"YZ/I hates to admit it, Legroeder—but he's tired of living this way. And I'm more than tired of it. Legroeder? I want the raiding to stop! YZ/I does, too—it's just that his reasons are more pragmatic." She waved her wine glass. "He'd say something like, 'It makes us lazy—we'd be stronger if we made do for ourselves.' " She sniffed, and he couldn't quite tell what emotion she was feeling.
"Do you believe that?" he asked.
"Sure, I believe it. But I also just want out of it. I'm sick of it." She pressed her lips together, then said more softly, "It's wrong and I'm sick of it. Never mind the fancy reasons." She gazed at him, and he suddenly realized that her implants were dark and her eyes were welling with tears. For a moment, she sat crying silently, her wine glass quivering in her hand. Wiping an eye on her sleeve, she whispered, "Before you came, I didn't like it—but I wasn't sure why. Then I caught a glimpse of how you see it, what you went through."
Legroeder frowned. "But I didn't show... did I show that to you?"
"Yes, you did. I don't think you meant to. But I'm glad you did, because it showed me what was wrong." She seemed about to say more, then shook her head and looked away with a sigh.
Legroeder's heart ached. He took the glass from Tracy-Ace's hand and set it, with his own, on the end table. He gently enfolded her in his arms. She sat stiffly, and for the first time in a while he remembered that she was taller than he was. Finally she softened and sank against him, putting her head on his shoulder, shaking as she let her feelings tumble out with her tears. After a while, she lay down with her head in his lap. He stroked her hair, saying nothing.
Not long after, he realized she was asleep. He gently stretched her out on the bed and pulled a cover over her. He sat watching her for the better part of an hour, thinking about what she had told him. Thinking about his own actions.
He didn't know what he thought. That he had succeeded in his mission and become a hero? That he had sold out to pirates—and was now paving the way for them to colonize the stars? That he had fallen for a woman whose existence was so utterly alien that he was an idiot even to dream of a common ground between them? That he didn't care, because he loved her anyway?
He lay awake for a long time; he lay in the near darkness beside Tracy-Ace, wishing he had his old pearlgazers to use as a focus to make sense of it all. Finally he pretended that he was with Deutsch and his gazing crystals, and he carried on a long dialogue with himself on a lighted stage, imagining his implants as silent spectators. He debated the merits of collaboration with the enemy versus fighting versus fleeing, and in the end, as the curtain closed, he fell asleep, exhausted, having decided nothing.
* * *
He woke just before Tracy-Ace did. As he was attempting to sort out his blurry morning thoughts, Tracy-Ace sat up abruptly and threw off the covers. "Uh—" he said, still trying to bring last night back into focus "—Trace, you okay?"
She turned her head to gaze down at him, as if she didn't know why he was here. Her augments were flickering madly. She seemed to be light-years away. He sat up beside her. "Ace?"
"Hi," she said. The powerlessness and self-doubt were gone from her voice, but he wasn't sure what had taken their place. Her silver-green eyes were alert but distracted. She seemed to focus on him for a moment. "I have to go," she said, jumping out of bed. "Something I've got to have out with YZ/I. Right now." She glanced down, brushing at the clothes she'd slept in. She grabbed a bottle of juice from the fridge, took a swallow and handed the bottle to Legroeder, then headed for the door.
"Ace, wait!"
"I'll see you la—" And then the door clicked behind her, cutting off her voice.
Legroeder stared silently after her, turning the bottle slowly in his hands.
* * *
When she hadn't called by lunchtime, Legroeder buzzed her quarters from his own, without success. He put in a general call for her on the intelnet, and got back a brusque message saying that she was in conference, and would he please get his ass to YZ/I's operations center, if he could find it. He presumed the latter was a reference to operations, not his ass, so he headed off to the flicker-tube.
He found YZ/I and Tracy-Ace in the middle of a shouting match. Tracy-Ace was doing most of the shouting; actually, all of the shouting. "You say you want to change things, but you don't have the guts to just up and do it, do you?" she yelled, striding back and forth like a pacing wildcat. YZ/I's face showed only a low, emberlike glimmer. "I hear all this goddamn talk about shaking things up, but what you mean is you want to shake up just as much as you feel comfortable with! You want to be comfortable in your virtue, don't you, YZ/I?"
"Hello, Legroeder," said YZ/I, nodding.
"Don't change the goddamn subject!"
"Legroeder's here," YZ/I said, pointing.
Tracy-Ace turned, startled, her temple implants going like crazy. "Legroeder. Hi."
"Hi."
"We were just—" Tracy-Ace shook an exasperated fist at YZ/I.
"So I gathered. Just out of curiosity, may I ask—"
"No," Tracy-Ace snapped.
A flicker of light went up YZ/I's face. "Why not tell him?"
"Tell me what?" Legroeder asked.
YZ/I answered. "That we're inviting some people to leave if they want to, and sending them to Faber Eridani with you. People you might call... prisoners."
"What?" Tracy-Ace screamed.
Legroeder looked back and forth between them in confusion.
"You mean you've been planning to do it all along? You lying, devious sonofabitch! You've been toying with me all this time, claiming you can't do it because it would be admitting guilt!"
YZ/I reached out with a hand that didn't quite touch her arm. "Let's say you made a very convincing argument."
She glared at him, temples blazing.
YZ/I shrugged. "I needed you to give me persuasive arguments to use on Lanyard and his crew."
"Fuck Lanyard and his crew!"
YZ/I grinned. "Not for me to do, dear. But I do have to watch my backside. If I'm not careful to justify it, he could make a move against me in the Cabinet. We're not invulnerable, you know."
"You'd annihilate him."
"Maybe. But it would be messy. And it doesn't pay to be overconfident."
Tracy-Ace snarled, "So what justification are you using?"
"Why, just what you said. If we want the Centrist Worlds to play ball with us, we need to make a good-faith gesture. And it'll send a signal to our own people that things are changing." YZ/I cocked his head, eyes alight. "You always say these things better than I do. That's one reason I promoted you." He grinned again. "You know, Carlotta bet me I wouldn't do it. I can't wait to hear her reaction."
Tracy-Ace turned to Legroeder. "I cannot believe this."
"Believe it," YZ/I said. "Now, both of you clear out of here and let me do my work, okay?"
As he left with Tracy-Ace, Legroeder said in puzzlement, "I don't get it. Aren't you glad he's doing it?"
"Of course I'm glad. But the sonofabitch was toying with me. I don't know how he gets away with it, honestly." Tracy-Ace paused in her stride and closed her eyes for a count of three, her lips twitching as she subvocalized. Her eyes popped open again. "I'm going to have to call him on that, sooner or later. Anyway—" she drew a breath and pursed her lips in a frown. "I'm glad we're sending some people home, I'm glad we're pressuring KM/C, I'm glad of all except one thing."
"What's that?"
She turned, her eyes dark. "You're leaving tomorrow."
* * *
They spent most of that day together, and most of it in silence. Or if not silence, then in conversation about matters technical and administrative. How to prepare and organize the Impris passengers and crew; how to present the Kyber bargain to the Fabri authorities, and the Narseil authorities.
Dinner was almost as silent; they hardly ate, pushing aside a savory meal ordered specially by YZ/I for them for the occasion. They sat on the edge of Tracy-Ace's bed, looking at the walls, gla
ncing at each other, scarcely touching. Then her hand went out, and his. They clasped tentatively; then hard. He touched her hair, stroked it. They began to kiss.
They made love in a frantic, almost wordless coupling. His implants remained silent; it was just the two of them, undressing each other in awkward haste. There was so much he wanted to say—and he could only say it in whispers and sighs, with his hands on her and their bodies pressing together. Her hands were all over him, drawing out his pent-up fears and his streaming, billowing desires all at the same time; and woven through it were her desires, not through the implants but through sound and scent and touch and murmured half-words. She moaned as he touched her; she didn't want him to leave, now or tomorrow or the next day; he didn't want to leave her at all. Their desire was bubbling over; he was already inside her in a way, but it wasn't enough. He was holding her naked breasts, and her hands were moving on him, and he was breathing so fast he couldn't think.
It was fast and slow, all at the same time. He rose against her, and she pushed back, crying out; and when they came, it was with a cascade of pain and gladness and sorrow. And then they subsided into a tangled heap, whispering and murmuring without saying a word, and yet meaning everything.
* * *
She stood with him as the entire Narseil crew filed past onto Impris. They were the last to board, except for Legroeder. "I will come and see you," Tracy-Ace said softly. "When I can."
"How? When?" he murmured. He was having trouble talking, with the lump in his throat.
She looked away. "I can't say, exactly. When I can."
He nodded, but it was hard to believe. Node Alfa of Fortress Ivan, visiting Faber Eridani?
She grabbed his arm suddenly. "Legroeder! I almost forgot! Rings!"
"What?"
"That boy—Bobby Mahoney?"
His pulse quickened. "What about him?"
Tracy-Ace had a look of intensity on her face; she was focused inward, on her augments. "A source on DeNoble found a record of the boy being taken from DeNoble to another outpost."
"Yes?"
"The trail ended there, from his point of view. But he thought that someone more highly placed might be able to pick it up."
Legroeder frowned. "Which leaves us where? Do you have someone more highly placed?"
"Well—KM/C is pretty highly placed."
Legroeder opened his mouth, closed it. "I thought you guys were practically mortal enemies!"
"Well... you'd be surprised how much we can compartmentalize our agreements and disagreements. There's a certain... I guess you could call it a code of—" She hesitated.
"What? Honor among thieves?"
Tracy-Ace reddened. "Basically, yes. I mean, a ship here and a ship there... it's almost like chips in a board game. That may sound cruel—"
"It is cruel."
"Yes, it is. But it's their way. You heard YZ/I talking about a bet he had with KM/C? Well, I've been leaning on him to include finding that boy and giving him his freedom, as part of the payoff when we win."
Legroeder was astounded. "Do you really think there's hope?"
"There's always hope."
"Harriet will be very happy to hear that," Legroeder said softly, almost to himself. Cocking his head, he asked, "Do you mind if I ask—what exactly is this bet?"
She shrugged, a little smile on her face. "You'll find out soon, I imagine."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You'll see. Promise."
"Rigger Legroeder," called one of the ship's officers from the hatch. "The captain is ready for departure."
"They need you." Tracy-Ace swallowed, gazing at him.
"I hate this," he said hoarsely.
"I do, too," Tracy-Ace whispered. She leaned into him and kissed him earnestly. "I love you, I think. Good-bye."
Legroeder still felt the pressure of her lips as he turned and boarded Impris.
Chapter 38
Going Public
The pursuit was getting faster. The Narseil driver, flying low through the suburban streets, had put some distance between the embassy van and their overhead pursuit; but another floater-van, a white one, had appeared out of nowhere to their left and was trying to pull alongside them.
"Stay down!" Peter ordered Harriet, before snapping another street direction to the Narseil driver.
My God, not again, Harriet thought, recalling the attack on their approach to the McGinnis house. Could these people know about the McGinnis data? They'd already shown their willingness to kill.
Assistant Ambassador Dendridan had been on the com to the embassy. He leaned forward and spoke to the driver, then said to Harriet, "We're on our own for the next few kilometers. But we've got the edge, eh? I doubt their drivers can see into the future. Brace yourself."
An instant later, the restraint-field kicked on as the driver spun the van violently around an acute right turn, thrusters whining. The white van missed the turn, and could be heard, shrieking, trying to avoid other vehicles as it braked. The Narseil driver veered past two ground-cars and rocketed up a ramp onto a high-speed glideway. Before Harriet could catch her breath, they'd hurtled down the next ramp off the glideway, then careened around to get back on it, headed in the other direction.
"Carefully," Dendridan cautioned.
"Absolutely," said the driver.
"Hit it," said Peter. As they shot down the expressway, he craned his neck to look skyward for possible attack from above. "Our flyer friend is staying with us. Dendridan, you said they'd pick us up at Third and Park?"
"That's right," Dendridan said calmly. He looked at Harriet, his eyes widening. "Breathe, Mrs. Mahoney."
Harriet gasped; she hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath.
Minutes passed. "About three seconds now," Peter said. They veered suddenly to the left and came down off a ramp into the downtown area. "There they are!" They were abruptly flanked by three green floaters similar to their own van. One cut directly behind them; the other two closed in on either side.
"Yours?" Harriet wheezed.
"Ours," Dendridan murmured. "Now, let's proceed home with all due speed, shall we?"
Peter peered back from the front seat with a crooked Clendornan grin. "I see we have police coming up behind. I wonder if they're here to stop us or protect us."
Harriet glanced back uneasily. She was still technically a fugitive for helping Legroeder jump bail; she didn't want to deal with the police right now. The diplomatic protection was no doubt causing strains in higher echelons; it might have its limits. She turned forward again. "Don't let the police stop us. How much farth—?"
Her question was cut off as the Narseil driver punched in full power, blasting through an intersection where the white van had just reappeared from the right. Peter started to say something, but was drowned out by a scream of thrusters and a sickening CRUNCH! Harriet looked back, horrified to see the right-flanking Narseil floater spinning around in the air, twisted together with the white van. "Mother of God," she breathed.
The sight was cut off as their own driver took one last turn, then blazed the final block to the entry gate of the Narseil Embassy. "We're in!" Peter cried, as the embassy gates opened to receive them. He craned his neck to look up, as the pursuing flyer peeled off into the sky.
"Very good," Dendridan said, as the van slowed to a stop in the underground parking garage. "Are you all right, Mrs. Mahoney?"
Harriet let her breath out with a shudder. "I'm fine. But what about your people back there?"
Dendridan was listening to the com. "We have help on the scene. Several of our staff members were hurt—apparently none seriously. I can assure you a protest will be filed. But in the meantime, we are safely back and I think we should get inside as quickly as possible."
Harriet looked out the window, where one of their escort-floaters had followed them into the compound. She sighed in gratitude. "Your people, they know how to provide a rescue squad, don't they?"
Dendridan's face creased in
a Narseil smile. "If those people were willing to threaten a diplomatic floater, they must be very frightened of what we can do. Please, Mrs. Mahoney—let us go see how we can help you use this information you have gained."
* * *
As the embassy staff brought in beverages and platters of seafood and fruit, Peter set up equipment to replay the McGinnis-implant reading. "Counselor Corellay gave this reading a confidence level of nine," he explained to high-level embassy officials who had come in to see what the excitement was about. "That means we can use it in court. It carries roughly the weight of a notarized deposition—almost as much as verbal testimony."
"Let's view it," said Dendridan, who had just returned from briefing Ambassador Nantock.
Harriet set aside her cup of tea and took a seat. During the live reading, she had been absorbing impressions and getting the general picture. This time her lawyer's mind would be running at full speed.
The replay took two hours, with numerous pauses and backtrackings. But when it was done, Harriet's mind was afire with the import of what they had learned. They might not be able to convict anyone solely on the basis of this evidence, but it could be the wedge they needed to crack the whole conspiracy open. If they could get new investigations started, especially in the press, and if other sources could be persuaded that the conspiracy was crumbling and they should talk...
Harriet turned to speak to Dendridan and realized for the first time that Ambassador Nantock had joined them. He was an old Narseil, probably El'ken's contemporary. His grey-green scaled face was wrinkled in thought. He inclined his head toward her. "Mrs. Mahoney, I believe you've got some damning evidence here. It could strengthen the Narseil position on several matters that have concerned us for a long time." His gill openings billowed. "Spacing Authority collaboration with Centrist Strength—who openly advocate discord with our people? And possible links to the Kyber pirates?" The Narseil shook his head in amazement.
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