by T. S. Joyce
Tenlee shrugged. “I only have three shirts, and the other two are dirty.” She remembered something, though, and lit up. “I have two stashes of clothes in town! They are a little big on me, but they are much softer. I stole them off clotheslines and hid them so when I went to town to make wishes happen, I wouldn’t have to grant those wishes naked. I learned the hard way humans do not take you seriously when you are naked. They do things like call the police.”
Karis giggled. “That they do. How about we get you clothes that fit and are soft?”
“You mean go shopping?” Tenlee asked.
“Yep! We’ve got you,” Karis said with a nod. “Kurt did a good job of shopping for you, but today I think you should shop for yourself.”
“Oh, but I don’t have any money.”
“Don’t worry,” Ava said. “Karis and I have our cut from the last trail ride, and we feel like having fun. Don’t worry about money for today at least.”
“Okay,” Tenlee said a little breathlessly. She caught her reflection in the window. She wore an excited smile and not the forced one. She hadn’t used the fake one in days. And she didn’t mind her reflection right now. That realization drew her up. She looked…happy. And happy equaled pretty. Her cheeks were even pink.
But as she focused on the scenery passing by the car window, she saw something she didn’t like. A large, pure black crow sat in the branches of an evergreen. It wasn’t Ramsey, but it was almost just as bad. It was his second in command, Ethan. It was just a flash of him, and then the truck passed, but she would know him anywhere. He had a scar on his neck where his feathers didn’t grow in anymore.
Ava leaned forward and turned up the volume on the radio. A fast song came on, and both Ava and Karis yelled, “Ooooooh,” in unison and then began singing every lyric.
At least their antics pulled Tenlee’s attention from the woods outside. Oh, she wouldn’t forget that Ethan was watching her, but today was supposed to be special and fun, and she wouldn’t let some old nosey crow ruin that.
In town, Karis parked right in front of Rita’s Flapjacks, and they got a table for three. It was a hole-in-the-wall restaurant, but that was just fine with Tenlee. Less people to stare at her. She always felt watched and paranoid in town. But Karis and Ava seemed calm and comfortable, and after they ordered enough breakfast to feed a small army of hungry lumberjacks, Tenlee began to settle down, too. They put the plates in the middle of the table and ate whatever they wanted like a buffet. Tenlee really liked that because she got to try so many different things. Plus, there was something really neat about sharing with these women. They weren’t greedy like she’d imagined people to be. They were nice and included her.
“Do you miss any of the crows?” Ava asked her when they were finished eating.
“I miss one. Momma Crow. When I first started Changing into this form, I was grown, and I didn’t have any skills. No manners, no language. No clue about clothes, or silverware, or what I was supposed to do. I couldn’t read or even understand people. I was completely wild, scared, and I stayed in the woods. Ramsey found me. This crow with a white diamond on his chest began watching me. For weeks, he would be there, in the branches near me, watching every Change, every failure, every confused moment I had. One day, he just picked me up out of a tree, and took my little squirrel self to Momma Crow. She was nice and took me in. It took me three years to learn everything, and then I just kind of stopped learning. I didn’t want to anymore. I wasn’t interested. Ramsey kept saying I was his mate, but I didn’t like my life. I wanted to go back to being just a squirrel. I told him that over and over and over, and he wouldn’t listen. He was angry that I wasn’t trying harder, that I didn’t want to sleep with him, that I didn’t bond to him. He said it was my fault for not allowing the bond, but I was so sad with my life, I just…didn’t even want to exist anymore. He hated my squirrel form. Hated her. He saw my animal as me running away from the life he was trying to force me into. So any time I was the one form that made sense, the squirrel, he and the Clan shamed me. I didn’t know who I was, and while I was supposed to be figuring it out for myself, the crows were telling me who I was supposed to be. And I wasn’t her. Every day, I let everyone down, just by being myself. Every day, I was a disappointment. And at some point, I had to make changes in my life or not exist at all.”
“So you ran away?” Karis asked softly.
Tenlee nodded. “Yeah. I ran to the only Clan I thought the crows would stay away from. The bears. The Peacemaker and Hairpin Trigger are feared. The crows used to talk about them like they were gods. Like no one could touch them. So I went to live in the Two Claws woods and only Changed back to my ugly human form when I had to. And later when I decided Colt was my friend to protect, I would Change to help his wishes come true. Sometimes I still think of Momma Crow. She was good to me. I wouldn’t even know how to talk if it wasn’t for her.”
Karis was staring at her neck, and when Tenlee looked at Ava, she was looking at the same. “Is that a bite?” Karis asked.
In a rush, Tenlee covered the bite mark Kurt had given her this morning with her hand. Was this something to be quiet about? Or ashamed of? Tenlee frowned. No. She liked this mark. Lowering her hand, she lifted her chin high and said, “I like Kurt and he likes me. I’m his and he’s mine. I just didn’t bite him like he did me.”
“Uh, yeah, you did,” Ava said, her dark eyebrows arched high. “Like nineteen times.”
“Yep, you bit everyone on the ranch,” Karis said with a chuckle as she licked syrup off her fingertips.
Tenlee didn’t mean to, but she let off a little giggle, because the little demon squirrel inside of her found that pretty freakin’ hilarious. She liked biting.
Ava laughed a little louder than her, and then Karis joined in, which only made Tenlee giggle harder. “Whoops. Okay, so I claimed him first.”
“Nah, you claimed the whole damn Clan!” Ava joked.
Huh. Tenlee didn’t hate that thought. “Well, since I’m the Origin of this shifter species, I think I should get to choose the traditions for squirrel shifters. And we bite to claim. Not just mates either. We bite whoever we want our people to be. The end, law passed.”
Ava was cracking up now. “I like that law. You should also make the females the only ones who can be Alphas in squirrel clans, and the males have to just, like, feed you grapes and barbecue and give you dick whenever you want it.”
Tenlee smacked her hand on the table. “And so it shall be.”
Ava’s eyes went serious, and softly she said, “And no one can choose a squirrel’s life for her.”
Oh, Tenlee knew what she meant. She was talking about the crows. Swallowing hard, she rested the flat of her palm on the table and murmured, “And so it shall be.”
She wished.
Chapter Eighteen
“What’s a nail bar?” Tenlee asked, confused by the sign in front of them. Right under it was a Grand Opening banner with little strands of yellow, red, and blue flags decorating the small Darby shop.
“I’ve never been, but online it says you can get a manicure, pedicure, and massages here…all while drinking cocktails.”
“Aw, maaan,” Karis murmured.
Ava laughed and held open the door for them. “After the cub is born, we’ll come back, and you can get buck wild in here. Until then, Tenlee and I will down your drinks for you because that’s what friends are for.”
Tenlee grinned. She liked the sound of that. “Friends,” she murmured.
“Yeah, I didn’t really have those until I came back here,” Ava said as Karis ordered them manicures and pedicures at the front desk. “I was a bit of a loner. I like life here better.” Ava’s smile was genuine and her voice soft, and Tenlee knew exactly what she meant.
It smelled like chemicals in here, and the brightly-colored rows of nail polish along the walls were a bit overwhelming, but the second she sat in a chair in between Ava and Karis and dipped her feet in a miniature jet-tub of hot water, she re
laxed. And when a server brought her something called a mimosa, she chilled out even more. Champagne and orange juice—she felt fancy as fuck right now. Even put a pinky up like a proper lady when she sipped her drink.
And her skin wasn’t even crawling, but maybe that was thanks to the shopping spree she and the girls had just finished. She had worn a pair of ripped-up skinny jeans and a black V-neck cotton shirt right out of the store. It was the softest thing she’d ever owned, and it also looked really cute and was on sale so she didn’t feel so bad about shopping with Ava and Karis’s money. Plus, they had seemed so genuinely happy to help her try stuff on and figure out her style, she’d just got lost in the fun. This was the best day she could even remember.
“Kurt is going to pick you up in a few hours for a date night,” Karis said, sipping her glass of straight orange juice.
“Okay, good,” she said breathlessly, “because I miss him very much.” She couldn’t stop staring at the bright, glossy red the nail technician was painting on her toes. There was another painting her fingernails the same color. This was awesome! She hoped when she Changed, the nail polish stayed. Her squirrel would look good with red nails, but she didn’t really understand how the science of that worked. Like Karis couldn’t even Change into her big badass polar bear until she had her cub so she didn’t hurt the baby. So maybe the nail polish would chip off when she Changed? That kind of bummed her out, but she would just have to try to stay in this skin until after date-night so Kurt could totally fall in love with her even more.
“I want to get my hair fixed,” she said suddenly.
“What?” Karis asked, all stretched out in her chair as her nail lady painted her toes bright purple.
“I saw a hair place. It said haircuts for twelve dollars and ninety-nine cents, and I want to get my hair fixed for tonight.”
“Okay!” Ava said, handing her empty mimosa glass to the server. “Not that you need your hair done. You have that perfect hair that looks just wild enough and tame enough all at once. You literally have the best curls.”
“Yeah,” Karis agreed. “They’re like beach waves.”
“Well, usually these beach waves have leaves and twigs in them, and it takes a long time to brush it out after a Change, so maybe a haircut will help a little. And help me like this body a bit more.”
“You don’t like your body?” Ava asked.
“Y’all,” Karis warned, casting a glance at the very human nail technicians.
Oh. Right. She shouldn’t talk about shifter stuff here.
“I used to hate it,” Tenlee said carefully. “But now Kurt makes me feel comfortable being…me.”
Ava and Karis’s smiles turned mushy before Karis said, “I didn’t like the way my body was before I met Colt. I didn’t like how curvy I am, and it was hard to look in the mirror and feel pretty, but Colt changed that. Now I feel like a goddess because of the way he looks at me. There is no way for a woman to feel anything less than beautiful when her man so obviously adores the way she looks.”
“Yeah,” Tenlee murmured. Karis totally got it. “That.”
****
Tenlee had never understood the I feel like a million bucks saying…until now. The song “I’m Walking on Sunshine” was playing at full volume in her head as she made her way toward the sandwich shop with the girls. Her hair was still long, but had layers in it now, which the stylist explained would free up her curls more. It was all brushed, shiny, and smelled like muffins and blackberry cobbler and sugar-dipped mangos and unicorn toots. Her nails were fire-engine red and shone in the sun, and she was wearing new clothes and new lingerie that fit her just right. She was feeling pa-retty good about her chances of getting laid again tonight.
There were definite advantages to being in human form. Tears sucked, but laughter was awesome. And pampering herself was fun, and sex was double-fun, and hugs, and mimosas. And also pancakes, ice cream, and sometimes when they made a funny joke, Karis and Ava bumped her shoulder with theirs, and she felt like a part of something. Not just this lone squirrel out in the woods shunned by the other animals. Not just Tenlee the Origin.
Caw.
The hairs lifted on the back of her neck, and she halted. Her shopping bags bumped her legs with the movement. Karis and Ava were in deep discussion on where they were going to find the money for a new bull for the herd and kept walking up the cracked sidewalk. Today was sunny and beautiful, and there was the constant hum of motorcycles finally out of garages after a long winter. But it was that one small sound, that caw, that took the beauty away from the day in an instant.
Caw.
Not today. She didn’t want to deal with the crows today.
She could feel him behind her, and she looked longingly after Karis and Ava, still chattering on happily, unaware there was a cage waiting to swallow Tenlee up, right behind her.
“Momma Crow wants a word,” Ethan said in a gravelly voice that sent chills up her spine.
“I don’t want to talk,” she said without turning around. She was still too chicken.
“I haven’t told Ramsey you’re in town. It’s just me and Momma Crow. Tenlee, please. You don’t understand what you’ve done, and she’s come all the way here just to talk. You owe her. You know you do.”
He was right.
“Swear he isn’t here?”
“Ramsey is out on a job. Not even in the area. Momma Crow has been waiting for you to come to town so she could sit down with you. She’s asking, not demanding.” Ethan swallowed hard. “I’m asking.”
“Ten?” Ava asked. She had her hand on the door to the sandwich shop. Her eyes were a silver white. “Smells like crow.” Her voice was full of grit now and Karis was already headed this way, the promise of death in her eyes.
“It’s okay,” Tenlee said. “It’s Momma Crow. She wants a word. She’s safe.”
“And him?” Ava snarled, jamming a finger over Tenlee’s shoulder. “He don’t feel safe.”
“Because I’m not,” Ethan responded coolly. “Are these your new keepers, Origin?”
Tenlee dropped the bags and rounded on him. “I don’t have keepers. I never fucking did, but you crows were real confused about that. I’ll talk to Momma Crow because I want to. Because she’s earned my respect. Don’t insult me or my friends and don’t call me the fucking Origin. I’m not under your thumb, so you’ll talk to me as an equal.”
“Queen,” Ava corrected.
“Queen? Queen. I mean queen. You’ll talk to me like a queen.” Holy shit, she’d never talked to Ethan like this, but she was good and on-a-roll, so she made her way past him toward the black Suburban parked a few stores down, slamming against his shoulder as she did. He was a brick wall, but she had adrenaline pumping through her, and it didn’t even hurt. This body was fucking awesome. And it even had middle fingers.
“I’ll be right back,” she promised over her shoulder to Karis and Ava.
“We’ll be here, ready to eat some crow,” Ava snarled out.
Oh, Tenlee had no doubt Ava would follow through. That girl was flashing her shifter eyes right here in the middle of Main Street. Tenlee could smell her fur, fury, and dominance all the way to the Suburban. Ethan was a badass, but his crow couldn’t compete with the rage of a newly Turned she-bear. And especially not one who had decided Tenlee fell under her protection.
She cast one look behind her as she opened the back door to the rig, just to reassure herself she wasn’t really alone. Karis was talking low into her phone, and Ava was smiling at Ethan with her teeth bared. Her canines looked way sharp. God, she was going to get shifters busted, but right now Tenlee couldn’t find it in herself to care. Fuck yes, she had people at her back. Badass females.
It made her feel brave enough to climb into the back of Ethan’s ride and face the woman she’d also left when she ran from the crows.
But it wasn’t just Momma Crow in the back. In the seats sat Rike, Treyton, and Bentley. Fuck.
“It’s fine,” Momma Crow said from th
e other side of the bench seat. She was curvy with her black hair all done up like a pinup girl’s. Her lips were painted bright red, and she wore cat-eye sunglasses. She wore a leather vest with the Red Dead Mayhem patch on the left pocket space, and one of her arms had a full sleeve of tattoos. She wore black, shredded jeans, and high-heeled boots with sparkly rhinestones on them. Crows liked shiny things. “The boys don’t let me go into town alone anymore. Ramsey ordered bodyguards for me until the war with Two Claws is done.”
“Until the war is done,” she said quietly, closing the door beside her carefully.
“You don’t have much time.”
“Rhoda,” Rike warned.
“Bodyguards,” she blasted, rounding on him, “not advisors, and if you lift your voice to tell me what I can and can’t say to my squirrel again, I’ll cut your dick off.”
Rike’s eyes blazed black like tar. “Ethan!”
“Don’t look at me,” Ethan muttered from the front seat. “I don’t control her. Guard your dick and shut the fuck up so we can get this over with.” His eyes were black, too, in the rearview mirror. And when she turned around to look at the three muscle-bound, behemoth crows in the third row, their eyes were all the same. Like glossy tar.
She hated it in here. Too much dominance in one small space, and when she looked out the back window, there were three motorcycles parking behind them. All crows. What the fuck?
“Talk or I’m getting out. I don’t like this.”
“Don’t like feeling alone in the world?” Bentley asked. “You shouldn’t have run away from your Clan then.”
“I didn’t run away from my Clan. You weren’t ever mine! And I wasn’t yours. I was a prisoner.”
“Oh, bullshit,” Rike said. “Ramsey was good to you.”
“Ramsey made me his mate without my permission.”
“So?” Rike asked, gripping the back of the seat. “You could do way worse than having the Alpha of the biggest fucking crow clan as your protector.”