyone started congratulating Ava for making the varsity team on her first try. I knew many girls who had failed multiple times but had still come back every chance they got to try again. Daisy being one of them who had failed twice but I knew that she had her eye set on my position. She was trying to suck up to us because she wanted the captain position to be handed to her once we graduated but I had the rest of the year to choose who I wanted to succeed me.

  We danced for what seemed like hours before a teacher appeared on stage.

  “I think they’re going to announce the homecoming king and queen,” Daisy gushed and I turned to look at Laura.

  “Who was in charge of that again?” I asked her since we had been on the decorating committee.

  The homecoming king and queen had to be graduating seniors – which meant us – and were elected by the student body. And it had probably been handled by a junior.

  “Gemma or something,” Laura answered quickly, her eyes on the stage. “And don’t even think your name isn’t in there somewhere because it’s impossible for it not to be.”

  It had been her dream for the longest time to be homecoming queen. And even though she barely ever talked about it, I knew how badly she wanted it.

  “Here is the moment everyone has been waiting for,” the teacher announced. “Who’s going to be the homecoming king and queen?”

  He looked at the crowd in front of him as two spotlights roamed over the students on the dance floor. I could feel the energy and excitement radiate off of everyone in the crowd, including Marika and Laura who stood on either sides of me. Ava stood next to Marika, holding her hand and I knew that Marika had one vote for sure.

  “I voted for you.” I felt Logan step closer to me from behind.

  I felt him slowly slip a hand around my waist and I caught my breath as electricity passed through his hand and into my body. He leaned in close enough for me to feel his breath on my ear and I shivered, making him step even closer as if to keep me warm.

  “The homecoming king is-” he trailed off for a drum roll while he opened a white envelope. “Dayle Forman!”

  I heard a huff of disapproval from beside me which was definitely Laura but she didn’t say anything. I turned my head slightly to look at her and noticed that she actually looked a bit sad as Dayle made his way up to the stage to take his crown.

  “Are you okay?” I whispered to her and she shrugged.

  “Every king needs a queen,” the teacher continued and I found myself rolling my eyes. “The homecoming queen is – Cheyenne Fator!”

  Chapter 14

  I felt my heart slam against my ribcage as everyone’s eyes landed on me, making it harder for me to breathe. I hadn’t expected to win homecoming queen because I hadn’t even thought about it. I had forgotten about it altogether. I mean, with all the crap I had to deal with, how did being homecoming queen even matter?

  “You did it!” Marika yelled in my ear. “Chey! Go get your crown.”

  But I stayed rooted to the ground. I didn’t want the crown. But Laura did. I turned to look at her, my eyes sad but the excitement in her eyes burned through me.

  “You did it, babe,” she told me, pulling me into a hug. “Congrats. Go get it.”

  I felt Logan pull away and I met his eyes. He was smiling and nodded toward the stage as if to tell me to go. He gave me a small nudge toward the stage and my feet finally moved.

  I made my way through the crowd of people congratulating me and then finally made it up to the stage in a complete daze. I felt someone hand me a bouquet of flowers and place a crown on my head and I wondered why all the girls wanted it. It was just a piece of plastic.

  “Please clap for your king and queen,” he announced and everyone clapped and whistled. “The king and queen shall now have their dance.”

  I glanced at Laura who looked sad again. It wasn’t because she wanted to be queen though. It was very much because of Dayle. She still liked him. Even though she wouldn’t admit it to anyone; even though she hadn’t brought it up many times since they ended things; even though she had come to the dance with K.J. – she still had feelings for Dayle.

  Dayle and I made our way to the center of the dance floor, everyone making way for us but then going back to their own dates as a slow song played on the speakers.

  “Well, if this isn’t awkward,” Dayle started, taking my hand in his. “I don’t know what is.”

  He placed a hand on my waist and I placed one on his shoulder, feeling my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Was this necessary? Couldn’t I just go back to my friends?

  “Well, our dates are going to find this more awkward,” I tried to joke but he didn’t smile.

  “I didn’t come with a date,” he said quickly. “But Logan can’t take his eyes off of you.”

  He spun me around so I could get a look at Logan who ran a hand through his hair, his eyes on me.

  “You didn’t come with a date?” I asked him, confused.

  It was impossible that Dayle hadn’t found a date to the dance. Even if he hadn’t tried to ask any girl out, there probably would have been a line of girls waiting to ask him.

  “Truth is.�
� He sighed, holding me close so no one else could hear us. “I wanted to ask Laura but she said yes to K.J. and I didn’t want to step into that. Bro code and all that.”

  “If you bring the bro code into this, K.J. shouldn’t have asked Laura out in the first place,” I pointed out. “Especially if you’re still into her.”

  “But she doesn’t want to be with me,” he said, the sadness visible in his eyes. “Does she?”

  “She doesn’t talk to us much about her problems,” I admitted. “She thinks that we have too much on our plates already so she keeps to herself.”

  “I know but I thought she’d have said something,” he murmured.

  “But I saw the way she looked at you when you were announced king,” I told him. “And I think she wanted to be the one to dance with you so forgive me for doing this but I need to help my best friend.”

  I stepped away from Dayle, grabbed his wrist and dragged him over to where Laura was dancing with K.J.

  If I knew my best friend at all, she wasn’t over Dayle. If she had told Marika about sleeping with him, she was serious about him. And it probably hadn’t just been about him getting physical with her more often. She had probably felt left out most of the time with his friends around and whether she admitted it or not, Laura was the type of girl who wanted her hand to be held. She was the type of girl who wanted to be with her boyfriend all the time, his arm around her while they were together.

  “Laura,” I called over the music and she pulled away from K.J., her eyes landing on me and then on Dayle. “I think this is yours.”

  I lifted the crown off of my head and placed it on hers. Then I took her hand from K.J.’s and placed it on Dayle’s hand. But she pulled her hand away.

  “Sorry, K.J.,” I told him. “You might not know the bro code but I have a girl code to stick to.”

  K.J. rolled his eyes at me but ignored him. Then he stepped away as if he had either expected something like this to happen or he just didn’t care enough about Laura to actually fight for her.

  “Chey, what are you doing?” Laura asked, trying to look angry but she just looked confused.

 

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