“They’re about Nate. Other than that, I don’t know what she remembers.”
“So how do we wake her up?”
Kray finally peers up at me. “We can’t.”
When Nautia finally settles down, lying still and silent, her eyes teeter back and forth behind her lids like normal. Kray stays for a bit, but gets up to leave when the dinner bell rings.
“She has to sleep through it,” he says.
“I’m going to stay,” I answer, forgetting to block my thoughts. Kray’s eyebrows raise, and I assume he heard me—the reasons for my staying with her. I wasn’t careful enough.
“Permission to speak freely, sir?” he asks, crossing his arms.
“Permission granted.”
He glances toward Nautia, then back to me. “She’s sensitive to emotion, you know. Not only anger, frustration, and fear, but joy and love as well. I’ve known her for two years, and I’ve seen it all. She’ll break, Riley, if you get too close in either direction.”
The fact he just called me “Riley” doesn’t escape me. Speaking freely, indeed. “Well, you seem to do an okay job with having a relationship with her.”
Kray huffs. “If I don’t piss her off, sure. But I don’t have romantic feelings for her. With my ability, it’s kind of hard to connect to someone on that level. Honestly, that’s why we’re friends.” He snickers. “Because we’re both emotionally unavailable.”
I feel my back straighten at his words, not liking the insinuation. “She’s in my charge. Her life, like all of yours, is in my hands,” I say, throwing out my captain card because this open talk time is over.
“Right,” he says. “It’s a good idea to keep it that way, sir.”
When I open my eyes, I half expect to be inside a water bubble again. I’m not, and I wonder why. Then I see I’m not alone.
Riley is slouched in the chair beside me, legs sprawled out in front of him and his head slumped forward. He lets out a soft snore and shifts before he relaxes again. I stare at the way his eyelashes flutter. Thick, long lashes accentuate high cheek bones and dark eyebrows. I shift my gaze down his nose to slightly separated pink lips. Dark stubble pokes from his jaw, and I imagine what it would feel like to run my fingertips over it. To have him lean into my touch.
I grin at the thought that maybe he’d fallen asleep watching over me. It also crosses my mind that he didn’t do this with Britta when she’d had a concussion, and this is the second time he’s stayed with me. I’m pretty sure this isn’t part of his leadership contract.
Butterfly wings stir in my stomach, but quickly die out as I consider the possibility that he’s here to babysit me. To make sure I don’t attempt to kill the crew because my pride skyrocketed to the I-can-tame-tornados levels. How could I have been so stupid?
I glance toward the window on the other side of my bed. It’s nightfall though, so I have no clue how many days I was passed out for. I do know, however, I’m still on board the ship, which means the twister didn’t take her under after I hit the deck. Maybe after I blacked out the barometric pressure changed and the air could no longer support the funnel. I have no other explanation.
Obviously, I haven’t been released to go back to my bunk, but I don’t want to be here when Captain Barton wakes up either. Yeah, it’s “Captain Barton” again. Facing him after what I pulled isn’t something I’m looking forward to.
He took me out to help me learn control, and what did I do? Completely lost it…again. Third time’s a charm, right? If I were him, I’d take me back to Brighton immediately. With me on board, this mission is doomed. Hell, at this rate, we won’t even make it to our station.
It’s confirmed: he’s definitely here to babysit me.
Raindrops hit my face, forcing me to look up. Sure enough, my mental pity party has created a small cloud above my head, and now it’s sprinkling. If I don’t pull myself together, this drizzle will only get heavier.
I sit up and raise my hand to dissolve the cloud. Nothing happens. That’s typical of this sort of thing. Clearly, it’s tied to my emotions and not to my willpower at the moment. My only hope is to control my thoughts, which in turn will change my emotions, and try again.
Beside me, Riley wipes a palm down his face. A water droplet hangs from one of his earlobes. His eyes flutter open, and I know I’m stuck. He’s seen me, so a conversation about my unmanageable tendencies isn’t far away. Rain splatters against his hair and runs down his forehead. He peers up to the ceiling and smirks.
Wait. Smirks?
“I guess that’s better than what was in my dream,” he says, then he shifts his hazel stare to me. “How do you feel?”
The theme song to The Twilight Zone plays in my mind. Riley’s playfulness makes no sense.
I point upward. “That not a big enough clue?”
He chuckles. “It’s a clue to something, but I have no idea what.”
“It means—” I pause, contemplating if I should tell him. “It means I’m not happy.”
Crap.
As soon as I say it, I avert my gaze to the scratchy blanket over me. I just opened myself up to him, and suddenly I feel naked. Admitting my feelings to Kray is one thing. Admitting them to Captain Barton is another.
He leans forward, his elbows on his knees. “Why aren’t you happy, Nautia?”
I heave a sigh. Focus my concentration at the wall in front of me instead of on him. “Because I messed up. Because every time I think I might have a handle on this thing, something happens that makes it all go to shit. I’ve almost killed so many people all because…I don’t know.” I peek over at him, and then everything pours out. “I don’t know why I don’t remember stuff. I don’t know why I can’t control this anymore when apparently I used to. I don’t know why my brother is dead. And I don’t know why I keep having nightmares about his death as if I were actually there. It’s like I don’t even know who I am!”
I fight the sob burning in my throat. If I let it out, the drizzle might morph into a full-blown storm, and I’m already shaky. As it stands, I’m surprised it’s not thundering and lightning in here.
I brush my fingers through my hair to comb out the water. Riley’s gaze sweeps over the bare skin I leave behind as I pull it over one shoulder. When I face him, his eyes lock onto mine. A soft smile plays on his lips, and I can’t figure out what I said that would make him smile.
“What?” I say, shrugging a shoulder.
He points his index finger above my head. “Look up there.”
I do as he says. The cloud is gone.
“H-how?” I stutter. “It doesn’t work that way. I broke down. It should be freaking hailing in here.”
“Got me,” he answers, moving to sit at the edge of my bed. He’s close enough that I can smell the pine scent of his aftershave. “But maybe”—golden irises lift to meet mine—“letting your emotions out is what will break down that wall inside your head.”
The wall. Right. “And once it’s gone, then what?”
“You get your memories, your control back.”
“What? How do you know? Do you know?”
Riley brushes a lock of hair away from my face, but leaves his fingers against my cheek. Warmth flows onto my skin, and I know when he lets go, it’ll remain. “No. But what could it hurt to test my theory?”
“Everyone. Everything,” I whisper.
He shakes his head. “I won’t let that happen. I’ll keep you safe, Nautia.”
I bite my lip, loving his words, his promise of protection. But… “But am I safe from myself?”
After Riley walked me to my bunk, I stayed awake for the rest of the night, too scared to go back to sleep and relive another nightmare. Instead, I thought about Riley’s eyes and how his touch had sent electricity zipping under my skin. I was right; even now I can feel where his fingers had lingered on my face. To be honest, I didn
’t want to leave the infirmary because that meant leaving him. He said I needed rest before tomorrow’s training and promised that for our private session tonight, all we’ll do is talk.
And talking with Riley? I don’t know how I feel about that.
With Kray, it’s stupid and pointless since he can read my thoughts anyway. Only the ones I keep behind the wall are hidden from him, and those don’t matter, because I can’t access them either.
But Riley is different. Good different, I think. Except he’s too close to the Navy, the people keeping secrets. How can I trust him? Sure, Kray read his mind, but even Kray says that’s not foolproof. Riley’s “superpower” is super-intelligence, after all.
On the flip side, though, I can’t deny what happened in the infirmary when I spilled my guts on Riley’s lap. The storm cloud should have gone nuts when I broke down, like it does with Kray and Cara. Instead, it dissipated. Just like that.
I’m still pondering this when Kray bursts through my door. I’ve been so cocooned within my thoughts I’d forgotten to turn the lock. Now I’ll have to pay.
“It’s four thirty in the morning, Kray,” I point out, nodding toward the alarm clock.
“Yeah, and we have to talk before we get our asses handed to us by your boyfriend at training today.”
“Whatever,” I say, waving my hand to dismiss his comment about Riley. “What do we have to discuss in the middle of the night?”
Kray plops down on the foot of my bed and lays his head in my lap. Gray eyes peer up at me, and I find myself wondering if the color somehow puts people into trances so he can more easily access their minds.
“Nope,” he answers my thought. “But that would be cool, seeing as how there are parts of yours I’d love to chip away at.”
I stop myself from rolling my eyes. “Repeat: what do you want?”
“We’ve been here for ten days, and you’ve spent half of them passed out with Captain Barton sitting by your bedside.”
“Half of ten is five, not four. Try again.”
“You’re a bitch,” he says, patting my cheek.
“So?” I ask, ignoring the name-calling and going back in time twelve seconds to refer to his first comment.
He follows me. “So…you don’t think that’s a conflict of interest?”
“What interest?”
“Your reason for being a part of this mission—figuring out what happened to Nate.”
“I’ve thought a lot about that actually, Mr. Mind Reader. You know the saying ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,’ right?”
Kray laughs. Wipes a fake tear from his face. “Oh that’s hilarious, Nautia. You and Riley Barton absolutely fall into the enemy category. What the hell was I thinking?” He cracks up again, but I’m not amused. When he’s finished, he adds, “I’ve been in both of your heads, you know.”
I groan, knowing I have to come clean. I was a complete idiot for even flirting with the idea that I could hide from Kray my attraction to Riley. “I trust him, okay? I think he might be able to help.”
“You trust a Navy captain?” Kray repeats, scratching his head. “Navy, Nautia.”
“You said it yourself, Kray. He doesn’t know anything. He’s just as in the dark as you and I.”
Kray sits up and twists to face me. “Do you know what his special ability is, Nautia? Has he told you?”
“As a matter of fact, yes he did,” I say more smugly than necessary.
“Someone with that level of intelligence could easily block me out. Even insert fake thoughts to throw me off. That’s possible, you know.”
I throw my arms out to the sides. “Dude! You’re paranoid.”
“I’m cautious. Something you’re not right now.” Damn. He’s serious.
“I know what I’m doing,” I insist.
“Yeah? How?”
“What do you mean ‘how’?”
“How do you know, Nautia? A gut feeling?”
I cross my arms and give him a stare-down. “Sort of.”
Kray focuses on me. In less than a minute he’ll have what he’s searching for. As soon as he finds it, he nods. “You think the water is protecting you. That it trusts Barton.”
I give in. “I have no other explanation for what’s happened, Kray. The way the bubble behaved before it accepted Barton, and then after? And last night with the storm cloud … I don’t know what else to think.”
Kray lies silent for a few moments, peering up at me. “Have you considered that maybe the water is acting because of how you feel, instead of the other way around?”
“Like it trusts because I trust? Feeding off my emotions?”
“Something like that, yeah.”
I lean back against the wall. “It’s possible, I guess, but why now? Why not two years ago? Look, either way, we need someone on the inside if we’re going to be able to crack into Navy security. Neither of us are computer geeks. We don’t know what we’re doing, and Riley could be useful.”
“Or not useful and kill us,” he mumbles.
“You’ve been watching too many conspiracy movies.”
“And you’ve been watching too many Reese Witherspoon romance movies, so that makes us even.”
“Uh, that’s so not even. Besides, Barton’s trying to help me control my abilities,” I say, yanking us back on track before he starts quoting Sweet Home Alabama like he did the last time he brought up Reese. And his female impersonations? Suck. “I’ve done stuff with him I never thought possible.”
Kray’s brows shoot up. “We’re going there?”
“OMG, Kray. Don’t even.”
He bypasses the sexual reference, thank God. “Give yourself some credit. That stuff you’re doing with him is still you, Nautia. Not Riley. You’re amazing…at least as long as you’re in control. When you lost it last night, Gibson had to save our asses.”
“Gibson?” I ask, confused. “What did he do?”
Kray grins. “Levitated it. It was crazy wicked.”
“He levitated a waterspout?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Wow. That’s impressive.”
“Yeah. You should thank him.”
“I will.” I sit back up and sigh. “Can you at least give Barton a shot? I’ll be careful about what I share, I promise. He’ll get information only on a NTK basis, and you have my permission to keep reading his mind.”
“The last part won’t be happening.”
“Why not?”
“Because he’s learned how to block me out.” Kray shrugs. “It was only a matter of time.”
“See?” I say, grinning. “We need him now more than ever.”
Kray’s eyebrow quirks in question.
“Because now there’s no way you can access system passwords from his brain, even if he does think about them,” I answer.
Kray glares at me with that expression he gets when I’ve just schooled him. I love these moments. They’re better than chocolate.
“Fine,” he relents. “But I have some ground rules.”
“What? No way.”
“Number one,” he goes on, ignoring me, “no more passing out. Especially after you create rogue tornados.”
“I can live with that one.”
“Number two: keep your relationship with Barton professional.”
“Um, no. You have no right to impose that rule.”
“Safety reasons, deary,” he says, and I know he’s referring to me almost killing my ex. “We kind of need the captain if we’re going to succeed at this mission.”
“Number three?” I ask, purposely not agreeing to number two.
“Find out what he’s hiding.”
“Excuse me?”
“Barton is hiding something, and I—we—need to know what that is.”
I squint at him, con
fused. “How do you know he’s hiding something?”
Kray sighs. “Because while you were passed out, he wasn’t blocking his thoughts as well as he should have been. I only caught the tail end before you started to convulse, but he knows something and he’s not sharing.”
I hold his gaze, trying to determine if he’s being paranoid, or if he truly believes this about Riley. Five seconds later, Kray has yet to even blink, telling me it’s the latter. “I’ll see what I can do. Happy?”
“Do or do not. There is no try,” he says, quoting Yoda before he cracks a smile.
I point a finger at him, then back at myself. “Remind me: how are we friends?”
He does a one-eighty and peers over his shoulder. “Because you like my ass.”
I nod. “True. Especially when someone’s handing it to you.” I wink. “Speaking of, how’re your afternoon sessions with Britta going?” I tease, knowing full well how they’re going because, well, it’s Britta.
“Like I want to shove all of her fucking pronunciations up her ass and watch her get eaten by a shark.”
“That well, huh?”
“I’m actually looking forward to squashing her into the mat today. No more pointers.”
Then right on cue, my alarm clock goes off. I slap it immediately and glance at Kray.
“If Riley doesn’t squash us first,” I say, sliding off my bed.
“Oh. So, it’s Riley now, is it?” He sings Riley’s name.
I slug him playfully in the stomach, but I feel a grin creep across my face. “Shut up.”
One of the things I like about Nautia is her ability to jump back into the game as if she’d never left. She missed two days again this time, but she pushes herself through the rigorous morning workout without complaint. Drenched in sweat and panting when we finish, she hangs her head over the side of the railing. Beside her, Britta does the same, except Britta is puking her guts out.
“Here,” Nautia says, holding out a freshly formed ball of water. “You’ll feel better.”
Britta looks at her like she doesn’t want to take the offering and longs for it at the same time. Finally, she relents. “Thanks.”
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