The Day He Went Away

by Millikin, Jennifer

  Before my longest, most heartfelt wish was granted, Kate attempted to let me go. She’s practical to a fault. Trying so hard to do what she thought would be best for me. No way. I didn’t wait a decade just to accept defeat so easily. I’m a fighter.

  I watched, held my breath, as Kate’s mouth formed the words I’ve been waiting forever to hear. I’m sorry I made you wait so long. I love you. I’m in love with you.

  Kissing her. Holy shit. Now that was literally a dream come true. I’ve lost count of all the dreams she’s starred in. And today I learned the real thing is better. Way better.

  We’re on our way to my parents’ house now. Kate’s been quiet the whole drive. The air is charged with a palpable nervousness.

  “Your parents are going to be happy when they find out about us, right?” Kate bites her lip as she gets off the freeway.

  I can’t figure out why she’s nervous. My parents have known her since she was five, and my mom considers her the daughter she never had.

  At this point all I can do is roll my eyes at her. “That’s a really dumb question.”

  She smacks my arm.

  I laugh, hands held up. “Okay, okay. Yes, they're going to be happy.”

  She nods, mollified.

  I can’t wait for my mom’s reaction. She’s going to do cartwheels when she finds out Kate and I have finally found our way to each other.

  Kate puts the car in park in my parents’ driveway and takes a deep breath. “How should we tell them? Should we sit them down?”

  “A sit-down is for bad news.” I move through scenarios in my mind. “Maybe I could kiss you in front of them and let them react.”

  “Your mother would have a coronary. So would mine.”

  “Is your mom coming over?”

  “When isn’t she over?”

  “Good point. Let’s just go in there and let it happen naturally.”

  Kate looks dubious.

  “You don’t need to control the flow of information on this one night, okay?” My eyebrows rise, waiting for her agreement.

  “Okay.” Her laugh is forced, but at least she’s trying. “But just this one time. Don’t start thinking you’re going to win every disagreement now that we’re more than friends.”

  We start for the front door, pausing once we reach the welcome mat. I rub her shoulders with my hands and look into her eyes. “Are we more than friends?”

  Alarm widens her eyes. “Yes. I think being in love with each other changes the status of our friendship.”

  I smirk at her dryness. “How much more than friends are we at this point?”

  “Well… I…” She looks flustered.

  My hands move up to her face, my thumbs stroke her cheekbones. “I’m not just your best friend anymore. And I’m so much more than your boyfriend. I’m your forever.”

  Kate nods, eyes closed. “Yes,” she breathes.

  My chest is pressed against hers, and through our clothes, I feel her heartbeats. My lips are on hers, and my insides erupt in triumph. I’m kissing the girl I’ve been in love with for almost half my life. Unbelievable.

  Kate trembles, sighs my name into my own mouth, and all I want to do is take her somewhere and keep learning more about my best friend. My forever.

  The front door flies open, and my mother stands there, gaping at us with shocked eyes and a hand clutched to her chest. My dad is next to her, smiling.

  “Seriously?” Her voice is a happy squeal.

  Kate attempts to step away from me, but I tighten my grip. I’m not letting her go. Kate’s red face looks up at me, deer in the headlights, but I’m smiling.

  My mom makes a whooping sound, performs a goofy dance, and pokes my dad in the ribs with her elbow. “I told you, James.” Her voice is proud and satisfied.

  Dad grins. “Congratulations, you two.” He gives me a look that says he knows this is a victory for me.

  I smile back. “Thanks, Dad.”

  Mom opens her mouth, but her eyes fall on something behind us and instead lifts her arm, waving. I turn with Kate, keeping our embrace.

  Kate’s mom has just crossed the street and is walking through my front yard. Her mouth hangs open, palms up, and she’s shaking her head.

  “Ethan, my daughter is in your arms.” She looks at Kate and then back to me. “Who wants to tell me why you two look like more than friends?”

  “It’s because they are!” My mom shouts from behind us. She bypasses me and Kate and hurries forward, hooking her elbow through Linda’s arm.

  “See, Linda?” She stage-whispers to Kate’s mom. “I've been telling you for years that it would happen.”

  Linda eyes Kate, her lips pursed in a smile. “Yeah, but my daughter can be stubborn.”

  Kate groans. “Hi, Mom.”

  Linda grabs Kate’s hands, pulling her from me. She smiles at Kate, tears shining in her eyes. “Your dad would approve.”

  Kate nods, and my heart hammers in my chest. I watch Kate's face, waiting for the telltale signs that her heart is hurting. I see her gulp, her eyes squint. But she straightens her shoulders and smiles. My strong Kate. If I had to guess, I'd bet she's telling herself there's no reason to be upset.

  My mom pokes my shoulder with her pink fingernail. “I told you, too, didn’t I? When you were nineteen and telling me how you felt. I told you to wait for her, that she was worth it, and one day she'd realize she’s in love with you.”

  Kate’s face is crimson in an instant.

  “All right, all right,” I say. “Let’s give Kate a break.”

  “Aww, look at you, defending her already.” My mom smiles her sweetest smile. “Wait a minute.” Her face gets serious. “Kate, did this happen when you stayed last night? Did my invitation make this happen?” She clasps her hands at her chest, her shoulders squeezing together.

  I shake my head. “Mom, no. Come on.”

  “Well, I just wanted to take credit, if that’s what happened.”

  My dad laughs and kisses her cheek. “Give them a break, Evie. Ethan, do you want us to close this door again? It looked like you two were enjoying yourselves.”

  I cough once. “No, we’re good. Thanks for the…uh…offer.” Even I’m starting to get embarrassed.

  “Come inside.” Mom motions us in. “This time I didn’t burn dinner. But that’s only because I made a salad.”

  We settle into our evening, and I feel good. I’ll try not to think about how, now that I’ve finally won Kate’s heart, there’s a clock counting down the minutes until I have to leave her.

  ***

  “Don’t stop now, old man.” I pass the ball to my dad. He’s bent over and breathing heavily.

  “Who are you calling old man? I can still beat you.” He runs forward into a layup and sinks the shot.

  “Game,” I yell across the court. “Nice work, Dad.”

  “Thanks. I’ll just wait over here for your high five.” He rests his hands on bent knees, dragging in heavy breaths.

  I chuckle, jog over to him, and extend my hand. “Wouldn’t want to leave the princess waiting.”

  He straightens and shakes my hand. “Grab two beers for the king and his loyal subject. Let’s talk.”

  I run inside to the kitchen. Kate’s voice floats in from the dining room, where she sits with our moms.

  “I don’t know what happened. Honestly. Suddenly I was just in love with him.”

  Now this is an interesting conversation. Kate hasn’t told me how it happened. As much as I want to stick around to eavesdrop, my dad’s waiting for me. Two bottles in hand, I go back outside.

  “Cheers,” he says.

  We tap our bottles together.

  He looks up at the sky, where the pink and purple sunset grows darker. “How are you feeling about going to Afghanistan?”

  Not great, especially now that Kate’s finally in love with me. But I can’t say that. He’s an ex-Marine, and a damn proud one. I want him to know I share his love for our country. I just also happen to love Kat
e a hell of a lot too.

  “Hoo-rah.” I use my military voice.

  He touches the bottom of his bottle to mine. I tip it up and finish, the beer flowing smoothly down my throat. This deployment better end smoothly too.

  ***

  Harper isn’t home tonight—thank God-and Kate doesn’t expect her back for a long time.

  We’re lying on the couch in the living room, Kate's head on my chest. My body clock is adjusted enough that I’m not drooping like I was last night.

  “Let’s plan the rest of my leave.” I look out the window as I speak. Kate’s apartment is on the second floor and has a sliver of a mountain in her view. “Now that I know how head-over-heels in love with me you are, I think my visit is going to be a little different.”

  She reaches forward and kisses the tip of my nose. How my heart stays in my chest, I really don’t know. I’m so high on life, so high on Kate, my heart feels like it could shoot straight out of me and catapult into the stars.

  I’m brought right back down to earth when I hear the front door open. Harper stomps into the living room and peers down at us over the back of the couch with a look of disgust.

  “If I ask you guys to come out with me tonight, are you going to act all lovey-dovey like this?”

  Kate looks at Harper, nonplussed. “Depends. Where are you considering asking us to go?”

  “A party a friend of mine planned. But if you’re going to embarrass me with your canoodling, then you’re not allowed to attend.”

  As though we’re dying to go.

  Kate pushes herself up on one hand and glances at me, unsure. “How late will we have to stay?”

  Harper snorts. “What does that matter? You’re off work until Ethan leaves.”

  Kate blushes. “It was just a question.”

  Harper, not shockingly, doesn’t notice Kate’s blush.

  “You won’t spontaneously combust if you stay up late.” Harper grins at Kate. “Promise.” She makes a monkey face at Kate, and it works. Kate giggles, and the sound is adorable.

  Harper’s expression goes back to normal. “I’ll take your lack of a no as a yes.”

  Kate turns to me. “Are you okay with going out tonight? It’s already kind of late.” She bites her lip. What else is going through her mind? I’d give anything to be a mind reader, just for five seconds.

  I shrug, about to speak, but Harper cuts me off.

  “You guys are already an old, boring couple. I have to go get ready before I catch the couple disease.”

  She walks to her room, and I’ve never been happier to see a door close.

  I roll my eyes. “She hasn’t changed a bit.”

  “She’s good for me. She makes me less serious.”

  “I like your serious side.” Kate’s seriousness is what contributes to her unfaltering loyalty. “I also like your funny side. And your sweet side. And your backside.”

  Kate laughs and snuggles into me. She smells perfect. Like my Katie girl.

  “You’re crazy,” she says.

  “Crazy about you.”

  “Ugh,” she groans. “What a line.”

  “Did it work?”

  “Of course.”

  “What’s my prize?”

  “A bouncy ball from one of those toy machines?”

  “I have a much better prize in mind.”

  Kate’s blush is back and in full force. I brush my fingertips across her cheeks.

  “Why are you blushing?”

  She shakes her head. She won’t tell me because she can’t say the words. I’m starting to get an idea about why she’s acting like this. It happens every time she talks about being physical with me, even just kissing. Like Harper’s comment yesterday about Kate’s pulsating nether regions. Kate was redder than I’ve ever seen her. She wasn’t just embarrassed…

  The puzzle pieces fall into place. Kate wants to have sex with me.

  My pulse picks up, and my breath comes faster. I want to make love to Kate. For years I’ve dreamed about it. But the moment has to be perfect. Not forced at all. As long as I’ve waited for her, there’s no way I’m rushing the first time I get to experience her body.

  Summoning all my strength, I shut down my urge to pick her up and carry her to the bedroom right now. “You’re my prize.”

  She smiles that beautiful smile, and the little scar on her forehead shifts. She lifts her head from my chest, her perfect pink lips, moist and waiting. My best friend. My forever. My Katie girl.

  7

  Kate

  Time passed too quickly. One day Ethan was just arriving, and the next he was preparing to leave. Suddenly his inevitable departure was no longer a gray cloud in the distance that we tried to ignore. We’d done so much during his time here, our attempt at turning ten days into more.

  Our days were taken up with visiting Ethan's parents, which invariably meant my mom too. It wasn’t too soon after we arrived at the Shepherds’ house that my mom would walk in, fresh from a short stroll across the street. I feared Ethan's parent's might feel frustrated at their lack of alone time with their son, but they seemed to have a “more the merrier” kind of attitude. We spent our mornings swimming and our afternoons napping. It felt like childhood again.

  The nights were reserved for me and Ethan. If his parents objected, they didn't show it. Every day we left their house after Ethan showered and changed for the night, and they seemed happy as they waved goodbye.

  After a stop at my apartment, where I showered and changed too, we were off to do whatever Ethan declared was his heart’s desire.

  One evening we went for drinks with old friends from high school. It wasn’t unusual for them to see us show up together, of course, but they all wore a shocked expression when Ethan leaned over to kiss me. Everyone except Zane, that is. He winked at me and smiled. And then we ordered another round of drinks, because they all wanted to toast to the fact that Ethan had finally won my heart.

  Another night we drove way north of the city, so far up the interstate we were long past even the sparsest section of suburban sprawl. Ethan followed a dirt road that looked like it would keep winding into the mountains if we stayed on it. On a blanket laid over the hood of my car, we sat beneath a night sky black as ink and scattered with the breathtaking twinkling of millions of stars. With our backs leaning against the windshield we talked for hours, about everything and nothing. Creosote perfumed the air with its resinous scent. Ethan leaned over me, and when his lips touched mine, all I could smell was him.

  Today is my ninth and final full day with Ethan. The euphoria of the last nine days has given way to a sense of dread tinged with melancholy.

  Tomorrow Ethan will leave. He’ll fly out in the morning on a flight bound for JFK. From there he’ll make the long trek back to Germany, and then on to Afghanistan, to the danger and duty that awaits him. And I’ll be here, clinging to my belief that somehow he’ll be safe from harm. But the truth is, I’m terrified.

  I don’t mention my fear to Ethan. He doesn’t like talking about leaving, and I don’t want that negativity hovering over our last night together. Besides, his personal safety isn't the only thing weighing heavily on my mind tonight.

  If Ethan’s thinking along the same lines as me, he’s not letting on. And I’m way too embarrassed to actually say the words out loud.

  Ethan’s freshly washed after his shower, and my hair is still ratty from the chlorine of his parents’ pool. We’re in the living room at their house when Evie walks in.

  “What’s on the agenda for you kids tonight?” She smiles at us as she settles herself into a chair.

  “I don’t really know, Mom.” Ethan finds my hand and squeezes it. “We might just be lying low.”

  Evie’s lips purse as she regards him with a pensive expression. She sighs and leans slightly forward. “Your dad and I were thinking it would be fun to go out to dinner, all of us. Including your mom, of course, Kate,” she adds. “But if you don’t want to—”

  “Sounds fu
n to me.” I’m quick to agree. I’ve been feeling guilty about monopolizing Ethan’s time.

  “Great.” Evie jumps from her chair. “I’ll call your mom.” She walks into the kitchen, opens the back door, and I hear her yell to her husband. “James, the kids want to go to dinner.”

  Warmth floods over me. I love being a part of “the kids.” First, because Ethan’s an only child, and it’s sweet that she includes me in a category that only Ethan rightfully occupies, and second, because we’re both twenty-five, and she’s been calling us that for twenty years.

  “Are you okay with this?” Ethan looks at me with concern.

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” I ask.

  Ethan looks uncomfortable. “I wasn’t sure if you had anything planned for tonight. I just wanted to make sure my mom wasn’t stepping on your toes.”

  Is his mind in the same place as mine? Most guys would have put the moves on me by now. But there’s nothing typical about Ethan, so I have no idea what he’s thinking.

  “My toes are still intact.” I point down and wiggle them in my sandals. “Your mom and dad probably feel like they haven’t seen you at all this leave, thanks to me. I should have said I had something to take care of so you three could have some alone time.” I don’t really mean it, but it sounds nice.

  “Nah.” Ethan waves away my suggestion. “We’re a package deal.”

  Package deal. Oh, my heart.

  “I love that. And I love you.” I lean over to kiss him.

  “Oh, my!” I catch sight of myself in the mirror behind Ethan’s head. “I’m going to try and make myself presentable. Tell your mom I’ll be ready soon.” I grab my purse and head up the stairs to Ethan’s old bathroom.

  ***

  Here we are. Back at my apartment. Oh boy. Dinner was…interesting. We were both distracted. Evie mislabeled it as sadness that we had to say goodbye tomorrow, and I wasn’t about to correct her.

  My stomach is a ball of nerves, and I’m betting Ethan’s is too.