by Marie Force
“Wow,” Luke said. “That’d be amazing.”
“I’ll text Mac and ask him to send it to me,” Riley said.
Nikki fanned her face and then laughed. “Did I really just say I might be interested?”
“I think you did,” Sydney said, laughing with her.
“Be prepared,” Luke said. “Mac will probably pounce if you show an ounce of interest. We need someone in that job like last week to start the ball rolling on hiring for the summer, buying equipment and generally getting things organized.”
“The manager’s office was the first thing we finished,” Riley added as he typed on his phone. “Sent the text.”
“Gulp,” Nikki said.
“This is awesome!” Sydney clapped her hands. “This is a great place to live and work. I’ve met some of the best friends I’ve ever had here.”
“Same,” Luke said. “Island life is the bomb if you can handle the winters.”
“I love the winters,” Sydney said, blushing as she glanced at her husband.
“The summers are crazy with the marina and the construction business,” Luke said. “I only have one job in the winter.”
“Lily and I love having Daddy home more, don’t we, sweet girl?”
The baby gave her a gummy smile that did weird things to Nikki’s insides. What would it be like, she wondered, to have a life like Syd and Luke’s, to know they’d walked through fire to find each other a second time, to end up with the kind of happiness they clearly shared?
When Lily began to yawn, Nikki and Riley said their goodbyes and then walked out to the barn that Luke used as a workshop. He held the door for her, and she walked into the smell of varnish and paint thinner and turpentine. On a trailer in the center of the vast space was the nearly completed restoration of a gleaming wooden boat.
“Oh my goodness,” Nikki said, flabbergasted.
“I know, right? He does incredible work. He usually keeps before pictures on the bench,” Riley said, going to look. “Here they are.”
Nikki went to join him. “That is the same boat?” she asked of the wreck in the pictures.
“No way.”
They flipped through a photo album of before-and-after pictures.
“That’s the one he recently did for my uncle,” Riley said. “My aunt Linda gave it to him for their fortieth anniversary.”
“It’s beautiful. He’s got a real gift.”
“Yes, he does. He’s in hot demand.”
“Why doesn’t he do it full-time?”
“I asked him that once, and he said that before Mac started the construction business, he used to spend all winter working alone on boats, and that turned him into a bit of a weirdo loner. He prefers working with us to being alone all the time, so the boat business is more of a hobby these days.”
“Is this whole island full of talented people, or does it just seem that way to someone who feels like she has no real talents?”
“You have talents.”
“Like what?”
“You must’ve been super organized to run Jordan’s career for her.”
“I was.”
“That’s a true talent and not something you should dismiss as no big deal.”
“I think I’m a pretty good cook, too.”
“That pumpkin bread was really good, as was the pasta sauce.”
Smiling, she said, “I’m glad you liked it. I also take really cool photos.”
“I’d love to see them sometime.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re a really good kisser, too.”
“Does that count as an actual talent?”
“Oh yeah. For sure.”
She looked up at him. “I’m really glad you came back today. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you hadn’t.”
“Not coming back never occurred to me.”
She reached up to bring him down for a kiss. “Means a lot.”
Riley put his arms around her and hugged her.
That’s where Luke found them when he returned to the barn. “Sorry to interrupt,” he said. “I would’ve knocked, but it’s my barn.”
Riley laughed and released her.
Nikki felt her face get hot with embarrassment. “Your work is amazing.”
“Thanks. It’s fun.”
“We’re going to head out,” Riley said. “I’m sure I’ll talk to you later on.”
“Snow’s coming around six, or so they say. We’ll see. Get a nap this afternoon. Could be a long night.”
“Will do.”
“Nice to meet you, Luke.”
“You, too, Nikki.”
Riley put his arm around her as they walked to his truck, and Nikki felt a profound sense of relief to realize that nothing had changed between them after her panic attack. He was sticking with her, and for that, she was thankful. She liked him more than she’d ever liked any guy, and over lunch, she would tell him the truth.
If only the thought of revisiting the darkest days of her life didn’t make her feel so sick.
* * *
Riley took her to The Oar, which was open for lunch and dinner on the weekends during the winter. He and Finn tended to stick closer to town when they went out, so Riley hadn’t been there in a while.
“I love this place,” Nikki said, gazing at the thousands of painted oars that graced every available surface inside the restaurant. Tucked into a cozy corner, they had the restaurant more or less to themselves when it would be packed to the gills on a summer day.
“My name is on a couple of them,” he said of the oars. “We used to do one every summer when I worked at my uncle’s marina.”
“Jordan and I used to talk about doing one for Eastward Look, but we never got around to it.”
“Have you heard anything from her?”
Nikki shook her head. “I texted her last night just to say hi, but she hasn’t replied.”
“I suppose no news is good news, right?”
“I’d like to think so, but who knows with them.”
When the waitress came to take their order, they both requested lobster rolls with fries along with draught beer. Riley requested his lobster roll without mayo.
“Is it a lobster roll without mayo?”
“Mayo is the biggest gagger of all the gaggers.”
“What the hell is a gagger?”
“The gross stuff that people have to put on food to make it edible.”
“Do you mean condiments?”
“Everything except ketchup, which doesn’t count as a gagger.”
“Good to know,” she said, clearly amused by his food rules.
“Having lobster will be like summer in January,” Riley said.
“I love summer in January. Thank you again for taking me to meet Sydney and Luke. They’re really great people.”
“They are. He’s a great guy to work with and for. I really like him.”
“I can see why. I can’t stop thinking about what you told me about her and what happened to her family. I really admire the way she’s put her life back together.”
“According to what I’ve heard from Mac and others, it didn’t happen overnight. Took a long time.”
“I can only imagine.” Nikki took a sip from her beer. “I admire her because, as you might’ve already figured out, I’m still trying to put my own pieces back together.”
He laid his hand over hers on the table. “Anything you want to tell me, I want to hear. I want to know you, Nikki. Really know you.”
Curling her fingers around his, she said, “You’re very sweet, and that helps.” She licked lips that’d gone dry the way they always did when her anxiety kicked in. “I went to college in Chicago and met Griffin at freshman orientation. We were in the same group and hit it off the first day. I had no idea who he was until after school started and someone told me he was a big star on the basketball team. He never told me that. I took that as a good sign that he wasn’t caught up in his own hype, you know?”
“I can see that, for sure.”
“Anyway, we hung out here and there, and I remember my roommate asking me if I was his girlfriend or his buddy. I honestly didn’t know, and I wasn’t in any great rush to make it into something. I was busy adapting to school and being away from my sister for the first time in my life.”
“Where did she go to school?”
“She didn’t. She decided to pursue the modeling career, so she stayed in California.” She took a deep breath, forcing herself to continue to tell a story that filled her with dread and despair and every other emotion. “Junior year, we started actually dating and Griffin asked me to go to a party with him at his fraternity. My friends in the dorm were jealous because everyone wanted to go to that party, and it was invite only. I felt special, which is ironic in hindsight. Right away, I realized I was in way over my head at that party. People were drinking anything and everything, and I’d never been much of a drinker. I had a vodka tonic to go along with the group, but I didn’t really like how it tasted, so I didn’t drink much of it. The party got really wild, and I decided to leave. I had no idea where Griffin was, so I got the hell out of there and walked back to my dorm. I remember how cold it was and how stupid I felt for having gone there in the first place.”
Their food was served, and while Nikki wasn’t sure she could eat, she took a few tentative bites. “My roommate had gone home for the weekend, so I was asleep when someone pounded on my door at four in the morning. It never occurred to me that it would be him. I figured it was someone from the dorm who’d gotten locked out of their room or something. I still think about what would’ve been different if I hadn’t opened that door.”
Riley signaled for the waitress. “Would you mind boxing this up to go for us?”
“Of course. Is everything all right?”
“Yes, thanks. We’ll take our check, too.”
“Coming right up.”
“We don’t have to go,” Nikki said softly.
“I don’t want you to have to do this in public. I’m sorry I didn’t think of that before.”
“Don’t apologize. I didn’t think of it either.”
He signed for the check, pocketed his credit card and helped her into her coat.
“I was supposed to treat you.”
“Next time.”
He helped her into the passenger side of his truck, and before he could close the door, she stopped him with a hand to his face. “Thank you for knowing what I needed before I did.”
“You don’t have to thank me. I needed to get out of there, too.” He handed her the to-go bag, gave her a quick kiss, closed the door and went around to the driver’s side. As he drove them back to Eastward Look, he held her hand, tighter than usual, as tension came off him in waves that had her worrying that maybe she shouldn’t tell him the rest.
When they were back at the house, he put their lunch in the fridge and guided her into the living room with a hand on her lower back.
The protective, proprietary way he touched her gave her the courage to tell him the rest of the story when they were seated together on the sofa.
Chapter 15
“You can probably figure out for yourself that he forced his way into my room and, in a drunken frenzy, basically attacked me. My funny, charming boyfriend turned into someone I didn’t recognize, and I was so shocked and scared. I had no idea how to fend him off.” She wiped away tears that infuriated her. “The next couple of hours were a blur. I don’t remember much about it until my roommate came back later that morning to find me huddled on her bed and him passed out in mine.
“At first, she thought congratulations were in order, until she realized my face was bruised and swollen and put the pieces together. Her dad is a big lawyer in Chicago. She called him and asked what to do. He advised against contacting campus police. He said they’d be likely to bury it because Griffin was a basketball star. Her father called the Chicago police. They showed up with paramedics for me and arrested him. I didn’t understand the implications then, but I certainly know now what happens when law enforcement is brought in and how the ball starts to roll before you’re even aware of what’s happening.”
Riley wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him, rubbing her back and offering comfort and support that meant the world to her.
“My friend’s father was a tiger on my behalf. He went to bat with the cops. With him on the job and the evidence of a violent assault backing up his claims, they charged Griffin with first-degree sexual assault, felony battery, breaking and entering. The press coverage was relentless. I couldn’t go back to school. People were angry with me because he was in so much trouble.”
“That’s unreal.”
“I would’ve thought so, too, if I hadn’t experienced it. It was a nightmare. His parents hired an attorney who tried to make me sound like a total slut who’d been out to land the big man on campus. My friends spoke out to say that wasn’t true, but they were no match for a big-name attorney who had the press hanging on every filthy lie he told about me. My grandmother came and got me and brought me here. I recovered physically, but emotionally, I was a disaster. I just kept thinking that the only mistake I’d made was opening the door to him.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Nikki,” he said fiercely. “None of this was your fault.”
“I knew that intellectually, but I still questioned everything I’d said and done since I met him. Had I given him some sort of indication that he could do that to me and get away with it? Had I led him on? We’d been friends for two years before we started dating, and I’d never seen any sign of this in him. How could I have missed it?”
He covered her lips with his finger. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Nikki closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against his, breathing in the rich, appealing scent of cologne and soap that would forever remind her of Riley. “My Gram and I hunkered down here, and after a couple of months in my favorite place, I began to feel more like myself again. I started to think about going back to school—somewhere else—and starting over. The trial was more than a year away, and I knew I’d have to testify, but I tried not to think about that too much. My grandmother had gotten me a therapist, and we met twice a week by Skype, and I’d been making real progress when…”
“What, honey?” Riley sounded as tense as she felt.
“Griffin… He… He took his own life.”
“Oh my God. Oh no.”
“If I thought what’d happened before that was a nightmare…”
“I can’t even imagine.”
“People blamed me.”
“How could they blame you?”
“I don’t know, but they did. Just when I was starting to get back on my feet, this happened, and I was right back to day one. I grieved for him, even after what he did.”
“You grieved for the version of him that’d been your friend.”
“Yes, exactly.” His understanding made this so much more tolerable than it might’ve been otherwise. “It didn’t make any sense to me in light of everything that’d happened, but my therapist helped me to see that grief is messy and often doesn't make sense. I grieved for the young man who’d made a terrible mistake and ruined his life in the process.”
“You grieved because you’re a kind and loving person who understands that no one is all bad or all good. My dad always says that.”
“Your dad is very wise.”
“I’m so sorry you had to go through such an awful thing, Nik.”
“Last night… When we were kissing…”
“You don’t have to say any more. I get it.”
“It had nothing to do with you.” She drew back so she could see his face. “It’s really important to me that you know that.”
“I understand.”
She swallowed hard and glanced up at him. “For the first time since everything happened, you make me want to take a real chance on things I thought I’d never want again.”
“For the first time ever, you make me want to take
a real chance on something I’ve never wanted before.” He kissed her gently and then leaned his forehead against hers, the moment charged with possibility and promise.
Nikki waited expectantly, hoping he might kiss her again.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. How about we eat those lobster rolls and then spend the afternoon packing up your kitchen?”
“Sure,” she said, swallowing her disappointment. “That sounds good.”
* * *
They worked for hours in the kitchen, filling plastic bins she brought up from the basement with items she’d decided to keep and making piles of things she would donate to the thrift shop in town. As they worked, they hashed out a variety of different layouts and scenarios for a reconfigured kitchen, which Riley drew up on a pad of lined notebook paper.
“It’s not to scale or anything,” he said, showing her his drawing. “But does that about capture it?” The drawing detailed her wish to remove the walls that separated the living and dining rooms from the kitchen, opening up the downstairs area into one big room.
“I love that! You never told me you were an artist.”
“I’m hardly an artist. Lots of drafting courses in college made me a fairly competent sketcher.”
“I think it’s really impressive.”
God, he wanted to kiss her and hold her and make love to her and… Whoa, rein it in, man. Hearing what she’d been through with Griffin had touched him deeply and made him aware of how careful he needed to be with her going forward. He’d never been in a situation remotely like this and honestly had no idea how to navigate his way through it.
His mind had been spinning ever since she told him the full story earlier, thinking about what had happened and how it must’ve affected her. One step at a time, he told himself. The saying slow and steady wins the race also came to mind. He focused on enjoying her company while keeping his hands to himself.
Riley took a call from Mac at four. “Hey, what’s up?”