I shower the best I can with one arm, dry off, and get dressed in the leggings and a large oversized T-shirt that my mom brought.
“Ready, sweetheart?” my mom asks as I emerge from the bathroom.
“As I will ever be.”
I stop at the nurses’ station to sign the papers I need to be discharged and make my way to the elevator, where Mike is standing waiting for us. Unfortunately, I must take a ride from my room to the front door of the hospital in a wheelchair pushed by my mother.
Mom’s car is waiting there at the curb, and I get in the back seat. Mom is in the passenger seat, and Mike is driving. Two hours later, with no incident, we arrive at my mother’s house and make our way inside, where I find Kat, James, baby Stephanie, and my dad all waiting for me.
“Surprise!” they all shout, with a “Welcome Home” sign hanging above their heads. I step in, hug each one of them and thank them for being here, and then retreat to my old room, making excuses about being tired after the car ride.
If life couldn’t get any worse, I have a bouquet of flowers on my bedside table with a note from Max. “I’m sorry, I love you always. You’re safer without me. ~Max”
The tears start to fall, and the anger I feel for him outweighs the love I feel. I pick up the vase and throw it—as hard as I can one handed—and watch it shatter to pieces, just like my heart.
Everyone comes running to my room as I sink to the floor on my knees, sobbing.
“What the hell happened?” James says as Kat comes running over to my side, avoiding the glass the best that she can.
“He is a goddamn asshole, and I hate him.” I collapse into Kat and sob until I have no more tears to cry.
Chapter Twenty
Max
A piece of me died when I walked out of her hospital room. I know she will never forgive me for this, but I will never forgive myself for putting her in danger, or, worse, almost getting her killed. I may have just walked away from the best thing to happen to me in a very long time, but losing her like this is better than her losing her life.
No one knows I have a small place on the other side of town, and that’s exactly where I go. My cell phone is currently turned off, so I hide like the coward that I am, once again. Bren doesn’t deserve me, and I sure as hell don’t deserve her. For twenty-four hours, I plan and plan. I use all of the resources I have available to me to locate the bastards that won’t leave me alone, and I plan some more. I need to do this. I need to destroy them on my own, by my own hands. Jackson needs to worry about the girl I love and keeping her safe. I’ve got this.
In a matter of two days, I’ve managed to locate and form a plan to take down and destroy the members of the Calluci family. I’m smart this time. This time I get a meeting with the head of the family, and if Bren and everyone else are safe from my destruction, I don’t care if I come out alive.
I finally call Jackson on the morning of the fourth day. I let him know what I am doing and planning, so he knows if I don’t surface where to look for me. He lets me know that Bren is fine and being released from the hospital that afternoon.
“I can send you back up, man, don’t do this alone,” he urges.
“I need to end this, and I need to be the one to do it, Jackson. I appreciate the offer, but it’ll all end today, I hope.”
“Be careful. I have Mike going back to Portland with Bren and Tina. I’ll make sure that they are safe. Max, you need to talk to her. She isn’t stupid, and she wants to know where you are. I love you like a brother, but you’re being an asshole right now. You’re on a suicide mission. You know we can take care of this, and you know we will come out on top. Use your head, man.”
“I can’t have any of you mixed up in this mess. I’ve got this and will end it. I will call you tonight. Bye.”
After hanging up with Jackson I make a call to the florist to get a delivery to Bren’s house before she gets home. Once that mission is completed, I concentrate on my meeting with the head of the Calluci family.
I make the drive across Boston to the Calluci brownstone, I go unarmed on my person but am fully loaded in my car. I know I will be searched the minute I enter that door. I’m correct, and once I pass inspection I’m escorted to the man himself.
“Close the door and have a seat. What is it that you want?”
“Mr. Calluci, I have a problem, and I think you can help. As much as you hate me, and as much as this family blames me for Clarissa’s death, I need to know something. Her brothers have been coming after me, my friend Jackson who is head of the Milano family, and just a few days ago they had my girlfriend run down on Route 1. She has been in the hospital ever since. What I want is to know is, what I have to do to make it stop?”
“What are you talking about? I’ve never ordered anyone to go after you or Jackson. You didn’t give her cancer. No one in this family, me included, was happy that she was with you, but it was her choice.”
I’m shocked to hear these words coming from his mouth. Now I truly know where the blame is to be placed. Before I know what’s happening, Mr. Calluci is calling Clarissa’s brothers to his office. I stand and move to the other side of the room, anticipating conflict. As soon as they see me, they draw their weapons and aim right at my head. I stand there, not showing any emotion as I hear the head of their family yell at them.
“For fuck’s sake, stand down. Now!”
They slowly lower their guns and move their line of sight to the head of their family.
“What is going on here? Why is he in our house?” the younger brother asks.
“This is my house and you will respect that. Now what the hell have you two been doing behind my back?”
“Clarissa is dead because of him! He ruined our family once, and he will do it again,” the older one hisses.
“He did not kill her, you idiot! Cancer killed her. She made her choice, and because we couldn’t accept that, we lost her before we even had to. This is our fault, not his. You two have got to stop this crap or I will stop you. My boys or not, your behavior is unacceptable. You nearly killed that girl. Max had the decency to come here unarmed and willing to fix whatever we had a problem with him. How dare you two take revenge on him and Jackson without my order or permission!”
I watch as both boys hang their heads low as the realization of what they have done sets in. I see the fear in their eyes, too.
“Max, you get one free shot at them right now, but then this is over. We all lost someone we loved, and we all hurt in our own way. This stops now,” he says, with more force in his words than I have ever felt from anyone before.
Both boys look up at their father with shock in their eyes. They both look in my direction as I move forward. As much as I feel blood raging, I take my shot with a left hook to one brother and a right hook to the other. I look them both in the eye. “You deserve so much more, but I’ll show you the mercy you didn’t show my girl. Leave me and Jackson alone, or the next time we cross paths, I’ll snap your necks. You’re lucky that Bren wasn’t hurt more than she was.” I reverse my hits and give them each another right and left hook, and for good measure I knee them both in the gut. I turn and nod at Mr. Calluci before I walk out the door, both men keeled over on the floor.
I call Jackson. “It’s done and over. If they come at us again, we have permission to kill them, from Mr. Calluci himself.” Before he can say a word, I hang up.
Chapter Twenty-One
Bren
I wake up the next morning, and, after a struggle in the bathroom with only the use of one arm, I make my way into the kitchen. I'm greeted by Kat, James, Mom, Dad and Mike, all chatting over breakfast. As soon as I enter, they all look up at me with sympathetic eyes. I ignore the looks and beeline for the coffee pot to make myself my morning pick-me-up.
“Morning, everyone.”
“Morning,” they all reply in unison.
“Stop looking at me that way. I’m fine. I will be fine, on to the next battle. Next week I have surgery, and then I
will continue to move on from that. I appreciate the sympathy, but I don’t need it. I am and will be fine.”
Kat is the first to speak up. “We know that you are strong, Bren, but we’re here. No matter what. We’re here for you. Everyone in this room loves you.”
“I know, Kat, but I can’t look at you all looking at me like my dog just died and I’m next.” I grab my cup with my good hand and go back to my room.
I make myself as comfortable as I can, crank up my music through the Bluetooth speaker, and think. I think about what an asshole Max is and wonder how he can do this shit to me again. Then I start to worry about the surgery I have coming up, the surgery I should already be recovering from.
“Ugh, I hate him,” I huff as I snuggle in with my coffee and my own thoughts. A little while later, my phone rings, and it's Jackson.
“Hey, Bren.”
“Hey.”
“How are you doing? Are you all settled in at home?”
“I’m fine, Jackson. What’s going on in Boston?”
“Max called, said that everything was taken care of, then he hung up. I haven’t heard from him since. I don’t know where he is.”
“Well, he’s good at disappearing, isn’t he?”
“He’s an asshole, Bren, but I know he loves you. When I find him, I’ll make sure he knows what an ass he’s being.”
“Yeah, good luck with that. Thanks for checking in with me, but I’m fine. Mike seems to fit in well with this crowd, by the way. Thanks for sending him with us. I think it makes my mom feel better after what happened with me.”
“Not a problem, I want you all to be safe. Feel better, and I’ll talk to you in a day or two.”
“Sounds good. They scheduled my surgery for next Thursday, and treatments start two weeks from then. So, looks like I’ll be laying low for a while and staying with Mom and Dad.”
“I’ll make sure to call before your surgery. Love you.”
“Love you too, Jackson. Bye.”
The rest of the day flew by. Kat and James came by my room to say goodbye, and mom made sure I ate every meal. Otherwise, I stayed behind my closed door. After the music became monotonous, I decided to read the latest release from my favorite author. I devoured it whole, with the exception of moments when interrupted by Mom checking on me or making a trip to the bathroom. I realized that this was going to be my life for the next month, doing nothing and recovering.
A few days have passed, and I still haven’t heard from Max, and neither has Jackson, who called today to check on me. As much as I hate him at this moment, I’m beginning to worry about him. It’s been over a week since I left the hospital, and my surgery is in two days.
Well, I can’t say I haven’t heard from him completely. I’ve been receiving a delivery every day of my favorite things, from chocolates and flowers to treats from my favorite bakery. So, he’s been showing his presence, but I still haven’t heard his voice. As much as I hate him for running away again, I long to hear his voice. I still love him, and wish he was here by my side.
Jackson said the threat to Max was gone, so I don’t understand why he hasn’t come back. Why he hasn’t come for me?
Chapter Twenty-Two
Max
I know it is safe for me to return, but I’m having trouble going back. I’ve been a coward before, and I’m being a coward now. I’m ashamed, and I don’t know how I can even begin to make an apology to Bren about how I’ve behaved.
Jackson has been trying to get me to come back to the brownstone. He says he can see me starting down the path I went on after Clarissa’s death. In my head I know he is right, but I just don’t have any idea what to do to gain everyone’s trust back. Especially after all the hurt I have caused, both emotionally and physical.
I’m sitting in my secret apartment when Jackson calls. “Hey, Max.”
“Hey.”
“How are you doing today? Ready to come home yet?”
“Actually, I was just thinking about wanting and needing to get out of this place and back to living life now that everything seems to have gotten straightened out, but I don’t know how to fix it. Because of me, Bren got hurt. I’ve lost the trust of the people I love, including you. I have become the coward again, a runner. How do I come back from that?”
“You haven’t lost my trust, brother. I understand you more than you know. We’ve been through this before. I get it. You thought that you were doing what was right for Bren, but you also did what you needed to do to make sure that she would be safe in the future. Max, she loves you. She is worried about you, and she wants you. Come back here for a few days, let me help you get your asshole self-straight, and then I will bring you back to Portland. Bren has her surgery in two days. In spite of her anger and hurt, I know she wants you by her side. It’s time to step up and be the man she needs, even if it takes work to get her back.”
“Jackson, you’re right. I need to get straight, move on, and get her back. I want to be there for her during these cancer treatments. I also know that I deserve a couple of your right hooks to the face. I know you love her, and you want what is best for the both of us. I just wish I knew that I was what was right for her.”
“You are what is right for her. Now get your ass here and let’s get the old Max back to his girl.”
“I’ll head your way soon; I have a few things here to wrap up.”
“All right, but don’t punk out. Your room will be ready for you when you get here. Later.”
“Later.”
I start getting my things together and cleaning up the place, since it looks like a pig has been living here. In a few hours’ time, I’m packed and ready to go. With my duffel over my shoulder, I take the T to the brownstone and make it just in time for dinner. Security is still tight, but I’m able to walk right in and drop my bag in my room before arriving at the dinner table.
“You look like shit, man,” Jackson says as soon as I sit down
“Thanks, I feel like shit.”
“Eat, then we’ll talk after you shower and clean yourself up.”
“Sounds good.”
We eat in silence, the vibe in the air so tangible you could slice it with a knife. I knew he was holding back and had a lot to say to me. I figured he would probably clock me with his famous right hook, and I expect and accept all of it. Dinner ends quickly, so I go shower and put some clean clothes on. I strap my weapon to my leg and walk down to Jackson’s office. With a knock on the door, I hear his reply to enter and I do, full of respect for this guy who has saved me several times. I sure as hell hope he can save me again.
“Sit,” Jackson says as I step across the threshold. I drop into the seat across from him. I don’t say a word, because I can see the look on his face, and I know it would do no good to speak.
“I get it. Okay, you wanted to keep her safe. What I don’t get is why the fuck you wouldn’t go right to her when you cleared everything up with the Calluci family. Why would you hide from not only Bren, but from me? Why the fuck you let anyone get into that head of yours is beyond me. You are better than that, and you are better than the way you have treated Bren. You need to get your shit together by tomorrow afternoon, because I’m taking your punk ass to Bren. You will grovel for her forgiveness and vow your love to her and her alone. Do you understand me, Max?” He is almost yelling at me.
“I get you, Jackson. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again—when the going gets tough, I run. I know I need to stop that shit, and I know that Bren deserves better than me. I can’t help but love her, but I have no idea why she would want to love a guy like me. I get what you are saying, and I promise you, I will never run again. I wanted to make sure that the threat against me was completely gone, and then I got a little too far into my own head. I don’t know why you’d even give me the time of day right now, but I appreciate it and love you for it.”
“It’s because I love you that I give you the time of day. Because I want you, my brother, to be happy, and I know that Bren is
who makes you happy. She has a tough road ahead of her in the next few months, and she needs you, even if she won’t admit it. She will need all of us on her side, and you pulling a vanishing act isn’t helping anyone. The threat against you is gone; therefore, she is no longer in danger. I will keep Mike there in Maine for a while just so we have another set of hands in case something does come up. Max, this has got to stop and stop now. I can’t stand to see you and Bren miserable. I’m here if you need me, but you need to figure out what you want tonight. We will leave tomorrow around eleven, and if you want her back, then you will fix this with her.”
“I will fix it, I promise.” Jackson gets up and walks around his desk toward me. I stand up, and he gives me a man hug. When he pulls back, he has a glint in his eye, and before I know what is happening—bam!—a right hook to the jaw. “I deserved that.”
“You sure as hell did. Now, go figure out what is going on in your head and what you’re going to do about Bren tomorrow when we get there.”
Rubbing my jaw, I tell him good night and go to my room to form a plan.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Bren
I wake up as I have every other morning the past week, but today is different. Today is the last day before I go in for surgery, before I lose a part of myself that I will never get back, and it scares the shit out of me.
I walk out of my room to the kitchen, where my mom is serving Mike some breakfast. I take a seat, and, as if by magic, a cup of coffee is in front of me in the blink of an eye.
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