by Parker, Ali
Evie
I pulled open the door to the hall where my father’s office was located. I knew he wasn’t in class. I knew his schedule. He wasn’t returning my calls, which really pissed me off.
He was the one acting childishly. I couldn’t believe he was actually mad at me. He was the one who had acted like a tyrant. I was not going to let him get away with ignoring me.
I had mulled over it all week. The only way this was going to get settled was to hash it out. There would be some things said that would probably hurt. They needed to be said. We needed to clear the air. He knew it and I knew it, but he was avoiding it.
He couldn’t hide from me. I was fully capable and willing to track him down. I didn’t really have the time to do it, but I was doing it anyway. The week had been hectic and irritating. I was irritated in general. I was pissed I had not been able to see Xander all week. We never got the chance to go out on the boat.
This weekend was busy for both of us as well. I wasn’t going to be able to see him until next week, if I was lucky. We had managed to exchange a few texts but nothing more.
I missed him. I missed his touch. I missed his kisses. I missed sex. The man had turned me into a bit of a nympho. I didn’t have time to sort through what all that meant. I didn’t want to acknowledge the feelings. They were there, but I kept shoving them to the back of my mind to be dealt with later. Procrastination wasn’t really my thing, but when it came to matters of the heart, it was very appealing.
First things first. I needed to make my dad talk to me before I could delve into the feelings business. I needed to make him understand that I was a big girl and I could date whomever I damn well pleased.
If I was such a big girl, why did it feel like I was going to throw up? My palms were sweaty. I felt like I was going to my own trial and the odds were stacked against me. I walked down the hall, my heels clacking over the hardwood floors.
I could hear raised voices and slowed my pace. I turned my head, straining my ears to hear better. I cringed when I recognized my father’s raised voice. I walked toward his office and confirmed it was definitely him. I leaned against the wall and listened to the heated exchange.
My father was on a tirade. I could hear the soft sobs of a female. It was clear it was a student.
“You should have majored in fashion or makeup or whatever it is that you actually do well!” my father said. “Why are you in my class? This is not what you care about. You are wasting my time and yours.”
“Sir, I promise, I do want to be an engineer,” the female insisted. “I’m trying.”
“I’ve seen better effort from a wall. Get out. Figure out what you want to do with your life and don’t come back to my class until you know.”
The door opened and a young woman rushed out. She barely looked at me as she ran past me with tears streaming down her cheeks.
My dad stepped out and spotted me. “Evie,” he said with surprise.
“Dad.”
“Sorry you had to see that,” he muttered.
“Me too.”
“Come in.”
I followed him into his office. I felt bad for the girl. I felt bad for Xander. I had been wearing blinders for a long time when it came to my dad. I was always apologizing for him. Usually, I didn’t mind. It was second nature to me. I always chalked up his shitty behavior to his personality. I was beginning to see he really wasn’t very nice.
“What was that about?” I asked.
He waved a hand. “Another spoiled brat thinking she has the chops to make it as an engineer. I swear, every year it gets worse and worse.”
“I think you need to give some of these young adults a chance. You are judging them based on their looks.”
“Is that what he told you?” he sneered.
I sighed. “Can we sit down and talk for a minute?”
He gestured to the hard wooden chair. I sat down and waited while he took his seat behind his desk. “What brings you by?”
“I was waiting for you to call me. You didn’t. I figured an apology is best delivered in person.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” he started.
I leaned forward, putting my hand on his desk. “I’m not apologizing for anything. You owe me an apology.”
His eyes grew round. “You want me to apologize?”
“Yes.”
He offered a small smile. “All right, I’m sorry you are upset that I tried to help you. As your father, I need to do things that you don’t always like. It isn’t always pleasant, but it is necessary. I think they call it tough love.”
I should have known he would find a way around it. “You know that’s not what I’m asking for.”
“It’s all you are going to get.”
“Why do you hate him so bad? You can’t give me a good reason for disliking him. You have all these assumptions about him, but you don’t actually know him. Just like that girl that went running out of here. You assume the worst in people. You assume the younger generation isn’t worthy of your teaching. Why? That is your job. You are supposed to be imparting wisdom on the next generation.”
He studied me for several seconds. “I don’t have to explain anything to you. It is what it is, and I would appreciate it if you accept it and let me get back to work.”
“Dad! Why are you being so hateful?”
“I’m not being hateful,” he answered without any real inflection. “I know him. I know his type.”
“You are wrong.”
“Listen, Evie. You are a good girl. You have this natural inclination to like everyone. You see the good in people. I see the bad in people. I have lived on this earth a lot longer than you. I know people.”
“I’m not naïve. I know people. It’s what I do for a living. I read people. I anticipate their needs. Xander is not a bad guy.”
He scoffed. “Yeah, right. He is using you to get to me.”
“He didn’t even know you were my father!”
“Bullshit. It isn’t hard to figure out. Your last name. The college bio page.”
It was my turn to roll my eyes. “That would be assuming he stalked you. Do you really think he has followed you all these years? I think you are giving yourself too much credit. He is a successful man. The last thing he cares about is what you are doing.”
“So he says.”
“He has said nothing. He hasn’t said one word about you because he doesn’t think about you.”
“I don’t think of him either.”
“You sure do harbor a lot of hate for a man you don’t think about.”
“He is a pissant. A blip in my memory. Trust me. Stay away from him. He isn’t a good guy. That is something you can believe me about. I’m with guys like him all day. I see and hear how they treat the young women in this school. I will not have you be the subject of disgusting locker-room talk.”
“He isn’t in school. He isn’t the same as all the other guys you know.”
His expression changed. I knew the look. He was done. The conversation was over. “Just listen to me on this. Walk away from the guy. There are hundreds of other men out there. You don’t need this one.”
I got to my feet and moved to the door. I paused and turned back to look at him. “You know, I think I’m a responsible woman. I have never done anything to make you think otherwise. I’ve never done anything that puts my life in danger. I’ve always been a good girl. I’ve always taken care of you. I’ve always toed the line. Don’t you think you can trust me on this?”
“No.” He didn’t even try to soften his response. It was his usual no-nonsense approach. His way or the highway. It was no wonder him and Xander clashed. Xander was a strong personality. He was a little more subtle, but he was strong and stubborn and so much like my father.
“That’s too bad,” I said.
“Don’t make this a big deal,” he said nonchalantly. It was the same tone and demeanor he used when I was little and wanted an extra brownie. Or when I asked for a new car.
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br /> “It is a big deal. I’m going to date whomever I want. I trust my judgement. You raised me to be responsible and I am. You raised me to make decisions that I could trust. I trust myself on this.”
He slapped a hand on his desk. “I am your father! You will respect me.”
“I do respect you, but I respect me more.”
“This is not how you talk to your father.”
“I would expect my father to be supportive of my decisions.” I walked out of the office and headed down the hall. I didn’t stop walking.
I was so angry and hurt. I didn’t think it was too much to ask for a little support from him. He was jaded and set in his ways. He could have chosen to set aside those ways and heard me out. He didn’t. He had made me choose and I was not going to soon forget what he had done.
I got in my car and drove away. I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to come after me or not. Part of me did. I wanted him to apologize and tell me he was okay with me deciding who I would date. I wanted him to say he’d like to try dinner with Xander again.
But that was never going to happen.
When I got home, I had shaken off the sadness and was feeling a little more independent. Of course, I had always been independent, but I felt empowered. I had finally stood up to my father. It had been a long time coming. It felt good. It felt right, but part of me felt a little guilty for doing it.
I needed a drink. I poured myself a glass of wine and sat down on the couch to mull it all over. I had told my dad I would date whomever I wanted. I might have jumped the gun a little bit. I wasn’t even sure Xander and I were dating. I wasn’t sure he wanted to date me.
That didn’t matter. It wasn’t about Xander. It was about me and my dad and our relationship. For too long, I had been living the life of the good little girl. I had always been obedient. I had always done what he asked me to do and rarely put up an argument. I should have stood up to him much sooner.
I hoped we could move forward now that I had set some ground rules. I wasn’t all that hopeful. My father would wait for me to come crawling back. He would starve me of his attention until I couldn’t take it anymore. Then, and only then would I cave in and step back in line.
“No,” I said aloud. “I am not going to cave. I will stand strong.”
Chapter 31
Xander
I stood in the living room, looking around to make sure there wasn’t any dirty socks, trash, or anything else. I was probably being ridiculous, acting like a little old lady expecting company, but I wasn’t used to visitors.
I rarely got visitors. If I was being honest with myself, I got zero visitors. Charlie didn’t count. I supposed I could count Evie. Two. Exactly two visitors.
After assuring myself the room was ready for company, I checked the kitchen. I was just moving the bowl of fresh fruit to a new spot on the counter when I heard the doorbell. I quickly made my way to the front door.
“Hi,” I greeted.
Kade grinned and launched himself at me. He wrapped me in his arms, giving me a bro hug. I patted his back before he released me.
“Damn, did you get taller?” he teased.
I laughed. “I think you got shorter. All those years packing around a heavy ruck will do that to you.”
I opened the door and gestured for him to come inside. He picked up the small duffel sitting next to his feet and followed me in. “This is a nice place,” he said with genuine appreciation. “Are you right on the beach?”
“I am. Well, above the beach. Come on. I’ll give you the grand tour. Do you want a beer?”
“Hell yeah, I do. I’m on leave.”
“How could I forget the rules? Alcohol, alcohol, women, and then more alcohol.”
“And sleep. Don’t forget sleep. In a bed with a pillow and a warm fuzzy blanket.”
I closed the door and led him into the wide-open living space.
He walked to the bank of windows and looked out at the ocean. “This is a hell of a view.”
“It sure is,” I agreed. “It’s really what sold me on the place. One look out those windows and I knew I had to have the place.”
He turned and slowly took in the rest of the house before I led him upstairs and then finally out to the patio area. There was an expanse of green lawn with plenty of shade trees to the left. The patio led to a deck that was multi-level with stairs off the side that led down to the beach. The outdoor living space was as big as the indoor living space, which was exactly what I wanted in a home.
“I’ll grab us a couple beers,” I said.
“Can we get down to the beach from here?”
“We can. I’m sure you are used to a little physical activity.”
I walked into the house and grabbed a couple of beers before rejoining him on the patio. He was spacing out, staring at the ocean. I stood back and let him be. It was something else I learned from my father. Whenever he came back, he tended to do that. He would space out, lost in thought. We learned not to startle him. I waited a few more minutes and then cleared my throat.
He turned to look at me with the usual smile on his face. I handed him the beer. “Thanks.”
“Ready to go down?”
He shrugged. “Maybe we can just chill here for a few.”
“Works for me. I’m not sure I can keep up with you on those stairs.”
We sat down at the patio table, both of us leaning back and hiding under the shade of the umbrella overhead.
“This is a really nice place,” he commented.
“Thanks,” I answered.
“No, really. This is prime real estate. The house is great but the view? The land? You have really, really done well for yourself.”
His words were exactly what I had been craving to hear. I just wished it was my father saying them. He never would. He refused to acknowledge I had done anything with my life. He refused to accept the fact I had made the right choice by following my dreams instead of his.
“Thanks. Really, I appreciate it.”
“You didn’t say you lived in a house like this,” he said. “Are you embarrassed?”
“No, not at all.”
“Then why didn’t you ever send me pictures?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to be a douchebag.”
He laughed. “You are a douchebag. Sending me a few pictures isn’t going to make it any worse.”
“Good to know.”
“Didn’t you tell me you had a boat?”
“I do.”
“Then why in the hell are we sitting here?”
I smiled and got to my feet. “All you had to do was say so. We’ll swing by the store and get some food.”
“And beer.”
“And beer,” I assured him.
Just over an hour later, we were heading out for open water. He sat on one of the couches, a beer in one hand and his other arm across the back. “This is good,” he said with a huge smile.
“When you get out, you have to get a boat.”
“I will. I’m going to.”
“Have you thought about where you will land once you’re out?”
He shrugged. “No, not really.”
“Are you re-upping?”
He shrugged again. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it. When I’m in the shit, all I can think about is getting back home and living a normal life. Then I get home and I miss being over there. Isn’t that fucked up?”
“Not at all. You crave the action. You’ve made a life in the Marines. You have friends, or brothers rather. I think you need to do what is right for you.”
“I have another year before I need to decide. I was thinking about going to officer school.”
“Then you are considering making it a career?”
“I guess I am.”
I drove the boat out a little farther before setting the anchor and moving to sit down on the other couch. “How is Dad?” I asked him.
“Good. All he does is fish, from the sounds of it.”
“He asks me about you a lot.”
I wasn’t sure I believed that. “Bullshit.”
“No, really. When I call home, he asks if I’ve heard from you.”
“He could call me himself,” I said.
Kade took a drink from the bottle. “He could, but you know he’s stubborn. He does care about you.”
“I think he cares about me because I’m his son. He certainly doesn’t like me. He doesn’t like what I do or what I have become.”
Kade laughed. “Remember when he used to run drills with us?”
I rolled my eyes, groaning at the memory. “How could I forget? He would get us up when it was still dark outside. Mom used to get so pissed at him.”
“Lance, they are little boys. You can’t get them out of bed that early. They are going to need a nap!” He said it in a falsetto voice, imitating my mother.
“They are going to learn to be tough,” I said in a deep voice, pretending to be my father.
Kade shook his head. “I think I was three the first time he taught me to do pushups.”
“And running the mile, I think I was six the first time he started timing me.”
“Mom always tried to get him to lighten up. Remember when I fell during the obstacle course?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “How could I forget? I thought Mom was going to beat Dad with a two by four. She was so pissed. She picked you up, hauled you to the car to take you to the emergency room, and left me and Dad standing there.”
“The whole way to the hospital, I kept telling her I was okay. She wasn’t having it. She was so pissed.”
I thought about that day. It was one I remembered very well. “He was nervous,” I told him. “He didn’t let me quit but he told me to be careful. I think if it had been the other way around, he wouldn’t have given two shits. He would have made me suck it up.”
“Whatever.”
“It’s true. You were his favorite. You can’t deny that.”
“I didn’t mean to be,” he said apologetically.
“But you were. I don’t blame you for it. You can’t help being who you are.”