Fighting to Save US

by Sarah Stevens

“Is this okay? I want you so bad, but if you aren’t ready, I understand.”

  “This is more than fine,” I say as I begin kissing him. After a few seconds, he begins to move toward my bed again. I can already feel his hardness against my center as he lays me down and presses himself against me while holding his weight off my upper body.

  “God I’ve missed you. I’ve been so stupid,” he says as he makes his way down my throat, leaving a trail of light kisses. His hands move up my sides and find their way under my shirt. I lean up so that he can pull it over my head, but then the arm of my shirt catches on my cast.

  “I’ve got it,” he whispers in my ear as he slowly removes the sleeve from around my cast. “I’m so sorry for this,” he says as he moves to kiss each finger poking out of my cast. He takes things slow, with light kisses up my arm, across my collarbone, and down the center of my breasts. His hands wrap around my back to unfasten my bra as he gently pulls it off me. With a heated look, he whispers, “So beautiful.”

  He proceeds to kiss his way from my chin to my left breast, while kneading my right. He flicks his tongue over my nipple and then sucks the hard pebble into his mouth before moving to my right breast to do the same. Little moans begin to escape my mouth—never has he been so gentle and loving with me. When he’s finished giving equal attention to both my breasts, he showers kisses down my stomach until he meets the edge of my jeans. He slowly unbuttons and then unzips them. I raise my hips just enough for him to pull them off and soon I’m lying there in just my thong. Again, he kisses his way back up my body until he meets my center. He kisses the small triangle of hair covering my mound before he takes his teeth to pull the material down. Now, fully exposed to his still-dressed self, I sit up, wanting to feel his skin against my own. Rising up on my knees, starting at his belt buckle, I gently kiss my way up his hard chest as I remove his shirt.

  He catches my mouth with his and presses me back down. “I’m not done with you yet, babe.” His hand glides down my torso, over my mound, and in between my swollen folds. “You’re so wet for me.” He slides his thick fingers inside me, and I gasp at the feeling of him inside my walls. He lowers his mouth and takes my clit between his teeth, pulling lightly. Another finger is added as I start to rock my hips as he pumps into me, hitting the spot that drives me crazy each time. He lifts his eyes up to me as he swirls his tongue. Within seconds, he has me right there at the brink of explosion.

  “Oh, God, yes! Right there! I’m going to come!” With those words, I go rigid and explode into his mouth and over his fingers. He slowly drags himself up my body with a smug look on his face as the waves of my orgasm subside.

  “Did that feel good?”

  “God, yes! I’ve missed you.” I take this opportunity to pull my legs up and shimmy his pants and boxer briefs down his hips with my toes.

  “Are you trying to tell me something, Bren? Don’t worry—I’m definitely not done with you yet.” He captures my mouth, and he tastes like coffee mixed in with a little bit of me. His hands spread my thighs apart as he enters me slowly. He stills long enough for me to adjust to his girth before he starts to move. This time is much more different than the last time. This time he is pouring all his love into me. We aren’t fucking; we’re making love for the first time. It feels amazing, and I don’t want it to stop, but I also want him to move a bit faster. I take my heels and dig them into his ass, urging him on.

  “That feels so good! Oh, my God! Oh, yes, right there!” I’ve never been one to get loud during sex, but with Max I am beyond comfortable with the connection we share because I love him. He brings a different person out of me.

  I can feel him starting to grow bigger, and I know he is getting close—so am I. “I’m close,” I whisper, to urge him on. He takes one of my legs and slings it over his shoulder, pounding me harder and faster. I tighten around him as my orgasm hits me, screaming out my pleasure. Max is quick to follow and stills inside me as his hot liquid fills me. He gently lowers my leg as he leans down to kiss me.

  “I’ve missed you so much. I love you, Bren.” He slowly pulls out of me and rolls to the side, pulling me along with him.

  “I love you too, Max.”

  We lie there for a few minutes when reality strikes. I have an appointment I need to get to. I look over to the bedside clock and see it has just hit two.

  “Max, we’ve got to get up! I need a shower, and I need to get to my appointment.”

  “Shit, I forgot about that.” He shoots up out of bed then takes my hand to help me up and into the bathroom.

  “Fuck, I need a plastic bag for my arm. Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I hate being late.

  “Start the water and I'll go find one for you.” I stop and stare for a second as he walks his naked ass into the kitchen, admiring the view. I finally get the water to the temperature I want as he returns, just in time for me to step into the shower.

  “I couldn't find any tape, but I got you a bag. Let me help you, so it doesn't get wet. I promise to behave in the shower.”

  “Okay, but we need to hurry. Ugh, I could have stayed in bed with you all day.”

  “Me too, babe, me too.”

  We both get showered, dressed, and in the car in record time, with twenty minutes to spare before my appointment. I enter the doctor's office just as my appointment time hits. Once I'm checked in, we take a seat in the waiting room and I exhale a deep breath of relief.

  “I’m sorry we had to rush off. Today was amazing. I love you.”

  “No worries, and you’re right, today was amazing. Love you more.”

  Before I could argue with him about who loved who more, my name is called, and reality sets in.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Max

  This afternoon was more than I could have ever expected out of this day. I never thought that I would have the chance to make love to the woman I love. To be happy again. To have Bren back in my life after I screwed up so badly was a miracle in itself. We rushed through our shower and got to the doctor with a few minutes to spare. After Bren was all checked in, we sat in the waiting room debating who loved who more. It wasn’t long before the nurse called Bren back.

  “Do you want me to stay here or go back with you?”

  She took a hold of my hand and led me to the door. “I need you with me.”

  “Every step of the way.”

  The room is small and claustrophobic, but I have to stay strong. Bren has her vitals checked and the nurse asks a lot of questions. I sit there and hold her hand the entire time. As the nurse leaves, her doctor walks in. I have never met him, but he immediately introduces himself to me.

  “Hi, I’m Dr. Gerrard, it’s nice to meet you.”

  “I’m Max, Bren’s boyfriend. Nice to meet you too.” I shake his hand quickly but politely then go back to holding Bren’s. Introducing myself as her boyfriend feels like such a trivial title for what our relationship is. I look over to Bren and smile, letting her know I am right there with her, every step of the way.

  “Today, I just want to go over everything with you and answer any questions you may have about the surgery or aftercare.”

  “Okay,” Bren squeaks out, her nervousness seeping through her words.

  I take a deep breath and steady myself for all the information I am about to hear. I keep giving Bren’s hand occasional light squeezes, letting her know I’m right there and not going to run with all the discussions about cancer and what happens during the procedure.

  “I want you to arrive here at the hospital at 7:00 a.m. to check-in. Once you are called back, we will have you change into a surgical gown and get you situated with an IV. You are scheduled for an 8:00 a.m. surgery time. After we have the IV inserted we will give you a little bit of medicine to relax you before we bring you to the operating room. You will be completely out for the surgery. We will be removing the right ovary and fallopian tube laparoscopically. What this means is that I will make a small incision right below your belly button and then another right above y
our pubic bone. The recovery time is a lot quicker and there is less scarring for you. I want you to have a light dinner the night before and no eating or drinking—not even to brush your teeth—after midnight. And, honestly, I prefer that you just have just a few sips of water after you eat dinner and right before bed. Do you have any questions for me?”

  “How long is the recovery time going to be? I know that you want to move forward with the chemotherapy treatments shortly after surgery, so when will that start? How long will she be in the hospital? I think that is about all I have right now,” I quickly shoot off to the doctor as my knee starts bouncing up and down.

  “Bren will stay in the hospital for one to two nights, depending on her recovery and how she is feeling. I would say normal recovery time for this type of procedure is around four weeks. I'm not saying she will be bed-bound during this time, and she'll probably feel well enough to be walking around after just a few days. Although she might be feeling better, she doesn't need to be doing any strenuous activity or heavy lifting for four weeks at minimum. As for the continued treatment, I want to start that two to three weeks after the surgery. Bren, I will have you come in so that we can check to make sure you are healing well, and then we can move on to the next step. Once we see how things go tomorrow I will decide when I want to follow up with you. Do you have any other questions?” Dr. Gerrard focuses on her, and, for the first time, I realize that she has my hand in a vice grip and is looking a little pale.

  “Bren, are you okay? You look pale, and I can’t feel my hand.”

  Finally, she speaks her first words since Dr. Gerrard came into the room. “I think I’m okay. I’m nervous, and well, honestly, I am scared shitless,” she says as a small chuckle escapes her mouth.

  “I can prescribe a small dose of Valium to help ease some of the anxiety if you would like. Obviously, I don’t want you driving or coming alone, if I do.”

  “I think I may need that,” she murmurs.

  “You have no worries about her being alone. I will be here with her, and her mom will be coming to the hospital too.”

  “Okay, good then. Well, I think that about covers it on my end. I will see you both in the morning. Bren, try to get some sleep tonight, if you can. My nurse will be back in shortly with your prescription. Don’t forget to take it with a very small sip of water right before leaving the house in the morning.”

  After the door closes, I look to Bren and see that she still looks pale. I stand up, wrap my arms around her, and hold her tight. It takes a second before she wraps her arms around me. I just hold her, not saying anything until the nurse comes back in. I pull away just enough to see the sad look on the nurse’s face.

  “Sweetie, this will help you in the morning. Make sure you take it as you’re leaving the house. I’ll be seeing you in the morning and getting you all set up. I made sure that I was assigned to your surgery tomorrow.”

  “Thank you.”

  I help Bren down off the examination table and take her hand as we walk out of the office to her car. Once she’s settled into the passenger seat and I’m settled behind the wheel, I gently hook her chin with my finger and make her look at me.

  “Bren, everything is going to be okay. I’ll be right there waiting for you when you get out of surgery. The doctor seems to know what he’s doing, and I know you trust him. Don’t be scared; I’ve got you.”

  “I get all that, Max, I really do, but I’m just a bit terrified here. This is a big deal. It could change so much for me, between this and the treatments afterwards.” Tears start to fall down her cheeks. I swipe my thumbs under her eyes to brush them away, but they keep falling. I gently pull her from her seat to my lap and just hold her, letting her cry.

  “I’ve got you, babe, and I’ll never let you go, no matter what you can or can’t give me. I love you for you. We will fight this battle together, and I’ll be right here when you are cancer free. I love you, Bren.” I brush a light kiss to her temple as she pulls back from me and looks me in the eyes.

  “I love you too. Thank you for coming back to me. I know this is hard for you because of what you’ve been through before, but I love you so much, and I’m glad you want to be here. I know everything will be all right, I really do, but I’m still scared.”

  “I wish I could take all the pain away from you, but I can’t.” I take her lips with mine and show her how much I wish I could take all her pain away. When I pull back, finishing with a light peck on her lips, I realize it has gotten dark outside, and we need to get going so we can get her prescription filled before the pharmacy closes.

  “Let’s go get this filled and then grab some dinner. We can take a nice hot bath together or sit and watch movies. I don’t care what we do as long as I have you in my arms. Does that sound good?”

  “That sounds just fine with me.” She moves over to her seat, and once she’s buckled-up we drive to the pharmacy.

  After we pick up her prescription from the drug store, we realize neither one of us has much appetite, so we decide to grab some sandwiches from the deli up the street near the apartments and take it back to Bren’s place. I still haven’t been to my place and have no idea what condition it’s in, but knowing Kat she’s had my place cleaned too.

  We sit in silence as we eat at Bren’s little kitchen dinette, but neither of us are eating much. Bren gets up to throw her trash away when she’s finished. “I’ll be back in a few minutes; I have to call Kat and my mom to let them know what the plan is for tomorrow. Sit and finish your food.” She leans over and kisses me briefly before she makes an exit.

  I decide I can’t eat any more, so I throw my trash away, move to the couch, and make a call myself.

  “Hey, Jackson, you make it back to Boston?”

  “Yeah, we made it just fine. How did today go?”

  “Not great. She has been so quiet ever since the appointment. I don’t know what to do other than hold her and let her cry. Surgery is at eight in the morning, and we have to be there by seven. Everything seems to be so cut and dry, but the doctor seems to know what he’s doing. We’ll be at the hospital for at least two days, depending on how she is feeling and doing. Bro, it was a lot to take in today.”

  “I know it must’ve been hard on both of you, but I’m glad you are there for her, and I know she loves you for it. Everything will be fine. Just get her there in the morning and keep letting her know you’re there. Call me if you need anything and definitely call when she is done with the surgery.”

  “I will, no worries. Thanks for being there for me. I can’t thank you enough for putting up with my bullshit and always knocking sense back into me, with or without your right hook.”

  “Anytime, bro. Don’t forget to call me.”

  “Will do, goodnight.”

  After I end my call, I go and check on Bren. I don’t enter her room, but I hear her on the phone still. Instead of interrupting, I send her a text.

  Max: Going to check on my apartment. Be back in a few.

  Bren: OK. Talking to Mom, I’m almost done.

  Max: Love you

  Bren: Love you more

  I walk out her door and make the quick trip up the hall to my door and enter. I was right; Kat had my place cleaned as well. Everything seems to be in its place, so I have nothing to worry about. I text Kat a quick text of thanks then go back to Bren.

  Her calls are made, and she’s sitting on the couch.

  “Everything good down the hall?”

  “My place looked a lot like your place. Dust-free and spotless.”

  “I’m not surprised.”

  “You doing okay?”

  She sighs. “I’ll be fine once it’s all over with.”

  “I’ll be right there by your side and then right there when you wake up.” I sit down next to her and pull her onto my lap, pulling her head against my chest.

  “I’m so glad that you came back this morning. I didn’t know how much I needed you until I didn’t have you.”

  “There is nowhe
re else I would rather be.”

  “Where were you, anyway? Jackson didn’t even know where to find you.”

  “I have a small studio apartment right outside the city in neutral territory that no one knows about. You’re the first person I’ve ever told about this place. I was scared that even though I took care of the threat against me that they would still find a reason to go after you. After seeing you in the hospital, and it being my fault, I couldn’t handle anything else happening to you. Once again, I was a coward and ran away right when you needed me the most. I can never apologize enough for that, but I really am sorry from the bottom of my heart. I wish I could do more than say the words, but that’s all I have. I can’t make up for the time I disappeared, but I can be here for you now and forever, always. I love you more than anything.”

  “Please promise me that the next time you get scared you’ll come talk to me—or Jackson or James, anyone, but don’t leave.”

  “I promise.”

  I seal my promise with a kiss. I start to run my fingers through her hair as I deepen the kiss, and she shifts her body so that she is straddling me. I instantly go hard; I can’t help it. She turns me on with a shake of her ass, and with her heat so close to my groin I can’t help but get excited.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Bren

  I can feel him between my legs, and I love that I do that to him. This is my last opportunity for sex for a long time, so I need to take this time to love my man while I can. I grab hold of the hem of his shirt, tugging it up and over his head. His hands leave my sides just long enough for me to remove his shirt completely. Our lips separate for just a second, so the shirt can pass between us. His hands return to my sides as I run my hands all over his torso—I’ve missed the feel of him in my hands.

  I can tell he's letting me take charge of where this is going tonight, and I love and appreciate him for it. I want to feel him skin to skin, so I pull back to remove my shirt as he stares at me. I reach behind and undo the clasp on my bra and let it fall. His hands automatically go right to my breasts and he starts to tweak my nipples before leaning down and taking one into his mouth.