by C. S. Moore
Are they serious? She thought. The hundreds of spectators began to make sounds of protest. Apparently unconvinced. The Ancients were unmoved by their discord. The smallest Ancient began to speak again.
“Brothers and Sisters, this is the best choice for her. If you dispute the truth of the statement, just look at her.” He turned to face her. “She is in a beautiful dress of purity. Perhaps that is why you do not see what is really before you, but it is only an illusion. Look well and you can see the poison underneath.” The crowd was silenced by this as they studied her and saw the darkness of the living bruise swirling beneath the transparent fabric of her dress. So that’s why they put me in this? She wondered and spoke up quickly.
“The very same thing could be said about you. Your light is brighter than the sun, but so is an atomic bomb. All of you could be nothing more than a clever illusion, but I have faith that you are not, and I have faith that I will make it through this. My spirit is alive and that is no illusion.” Amanda said. He paused and glided quickly back to the group like a dog summoned back to its master. As he brushed the tallest softly on the cheek the voice rang out in anger, he advanced toward her immobile frame.
“How dare you compare our light to your darkness, it is the light from above. We are conduits of God, we harbor your powers. Without our strength Healers wouldn’t be.” He turned back to the crowd and spoke with certainty. “If she loses the fight within, she won’t merely die. She will be no more; she will have joined the ranks of so many other lost souls. And we cannot let that happen. Will you stand idly by as her spirit fades, when there is a way to save her?”
Save me? You’re going to murder me. She thought, but she knew that the crowd of Healers had turned as mumbles of ‘save her’ reached her ears. She knew that she was beyond the point of reasoning, she would die.
But Kaedin doesn’t have to fade. These are the strongest among us, they can save her. She thought and spoke as clearly as she could manage.
“I don’t need to be saved, but there is one that does need saving. The Scar that I came out of, will you find it? Please. The demon that did this to me is so strong, and there is this little spirit that needs to be…” The Ancient cut her off.
“We do not seek Scars, they open to us when the spirits inside of them are ready. It is the way it has always been, and it is the only way.” He said.
“There never is just one way, and she was ready that is why her Scar opened to me. You could find it, please just help her. I don’t care what you do to me just save her.” She realized that she was screaming at him again and tried to level off her voice. He leaned down to her, his light was so bright it nearly burned her, and whispered.
“There is only one way and it is our way.” He straightened back up and addressed the group of Healers behind him. “Take her away, we have more to discus.” Two large men came and plucked her off of the platform. One of them was her friend Cole; she had always considered him her best friend although he probably didn’t know it. She tried to avoid getting too close to anyone. She couldn’t control the instant bond that came when a Healer was taken into a Scar. But she could control her emotions in the real world. She didn’t think she deserved affection after failing almost every spirit that she had loved, so she tried to stay distant.
As the stranger and Cole carried her off, she looked up and saw tears staining Cole’s handsome face. His chiseled jaw was clenched tightly and he looked as if he were holding back sobs.
Maybe I was his best friend too. She thought.
Amanda wished she could wipe away his tears; she hated seeing them on the cheeks that usually bore happy dimples. She looked back at the Ancients and wanted to put up some sort of fight.
Maybe, if I hit him hard enough, he will turn to dust. She thought. But it was only a thought, she knew that she could never hurt anyone, even him, she only had her words.
“You evil bastard! Why won’t you save her, someone who needs your help? When you are so quick to ‘save’ me, someone who denies the need of it?” She said.
“You think it unnecessary girl, but you do need saving whether you want it or not. No unclean thing may walk among us.” He called out after her. The last thing she witnessed before the doors swung shut and blocked all sight and sound was the Ancients joining hands and addressing the arena as one.
“Do not be woeful Brothers and Sisters there is no need to say farewell, you will see her again clean and whole.” Seeing them standing together speaking of her like she was already dead and gone sent a shiver down her spine. No one objected and she wasn’t angry at the Healers. She understood why they were so easily swayed by them.
They sound so damn righteous. She thought.
Amanda hadn’t ever been to this part of the Hovel so all of the twisting and turning corridors where new to her eyes. At first the hallways looked modern with stainless steel and fluorescent lights, but as the journey progressed farther and farther from the Hovel she had known the hallways began to grow dark and aged. She had always known that the Hovel was much larger than the old factory stretched out on the Chicago street put on, but she didn’t realize the extent. By the time they had reached her holding cell the walls had become covered in stone and vegetation. And the smell of damp earth led her to believe that they were deep underground. Amanda knew that she was in shock when the first thought that occurred to her was:
Strange, I never knew the Hovel had a dungeon.
Her mind and body were so tired that she didn’t attempt to fight as they laid her on the damp rock floor. She didn’t even wonder about how much time she had left, or worry about how little time Kaedin had. Her eyelids were so heavy that they didn’t need drugs to lull her to sleep this time around. She was out before they had shut the heavy door. Her unconscious mind heard Cole’s whispered words but they were words that she wouldn’t remember.
“I won’t let this poison, or the Ancients take you from me. I will find a way to get you out of here, I promise. I can’t lose you. Not again.”
Chapter 4
Amanda didn’t know if her body was stiff from too much sleep, too little, or just lack of a bed.
Might as well be dead, since Riga mortise has already set in. She thought. As she cracked her bones back into place, she took note of her surroundings. Though it was hard to see anything in the soupy darkness, she realized that she was in an archaic holding cell. She couldn’t guess how old it was but it resembled the ones she had seen in movies that were set in King Arthur’s time.
Paging the Knights of the Round Table, damsel in distress here… Who am I kidding? There is no one to save me, or Kaedin. She thought.
She stood up and began to explore more of the cell. It was larger than any of the Hovel’s classrooms. She tilted her head up, but couldn’t tell how high the ceiling stretched.
She made her way over to the walls and ran her fingers along the moss that thrived in the cracks of the old rocks. Walking the perimeter, she counted her steps trying to estimate the size and shape of the cell-just to give her something to do while she waited. She hadn’t ever feared death. In fact, at the prospect of living as long as some healers did, it was a thing she welcomed. Yet here, with death so close, it wasn’t something that she wanted.
I’ve never been great at living anyway. Death couldn’t be any worse than life, could it? She asked herself.
She took in a deep lung full of cool-moist-air, allowing the taste of it to linger on her tongue. The flavor reminded her of the streets after rain, clean and earthy. She let the soft moss caress her fingers, it was cool and calming. A wave of shock ran through her.
How long do I have left to feel? The air on my tongue, the moss in my hands. Can you feel after death? She wondered nervously.
Healers were always so in touch with everything around them, it seemed almost alien not to feel. Her hands stopped short, having made contact with something strange attached to the walls. At her touch flakes of rust fell into her hand.
They’re chains, old one
s. Amanda moved the heavy chains with some effort. God, they’re big enough to have an anchor at the end of them. She studied the area closer; the chains had worn a canyon into the rock behind them. Her eyes followed them up the wall; she squinted into the darkness at the huge bracelets that hung open. She stared wide eyed for several moments before she understood that she was standing in front of a colossal pair of shackles. She looked down at the chain coiled at her feet and found a bracelet there too. Her muscle strained as she attempted to lift it up.
This alone weighs about sixty pounds. What on earth were they trying to lock up? She wondered looking again at the deep track worn into the grey rock. Whatever it was, it put up quite a fight. Still holding the shackle, she tried to absorb some information from it. She concentrated all of her energy onto the shackle. She felt disappointment and some anger from whatever had worn the cuffs. She attempted to see the creature behind the feelings, but her thoughts continually led her back to the Ancients in an annoying circle.
I’m too absorbed in what is happening to me to see the poor soul that shared my fate. She thought.
She didn’t know why, but she felt it was important to know who or what had been chained here. And yet, no matter how hard she tried, she failed to see anything. Anything but them.
“Damn it!” She screamed in frustration. She kicked at the wall and tumbled over in pain.
Why can’t I stop thinking of the Ancients? Even when I close my eyes I see their gaunt faces. Wait… She concentrated harder, and her mind drew a clearer picture of the Ancient that circled her thoughts. Her face was less harsh than the others. She was the same as them and yet, somehow, completely different.
She wasn’t at my trial, or whatever it was. She thought. Her jaw fell open as she realized why this Ancient’s face was in her mind while holding the shackles.
They had her locked up here! An Ancient? Why would they lock up one of their own? She thought about the anger that seeped from the tallest Ancient when she had said that his wasn’t the only way. Must have pissed someone off huh? I’m pretty good at that myself, we’re almost kindred spirits. She thought almost happily.
As she studied the new face, her mind’s still picture of the woman jumped to life. Her large hollow eyes started blinking and her hair began flying about her uneven head. A smile stretched across the unfamiliar face as she beckoned Amanda to her with a long grotesque finger. She was surprised that her feet moved in longing towards the imagined apparition. The scene dissolved as she shook her head back and forth, which shot pain up and down her legs and brought the familiar stars to her eyes.
What the hell? Why did I want to go to her? They must have a way of fogging people’s judgment. Locked up or not she is still an Ancient. I would never trust one of them, they have no emotion. If they really cared, they would already be searching for Kaedin, not willing to let her suffer. No, the Ancients care about one thing, and that is order. As she thought these last words the smile came back into her mind, it seemed free and a bit crazed. Nothing orderly about it.
Maybe not all of them, maybe not. She thought. Amanda was so deep in thought that she barely felt Madgie’s presence enter the room, but it was there.
“Hello Madgie.” She said quietly. Madgie was at her side in one fluid motion clasping a nervous hand over her mouth.
“Be quiet child, and listen.” Madgie quickly glanced back in the direction she entered and began to speak.
“S-B you must do what I say if you are going to live past the next few minutes. Do you understand?” Amanda tried to speak, but Madgie’s hand was too tight over her mouth, so she just nodded her head slowly.
“You will follow me as far as I can take you and remain absolutely silent. Do not draw attention to yourself in any way. I am going to try to get you out of the Hovel. I tried to talk to the Ancients, give you more time. A fighting chance, but they just won’t see reason. They don’t understand you so you must be destroyed. Once you leave here, there is only one that can help you. If you have taken the time to feel this room, then you know who I mean. You must find her, the one that shared you cell.” Amanda’s eyes widened in surprise, and she took Madgie’s hand from her mouth.
“Yes I saw her, but she’s an Ancient. An Ancient Madgie! And you want me to seek her out?” Madgie spoke again quickly.
“Yes, and you must. The Ancients will hunt you, and find you, and kill you. She stands alone as the only being to escape their clutches. If you find her, she will be able to protect you from them.” Amanda cocked a brow questioningly.
“And why would she want to help me Madgie?” She asked. Madgie’s lips curved into an uneven smile.
“She would do just about anything to defy the Ancients. If they want you dead, then it will be her life’s mission to preserve you, for nothing more than the simple pleasure of annoying them.” Madgie replied. Amanda smiled back at her.
“Will she be able to help me find Kaedin?” She asked eagerly. Madgie shrugged her shoulders.
“Like I said I don’t know if it is even possible to find a Scar S-B; but if it is possible, she will be able to find it. She is the most powerful being ever to walk the earth. The Ancients have outlawed the mere utterance of her name, Shiphra. Her existence is a blot on their ‘all powerful’ personas. If she is strong enough to elude them, then she is stronger than all of the Ancients combined. All who were alive when Shiphra escaped know this, and it kills them.” Madgie said.
“She is an Ancient, isn’t she? I mean, I always thought that they were kind of a package deal. They even have the same voice.” She said.
“Yes she is, the Ancients you saw today would like me to say that she ‘was’ an Ancient, but I suppose that isn’t true. As long as she is living, she is an Ancient. It isn’t a title one can shed. How well did you fare, trying to rid yourself the stamp of ‘Healer’?” Amanda didn’t like thinking about that time in her life, and Madgie knew it so she continued quickly.
“No these aren’t things we choose, we just are what we are. Oh and that was the leader of the Ancients, Baal’s voice you heard. They all have their own voices but, over the years, I have heard their individual ones less and less.” Madgie said.
She was going to ask why they had locked Shiphra up but realized she was wasting time with stupid questions; if they were going to make it out of here they needed to get moving.
“So what’s the plan Madgie?” She asked.
“First put these on.” Madgie said throwing her a bundle of clothes. She unraveled them and found a pair of sneakers, jeans, a sweater, and a long cloak. The old women started to pace the room, her every movement silent as the desert.
“Well getting out of here has no plan. Just follow me, try to be invisible, and pray for luck; but after you get out that’s a different story. As soon as you leave the Hovel you must run, travel as far away from here as you can. You must move quickly while taking the time to cover your tracks. Try not to leave a wake of emotion.” She said. Amanda shucked off the gown and slipped into the jeans.
“The less you think, the less you feel the better. They will be like blood hounds on a scent and they are proud. You will make a fool of them so they will want to drag you back here, for everyone to see. All of this withstanding, you can’t be afraid. Fear is the simplest emotion to sense, even animals can do it.” She said.
“As you run I want you to think nothing of your trial or familiar faces. Try to think about Shiphra as much as possible. Meditate on the face that you saw. And if she wants you to you will find her.” Amanda picked up the light grey cloak and quickly threw it on. Madgie glanced back at the only door in the cell once more and spoke.
“We must leave. Now!” She turned on her heel and ran for the door with Amanda quickly following after her.
Chapter 5
Madgie opened the large wooden door of the cell with caution; glancing back and forth she swept quickly out of the holding place. Amanda stepped out slowly with her eyes shut tight, expecting to be tackled by a guard. When she w
asn’t immediately brought down, she opened her eyes and saw that she and Madgie were alone in the hallway. She let out a breath of relief and closed the door behind her as quietly as she could manage. An audible click hung mockingly in the air and she and Madgie both froze in place.
After a few moments of stillness, Madgie didn’t sense any change in the area, they continued on. She knew that Madgie had told her to think as little as possible about her situation, but she couldn’t stop her mind from reeling.
Why in the world did they have no one guarding my cell? Madgie just walked through the door and plucked me out. Of course to the Ancients, and I suppose most Healers, their word is law. I guess they never foresaw someone defying their wishes. The Ancients seem to be ridiculously oblivious to the ways of man. Do they not know that we all have the option of saying no? She wondered.
The cloak hid her well only the tips of her fingers could be glimpsed at the bottom of the long sleeves. She wished that she could pull it up and look at herself in the light of the hallway. Inside of her the war still raged. She was getting so used to the pain that it was hard for her to tell if there had been an improvement or not. A question she continually asked herself.
Maybe the answer is on my skin. She thought. It took all of the self control she possessed, which was little, not to draw back the dangling sleeve and study her veins. Madgie rounded the corner and didn’t hesitate even for a moment so Amanda was taken back when there where Healers scattered throughout the hallway in front of them. She almost stopped in her tracks but Madgie’s confidence was contagious and she managed to continue their doomed-to-fail trek. Luckily the people in the hallway were too caught up in conversation to be bothered by the passers by.
“I can’t believe the shape she was in, did you see those black marks all over her poor body. I tried to feel her signature but she was in too much pain. I couldn’t get a lock on her spirit. I can’t even imagine how she was feeling in the arena; I mean you have to be in a lot of pain in order to project it from you. I could feel her pain, burning me.” Said an older looking gentleman that she had never met before. The plump lady standing next to him puffed up.