This mystery of a girl came onto this ship insecure and broken, and tomorrow, when we paddle onto the beach at Wonsan, she’ll be the opposite. She’s determined, and I love it. Hell, I might love everything about her.
I kiss her shoulder, my lips lingering as the logistics of tomorrow’s mission replays in my mind. Every aspect, each move I analyze again and again. Start to finish, because I don’t want to lose a single crew member.
My thoughts stray to Cara, to how badly I want to take her out. One shot in the middle of the forehead. I wouldn’t even have to be that close to make the shot. But Cara isn’t part of the objective. I have my orders, and Cara might not even be in North Korea right now. What I know is I won’t hesitate if I get the chance. Cara tried to destroy Nautia, and I’d jump at the opportunity to destroy her.
Nautia’s body shifts, bringing me back to her. She swivels to face me and twists her hair over her shoulder. Ocean blue eyes sparkle in the moonlight from the window.
“Hey you,” she says softly, a tiny smile drawing me to those pink lips. “You’re up early.”
“Up implies there was a down. I’m still awake.”
“From the moans you made, I figured I’d done enough to make you pass out,” she teases, then playfully bites her lower lip because she knows what it does to me.
Yep, that little action has me hard in three seconds.
“I guess you’ll just have to try again,” I say, pushing her onto her back.
She giggles as I prowl over her. “Oh. Looks like I’ll have to up my game,” she murmurs. Her voice is sultry and as sexy as hell.
“From under me?”
“I’m creative.”
Brazen eyes peer up at me, and she arches her back to let me know her breasts want my attention. A quick suckle on her lips and I oblige. Small pleasurable moans pour out of her, and she lies back with a tiny grin on her beautiful face. God, I’ve never loved pleasing a woman this much.
She lifts her naked hips to meet mine, thrusting against me so that my head rubs over her. Soft hair tickling my skin deepens my arousal, and if I didn’t care so much about this girl, I’d just slip inside. But I want her so worked up, so fucking wet, she’s begging for me.
Her nipples jut out to meet my tongue like they’ve been waiting. I circle each before gently tugging on one with my teeth. I glance at her to check if she’s enjoying the bit of pressure, and judging by the way her mouth forms a breathless “O” and the sound that accompanies it, I’d say she does.
Nautia’s body resonates desire, and she’s allowing herself the freedom she’d been denied before. She’s letting it go now. Tension, worry, stress, hot-as-fuck sexual need—they all pour out of her in a controlled stream of energy.
And the sea outside remains calm.
I slide down her, sorry to abandon her swollen breasts but ready for another taste of sweetness that’s dripping with excitement. Hooded eyes dip down to meet my gaze as Nautia settles into the mattress. One leg wraps around me, and—
I’m suddenly on my back?
Above me, Nautia chuckles, pebbled nipples grazing my chest as she lowers herself over me. “I caught the captain off his guard.” She sucks my earlobe into her mouth. “Told you I’d have to up my game.”
Damn, I think I love this woman.
I run my fingers through her hair, gently bringing her mouth to mine. “Combat training has paid off, I see.”
“Uh-huh, and I’m not through with you yet,” she says and kisses me, her tongue massaging mine like this is her first taste.
She moves her hips down over me, leaving a trail of her down my abdomen. Lower, lower, until her opening is directly over me. The little tease dips just enough that my head enters her, but then she’s off me again.
She giggles at my pained expression. “You hate not having control, don’t you?”
“Yeah, but I trust you,” I murmur. I cup her face between my palms, holding her so she understands what I’m saying. “I trust you, Nautia.”
Slowly, she nods like she knows I’m not talking about sex. I kiss her like this might be the last time I feel her lips against mine. The warmth of her skin on my skin. The taste of her on my tongue.
She sinks down, accepting me. Her mouth doesn’t leave mine. Her rhythm varies; short quick thrusts, then deep slow glides, taking the length of me inside her before sliding back up.
I grip her hips as she works, sometimes pushing her down onto me when I need to feel more of her, sometimes letting her choose how much of me she needs. I want more of my body inside the slick warmth she offers. I want to drown in her.
I feel her heartbeat quicken. She’s panting. Her kiss gets lost on my lips with her mounting pleasure. She whimpers, then moans as she speeds up. I match the pace from below her; the sound of our bodies slapping against each other mixes with our groans.
I hold her tighter, thrusting into her until we both cry out our climax. A gush of water pours from her, coating my pelvis with the pleasure I gave her. I push in deeper to feel her muscles throb like beats around me.
I finally break the kiss so she can catch her breath, but my arms remain wrapped around her so I can feel her heart thump with mine. She buries her face in my shoulder and presses a soft kiss to my neck.
“Riley,” she murmurs. The words “I love you” barely break through her lips, but I hear them more clearly than the lapping water of the incoming tide.
I comb my fingers through her hair, wishing we could lie here in the safety of each others’ arms. Like we’re not crossing into enemy waters in a few short hours. Like I have all the time in the world to tell her how I feel.
But I don’t. And now may be all I have.
“I love you,” I whisper.
Beside me, her body relaxes, and she hums quietly. I run my fingertips up her back, lulling her to sleep. Soon, her breaths even out, small puffs of air blowing onto my neck.
In this moment, I know that protecting Nautia has become my priority. My number one mission.
It’s dangerous and stupid.
It must be done.
Because Nautia has become my everything.
Today’s the real deal.
It’s not a simulation.
I stare at myself in the mirror for a full minute, and my fingers are steady as I sweep my hair up into a ponytail. It’s the first time I’ve looked at myself since the wall inside my head came crashing down. Since my memory returned.
I almost don’t recognize the eyes peering back at me. Before, they were insecure, distant, and frightened. Now, determination blazes in every darkened speck of blue. High cheekbones accentuate the resolve I see. In less than twenty-four hours, I hope to be face-to-face with Cara. This time, I’m the one who will be handling her death certificate.
After I woke up by myself in Riley’s bed this morning, I sought out Kray. We finalized our plans, working through every angle in case we get separated. I’m confident, though, because we’ve been through Riley’s plan a million times in simulation now, and he’s not one to stray from them. That bodes well for Kray and me; we know exactly what to expect.
Riley doesn’t though. A small part of me feels guilty for keeping him in the dark, but this war is mine and mine alone. I won’t put Riley in danger for my sake. If I could keep Kray out, I would. Unfortunately, the mind reader always gets his way. Ability perk.
I crack my neck to both sides, then reach for the rest of my clothing. I slip on the black bulletproof vest and secure it around the black long-sleeved shirt hugging my body. Skin-tight black pants that would remind me of leggings if the material were cotton, not this thick, waterproof, clingy shit. Military-grade black boots fit over the tapered bottoms. I pull the laces tight, then stand up to check myself out in the mirror one last time.
I’m ready.
And nothing’s going to stand in my way.
I slip the notes into the inner pocket of my vest before I open the door. Kray standing on the other side, arms crossed and waiting for me, isn’t surprising. I don’t speak as I step into the hallway and close the door behind me.
“Still set on the plan,” Kray says, reading my mind.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Oh I don’t know. The fact you’ve completely fallen for a certain Navy captain, perhaps?”
“That doesn’t change anything.”
Kray spins, beaming. “Aha! You didn’t deny it! You’re in love with the cap.”
“I didn’t say that,” I reply, pushing past him. “And I didn’t think it either.”
“After-hours slumber parties have done a real number on you, princess,” he says as he jogs behind me up the stairs.
On the top deck, I face him. “How I feel about Riley won’t matter as long as Cara’s alive. According to Haskal, she’ll stop at nothing to get ahold of me, so whatever I have with Riley is irrelevant until she’s dead. That’s the only thing I need to think about right now.”
Kray cocks his head. “And the notes in your pocket?”
I feel my shoulders fall. Then I dig out one of the two copies and hand it to him. “If things don’t go according to plan.”
“Well, my plan is to give this letter back to you and make you tell him yourself. And I don’t do plan Bs.” He still takes the note and tucks it into his vest pocket.
“Thanks, Kray,” I say, wrapping my arms around him.
“Save the sap, princess. ’Cause I ain’t saying goodbye.”
“Which makes me love you that much more.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m the most lovable person on Earth.” He kisses the top of my head. “Come on. We’re going to be late for takeoff.”
We walk in silence the rest of the way, the sun beating down on us. A warm breeze gusts up, and I breathe in the salty freshness of the ocean air. It’ll be ten hours before my lungs are filled with this kind of freedom again.
When we get to the stern, everyone else is there, standing in a semicircle with Riley in the center. His gaze floats over Britta’s head and lands on me. He holds my stare, concern glazing over his golden irises. This mission is dangerous enough without the added bonus mission he knows nothing about.
I break away, unable to look at him any longer. Afraid he’ll see through me and stop me from what I have to do. Keeping him in the dark has nothing to do with my trust in him; this is about revenge.
Kray takes the spot beside me, and we listen to Riley’s last minute directions. We must have everything memorized down to the tiniest detail, he says. Nothing we haven’t heard before, but he drills it into us one more time.
“Any questions?” When no one speaks, he nods. “All right. Everyone inside and take your seats.”
Sickles is the first to climb down the ladder and onto the miniature submarine. With one foot on a rung and the other on the roof, he motions for Britta. She descends and disappears through the circular door. One by one, the rest of the crew follows suit until it’s just Riley and me on deck.
“You were gone when I woke up,” I say, like it’s an excuse for avoiding him up here.
“I had a lot to take care of this morning. I didn’t want to wake you.”
I glance over the railing. Sickles is standing there, waiting for me. “I guess I’d better get down there.”
I swing a leg over the side, but Riley grabs my wrist. “I meant what I said last night. Whatever happens out there won’t change that.”
My first thought is that he somehow senses my side-plan, and he’s giving me permission to go through with it.
Then I remember the last thing I’d heard before I drifted off last night.
I love you, he’d said. I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right or if I’d already been asleep and dreamt the words. I’d mouthed them against his neck, just to taste how they felt on my lips, but there was no way he’d heard me. He couldn’t have. Right?
I study him for a second, trying to decipher from the look in his eye how I should respond. He doesn’t give me a chance to figure it out though. He takes my face between his palms and kisses me. Like he did last night, with reckless abandon. Like—
It’s our last.
I hold my breath, wondering if I’d ever share this with him again. Dread shoots down my throat and catches in my chest. It lodges there. Expands and almost convinces me to forget about Cara. To come back to the ship with Riley when it’s all over.
“Shit,” Sickles says from behind, breaking Riley and me apart.
I glance over my shoulder, and he’s standing there—right there. Then I notice the surface of the ocean laps against my boot instead of twenty feet below me like it should.
Sickles grins. “Must have been one helluva kiss.”
Riley gives me a worrisome onceover, ignoring the commander. “Might as well get in.”
I nod and do what he says. Riley follows me inside, and we take our seats on opposite ends in the minisub. From the seat next to mine, Kray watches in silence as I pull the seatbelt over my shoulder and click it in place. The whole time, I feel him fiddling around in my head. He’ll be up to date in thirty seconds flat.
Riley gives Sickles a thumbs-up as he closes the hatch. Darkness engulfs us for a moment before the dim overhead lights switch on.
From the outside, Sickles radios into our earpieces, “All’s clear. You are free to make your descent.”
“Copy that,” Ivan, our pilot, replies. “Take care of yourself out here.”
“I’ve got a wife and three kids, waiting for me. I have to get home to them.”
“Yeah, you’d better,” she answers.
I close my eyes as the sub begins to sink. Kray squeezes my hand. He’s still inside my head, watching the horrific nightmare replay in my mind—me inside the capsule, plunging lower and lower under water.
Metal creaks. My stomach churns, and I can’t breathe. I can’t—
“Nautia.”
Riley’s voice breaks through, and my eyes fly open, finding him instantly. A quick scan and I see water seeping through the air-tight hatch, and half an inch sits on the floor below my feet.
“Control,” Riley mouths.
I suck in a breath and hold one palm out over the water and the other toward the hatch. The leak subsides and the water retreats, leaving the floor dry.
“This is not that,” Kray whispers to me. “You’re not alone here, and Cara isn’t the puppeteer—you are.”
I rest my head on Kray’s shoulder. “Yeah. And I’m gonna keep it that way.”
The ten-hour trip hugging the western Japanese coastline is torture. The torturous part isn’t the sound of Kray’s snores, or Haskal’s knuckle-cracking, or Britta’s nervous sighs every fifteen seconds. It’s the fact that Nautia sits so far away from me.
She’s quiet. Focused inward. I want my arms wrapped around her.
“Barton,” Ivan hollers to me from the cockpit. “Japanese government. Frequency two.”
“Britta,” I say. “You’re up.”
Her hands tremble as she unbuckles herself. She wipes her palms on her vest and shuffles over to the empty seat beside Ivan. After strapping in, she glides the headphones on, but only one speaker rests against her ear. The other hangs off the back of her head.
A male voice echoes into the sub, and Britta responds in an accent that sounds native. Bad blood has existed between Korea and Japan since before the Korean War, and I’m counting on that to work in our favor; an enemy of Korea is a friend of Japan. Britta goes back and forth with the Japanese operator for ten minutes before she takes off the headphones.
“We’re clear until we enter Korean waters,” she tells me.
“Offer of assistance?”
“I declined, like we’d discussed.”
“Good.”
Japan received a half-truth, but the Koreans will get a full-blown lie. The minisub we’re in was designed to resemble a deep-sea research vessel, and the story Britta will feed them is that we’d gotten off course. I don’t expect them to buy it for long. Just until we get to the beach at Wonsan.
Britta stays in the co-pilot seat, her exhales tapering off to even breaths. She quickly moves on to biting her nails, though. I glance over at Nautia and catch her stare. She offers a small smile before looking away again. The little action guts me. In the water, she’s safe. But in Wonsan? If she weren’t so goddamn necessary for this mission, I would have made her stay on the Triton with Sickles.
I can lose her.
Silence descends over the crew. Nautia’s eyelids fall closed as she leans against Kray. Her shoulders rise and fall in a steady rhythm, and I relax a little. My crew is ready for this. We’ve trained hard, and in the last week of simulations, I’d noticed a change in the Specials; they’ve become soldiers.
Later, Britta puts her headphones back on. She answers the person speaking to her in Korean. Her face scrunches up as she acts out her part of getting off course during the alleged dive we’re on. The rehearsed story is that our radar stopped working. Our research team set out from Wonsan hours ago and the lab is sending assistance to lead us back to shore.
“Ani ani. Yeongusoneun jiwon-eul bonaegoissda,” she says, waving her hands in front of her. She pauses, listening. Then she swivels to me. “They’re contacting the lab.”
“Sickles,” I intercom in.
“Yes, sir?”
“Intercept the call and reroute it to a dead line.”
“Copy that.”
I follow our location on the radar screen. We’ll have to surface at least 500 feet out and swim the rest of the way to shore. We’re forty-five minutes from that. Adrenaline surges in me; I was built for this.
I unbuckle, stand, and clap my hands. “Listen up, everyone.”
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