by Naomi Amanda
“Chey!” Cody’s voice echoed through the living room, making Susan’s eyes widen.
She quickly stepped away from me, turning around and I spotted Cody on the top of the stairs. He padded down the stairs as quickly as he could. I felt my hammering heart settle down in my chest. He had saved me without even knowing it. I would have found it strange that he was suddenly calling for me in front of his mother when he had been avoiding me whenever she was around earlier but he was just a kid. Kids were like that, right? Doing something one day and something else the next?
“Hey, kiddo.” I tried to sound light but even I could hear the shake in my voice.
“Come see what we made at school today!” He forced a smile, taking my hand and pulling me up the stairs.
“Take a shower before dinner, Chey,” Susan said and I nodded, already half way up the stairs.
Cody held onto my hand until we were out of Susan’s line of sight. Then he let go and looked up at me. I raised an eyebrow, wondering why we had stopped even though we hadn’t reached his room yet.
“Sorry, I lied,” he said quickly, his voice low and rough. “We didn’t make anything in school today.”
“What?” I asked, feeling my body freeze.
He was not acting like himself. Cody never lied. Did he know something about what Susan was doing to me? Did he step in on purpose?
But he was just a kid. He couldn’t have figured out what was going on. I mean, Susan had made sure he had never seen anything. That was when I remembered – the incident on the staircase when Susan told him I had fallen and she was trying to help me up. Had he noticed then? Another scene flashed in my head – in the kitchen when Susan had hissed something in my ear and I swore Cody had turned around and seen it.
Could it be? Could Cody have figured it out? Did he know what was going on?
“It’s homework,” he said suddenly, looking up at me with a smile. “I have to build something out of recycled matter but mommy’s right. You should shower first. You stink.”
He giggled and even though he had a smile plastered on his face, I couldn’t help but freak out. My head felt like it was filled with cotton and I couldn’t stop the dreading thought that somehow Cody had figured out what Susan was doing to me. Surely an eight year old knew what bullying was. Was this his way of telling me that he knew?
“I’m going over to Brandon’s house,” he said suddenly, cutting into my thoughts. “I’ll be back for dinner.”
I watched as he skipped down the stairs as if he hadn’t just scared me shitless. I took a shaky deep breath and made my way to my bedroom. I shut the door, dropped my phone onto my pillow and my bag on the chair and headed to my closet. I took out a pair of clean pajamas and underwear and stared at my clean cheerleading uniform that hung in front of me. I played the routine in my head and it kind of calmed me down before I went inside the bathroom to take a shower.
I stood underneath the hot water as it soaked my hair, wondering just how much Cody knew. I couldn’t comprehend how he had managed to find out when Susan went out of her way to hide it from him.
I shampooed my hair, tangling my fingers through my hair to undo the knots when I swear I heard something in my room. It sounded like the door opened but when I stopped moving to listen closer, I couldn’t hear a thing. So I quickly soaped my body and then washed my hair in a hurry. I quickly dressed up and rushed out of the bathroom, my towel tied like a turban on my head.
I looked around my room but the door was closed and everything seemed to be in place. I went over to my bed, sat down and reached for my phone. My fingers touched the soft fabric of my pillow and my eyes instantly went to my pillow. My phone wasn’t there.
I almost started to panic when I found it half-sliding off my pillow – nowhere near where I had left it.
I jumped to my feet and rushed outside but no one was there. But I was so sure that I had kept my phone smack dab in the middle of my pillow. How could it have been sliding off when I was in the shower unless someone had been in my room?
I knew better than to question anyone about my phone at dinner. I mean, I was probably tired and imagined things, right? Maybe I had just dropped my phone onto my pillow and it slipped off. It was possible. And assuming that I was too tired was better than asking Susan since she was the only one in the house when I had been in the shower. She would never admit to it. And from the way she glared at me throughout dinner, I knew I would only be asking for trouble if I questioned her.
So when it was time for bed, I called Laura for the pep-talk she needed and quite frankly, I needed it, too. Ava had gone to sleep so we only added Marika to the call who was all kinds of excited. Laura seemed to be, too, but she was nervous at the same time and I lectured her that she had practiced for weeks. Everything was going to go fine. We knew the cheer by heart – hell, we’d be able to cheer it in our sleep. The dance was perfect and the stunts were practiced more than anything else. By the time we disconnected the call to get some sleep, I had assured her that everything would be okay.
But not for me.
Chapter 26
“You think I don’t know the shit you do behind our backs?” her venomous voice filled my ear. “Don’t think I’m going to let you get away with it.”
I felt as if someone was holding me down by the waist. I didn’t feel the warmth that my body had created underneath my blanket anymore. My body shuddered as goosebumps spread over me and the cold air filled my lungs. Until I couldn’t breathe the air anymore.
I felt something press down on my throat, choking me and making my eyes flutter open as I struggled to breathe. My vision was blurred and I couldn’t make out anything in the darkness.
“You’re a sneaky one, aren’t you?”
“But as long as you’re under this roof, you play by my rules. You try to break it and I break you. Understand?”
I struggled underneath whatever was holding me down, grabbing at my neck to ease the hold that was on it. But it didn’t help. It only pressed onto my neck tighter. I tried my best to take a breath, expanding my lungs but it came out as a gasp until the darkness settled all around me. My eyes fluttered closed and this time, instead of trying to wake up from the nightmare, I let it drag me under.
I woke up the next day with a gasp. My body automatically jolted out of bed and I closed my eyes against the nausea. I hung my head low, trying to get rid of the dizziness before looking around. I was still in my room, in my bed and drenched in sweat despite the coldness in the room.
I touched my neck gingerly, swallowing against the dryness and rawness in my throat. It felt like I had been screaming in my sleep but I knew better than to think that. If I had screamed, someone would have woken me up for disrupting their sleep.
But I felt sick – dizzy and nauseous. I shook my head, telling myself that it was probably nervousness. Maybe it was the nightmare I had had and it was a big day for me. I always got nervous for competitions. It didn’t explain my burning throat and the throbbing in my knee. Maybe drinking water would ease the ache in my throat.
My alarm went off on my phone and I quickly shut it off. It was Saturday and I knew no one was awake yet. We had decided to meet on the field early to warm up and practice a few more times before the competition.
If my father and Susan had any idea about the competition, they had made no mention of it. I took that as a silent answer that they weren’t going to come watch me. It didn’t matter how important it was to me. Coming to a varsity competition for their daughter didn’t make it on their to-do list. It made me feel bad but I knew it was for the better. Plus, Logan was going to be there and he was all I needed.
I slid out of bed, stumbling as pain shot through my knee. I bent down, rubbing it in case it was just locked because of how cold it had gotten. As I walked to the bathroom, the pain eased a little so I didn’t dwell on it. I got into the shower to wash away the sweat before putting on my uniform.
I combed my hair into a high ponytail and lightly did my mak
e-up. I knew that we were going to sweat it away anyway. And I also knew that Laura was going to carry her entire make-up kit.
I packed my bag with a towel, a water bottle, a few energy bars and whatever else I thought I’d need through the day. Then I padded down the stairs as softly as I could and left the house.
I drove to Laura’s house in a daze, my head still hurting and my mind still not resting. I wasn’t even sure what I was feeling. I just couldn’t think straight. Images of Cody from the evening before flashed in my head, then images of Susan glaring at me at dinner time.
Then I felt a suffocating feeling fill my chest and I gasped for air, stepping onto the breaks so hard that I probably gave myself whiplash. I was on Laura’s street but a few houses away when I felt a full on panic attack shake my body. Dark images of someone straddling me in the dark, choking the air out of me filled my mind and I tried to push them away. They were flashbacks of the nightmare I had had last night.
Before I could comprehend what I was doing, I shoved the car door open and practically fell out of my car and onto the pavement. I tried to take in deep breaths of the cold air around me when I heard footsteps pounding toward me. Whoever it was suddenly fell onto their knees beside me, rubbing my back.
“Chey, what’s happening?” Laura asked, her voice strained with fear.
“Oh my God, Chica!” Marika was suddenly beside me as well.
“I think she’s having a panic attack!” Ava exclaimed, quickly rummaging through her bag. “Give her some water.”
She held out a bottle of water and Laura opened it. She tilted head back and started to pour the water down my throat. The water eased down my throat, cooling the rawness in my throat and I continued to gulp it down. When she handed the bottle back to Ava, I was able to breathe properly, my nerves settling.
“Are you okay?” Laura asked, panic in her voice. “If you’re not then we can go to the hos-”
I shook my head violently, cutting her off. I looked at her and then at Marika and Ava. The two of them knew nothing about how Susan had hurt me so badly just two weeks ago. They didn’t know about our little trip to New York or the fact that I had found my grandparents who told me that my mother was dead.
Laura had even lied to them about how my ankle had gotten hurt. There was too much to explain even if I wanted to and I didn’t. I didn’t want to tell them any more than they already knew. I didn’t want to have to explain everything to more people. I just didn’t have the energy.
“Let’s just get to school,” I choked out, standing up.
The burning sensation in my knee spiked up again and I ignored it. I didn’t want to scare her again. I had already given her a tiny heart attack by falling out of my car while gasping for air. And it was the day of the competition. I couldn’t show them any more of what my body was doing to me. She’d tell the coach to sit me out and that meant we’d have to throw the competition. Then Laura would lose her chance at even performing for the scholarship and I would hate myself forever.
So I got into the passengers’ side of my car after handing Laura the keys. She surely wasn’t about to let me drive. And we waited as Marika and Ava jogged over to Laura’s driveway to get into Marika’s car. Then Laura took a U-turn out of her street and onto the main road with their car right behind us.
“What the hell was that?” Laura asked as soon as we were on the main road. “Are you sick? Did something happen? Did Susan hurt you again?”
“What are you? The question police?” I tried to joke but my voice came out shaky.
She turned to give me a withering look and I shrugged.
“No, Susan didn’t hurt me again,” I answered, controlling my expression as the image of someone choking me in my nightmare flashed in my mind again.
“That sounded like a lie,” she retorted. “But if she didn’t then why the hell did you have a panic attack?”
“Maybe I’m just nervous about the competition,” I lied even though I knew why I was nervous.
I was nervous because I still couldn’t get out the nagging feeling in my chest that Cody knew something. If he had witnessed Susan hurting me then he was probably scared. It felt like the whole Logan situation again. He knew what was happening and he was terrified but he didn’t know who to tell because the only other adult he could talk to was my father and he already knew.
“You’ve never had a panic attack before any game or competition,” she pointed out. “Stop lying to me.”
“Fine.” I sighed. “I’ll tell you but can I tell you after the competition?”
She shot me a sharp look and I tried to remain impassive. I couldn’t back down. I didn’t want her to throw the competition on my behalf.
“I don’t want to keep thinking about it,” I continued. “I’ll tell you when we’re done then you can worry all you want. But right now, we have a competition to win and a scholarship to earn.”
Laura was quiet the rest of the way so I took it as her answer that she’d wait until we were done. And when we reached the school field, Logan was already there, waiting for us with bags filled with food. He claimed that we needed all the energy we could get. So after forcing me to eat a little while we waited for the other team members, we started our practice.
Since it was still early, the breeze was cool which was a godsend since it meant we didn’t sweat as much. After we were done practicing, we all sat around the field, chatting and eating the food that Logan had brought for us.
I felt him take my hand as we sat in a circle. Ava had already inhaled half of the food and Marika was trying to make her slow down so she wouldn’t choke. Laura was talking to her parents, telling them what time the competition started.
“You guys are going to win for sure,” Logan leaned in to whisper, his breath tickling my neck.
I felt a tingly sensation fill my body and heat rise to my cheeks. Ever since he had told me that he loved me, I felt extra sensitive to everything he did. Just looking at his hand in mine was making me feel giddy.
“We better,” I joked. “Or I’d be the worst cheerleading captain ever.”
“That’s not true.” He chuckled.
“You thought me auditioning to be a cheerleader was hilarious,” I pointed out, referring to the day he had joined school. “You didn’t believe it when you found out I was the captain.”
“I just never pegged you for a cheerleader,” he said defensively.
“What had you pegged me for then?” I shot back and he ducked his head, his ears turning pink.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I wasn’t even sure I’d see you again, let alone be your boyfriend now.”
“I’m glad you came back,” I told him, squeezing his hand.
“I’m glad you said yes,” he joked and I laughed, feeling way better than I had in the morning. “And I have to tell you something. I thought I’d wait until after the competition but I feel like it wouldn’t be as exciting in front of you guys winning that trophy.”
“What is it?” I asked and he grinned, moving away from me a bit as if he intended on telling all of our friends and not just me.
“I got into Harvard,” he announced and everyone stopped what they were doing to gape at him.
I felt happiness spread through my chest and I hugged him, pulling away quickly since no one had noticed. The rest of our friends hugged and congratulated him in turn and he continued to grin at me.
“The good news is that it’s only three and a half hours away from Columbia University.” He took my hand in his again, looking serious. “We can meet on the weekends-”
“Don’t tell me that’s why you’re so happy,” Laura butted in.
“Of course, it is,” he joked and then made a face at her. “It’s one of the reasons. Obviously I’m happy about making it into such an amazing university but then I can see you, too-”
As much as I felt like kissing him at that moment, I knew that I couldn’t. There were too many people present and if any of them breathed a word, I�
��d be screwed. I decided I’d leave the kissing for our celebration party that Laura’s parents had already secretly planned behind her back. It was more of a celebration for the scholarship they knew she would get and for my success of getting into the college of my dreams than for us if we won the competition. Either way, it was really sweet of them. And as much as I was looking forward to that, I was looking more forward to being able to be to celebrate our success with Logan.
Chapter 27
Even though Laura’s, Marika’s and Ava’s parents met us before they got seated for the competition, each giving their own pep-talks, the nervousness was visible on Laura’s face.
I had wanted to keep my eyes on Logan who had taken a front seat view, directly in my line of sight. It was kind of impossible to do that though because Laura sat beside me, her knee bouncing like crazy and her teeth gnawing on her nails.
Biting her nails had been a nervous habit she had gotten over way before joining high school. Once she had reached high school, she took such good care of them that they never even broken. So watching her chew on them as if her life depended on it was a reason for concern.
“Stop it.” I grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand down. “Don’t be gross. You got over this nail biting thing a long time ago.”
“I’m losing my shit, Chey,” she hissed, her knee bouncing even harder.
I placed another hand on her knee, stopping its movement and sighed.
I understood why she was so worried and nervous about our turn but from what I had seen, not all that many teams were on the same level as we were on.
I knew I was being overconfident but I believed in my girls. They had practiced for weeks and it was the hardest routine we had ever come up with. Plus, they had managed to stick their landings, synchronized their dance moves and chant as a team, not one girl’s voice out of place. I knew we had a fair chance at winning.