Fuck.
I grabbed his foot to stop him, then lifted him and placed him on his back, one hand on his chest to hold him down while I used my other hand and teeth to try and open up the clean diaper. All the while, Max squirmed and giggled, apparently enjoying the fresh air on his bare skin.
“Max, dude,” I murmured quietly, “hold still so I can get you dressed. I’m sure the fresh air feels awesome, but it would be terribly awkward for your mom to catch us like this.”
I should have just woken up Ilsa.
I finally managed to get him diapered, although the diaper sorta looked like a little, white Christmas present wrapped by a five-year-old. I got his jammie pants back on over the top of it, though, thinking they’d help hold the loosely fastened diaper in place, at least until Ilsa woke up. When I finally had him dressed again, Max lifted his arms.
“Up?”
I wondered if that was all he could say as I lifted him and tucked him in the crook of my arm.
“Mook?” he asked.
I guess not.
But what the fuck did ‘mook’ mean?
“Mook,” he repeated, pointing towards the door.
Um…
“Mook.”
This time there was a little more urgency to his voice, so I followed his direction as best I could, carrying him into the main room of the small apartment. His eyes immediately fixated on the refrigerator.
“Mook.”
This kid had a one track mind, but then it occurred to me what he might be saying.
“Milk?” I asked in a low voice. I opened the fridge and saw a bottle inside, ready and waiting. Max became rather animated when he saw it too.
“Mook!”
“Shh…” I murmured. “Don’t wake up your mommy. She’s pretty tired.”
I grabbed the bottle, shaking it a little since I wasn’t entirely sure what was in it, sputtering a little as a couple drops leaked out of the nipple and hit me in the face. Maybe it was just milk, but I had no clue how long kids drank formula. I had handled her luscious tits enough to be pretty sure it wasn’t breast milk, at least. I held it out to Max, and he immediately went to town, sucking down loud gulps as he stared up at me, stopping once or twice to take a deep breath before going back to it.
Daylight was beginning to filter through the thin curtains, and I was able to see him more clearly. He had round, cherub cheeks and expressive blue eyes that focused on me as he drank from the bottle. He was watchful in a way that reminded me of Ilsa. He actually looked a great deal like her with the same shape to their eyes and similar pert noses. His hair lay fairly flat against his head, straight like hers, but light blond that made his thick, dark eyelashes stand out that much more
I wondered for a second what characteristics, if any, he’d picked up from his absent father.
Max eventually grew bored of studying me and turned his head and his bottle to look at the countertop I leaned against. Popping the bottle from his mouth, he pointed to a box of Cheerios.
“Eat?”
“You want some Cheerios, kid?”
He kicked his legs with a little burst of excitement. I sorta took that as a yes, and poured a few on the counter. I held a few out in my palm and, for a minute, he concentrated on grasping one in his baby fingers before shoving it in his mouth.
He did it again a few more times, and I realized it was actually kinda cool to watch. I’d not been around kids much until lately. Brannon’s sister had kids, but I didn’t spend a whole lot of time with them when they were little. My older brother had one kid, but he’d moved to California after college, and we only saw him and his wife once or twice a year.
It wasn’t until Denny and Felicity had Eoghan (why the fuck they didn’t just spell it Owen, I had no clue) that I had much interaction with someone so little. Eoghan was younger than Max by a couple months, I figured, having just turned one year old not too long ago.
As Max reached into my palm for another Cheerio, I could kinda see what Denny loved about being a dad.
With every bite he ate, Max’s eyes would look up at me and he would give me a quirky little smile. At first, he was pretty quiet, but then he started saying ‘mmmmm’ right after every piece went in his mouth. I kept handing him Cheerios, one after another, grinning more with every bite he consumed. I started making funny faces that Max must have found humorous because he began to giggle.
Maybe not the smartest move because I quickly heard movement from the couch.
“Mama!” Max squealed over my shoulder, pointing towards Ilsa who sat perched on the edge of the couch holding the blanket over her naked body.
The sun had just crested over the mountains, lighting the clouds on the horizon, and the pink glow of early sunrise had filled the room. Ilsa’s skin was radiant, like smooth porcelain. Her hair tumbled around her shoulders, and she brushed it from her wide eyes.
I’d always found her to be beautiful, even when she tried not to be, but seeing her naked in the morning light after having had another taste of her the night before made my chest tighten. My lungs constricted with a weird, aching apprehension.
We just kinda stared at each other for a moment. Max plucked Cheerios from my palm and stuck them in his mouth one by one. I honestly don’t know how long we would have remained motionless if he hadn’t finished them and turned to point again at the counter.
“More?”
His small voice seemed to shake Ilsa free from her thoughts. She gingerly rose from the couch, tucking the soft blanket around her, and headed quickly to the bedroom.
“I’m going to get dressed really quick,” she murmured more or less to herself, “and then I’ll come out and take care of him.”
“It’s okay,” I assured her. “Take your time. We’re just hanging out eating Cheerios and drinking mook.”
She stopped short and glanced over at me. “Drinking mook?”
“I gave him the bottle that was in the refrigerator. I hope that was okay.”
“Um, yeah,” she said quietly. “It was one I made up last night for him to have this morning. Sometimes when he gets up really early, it’s kind of hard to get my brain to turn on.” She studied me for a minute. “How long has he been up?”
“Maybe ten or fifteen minutes is all,” I replied.
She took a few steps towards us. “Maybe I should take him with me and change his diaper.”
“I kind of took care of that, too.”
Her mouth fell open in shock. “You changed his diaper?”
Trying to get a read on her, trying to decide if she was thankful or creeped out by the fact that I had done that, I nodded slowly.
“You were sleeping pretty soundly,” I explained, “and I wanted to let you rest. Somehow I get the feeling you’re not able to do that very often.”
She dropped her eyes to the floor, then looked back up at me, biting her lip. The tenderness in her eyes rocked me. It sort of took my breath away.
“Thank you.”
“No problem.”
She glanced at Max who was once again focused on the Cheerios in my palm. One bite after another, interrupted only by the occasional small, slobbery grin. She leaned forward to kiss his little baby cheek and smoothed his hair down.
“You stay here with Cody, baby. Mama will be right back,” she whispered. The love for her little guy shone bright in her eyes, softening her features, making me want to pull her up against me just to hold her. To feel a taste of that love from her.
With one last pensive look up at me, she quickly turned and slipped into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.
As soon as she’d left the room, I heard my cell phone ringing from behind the couch. I’d set the ringtone to play Savior by Thirty Seconds to Mars, picked for its awesome drum licks by the one and only Shanimal.
Max jumped, startled at the sound until he realized it was music. I saw my flannel shirt on the floor. My phone, which had been in the pocket last I saw, was half-covered by the soft fabric.
The display said Drew. Probably wondering where I spent the night.
“Hey,” I answered.
“Did you do her?”
“Um… good morning to you, too.”
“Is that where you are? The little waitress’ place?”
“Drew—”
“Come on,” he whined. “You were working on her car all day yesterday, so when we didn’t see you at the bar, we figured you took it to her. Fucking Justin bet me twenty bucks that you’d be home after getting shot down. Please tell me you’re still there after boning her all night.”
“Do you want me to fucking hang up on your ass?” I grumbled back.
Max suddenly looked a little alarmed by my tone, almost as though he might cry. I gave him a silly smile, swinging him just a little to distract him. It took him a second, but he relaxed and settled back against me.
It also occurred to me that dropping the F-bomb around a kid who was likely learning to talk may not be so wise.
“Dude, come on,” Drew begged. “None of us ever fuckin’ win a bet with Justin.”
Trying to keep my tone light, I spoke in kind of a sing-song voice.
“Well, maybe you should stop making bets with him.”
Max gave me a little toothy grin.
“What the fuck?” Drew gasped. “Why do you sound so weird?”
Shit.
“Um, no reason…” I tried to sound as normal as possible while still making faces to Max who wrinkled his nose and grinned back up at me.
“There’s someone there with you, isn’t there.”
“Drew—” I began.
“You are there! It’s her, isn’t it?” I heard him give a muffled shout. “Justin, you owe me twenty bucks, you motherfucker!”
“Okay, I’m gonna let you go now, Drew,” I said quickly as the bedroom door opened. Ilsa stepped out, dressed in a T-shirt and a pair of denim shorts that were all frayed around the bottom. My throat went dry at how hot she looked, her legs bare and her long hair falling soft and straight around her shoulders.
She instantly appeared a little panicked when she saw me on the phone. I winked at her, silently trying to convey that I hadn’t said anything incriminating, even if those fuckers were pretty much on target with their guesses.
“Wait,” Drew said, pulling my attention back to the conversation we were having, “are you coming home any time soon, or were you just going to have naked-sex-day?”
Naked-sex-day sounded kind of awesome, but very unlikely to happen with Max around. Based on Ilsa’s wary expression, I doubted it would even happen without him around.
“I’ll probably be home in an hour or two,” I told him.
“Huh… really? Now I’m not so sure you fucked her after all. Every girl I know that you've done in the past has been pretty sure you were the one. They all say you’re like a big teddy bear with a dick the size of a horse or some shit.” He groaned. “Oh hell, was it bad? Was she a nut buster or smelly or some shit?”
“I’m going to hang up now, Drew,” I warned.
“Wait, no,” he said. “Sorry. I’ll get to the point. We were thinking it looks like it’s going to be an awesome day out, all clear and sunny, and it’s a holiday, so we’re all taking the day off. We want to barbecue.”
“It’s a holiday? What holiday?”
“It’s We Wanna Barbecue Day.”
I rolled my eyes as Ilsa stepped over to me and motioned with her hands to take Max. He squealed a little and dropped into her arms.
“What the fuck was that?” Drew asked.
“Nothing,” I quickly replied, then tried to distract him. “So a barbecue, huh?”
He took the bait—hook, line, and sinker.
And they all thought I was the dumb one.
“Um, yeah, we were thinking just something kinda laid back. Low key. Denny and Felicity, Brannon and Sophie, me and Maggie, Justin and his right hand, and you and… well, you and Ilsa.”
Ilsa was close enough that she heard him say her name, and her eyes widened in alarm.
“It’s okay,” I mouthed, then talked back into the phone. “Drew, nothing—”
“Whatever,” he interrupted. “Just stop by the store on your way home and get some kind of meat or something.”
“Drew—”
“Okay, see ya in a bit,” he said. Just before he ended the call, I heard him talking again. “Justin, you so fucking owe me twenty dollars.”
I looked down at Ilsa, who was almost white with panic, and tried to reassure her.
“They’re just making random guesses, Ils. They don’t know anything.”
“I heard my name, Cody,” she said in a choked voice. “They know something.”
“They know I fixed your car. They know I didn’t come home last night. The rest is just Drew and Justin hypothesizing. I didn’t confirm or deny anything.” I wrapped her, Max and all, in my arms like I had wanted to before. “They won’t blab about shit, not even Justin, if I tell them to keep it to themselves.”
She leaned into my bulky frame, allowing me to support her, even if it was only just a little.
“You know, this isn’t really fair,” she murmured against my bare chest.
“What isn’t?” I asked.
She looked up at me, still a little sad and reserved, but more calm than she’d been a minute ago. “When you do stuff like this… like wrapping your arms around me,” she quietly replied.
I raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“I told you last night, there’s something about being held by you that makes me feel safe.”
Cupping her face in my palm, I brushed my thumb over her cheek.
“Safe enough to go to a barbecue with me? To hang out with my friends?”
“I don’t know, Cody,” she hedged.
“You don’t work today, right?”
“Well, no, but you guys can be kind of wild, can’t you? It’s probably not the best place for Max.”
“This is just a cookout, not a drunk fest party. Denny and Felicity will be there with their kid.”
“Denny and Felicity have a kid?”
“Yeah, Eoghan,” I answered. “He’s just over a year old.”
She looked down at her son. “Not much younger than Max.” Her voice sounded kind of wistful.
“Yeah,” I said, slightly mystified by her tone.
“Max doesn’t get to be with kids much,” she murmured. “Like ever, really.” Her finger stroked his little cheek.
“Not even at his sitter?”
“He’s the only kid she watches.”
“Then come with me,” I urged. “Who knows, they might be buddies for life or something.”
That didn’t seem to make her feel any better. Instead, she just swallowed hard. I pulled her close again and ran my hand along her back to calm and soothe her.
“It’ll be fine, Ils. You might even have fun.”
It took some doing but I did manage to get her in the truck, Max in the middle all buckled into his car seat. He seemed to love my pickup. Must have said ‘cruk’ about a bazillion times, and when I romped on the gas and the engine rumbled and roared, he let out pure squeals of joy.
Ilsa twisted her hands all the way to the store, all the way through the store, and all the way to the Mofo house. She looked out the passenger window. She looked at Max. She looked at me.
But she barely said a word.
Max babbled the whole time. I could barely understand him, but a few words stuck out.
Of course there was ‘cruk’ over and over, not just mine, but every truck we saw. In Ophir, where damn near everyone drove a pickup, that was a lot.
There was also ‘cow’ followed by ‘mooooo!’ That made me laugh.
His jabbering sort of filled in the apprehensive silence that surrounded Ilsa, wrapped around her like a thick blanket.
We pulled up in front of the house, and Ilsa went white, almost shaking.
“I don’t know if this is such a good idea.” Her voice trembled.
The expression on her face said she was having second thoughts about even trusting me, but, with another look at Max, she gave a short nod. She undid his car seat and lifted him into her arms while I reached into the pickup bed to grab the groceries I’d been told to bring.
Drew and Justin were out back when we got there, and, since neither Brannon’s Cougar or Denny’s truck were there, I figured they were it for the moment. I set the bags on the kitchen counter and motioned for Ils to follow me.
“‘Bout time, you fucker,” Justin muttered as I stepped through the sliding glass doors, but then his mouth fell when he noted Ilsa behind me… more like, when he saw her holding Max.
“Jesus fucking Christ, you have a kid,” he gaped.
For a second, I thought Ilsa was going to turn on her heel and run back out to my truck.
“Language, you fucker,” I ground out, and Justin snapped his jaw shut.
Drew looked equally shocked, holding a bottle of beer halfway up to his lips. Then, like he’d been hit by a bolt of lightning, he jumped up out of his chair and pointed at Justin.
“See?! I told you he slept with her! I fucking told you!”
Justin scowled up at him and repeated my words. “Language, you fucker.”
With every word, Ilsa seemed to shrink behind me.
“Guys,” I said, and they both stopped and looked at me, startling me a little. To be honest, I wasn’t sure exactly what I had planned to say. They generally ignored me, so I figured I’d have a little more time to come up with something before they stopped.
An awkward couple seconds passed. Very awkward.
“So, you've met Ilsa,” I finally said, slipping my arm around her waist and drawing her forward. She didn’t resist, yet seemed to unconsciously tuck herself against my side. I was her shelter, her strength, and that knowledge gave me the most incredible feeling. “This little guy is Max.”
“Cool name,” Justin murmured, a little dazed still, but managing to say something that didn’t include some form of ‘fuck.’
“Thanks,” she whispered in response.
“So where is everyone?” I asked after another uncomfortable silence.
Easy Little Lick (Copperline #3) Page 11