by J. M. Maurer
She peeks over from her spot in the driver’s seat, her expression filled with concern. “Now that I’ve showered and changed, as soon as I get you back home, I’ll make you some lunch. I know you drank another juice at my apartment, but I promise you’ll feel a whole lot better once you’ve got some food in your tummy.”
I already feel better. How could I not? After all, I woke up to the most beautiful woman in the world.
“Despite my reaction, I think you should know what I saw back there was pretty damn impressive. Next time, though, your text with a change of plans should probably include something like, ‘Up to my arms in deer. Might not want to come. But I promise I’ll see you as soon as I’m done.’ Yeah.” I nod with enthusiasm. “That’ll do it. I don’t think I want to witness any deer butchering again.”
Addison takes a left and shakes her head with a giggle as we head up the last hill before we get to the house. “I’m sorry. I had no idea you’d show up.”
Back at the house, she parks in the drive, cuts the engine, and turns in her seat, facing me. It’s all I can do not to lean over and kiss her senseless. Instead, I thread my fingers through hers and bring the back of her hand up to my lips, placing a tender kiss on her talented hand.
“What’d you do with Tommy?” I ask, not ready to go inside just yet.
She rolls the back of her head along the headrest and shifts toward me in her seat. “I tell you what. Over lunch, you tell me about baseball. After lunch, we’ll take the cruise on the lake you promised me. Then, if you’re feeling up to it, I’ll tell you about Saint Hubert. Deal?”
She drives a hard bargain, but since I’m the one who put the subject on hold, I knew this day of questions would eventually come. I squeeze her hand and set my sight on her sky-blue eyes. “Sweetheart, what am I supposed to do when we’re out in a boat and you up and pass out on me?”
“Ha! I’m pretty sure you know me well enough to know Addison Hunt does not up and keel over.”
“Oh yeah.” I lift my brows. “What if my story’s pretty gruesome?”
She jerks her head off the headrest and shoots me a look. It’s the “yeah right” look, which makes me think she already knows my story. It wouldn’t surprise me. It was plastered on the front page of every sports paper as “The Tragedy that struck Ben Peterson.” Heck, a simple Google search would have led her straight to every word ever written about me.
Her gaze softens as she looks back at me; it’s as if she somehow understands. “How about we enjoy our cruise, then afterward you can share with me what happened the night you were on the mound?”
I knew it. She knows. And frankly, I’m relieved.
I close my eyes as Addison runs her fingers along the left side of my head. The way she trails her soft touch along that spot feels so good. I’m not sure how she does it, but without being told, she seems to know exactly where I’m broken.
“Ben.” The soft tone of her voice draws my attention away from her touch and back to her eyes. “It’s okay. If it’s too painful to talk about, you don’t have to tell me. But it’s a big part of you, and I’d like to know about it. I’ll be here to listen when you’re ready to talk.”
I’m ready to tell her. But at the moment I’m caught between the sadness in her smile and the feel of her palm warming my cheek. I take her hand and slide it around so I can kiss her skin before I speak. With my eyes fixed on hers, and hers locked on mine, I stare back feeling blessed for merely having met this woman.
“I’m ready, Addy. And I’m not sure you fully understand, but I promise someday soon you will.”
She arches a brow as an emotion I can’t quite decipher flashes across her face. “How about we go on in before Mrs. Tinley comes out and starts banging away at the window?”
Honestly, I’d rather take my chances in giving Mrs. Tinley a show, but of course, I don’t tell Addison my thoughts on that whatsoever. However, I can take her inside and lock the doors. Smack. I feel the figurative slap across the face. This time, I don’t need Mrs. Tinley pointing it out. I caught myself with this one all on my own.
Seriously, Bender? What are you thinking? How can you possibly be so insensitive?
No, with this being Addison’s former childhood home, the question on my mind should be if Addison feels comfortable being here.
Heading to the house, I follow close behind and watch as she enters when I open the front door. She takes a short pause and quickly looks around. Then without so much as a glance back, she moves in a beeline path straight for the fridge.
“I hope you don’t mind,” she says, turning in a circle, her brows furrowed as she takes in the kitchen, looking rather confused. “I’m famished. It’s been a while since I’ve eaten.”
Watching her, I’m not sure if the kitchen’s been remodeled or what it is about the house that’s got her thinking. But with the lilac top and fitted jeans hugging her sexy hips, she looks beyond beautiful standing there in the middle of the kitchen. I move in behind her, place my hands at her waist, and turn her around until we’re standing face to face.
Now that she’s exactly where I want her, I take her cheeks into my hands. She peers back at me and runs her tongue along her lip. Unable to stop myself, I lean in to within inches away. When she doesn’t seem to object, I kiss her like I’ve been dreaming about all summer long.
I nudge her with short movements until her back is against the fridge. There, I let my hands roam. The feel of her rounded belly makes me want to tell her how much I love her. Instead of words, I let my touch say just how I feel about her. She opens up and kisses back with the same heated frenzy I’m giving her. With her hands at my sides and her lips attached to mine, it’ll be next to impossible to stop myself from forever kissing her breathless.
But if I don’t stop now I’ll either take her into a room or have to settle for a very long, cold shower. This connection we have, I hope she feels it, because I’ve never had a woman drive me this wild. Before I lose control, I slow the pace of the kiss, and then reluctantly rest my forehead against hers.
“Addison,” I pant out. “I’ve been dreaming of this. All summer long. Every night and every day. I’ve wanted nothing but to feel you in my arms, to hold you with my lips all over yours. And now that I’ve done it, I hope it’s not long before you let me do it all over again.”
Addison works on her breathing, her face brightening through a silly grin. “Judging by the kiss you just gave me, I’d have never guessed. By the way, this is the first time anyone’s kissed me in the kitchen.”
“Then I’m thrilled to be your first. But, Addison, are you okay with all this? I don’t want this to feel strange or anything. I want you to feel comfortable being here.”
“I had a rough moment last month when I found you out back. I haven’t really been over here since…” She trails off and looks around.
“Since you sold it?”
“Yeah. How did you know about that?”
I nod to my left. “Nosy neighbor doesn’t keep much to herself.”
Addison laughs. “It’s kinda like that around here. But the house…” She takes another quick look around. “The rooms are the same but pretty much everything else has undergone some major updating. It actually looks gorgeous.”
“You are beyond gorgeous. But are you okay being here?” I need to know almost as much as I need to kiss Addison again.
“I’m good. I wondered how I’d react to being back, but with you here I feel a sense of serenity and calm. It’s kind of strange. And it’s not what I expected, but it’s a feeling I like. However, I won’t last long if I don’t make feeding this baby a priority.”
I pull her into my arms and rock her side to side. “I certainly don’t want to keep either of my babies waiting. I’ll make lunch. You can take a seat. But first I’d like to kiss you one more time.”
Surprising me, she taps her lips to mine, then starts chatting about the baby wreaking havoc on her bladder.
Leaving me in the kitchen, she ta
kes off down the hall. I get to work mixing a salad and stuffing lots of protein into a hoagie bun. Taking care of my babies, I can’t help but smile. Not only do I have Addison back in my life, but I’m starting to believe she might even accept the piece of paper I’m still hiding.
Chapter Fifteen
Ben
Addison beat me. I didn’t let her win. Plain and simple, she caught more fish than I did.
The culprit? I can’t seem to keep my eyes off her long enough to pay attention to any yanking at my pole.
I’ve got it bad for her. Hook. Line. And sinker.
The way her warm blue eyes glint under the light of the afternoon sky, it’s like a beacon set with a secret signal only my eyes can see. Her beautiful blues draw me to her in such a way I can’t help but get trapped inside them. Then there’s her smile and the way her pink lips text-wrap her intelligent words. It all turns her descriptions of the perfect fishing hole into the most charming melody my ears have ever heard. Listening to her, my body shakes with need. Every nerve ending I have tingles with a primal desire to pull her close and reacquaint myself with every square inch of her skin.
Four hours in a boat with Addison Hunt feels incredible. Not taking her right there on the deck is the most challenging thing I’ve ever done, which includes rehab for an injury I can’t seem to overcome.
But I love this woman. More and more every day. If I can’t tell her about the worst day of my life, then who can I tell?
Mostly, I don’t want her thinking I’m staying in Willow Run because there’s nothing better in my life to return to, or that I’m only making good on what a father should do for his unborn baby. My return isn’t about manning up. It has nothing to do with our baby. No, when you can’t get a woman out of your head, there’s obviously a lot more going on.
For weeks now, I’ve been trying to show her how I feel about having her in my life. Despite my efforts, she still seems determined to handle this pregnancy all on her own. She often reminds me she doesn’t expect a thing from me. But the more time I spend with her, her eyes tell me a different story.
Before Addison, I struck out women almost as regularly as I sent a batter back to gather splinters on the bench. Now, there’s only one woman I want in my life. She just happens to be carrying my baby.
“Ben.” Addison’s gentle tone floats in from the kitchen, just as I turn the key to light the gas fireplace Mike’s wife had converted from wood burning. According to Addison, the inside of the house has been gutted and undergone some major updates. Now the house looks more like an upscale condo than a vacation house at a lake out in the middle of nowhere. “I’m almost done cutting up the fruit. Want anything else?”
You. I want you.
And how she doesn’t know this by now must completely be my fault. I have it in my mind that as soon as she’s plopped herself down on the couch next to me, I’m going to tell all. Gearing up, I glance over at the manila envelope sitting on the side table against the far wall. For some reason, I feel the need to give our relationship more time, especially before approaching Addison with the paperwork inside. So maybe I won’t just yet be telling her everything. But I’ll do it soon, because even Mrs. Tinley knows how much the important piece of paper is a constant thought in the forefront of my mind.
“Ben,” Addison says again.
I turn the key to lower the flames. “Sorry, babe. I’m not quite used to this fireplace. Give me a full winter, and I’ll have the lighting process down.”
She lowers a square tray to a wooden coffee table centered within an oversized U-shaped sectional couch. While the sofa is large enough to accommodate any and every extracurricular activity I can think of, because the coffee table is in front of the fireplace, in my opinion, it’s got to go. With the swell of Addison’s breasts peeking out over the neckline of her cotton top, I want to cuddle with her on the floor and keep her tucked in beside me, right here in front of a warm fire, lying next to me all night.
Straightening her spine, she stands and asks me to repeat what I just said. When I do, her blue eyes disappear behind thick lashes as she begins to rapidly blink.
“Did you honestly think I’d leave?” I ask, standing from my spot in front of the fireplace to pull her into my arms. “There’s no way I can leave you, Addison. Not now.” Not ever.
She stutters as she works to push her words past her lips. “I…I…guess I just wasn’t sure what your plan was. It’s not like I’ve asked or anything.” She pauses, taking a moment to let her eyes dart around. It’s as if she’s arguing with herself about whether she should or shouldn’t ask the specific question she has on her mind.
“No. You haven’t asked. And it’s not like I’ve mentioned it either.”
“Well, I don’t know much about baseball,” she admits and runs her soft touch along my arms. The action makes my heart rate zip into overdrive. “I guess I assumed you had commitments to get back to.”
I run my hands down her hair and cup her face. “Sweetheart, I think it’s time we have our long talk.”
I’m ready. Addison is everything I want.
She follows me to the couch. A mixture of uncertainty and anticipation swirls deep within her eyes. “Ben, you know I don’t expect anything. None of this is your fault, and—”
I lift a rigid finger to her lips and prevent her from saying any more. I know she’s only saying this to protect herself from getting hurt. But I feel the truth of the matter each time she forces those very same words toward me and lets her gaze fall off to the side. She doesn’t mean what she’s saying. I’m confident I know how she feels. I’d go so far as to bet my millions she wants me in her life as much as I want her in mine.
“This is no one’s fault, Addy. This is all meant to be. There’s not a second that goes by where I don’t smile at the thought of the baby growing inside you. It’s our baby. We’re in this together. I only hope you want me in your life as much as I want you in mine.”
“Ben.” She lets out an exasperated breath, dropping her shoulders as if in disbelief of what I’ve said.
I scoot her closer, being gentle while draping her legs over mine. “You need to believe me when I say in the last few years I’ve been through some of the worst days of my life. But as terrible as things turned out after those days, the most amazing day of my life occurred.”
She tilts her head and scrunches her brows, the expression on her face moving first through confusion and finishing with a look of sorrow. At my side, she listens as I tell her about the night on the mound. A tear trickles down her cheek when I get to the part about being three outs away from throwing a perfect game. And up until the first pitch in the ninth inning I’d been hitting all my spots, pitching toward yet another momentous occasion in my life.
But when you least expect it, life has a way of throwing its own curveball. You can either stand there and take it, or let it take you down.
It sucks to miss your mark on the one pitch you’ve always believed in the most. But as I watched the ball float in like a batting practice toss, that’s exactly what happened. I missed, and miserably I should add. And instead of the ball bending in the mind-blowing way that brings a batter to his knees, I took a line drive to the side of my skull. The impact left a sizeable divot and cracked several other bones in my face.
I can tell you getting hit in the head with a baseball traveling at well over a hundred miles an hour tips the pain scale numbers right off the charts. But in the end, it’s the aftermath that proved to be the most debilitating part. I’ve still got the arm. I still hit the numbers. And I still find my spots. Yet not even round after round of hypnotherapy can remove the memories of that night from my mind.
But now my dreams are filled with scenes of Addison and me together as a family.
I wipe more of her tears away and place a loving kiss on her forehead. “I’ve tried everything, Addy. As soon as a batter gets in the box, I can’t find the strike zone any better than I can catch a fish with you in the boat.”
She sniffles while dabbing at some puffiness set in around her eyes. “I’m sorry you’re hurting, Ben. I wish there was something I could do to make everything better.”
She’s so dang beautiful, and selfless, and I can’t stop myself from blurting my next words. “Marry me, Addison. Let me take care of you. I don’t want to miss out on another moment of your life.”
Addison’s shoulders deflate like I’ve just stabbed her in the back. I don’t have a clue what it was I said that made her lower her head and let out such a heavy sigh. Or why she goes and does what I should be doing and gives herself a hug.
“Ben, I don’t want you marrying me because I’m having your baby.” She lifts her chin.
Her pained expression and the heavy sadness in her eyes cut through me as though the knife from her back just sliced through the middle of my stomach.
“You should marry the woman you love.”
“But I will be,” I blurt.
“That’s just it. I don’t want you assuming you’ll one day fall in love with me. That’s ridiculous; it never works. And it’s a terrible thing to put a child through.”
“That’s not what I’m saying.” I thread my hands through her hair. My gaze hasn’t moved an inch; it’s completely locked on hers. “I’m saying I already love you. I came back here for you, Addison. I just didn’t expect to find you pregnant. But a baby doesn’t complicate my feelings. I’ve been thinking about you all summer long. Having our baby now just means I don’t have as much time to have you to myself. That’s all.”
“After two months, you’ve decided you love me,” she says as more of a statement than a question. It’s as if she’s refusing to let herself believe.