by Al K. Line
Morag was most definitely not like that at all. She looked of an age, but what that was beyond appearing to be a fit sixty-something you would never guess. The ancient witch had silver hair tied back in a bun, a pearl necklace around a neck that was lined but slender, the skin taut, and had the build of someone who kept themselves in shape by daily exercise. She wore a light cotton suit with a pencil skirt and matching heels, revealing shapely calves that many a twenty-something would be jealous of.
But there was something off about her, same as the last time I'd met her, which was when I was much younger and took less notice of such things, just knowing the vibe was strange. Studying her now, I still couldn't quite pin it down, but she made you feel uncomfortable. You knew there was something wrong with her, something misplaced, but couldn't decide what.
Her features were unremarkable. She wore little makeup, just a few subtle touches, and spoke without a trace of an accent, which was strange as you always get a hint of something when you talk to people. Not her, she could have been from anywhere in the world. Her English was flawless and yet there was a lilt to her voice that many, myself included, found somehow captivating.
And she was dangerous as hell, so I kept my guard up and made certain not to get too comfortable. Whatever it was she wanted, it wouldn't be good for us, and saying no would cause a lot of problems.
"I'm on honeymoon. We're on honeymoon," I offered as way of advance explanation.
"My dear boy, I am well aware of this. No need to tell me. Ah," she said, lighting up a cigarette in a black holder tipped with gold, something I hadn't seen for a long time, "you think maybe to explain in advance why you cannot take on the job you believe I am about to ask you to complete?" She exhaled audibly, lost to a cloud of strangely scented French cigarette smoke before she wafted it away with a bony hand, rings on every finger.
"Something like that," I said. Turning to Kate, I asked, "Are you okay? You kind of left in a hurry."
"I'm fine," she said through gritted teeth, then smiled weakly.
I knew Kate well enough to know when there was something else going on, and there definitely was now. She was being too quiet, sitting with her hands in her lap and knees together, posture bad. There was something happening here I didn't know about, and it was tied up with what Morag wanted.
"You haven't told him, have you, my dear?" asked Morag, taking a puff on her cigarette then resting it carefully in a glass ashtray.
"No, I didn't expect it to be like this. Your birthday isn't for days."
"Told me what? Didn't expect what to be like this?" I asked Kate.
"I'm sorry, Faz. You thought our honeymoon was going wrong because you let people back home get involved, but... er..."
"Come on, out with it."
Kate looked at me although her head was still lowered, and said, "I persuaded the Chemist to convince you to book here, but also at this time. Um, Morag insisted. Said this was when we had to come if I wanted to find out how to be a whole woman again. But she said her party was days away. I'm sorry."
It was a shock, that she'd manipulated things so much, but I'd thought it was merely to come to Paris as this was where the answer lay, but none of that was as important as what Kate had just said. I took her hands gently and said, "Kate, you are a whole woman. You are no less whole because you can't have children. You're whole and beautiful and I love you."
"Ah, how touching," said Morag with a snide smile.
I snapped my head around to meet her ridicule and said, "If you think love and making Kate feel better is something to laugh at then you can go fuck yourself, Morag. I don't care what deal you may think you've made, or what you've convinced Kate of. I haven't agreed to anything, so, as I just said, go fuck yourself, okay?"
"Faz!"
"Kate, this isn't like you. What's got into you? I will not have something beautiful cheapened and made fun of by her. I'm worried about you."
"Watch your language," warned Morag, eyes cold and hard. "You do not speak to the Queen like that."
"Spare me the bullshit, Morag. You know as well as I do that your title means nothing. It may work on the sycophants but it won't work on me. Understand?" I was angry, and confused, and on my feet now. Power thrummed through my system and I knew, and I saw that Morag knew it too, that I could beat her. Destroy her.
I knew there were things inside of me I was yet to discover, and that the well of strength I had was now bottomless. She saw it. Kate suddenly put a hand to her mouth and gasped, and my body expanded, throwing off sparks of hardly contained magic. I'd clean the floor with her if she treated us with disrespect and then dance on her bones until they were dust.
"Please sit down. Just be calm, everything's okay." Kate tugged at my arm and I allowed her to pull me down into my seat.
"Okay, but somebody better explain what the hell is happening. We're supposed to be on bloody honeymoon here, not dealing with this shit."
"I'm sorry, I didn't think it would happen like this."
"You have grown strong, Black Spark," said Morag with a hint of respect I'd never seen her show to another. "I understand your anger, your confusion. Please allow me to explain." She took up her cigarette and puffed on it. She looked as she always did, calm and in control, but I could tell I'd rattled her. Hell, I'd rattled myself. Nobody spoke to her like that, certainly not if they wanted to live.
"Knock yourself out. But this better be good. And if you've lied to Kate, promised her something you can't deliver, I will not be a happy camper."
"I can cure Kate of the, shall we call it, procreation issue?" She sat back, looking so smug I wanted to tear her face off and feed it to the nearest nasty beastie, waiting for me to respond.
Summoning up all my power of cool, and you know I have some seriously mad skills there, I kept my face neutral and said, "Go on."
"Kate has discovered that for a vampire female to bear children is rare indeed, almost impossible. But it can be done. Most vampires do not know how to do this, what the answer is, but I do. If you do something for me then in return I will make Kate, as she puts it, whole again."
"Kate, is this true?" I asked, taking her hands again and searching her face for answers.
"Yes. Since last year I knew this was what I wanted, what you wanted too, but nobody could help. Not Oskari, not anyone. I kept digging and found a few others who'd had children. It's not advertised as nobody wants vampires going around having kids and being less effective, and to be honest most aren't interested anyway, but it led to Morag. She can help."
"How?" I asked Morag.
"That I will not tell you until I have my payment."
"And what is that payment?" I knew it wouldn't be cash, she wasn't short of a bob or two. No, it would be something dangerous and stupid and convoluted and ridiculous.
"All in good time. Are you interested?"
Kate and I exchanged a long look, searching each other for doubt, for a sign that the other wanted to back down, find another way. But I'd tried to find an answer to this and had got nowhere. This might be our only chance.
"Yes," I said. "We'll do it. I'll do it," I corrected.
"You don't even know what I will ask of you," said Morag, amused.
"Danger, chance of dying. Magic, all kinds of nasty. Am I getting close?"
"Haha, yes, you are."
"Then I'm in."
There was no point beating around the bush. I'd do it whatever it was, within reason. If Kate wanted this then so did I, and if we passed it could be the end of the trail, no second chances.
"Good. Tomorrow it begins."
The honeymoon was definitely over.
Striking a Deal
"What begins tomorrow?" I asked, the only upside I could see was that at least we'd have the night before the nuttiness began. And if I had any luck maybe I could get this job over and done with soon and we'd have the rest of the trip to get in some serious, dedicated baby making practice. The thought put a smile on my face even though now wasn't the
time for thinking about naughty nighttime romps. What can I tell you, I'm dedicated to the cause.
"There is a certain someone who needs to be dealt with," said Morag, hatred bubbling up.
"And you can't deal with this certain someone yourself? I'd have thought your enemies are dealt with swiftly and easily, given your skills."
"There are things beyond my gifts, Black Spark, or may I call you Faz?"
"No, you may not. This is business and we ain't friends. Spark will be fine."
"As you wish. This requires something different to my skills. This requires you. When Kate made contact I saw it as the perfect opportunity for us all to get what we wanted. You must go and steal his magic and make him a Regular. No trace of magic left. Just a normal man, nothing more, nothing less. I do not," she warned with a jab of a bony finger into the air, "want him killed. I want him human, nothing else."
"Blimey, getting soft in your old age, are you? Excuse me for saying, but you don't usually seem to have an issue with killing. I mean, our invitation wasn't exactly anything the hedgehog would have agreed to."
"Don't question me!" Morag's sharp cheekbones flushed pink. I'd really got to her; she was usually unflappable. This was something different, something personal, and you could be damn sure that whatever she told me it would be a fraction of the truth, if it contained any at all.
"Okay, okay," I held up my hands to calm her. "Give me the details. What's he done, who is he, and where do I find him?"
"You shall have all pertinent information, but the why is none of your business. You accepted the job, now you must carry it out."
"That's not how it works, Morag. I took the job, but there are always conditions. If it's a young kid you worry will be a pain some time down the line then I won't do it. I'm an enforcer, not a bully or gun for hire."
"Spare me. That's exactly what you are. You get paid and you go deal with the troublemakers. This man is a troublemaker and your payment is your future happiness. Isn't that enough?"
I didn't need to think about it. "No, it isn't. I have to live with myself, and that means I have limits to what I'll do. I can't speak for Kate, but I won't hurt somebody just because you have a bee in your bonnet. It has to have meaning or the deal's off."
"I'm with Faz. I told you this, Morag. That we would meet and you could ask for your price, but that our answer would depend on what you wanted." Kate sat straight, her resolution and strength returned. She wanted this, same as me, but we'd only go so far.
"As you wish. The man in question is cruel and he makes a mockery of the Empty, of all we hold dear. He has broken the Laws. He must be punished."
"If it's a magical Law then why not just go to the Council? You know what they're like about these things. Hell, they locked me up for a year when they thought I'd done the nasty. They're quick to judge and slow to ask too many questions."
"Give me some credit," she snapped. "You don't rat."
Rat, what kind of ancient witch talks like she's just come out of prison on day release? What was this? Guess the code goes back a long way, and many magic users would never hand someone over to the Council no matter what. Most business gets done privately, as it should.
"Okay, so you want to deal with this yourself. What's the real issue? What did this man of mystery do?"
"He stole my soul."
"Oh, shit."
Suddenly living alone in a damp cave seemed like a nice way to spend the next few hundred years.
"I told you there was a price for what you wanted. This is it. You get my soul back and you take it along with his magic. And you bring it back here to me."
"No. Come on, Kate, let's go." I reached out for her but she moved her hand away. I understood she didn't know what this meant, not really. She was still new to our world, a mere babe when it came to such things, and she didn't understand.
"Kate, I can't. I'm sorry but it isn't possible."
"Ah, but it is. You know it is. You have the power now, Spark, your strength is unsurpassed. You are capable of this, you just have to be willing."
"And end up a gibbering wreck, insane and with you stuck inside of me. No thanks, I'd rather find another way."
"There is no other way." Morag rose and moved to the door, gliding like she never touched the ground. It was always disconcerting, and even distracted as I was it still had the desired effect. It freaked me out a little. "I will give you a few minutes. Five minutes then I require my answer. I will not offer again."
She closed the door. And with it my hopes for the future.
Five Minute Fluster
You know what I felt more than anything? Disappointment. In Kate.
"Why did you do this to me? This is some serious crap you've pulled here, Kate. This was our chance to get away from it all and to put the past behind us, yet you knew about all this madness, had arranged it?" I slumped back into the chair, too overwhelmed to shout or scream. I was just tired, so goddamn tired of it all. Of all the games, the machinations and the never ending fighting and hurt. I wanted it all to stop, to go away and never come back.
I wanted to be happy.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know it would be like this. You must believe me. I didn't know Morag was as insane as she obviously is. I thought it would be a nice surprise."
"A nice surprise! Are you out of your fucking mind?" My head snapped around to confront her, the words sharp and cruel, but I couldn't help it. I felt betrayed. Kate was crying silently, a world of hurt behind her eyes, shame too. And a deep sadness, her dreams shattered, just like mine. "Look, I'm sorry I shouted, but this, it's too much. Why the hell didn't you tell me? And don't give me that about a nice surprise. You must have known what she was like. No way you wouldn't have found out before we came."
"I'm sorry," whispered Kate, head bowed, the tears soaking her lap, falling to her clenched hands that she wrung, eyes focused on them but unseeing.
My resolve broke. I couldn't stand to see her cry, and knew I'd overreacted. It was all too much, too many emotions roiling. I couldn't make sense of them, of anything. Kate was always the sensible one, the one with the level head, never doing crazy stuff like this. What was she thinking?
The same thing as me, that's what. That we had a chance at a future we hadn't thought possible. She'd jumped at it without thinking it through properly. But there was more, I knew that much.
"You were scared I'd say no, weren't you? Before we even came, you thought if you told me Morag had a way for us to have children I'd say no and refuse to come."
Kate wiped at her face, her perfect skin now blotchy and ugly. It made my heart ache but I kept my face emotionless. I had to get answers and I never once thought I'd have to act anything but genuine in front of Kate to get to the truth.
"I know this is stupid, and I know I did the wrong thing now, but I didn't think it would be like this, not this bad. You have to believe me, Faz," she said, eyes pleading, shining with the tears she fought back.
"But you still lied."
"I know. I thought it would make you happy. That Morag would tell us she could help and you'd be happy."
"We can't trust her, she's psycho."
"That's why I didn't say anything. I knew you'd dismiss her, tell me she was a liar and that she'd use us to get her own way and play on our weakness, but I didn't think it would turn out like this. I'm sorry."
Kate broke down then, really broke down. The silent tears streamed down her face, a lifetime of hurt unleashed. Not just hers, mine too. I knew she cried not only for herself, but for me, for us. For the life I'd led, the loneliness I'd felt time and time again over the decades. The unrelenting battering of my body and my mind I could take, but the emotional beatings chipped away at me over the years.
Maybe Rikka had been right. Maybe he was correct when he said I would change. Become cold and crave power above all else. Never be satisfied until I dominated others.
This was part of that process, I knew. The endless hammering at my emotions made me frail and jus
t hurt too much. I shut them down, acted in a cold manner when dealing with those that tried to ruin me, and that was the beginning of the end.
Just like Kate, I had to hold on to my humanity, never let it fade. It had to hurt, it had to be painful, because that was what life was like for everyone. You had the good and you had the bad, and I had to believe I would have a happy future, that I deserved one.
Problem being, I wondered if I did. Did I deserve to be happy, to be content? There were times when I doubted it, times I believed I deserved nothing but a cruel, painful end for the things I'd done in this world, the waste of a life I was. Then other times I'd examine myself, go over what I'd done that made me who I was and realize I wasn't so bad, maybe was good, and deserved a chance at a bright future.
But the darkness was always there, clouding my mind and drawing me back down into a funk until I became remote and sullen, if not beaten then close to it.
I had to fight for what I believed, for what I wanted, for what I felt I deserved. Yes, I hurt those I loved, and yes, I was far from perfect. But that was what being human was all about.
"Times up," said Morag as she moved across the room back to her chair in the same freaky way. She lit up and blew out smoke.
"But we haven't had chance to talk," protested Kate. "I'm sorry," she said, fighting for control and smiling at me weakly.
"It's okay. You were right. This was right. It's us against the world and we have to fight for what we want, for what we deserve." I turned to Morag and with my heart leaping and a glimmer of a future I never thought possible tempting me, I said, "I'll do it."
"Good," said Morag, looking pleased.
"But I can't guarantee I'll take his magic. If you want your soul, that's what I'll bring. I can't do both, I'll be too weak."
Morag thought for a moment, but she understood. "Fine. Do not fail me," she warned.
Kate turned in shock, thinking it was over and I'd refuse. "We deserve to be happy. So let's do this." I smiled weakly. I didn't feel like celebrating, not yet. I wanted to just go crawl somewhere and hide, to not get battered by life and to have hope only for it to be dashed.