Lauren was the one person who’d been there for him more than anyone else since Claire died. She’d loved Claire too, and in the early days she had patiently listened to him talking endlessly about her. She had been great with Sam too, treating him like one of her own children. How could he have been so blind? All this time he’d had lots of short and unfulfilling flings, and there had been the possibility of happiness there, right under his nose. He wondered if it was too late to persuade Lauren that what she needed right now in her life was him.
‘What do you think I should do, Sammy boy?’ he said to his sleeping son, as he squeezed the buggy past the street lights outside Lauren’s house. The lights in Lauren’s house were still on; Troy was still at the party. Sam dozed contentedly in the buggy.
‘You’re right, I should tell her,’ said Joel. ‘Faint heart, never won fair lady.’ Taking a deep breath, he rang the doorbell.
Lauren came to the door.
‘Oh. It’s you.’
This wasn’t exactly the answer he was hoping for.
‘May I come in?’ said Joel. ‘I won’t be long. I’ve got to get Sam off to bed.’
‘All right,’ said Lauren.
‘I’m sorry about earlier,’ he said. ‘You’re right. What you and Troy get up to is none of my business.’
‘Too right it’s not,’ said Lauren.
‘It’s just – well – you were also right about something else.’
‘Oh?’
‘Yes.’ Joel felt his palms sweating. Lauren’s body language was hostile to say the least. She didn’t exactly seem enthusiastic about him being there, but he ploughed on.
‘I am jealous. I’ve been a bloody idiot and never seen it before. But, Lauren, you’re lovely. You’ve been wonderful to me and Sam. And I think I’m in love with you.’
To his dismay, Lauren burst out laughing.
‘Now I’ve heard it all,’ she said. ‘You mean, you’re in love with the idea of me being a mum to Sam and looking after you. Go home, Joel. You’ve had too much to drink. I’ll see you on Monday and we’ll forget this conversation ever took place.’
‘Relight my fire!’ Kezzie was warbling with Flick. She was having a great time. She’d forgotten how much fun she’d had with her mates, and how much she missed them. She’d discussed the Richard situation with Flick endlessly, and they’d agreed there was probably no way back now; the thought made her feel bleak and lonely.
‘May I steal my lovely girlfriend?’ Gavin appeared by her side and whisked Flick away to dance.
Kezzie sighed. Much as she loved Gavin and Flick it was tough being around such happy couples when your own love life was so disastrous, no matter how much you loved them. She’d even seen Eileen and Tony, who were rather coy about their friendship, disappear off together.
Feeling sorry for herself, and hit by a sudden low, she wandered out to the garden to roll herself a joint. She’d promised Lauren she wouldn’t smoke around the kids, but they’d gone home some time ago. One couldn’t hurt, and it would soothe her fractious nerves. Kezzie sat down on the bench and rolled herself a spliff. She took a deep puff and sat back with her eyes shut, before exhaling slowly. Oh the glory of that first puff. Immediately she felt her worries recede and a calmness coming over her.
‘Mind if I join you?’ Troy appeared silently by her side.
Oh God, that was all she needed. What was he doing here?
‘I didn’t want to smoke inside,’ he said by way of explanation, taking out a light.
He glanced sneakily across at her. ‘Is that what I think it is?’
‘Might be,’ she said, touching her nose.
He gave her a long, sensuous look, which to her surprise made her shiver inside. He really did scrub up quite well. The thought made her giggle.
‘Care to share the joke?’
‘That’s for me to know and you to find out,’ Kezzie winked at him and took another puff. Suddenly the world seemed a happier place. She was at one with everything and feeling more relaxed than she had done all evening. She didn’t even mind that Troy was here. She’d thought him good looking when she first met him, but hadn’t realized quite how attractive he was.
‘It’ll cost you,’ she said with a grin.
‘Cost me what?’ he said softly, moving in slightly closer to her.
‘That depends …’ Kezzie was feeling reckless, she had a sudden impulsive feeling that anything was possible right now.
‘Are you flirting with me?’ Troy asked mock accusingly, leaning towards her in a highly suggestive way.
‘Might be,’ said Kezzie, leaning towards him in response. She felt a small tingle of excitement. He really was very sexy. She pushed the thought away, guiltily, remembering his past history with Lauren. Lauren was her mate, she really shouldn’t go there. ‘This is good stuff. Care to share?’
They shared the rest of the joint and Kezzie felt the world and her troubles disappear to a faraway shore.
She and Troy talked and talked. A rambling disconnected kind of conversation that seemed somehow effortlessly sublime and meaningful, as if they’d plumbed the depths of the universe. She was dimly aware that she felt quite pleasantly sleepy and Troy’s shoulder was very comfy. She came to with someone – Troy? – shaking her hard and saying, ‘You really need to go to bed.’
‘Bed. What a good idea.’ Kezzie suddenly woke up a little and giggled.
Lips on hers. A stubbly chin. A not unpleasant sensation. Hang on, what was going on? Oh. That was going on.
‘Troy, what are you doing?’ she said, but her words sounded far away, and she felt she was stuck in a tunnel, watching from a long distance as Troy took another Kezzie upstairs and laid her gently on the bed. The other Kezzie seemed out for the count. Sleep. An even better idea. Her vision slewed down to a single dot. ‘Night, night,’ she mumbled, and then everything went black.
Chapter Twenty-Two
‘Ouch, my head hurts.’ Kezzie woke to find sun pouring through her bedroom window, and the realization that she was lying on top of her duvet dressed in her t-shirt and knickers. How had she got there?
She blinked. Her throat felt dry and rough, her head ached and she thought that if she moved too fast she might just throw up. She had no memory of getting undressed. No memory of coming to bed. Shit, shit and double shit. What had she done?
She vaguely remembered smoking a joint in the garden, drinking like it was going out of fashion, and staggering up the stairs snogging – oh no—
‘Oh my God, Troy!’ She sat bolt upright on the bed. Had she really been snogging Troy? What on earth must she have been thinking? Well, that was the problem of course. Rational thought hadn’t come into anything. Otherwise she wouldn’t have ended up all over Lauren’s ex, who hitherto hadn’t impressed her in the slightest. Though she did vaguely recall an alcohol-hazed attraction.
And where on earth was Troy now? Please God nothing worse had happened.
Gingerly, she got out of bed, threw some clothes on, and went downstairs to see what carnage awaited her. ‘Urgh,’ she said, surveying the scene. The place looked hideous. There was something to be said for Richard’s methodical approach to life. He’d have had everything tidied in bin bags and put away the previous night, rather than be left with the fag ends, beer cans, spilt wine and empty crisp packets that greeted Kezzie. ‘Double urgh.’ Someone had left a whole can of Special Brew, another person hadn’t quite finished their vodka. It was too early in the morning to even think about alcohol, let alone smell the remains of someone’s leftovers. Someone was curled up in a sleeping bag under the dining room table. Someone rolled over and sat up. Oh my God, Troy. What was he still doing there?
‘Well, hi there, sexy,’ said Troy. ‘Why don’t you come and snuggle down with me?’
‘I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ said Kezzie.
‘You seemed so keen last night.’ Troy actually winked at her. Kezzie felt like she wanted to throw up.
‘Last night should never
have happened,’ said Kezzie firmly, wishing she knew exactly what had happened.
‘And you and me were so good together,’ said Troy.
‘Oh my God we didn’t?’ Kezzie swallowed. She hadn’t felt so mortified since her student days, when she’d woken up after an all nighter next to the right-wing president of the Student Conservative Society.
‘No,’ admitted Troy, ‘sadly not. But not from want of trying. You know it’s not very good for a guy’s ego when his latest conquest collapses in a drunken heap on the bed.’
‘Sorry,’ said Kezzie, awkwardly. ‘Actually, what do I mean? I’m not sorry. I didn’t mean to lead you on. I was drunk and I was stoned. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t have touched you with a bargepole.’
‘That’s flattering,’ said Troy.
‘But true,’ said Kezzie. ‘You. Me. It’s a car crash waiting to happen. But if it makes you feel better, it’s not you, it’s me.’
‘It never is,’ said Troy.
‘In this case, it really is,’ said Kezzie. ‘I’m not over my ex, and I’m a complete mess relationship-wise. You really would be better off without me.’
‘It’s OK,’ said Troy. ‘Spare me the remorse. I’m not that into you.’
Now it was her turn to feel deflated, and more embarrassed than she thought it was possible to be, Kezzie escaped into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea.
‘Hair of the dog?’ Gavin emerged from the lounge where he and Flick had kipped.
‘I think I might just throw up,’ said Kezzie.
‘What you need is a nice fry-up and some fresh air,’ announced Flick, who had followed him out, looking disgustingly chipper. ‘Is there are a decent café round here?’
‘There’s a good one on the High Street,’ said Kezzie. ‘Anything’s got to be better than clearing up this mess.’ She could almost hear Richard tut under his breath, and say You’ll only have to do it later.
‘Bugger off out of my head, Richard,’ she muttered. ‘It’s my life, not yours.’
Joel, too, awoke with a hangover. But unlike Kezzie, he didn’t have the luxury of sleeping it off. He was woken by a screaming Sam at 6 a.m. A late night hadn’t affected his internal alarm clock at all. Reluctantly Joel got himself out of bed, sorted Sam out, and then poured himself a cup of strong, black coffee. It was 7 a.m. and the day stretched ahead of him – one when he was also going to have to drive over to Chiverton to take his mum out for lunch. It was, Joel felt, going to be a very long day.
By nine o’clock, he and Sam were all played out, and Sam was clamouring for the park. So he got the buggy out, strapped Sam into it, and set off down the hill. He paused at the end of Lauren’s road, wondering if she’d welcome him coming round with another apology, and decided that would make matters worse, and more embarrassing all round. He was kicking himself for first, allowing himself to get drunk, and second, letting go of his inhibitions enough for him to have made a complete fool of himself. He was never going to be able to face Lauren again.
At the Memorial Gardens, he found Tom working on the flowerbeds alone. Apparently he was the only one without a hangover, and had got up early to make the most of the day. Sam was happy in his buggy for a bit, so Joel helped Tom start on a bed they hadn’t touched the previous day. Gradually, the others appeared: Flo and June arriving first, laughing raucously at the state of them. ‘You youngsters!’ June said. ‘No staying power.’
‘In our day we’d dance all night and get up and do a day’s work in the factory,’ said Flo. ‘No stamina, this lot.’
Eventually Kezzie appeared looking rather green, followed by Gavin and Flick, who didn’t, and they all started working again in a desultory fashion.
‘Good night?’ grinned Joel, taking the opportunity to down tools and get ready to go to his mum’s.
‘Not really,’ said Kezzie. ‘I drank too much and made a total prat of myself.’
‘Ditto,’ said Joel.
‘Why? What did you do that’s worse than snogging Troy?’ said Kezzie.
‘Bloody hell,’ said Joel, who felt quite shocked. He’d been so sure that Troy was going to make a move on Lauren. What a two-faced bastard he was. ‘How on earth did you let that happen? I didn’t think you were keen on Troy.’
‘I’m not,’ said Kezzie, ‘and I know, I know, Lauren’s my friend, and I should have definitely not gone there. I feel really bad about it. But he does have a certain seedy charm, and he was certainly more appealing through an alcoholic haze. I really am getting too old for this kind of thing. I think I may never drink again.’
‘You’re not the only one,’ said Joel with feeling. He cringed internally as he remembered the look on Lauren’s face.
‘So what did you do then?’ said Kezzie. ‘It can’t be as bad as that.’
Joel sighed. He couldn’t believe how cut up he was feeling about Lauren’s rejection of him, or what a fool he was for recognizing his feelings for her too late.
‘After I left the party I went round to Lauren’s and told her I was jealous of Troy and that I was in love with her,’ said Joel.
‘About time too,’ said Kezzie. ‘You two are made for each other.’
‘Unfortunately, Lauren doesn’t agree with you,’ said Joel, with a grimace.
‘Ah,’ said Kezzie.
‘In fact, she laughed in my face,’ said Joel, with a groan. ‘How humiliating is that?’
‘OK, you win on the humiliation front,’ said Kezzie. ‘How did you leave things?’
‘It is never to be spoken of again,’ said Joel. ‘What about you?’
‘Well, I was incredibly mature and ran out of the house,’ said Kezzie. ‘But basically I’m following the same idea as you.’
‘We’re pathetic,’ said Joel. ‘Lonely Hearts Club, eat your heart out.’
‘Oh well. At least we’re mates,’ said Kezzie. ‘And nothing can go wrong with that.’
Lauren didn’t have a hangover. But she’d had a bad night’s sleep nonetheless.
What on earth had Joel been thinking, coming on to her like that? OK it was obvious that the drink was talking, but really. She’d watched him seduce half the village. Why did he think he could get the better of her and that she’d fall for the charms that had broken hearts for miles around? Maybe it was her previous form with losers that made her seem like an easy target. If that was the case, then she was really cross. It implied Joel thought she was a pushover. And she wasn’t. Not any more.
Although … she had to admit. Despite her better judgement, Troy was beginning to win her round. He was kind and considerate whenever she worked in the pub, he had not missed a single day with the girls, who were really enjoying having him around, and she had to admit she’d been impressed by his plans for a community centre. Maybe he’d finally grown up and was preparing to settle down at last. If he was … Lauren allowed herself a brief wild daydream of them getting back together. All she’d ever wanted was the girls to have their dad, and Troy to want her again the way he’d wanted her when they first met.
The doorbell rang and Lauren immediately revised her opinion of Troy’s grown-up status.
‘You look a right mess,’ she said, surveying him with dismay. He hadn’t shaved, he was still in the clothes he was wearing the previous day, and he stank of beer and fags. She didn’t want the kids seeing him like this.
‘That’s a nice welcome,’ said Troy.
‘Well, it’s true,’ said Lauren in exasperation. ‘Have you looked in a mirror lately?’
‘Haven’t dared,’ said Troy. ‘Any chance of a cuppa?’
‘Not until you’ve had a shower,’ said Lauren, ‘you stink.’
‘But you love me really,’ said Troy, with a cheeky grin. ‘Care to join me?’
‘Don’t push your luck,’ said Lauren. She put the kettle on while Troy showered, feeling all at sea. Joel had unsettled her last night with his declaration of undying love. She was sure he didn’t mean it really, it was the booze talking, but now, holding him
in the light against Troy, she felt confused. Lauren had been on the verge of letting Troy back into her life, but seeing him like this had put her off again. And while she didn’t think she wanted Joel either, there was a part of her that didn’t know what she wanted.
Troy emerged twenty minutes later looking much better, though he hadn’t shaved, and his stubble made him seem that bit more attractive.
‘Good night was it?’ Lauren kept her tone light to cover up her inner turmoil. Why did Troy make her feel like this? If only it was as straightforward as saying, he’s no good, I don’t fancy him.
‘So good, I crashed next door,’ said Troy.
‘Who’s the unlucky lady?’ said Lauren.
‘Why do you assume there has to be a lady?’ said Troy in plaintive tones.
‘Because you’re a predictable tosser,’ said Lauren. Despite herself, she felt disappointed. She’d thought Troy was on the verge of changing and becoming responsible, she’d clearly thought wrong.
‘I found a sleeping bag which seemed spare and crashed on the floor if you must know.’
‘Yeah, right,’ said Lauren. ‘I so believe that.’
‘It happens to be true.’ Troy looked quite hurt that she didn’t believe him.
‘Whatever,’ said Lauren, trying not to show her relief, ‘it’s none of my business. Where’s everyone else?’
‘They’re all back at the Memorial Gardens,’ said Troy. ‘I just thought with it being a sunny day, you and the girls might like to go for a picnic. If you get everything ready, I’ll pop home and come back and pick you up in half an hour.’
Though irritated with his assumption that she would prepare the picnic, Lauren couldn’t help being pleased that Troy had asked. It was worth it to see the girls’ faces as well.
‘OK, then,’ she said. ‘Lucky for you, I went shopping yesterday.’
Summer Season Page 21