by Janie Crouch
It was amazing and overwhelming. She’d only ever been with Damien and that had never, ever—even at the best of times—felt like this. Like she could gladly stay in this bed for the rest of her life and that would be just fine.
Ren was big and strong and domineering, holding her tight against him as they nestled side by side on the bed, keeping her where he wanted her. But when he rolled over on top of her, covering her with his big body, despite how much she wanted him, wanted this, all her mind could remember was Damien holding her under him. Forcing himself on her even when she didn’t want anything to do with him.
She tried to keep kissing Ren, to just push past the ugly memories that tried to creep in, but he noticed.
He sat up, holding his weight on his elbows on either side of her head, using his thumbs to brush her hair off her cheeks. “Hey,” he whispered. “What’s going on? Did you change your mind?”
She tried to force words out, but they wouldn’t come. As tears slid down her temples, he caught them with his fingers.
“Peaches. If you’ve changed your mind, that’s fine.”
“I—I got a little overwhelmed.” She finally got the words out. “It’s been a long time for me. And even before that it...wasn’t good.”
Anger burned in Ren’s eyes but Natalie knew it wasn’t directed toward her. Somehow he understood about Damien, had read between the lines, or maybe she hadn’t been as secretive as she’d thought when she talked about her past.
Ren rolled his weight off her, and all she could feel was a crushing defeat. All her talk about it just being the two of them inside the cabin and she’d gone and ruined it all. When Ren sat up she knew he was pulling away and the moment was over.
But instead, he pulled off his sweatpants and lay back down. He put both arms back behind his head, which caused the muscles in his arms and shoulders and chest to ripple.
By the time her eyes made it back to his face he was smiling, his eyes just as smoldering as they’d been a few minutes before.
“Oh,” she whispered. “We’re not done?”
“Peaches, I’ve been thinking about you and your soft skin and crystal eyes and haunted smile from the moment I laid eyes on you. Longer, it feels like.”
Something dark crossed over his face so fast she couldn’t quite decipher it. But whatever it was, he pushed it away and his smile was back.
“Right or wrong, good or bad, smart or stupid, I want you right now more than I’ve ever wanted any woman. I want to kiss you all over and see if your skin is just as sweet as the peaches and cream my mom used to give me.”
She couldn’t stop the hitch in her breath. “I want that, too. More than anything. I’m sorry I freaked out.”
“No need for apologies. We just need to slow things down. Get it to a speed you’re comfortable with.” He reached over and grabbed her wrist, giving her a tug so she was once again sprawled on top of his chest. His lips found hers, and all the passion was still there, but with a slow, lush burn this time.
“I’ve woken up with you like this every morning since I met you. Under you is very quickly becoming my favorite place to be in the world.” His thumb brushed along her jawline, sending a rush of sensation skimming across her flesh.
“I thought men wanted to be on top.” Damien would’ve never dreamed of doing anything but dominating her with his body.
Ren’s smile was wicked, his hands trailing down her throat, over her chest and breasts, before coming to rest on her waist. “A real man wants to be wherever is going to help his woman get what she wants.”
“I don’t know that I know what I want.”
He pulled her more fully on top of him. “Peaches, we’ve got all night to figure that out.”
And they did.
Chapter Thirteen
After their amazing night of lovemaking, trying to tell Natalie the truth hadn’t gotten any easier. The entire next day—for the couple hours he let her out of the bed—he’d peppered her with more questions about Freihof, trying to get any info he could.
Justifying to himself that once he told her who he really was she’d likely clam up for good.
She’d opened up more about her marriage and the hell it had been. She’d admitted to running from Freihof, although she hadn’t said anything about faking her own death. And finally mentioned that the reason she’d needed to work three jobs was because she was being paid under the table and therefore much less.
Ren had been forced to keep his questions more neutral than he’d wanted.
“You really felt like you couldn’t get a regular job? That your ex had the means to find you no matter where you were?”
She glanced away. “Maybe not himself. But Damien has uncanny skills when it comes to getting people to help him. He just has this way of making people believe that he can meet their needs. So I wouldn’t doubt for a second that he had someone checking the grid for me every once in a while.”
Ren was just beginning to understand the pressure and isolation Natalie had been under for the past six years. He had no doubt she was innocent and that they’d be moving on to the media blitz plan in two more days. The only question now was if she had information locked away inside that could help them.
Before she learned the truth and stopped talking to him altogether.
“What did your ex do for a living?”
She almost seemed to shrink in on herself. “You’re going to think I’m an idiot, and I was. All I knew when I got married was that he was a businessman, and had enough money for us to lead very pampered—and isolated—lives. Enough money to pay people to say and do whatever he wanted.”
“You never asked later?” Ren realized he probably knew more about Freihof’s “business” actions than Natalie ever did. That he’d made his fortune through blackmail, weapon sales and trading of information.
“I learned after he dislocated my shoulder to never ask him anything that might be considered too inquisitive. After he broke my fingers, I learned never to ask any questions at all.”
What? Ren walked over to where she was still painting and took the brush from her hands. “He broke your fingers?”
She shrugged, still not looking at him. “It’s not a particularly exciting story. He wanted me to be perfect. Was obsessed with me being perfect.” She all but spat the word. “Whenever I did something that wasn’t, there was a punishment. Sometimes my hair wasn’t perfectly styled and that garnered a slap.”
She began shaking, swallowing hard. “One day after he saw my latest finished painting and disapproved, I asked whether perhaps someone else would like it even though he didn’t. He broke every finger on my right hand.” She let out a shuddery breath as Ren pulled her into his chest. “I couldn’t hold a paintbrush for months. As a matter of fact, I haven’t held one since, haven’t painted, until now.”
He’d lifted her fingers to his lips so he could kiss them. Then took her back to bed. Just to hold her and let her rest, knowing that when she woke up it would be time to tell her the truth. To explain what was really going on and how much they needed her help. Doubly now. One, because she was their best shot, and because of what Homeland Security would do to her when they came barging in here in less than three days.
Hell if Ren was going to allow Natalie to be taken into custody as a hostile informant, suspected of aiding a terrorist. Especially since Ren had been the one to so adamantly argue that to be true three days ago. His judgments about her were what had landed her on Homeland’s watch list in the first place.
Now he knew there was absolutely no way. Even if Freihof hadn’t done all the terrible things he’d done to her, there was still no way she would assist him. Ren was confident she would be willing to help them make sure Freihof was arrested. Certainly that was in her best interests, but also because it was the right thing to do.
Natalie would need protection after the
y were out of the wilderness, and not just from Freihof. Obviously someone knew she was alive, or suspected it, based on the deaths of the Baxters. Some enemy of Freihof’s, hoping to take her and use her to find him? They’d also put a protective detail on her friend Olivia, just in case someone came after her.
When Natalie woke from her nap, which was plagued by bad dreams, Ren still couldn’t find it in him to tell her right away who he was.
Because he knew it would be over. That the sexy, generous woman who’d spent last night and most of today in his arms—hell, even the courageous, friendly woman who’d spent the last two days talking with him—would be gone.
But he had to tell her. He had less than thirty-six hours to get her to understand and ensure her cooperation with the media blitz plan.
He wanted to show her somewhere first. A low overhang that looked out over the river. He could admit it was because he was hoping she would paint it one day.
Not that he’d ever be there to see a finished piece in the future. But he was hoping some part of this place might inspire her to continue painting. Ren and the rest of Omega were going to make sure Freihof never hurt her again.
Broke her damn fingers. No doubt specifically so she couldn’t paint, to steal away the obvious joy she derived from it.
That bastard was going down. Ren was willing to pay whatever price it took to make that happen. Had been willing to for a long time.
But he’d never dreamed the price would be the special connection blossoming between him and Natalie. Had never dreamed that would even exist and be so precious to him.
“Ren, where are you taking me?” The exasperation was clear in her voice. He’d made her stop painting, even though she was so close to being finished, and was walking her to the overhang. To share the breathtaking view.
As if that was going to make what he had to tell her—how he’d deceived her—all okay.
“A view. You have to see it for yourself. I think it’s right up there with your beach house view.”
“You know I don’t like snow,” she grumbled, but kept walking.
She still hadn’t told him why, and he hadn’t pushed. He had no doubt it was horrific. “It’ll be worth it.”
The smile she gave him said she absolutely trusted him to be telling the truth. And his gut clenched even as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close.
Beautiful view first, relationship-ending talk after.
He knew the moment she saw it. “Oh, my gosh, Ren!” She hurried up to the edge, looking down over the river just ten feet or so beneath them from here. Most of the edges were frozen but the middle still flowed, giving the entire area a surreal, unearthly look.
“I was hoping you might paint it someday.”
She grinned back at him over her shoulder. “Are you kidding? Absolutely. I wish I could paint it right now!”
“I know it’s snow, and how much you hate that, but I thought the beauty of it all could trump that.”
She spun around to face him. “It does. More than, it...” Her words trailed off as blood drained from her face at something behind him. “Ren, it’s a...”
He spun and found a mountain lion just a dozen yards behind them. A huge one. Maybe close to eight or nine feet long. He knew these big cats didn’t hibernate and they normally weren’t aggressive toward humans. Only under extenuating circumstances like protecting young or...
Then Ren saw it. The animal’s slight limp in the back leg as it took a step forward.
He immediately pushed Natalie behind him. “Mountain lion. It’s injured or it normally wouldn’t be anywhere near us.” Ren unzipped his jacket and opened it.
“We need to make ourselves look as big as possible.” He wished like hell he had his Glock. He wouldn’t have shot the cat unless he absolutely had to, but even firing above his head would probably scare him off.
Natalie was opening her jacket and standing beside him.
“Peaches, get back behind me.”
“No. If being big is what will scare him off, two of us looking as big as possible has to be better.”
She was right but he didn’t like it. He began yelling loudly and clapping his hands, which also should’ve scared the animal away. It was definitely not behaving in a normal way. Ren began shifting Natalie slowly toward the side, providing more distance from the cat, yelling the whole time. If they could make it to the set of trees near the edge, Ren could at least use a branch as a weapon if the mountain lion attacked.
When it attacked. If it was going to flee it would’ve already done so.
He had to turn to use both hands to break off a branch and that was when the giant cat pounced. Natalie let out a terrified scream as he pushed her to the side.
Ren ripped the branch the rest of the way off as the cat landed on him, the force knocking him to the ground. He swung as best he could from the side, but couldn’t get much momentum. He felt his jacket and skin rip from the mountain lion’s claws.
And then another branch hit it from the side. Natalie, screaming like a banshee, struck the cat as hard as she could. The animal jumped closer to the ledge, dragging Ren with him when its claw got caught in the fabric of his thick coat.
Ren felt the ground beneath him and the cat begin to give way. Natalie was rushing forward to hit the cat again.
“Natalie, no! The ledge is breaking!” Her weight would definitely cause it to fall.
Her eyes were huge as she froze, but it was too late. With a loud crack, the ledge broke away, sending him and the cat into the river ten feet below. The mountain lion jumped away, ripping more of Ren’s skin.
Natalie screaming his name from ten feet above was the last thing Ren heard as the icy water of the river sucked him under.
Chapter Fourteen
Natalie screamed Ren’s name as he fell from out of her sight and she heard a splash below. She turned and ran as fast as she could to a place where she could slide down to the riverbank, praying the whole time that he was okay and she’d be able to find him.
At the bottom she saw the cat running in the opposite direction, thank God, limping more severely.
“Ren!” she screamed again, looking for him in the sea of white. His head popped up out of the water just a few yards away.
“Oh, my God, Ren!”
Natalie grabbed a branch and skimmed across the edge of the river until she got to a large flat rock that cut into the water, that would put her within just a few feet of him. She wasted no time crawling out on her belly, careful to keep her balance. If she fell in the water, they would both die out here. There’d be no way they’d be able to get back to the cabin.
As she got to the edge she could see Ren’s green eyes looking back at her, conscious but in agony as he swam toward her, cold making him sloppy. She threw the branch out to him. He grabbed it as best he could and she pulled him in.
She hooked her arms under his armpits and pulled, using gravity and her own weight to help hoist them backward, and was finally able to drag him out of the water and on top of her. Violent shudders racked his frame and she had to wrap her arms and legs around him to keep him from falling off the rock.
They subsided a little and she got herself out from under him, ignoring the discomfort of her now-wet clothes turning icy. It had to be much worse for Ren.
And if she didn’t get him to the cabin and warmed up quickly, his body was going to go into shock. Then shut down.
Reaching under his arms again, she hefted him until they both were on the shoreline.
“Ren!” She rolled him over onto his back and tapped his face with both hands when his eyes began to close. “Come on, solider. I need your help to get you to the cabin.”
“Na-Natalie...”
She kissed him hard on the lips. “Yeah, it’s me. Now we’ve got to move before you lose all control of your body.” His eyes st
arted to close again. “Ren! I need you to stay awake. We’ve got to get you on your feet.”
Those green eyes looked back at her, glazed with pain.
“I know it hurts,” she whispered. Oh, how she knew. “I know everything hurts. Damien used to leave me out in the snow naked, as punishment.”
She knew exactly how god-awful the burn was from freezing. Like your whole body had been lit on fire with no chance for relief.
“Ba-bastard.”
“He was. Trust me, he was. But I survived and you’re going to also. Now I need you to stand.”
He nodded jerkily, and she got him to a sitting position. She wrapped one of his icy wet arms around her shoulders, her other arm gripping his waist.
“On three, here we go. One, two, three!”
She used every bit of strength she had, pushing through her legs to get them off the ground. Ren groaned but made it to his feet. She immediately began walking them in the direction of the cabin.
A half mile never seemed so far away.
Ren’s face was colorless after just a few steps and she realized he was bleeding from where the mountain lion had mauled him.
They walked slowly but steadily toward the cabin, Ren leaning heavier on her with every step. He wasn’t shivering anymore, which she knew was a very bad sign. Natalie was using all the strength she had just to propel them in the correct direction.
“Come on, solider,” she said through choppy breaths. “Left. Right. Don’t you give up. I’m not leaving you here, so if you stop, we’re both going to die. Keep going.”
She had to give it to him; he moved one foot in front of the other for a long time. But about halfway there she felt him collapse. It was all she could do to keep him from falling face-first into the snow.
“Ren!” She crouched down and tapped his face lightly again and again but he didn’t move. She couldn’t even tell if he was breathing. Panicking, she ripped off her gloves and held her fingers to his icy neck, nearly sobbing with relief when she felt his pulse, thready but there.