by Parker, Ali
I turned to face Xander, threw my arms around him, and rested my cheek against his chest. “You are a good man. You are selfless. He can’t see it, but I do. I know what you are doing is helping our country. It is helping the entire world. Your ships are saving fossil fuels, and with less gas being used, less emissions. Right?”
He smiled, reaching up to cup my face in his hands. “Right. I just wish he could see it.”
“I know, sweetie. I know.”
“Sweetie?” he questioned, raising his eyebrows. “Did you just call me sweetie?”
“I did.”
“I like it,” he said after a few seconds.
“Good, because I think I like calling you sweetie.”
He dropped a kiss on my forehead, mindful of the very young audience crowding around us before we finally made our way to the lion exhibit.
Chapter 35
Xander
I parked my car in the massive parking lot reserved for the hundreds of dock workers. I checked my watch, wincing when I confirmed my suspicions. I was late.
For the life of me, getting to where I was supposed to be on time seemed like an impossible feat. I tried and I tried but something always happened.
I made my way down to the right dock and immediately spotted Charlie. He had his hands on his hips and was staring out at the massive cargo ship in the harbor. By his stance, I could see he wasn’t happy.
He had called and asked me to come down and give him some ideas. Apparently, there was a ship coming in for repairs. Charlie was stumped and needed some fresh eyes on how to take care of the issue.
It was my thing. The ship wasn’t one of mine, but I didn’t mind offering some advice to a friend. It wasn’t like I needed the money, so I never charged him a consultation fee. There were a few companies that I did charge because the owners or CEOs were dicks. Probably not the most professional way of doing business, but it was my way.
“Hey,” I said, coming to stand next to Charlie.
“Look at that.” He gestured out toward the water.
I watched the ship slowly make its way in. “What am I looking at?”
“See how tough it is for the captains to navigate in here?”
I nodded. “Always has been,” I said, my mind already whirring.
“This is your thing,” he commented. “Do you know how much time it would save if I could get these ships into dry dock faster? This one is coming in with a rudder problem. There are always rudder problems. It has basically left this ship incapacitated. Thankfully, the captain is an experienced guy and has been able to get her this far.”
“Propeller?” I said the word without asking a specific question.
“It seems to be fine.”
“These ships are losing valuable time having to come in here. This one should be halfway around the world and yet it’s going to be sitting in my dock for at least a week. The company has to pay to unload it and load the cargo on a new ship. Valuable time is lost.”
“I get it,” I told him. “I do.”
“Your ships seem to be doing okay with rudders. Granted, they haven’t been in service as long as some of these antiques, but can’t you come up with a way to fix this? Don’t you have some genius plan that could make rudders flawless?”
“No.”
He smirked. “All right, then.”
“No, I don’t have a plan yet, but I have some ideas. I’ll come back once you’ve got her pulled out of the water.”
“Really?” he asked, looking a little surprised.
“It’s why you called me out here, right?”
“Yes, but I didn’t think you would have any ideas that fast.”
I smiled and patted him on the back. “It’s why they pay me the big bucks. I need to do some thinking and a lot of math, but I will try and get something put together. I don’t know if it will be in time for this ship but maybe for the next.”
“Wait,” he said, furrowing his brow. “I think I just turned you onto a new design. You are going to put it on your ships and make a shitload of money. I might be owed a finder’s fee or something.”
“We’ll see. I don’t know if anything I’m thinking will work. I need some time.”
“I can already see your wheels spinning. This is what you looked like back in college. You would space out and then come back with some wacky idea for a ship. That’s what you are doing.”
“I’m trying, but your yapping is interfering with my thinking.”
He chuckled. “Come on. Let’s go get some really shitty coffee from Oscar over there.”
I looked at the small stand that did not appear to be all that inviting. I followed him, each of us getting a small coffee before sitting at one of the mismatched table sets dock workers would normally take their breaks at.
“How did it go with Kade?”
“Good, really good. I introduced him to Evie.”
His eyes widened. “No shit? That’s a big step.”
I shrugged. “It wasn’t that big of a deal.”
“It sure the hell is a big deal. Did he hit on her?”
“He didn’t dare. I would have beat his ass if he did.”
Charlie laughed. “Yes, I’m sure you would have.”
“Kade wants me to go up to Oregon,” I said, kind of testing the waters.
“Are you going to do it?”
“I doubt it.”
“Still don’t want to see your dad?” he asked.
“No. I don’t know. For so long, I have felt like a failure in his eyes. I have felt like I wasn’t worthy to be in his presence. Now, I’m not so sure about that.”
“What’s changed?”
“Evie. Evie has made me feel differently about the whole thing.”
I didn’t miss his sly smile. “Color me shocked.”
His sarcasm was warranted. “I know you’ve been saying it for years, but you are not as pretty or as eloquent as she is.”
He laughed. “I’m not sure that’s an insult.”
“She called me selfless.” I didn’t want to brag, but it was the first time in my life I had been called selfless. I had been called selfish more times than I could count. Even when I gave to charity and the grateful members of one board or another would call me generous, selfless felt completely different.
“Does that make you happy?”
“Yes, asshole,” I muttered.
“Just checking. You are an odd duck. I never know what gets you off and what pisses you off.”
“I’m not that odd. She said I’m selfless because although I didn’t go into the Marines and go kill bad guys, I am changing the world in my own little way.”
“Dude, I’ve been telling you that for years,” he said with disgust.
I shrugged. “I guess I wasn’t listening. You aren’t as pretty as she is. When she said it, it meant something.”
“It meant something when I said it,” he protested.
“You sound like a jealous lover,” I warned him.
“You are changing the world. If you can figure out this rudder problem, you will not only change the world but change my life. I’ll have weekends off. I’ll get to work a normal eight-hour day. I might even get to take a real vacation.”
“I don’t want to put you out of work,” I teased.
He laughed, shaking his head and pointing toward the harbor. “There are a lot of old ships out there. I’ve got enough work to last me three lifetimes.”
“This is true.”
“It really is a game changer,” he said. “What you are doing is going to just make life easier for the world in general. People want goods faster. They don’t want to pay ridiculous shipping fees. You are making it all the better. That award you won is just the first of many. I’m sure you are going to have yourself a Nobel prize in the near future.”
I sipped the horrible coffee. “I have to admit, I never did any of this because I wanted to change the world. I didn’t do it because I was thinking about global warming or climate change.
The designs just made sense. I don’t need awards or recognition. Selling my ships is enough.”
“Yeah, because you make a lot of money.”
“That doesn’t hurt,” I answered honestly. “If people are willing to pay, I’m willing to do my part for mankind.”
“And you are a scientist,” he agreed. “Scientists look at facts. You saw a problem and you fixed it. You weren’t looking for accolades, awards, or a pat on the back. You got rich for the right reasons. You weren’t screwing anyone over.
“No, I wasn’t and I’m still not. I would like a little acceptance from my father. And hers. I would like for them to be able to admit I’m not a total loser. They don’t even have to tell me I did something good. I just want them to look at me with decency and not complete disdain.”
“You are not a loser. I don’t think anyone actually thinks that. How can they? You are the most successful guy I know. You are right up there with Gates and Jobs.”
I laughed. “I don’t think so. I wouldn’t want to be. That’s way too much pressure.”
“You are whether you like it or not. You’ve only been doing this for ten years. Just think what you will come up with in the next ten. Like this rudder problem. You are going to fix it and it is going to revolutionize the shipping world. I bet you’ll have it so good, these ships will come into the harbor like a Ferrari. Tight corners, speed, and steering like they are on rails.”
“Yeah, I don’t see that happening. If you think that’s possible, you have no business doing what you do.”
“Like it or not, you are doing selfless things. You can call it making sense, but you choosing to make ships more efficient is pretty fucking cool.”
“Thanks.”
“It makes you just a little less of a dick,” he added.
“Gee, just a little?”
He held up two fingers and put them very close together. “That much and that is being generous.”
“Call me when you get that thing up and out. I’m going back to my office to work on some stuff.”
“You mean my new rudder. You are going to work on my new rudder.”
I got to my feet and shrugged. “It isn’t like it’s going to just fall out of my head. Even if what I’m thinking does work, it’s going to take some time. You know that.”
“I do know that and I’m okay with waiting. I know you’ll do it.”
“I’ll talk to you later,” I told him and headed for my car.
I had an itch to sketch. My brain was being bombarded with a hundred different ideas. I didn’t know what would work and what wouldn’t, but I was going to solve the issue. It might not be tomorrow or even the next month. I would figure it out. I was looking forward to having something to work on, to fixate on.
I drove to the office, forcing myself to focus on my driving. I did get a little distracted when I had a new puzzle to solve. I could get obsessed. I tried to tell myself to keep it in check. Maybe things would be different this time. Evie would keep me from getting too wrapped up in the project. She would force me to leave the office. She would make me eat and shower.
And hopefully want to distract me in other ways.
When I got to the office, I closed the door, making it clear I was not to be disturbed. I was going to give the project my full attention for the day. I rubbed my hands together and pulled out my yellow pad. That was where it always started.
I had to purge the millions of thoughts pelting my brain. Once I got it on paper, I could begin to sort through it all. I reached for the fresh pack of Post-its. My office was about to get very messy.
I grinned, thinking of the coming days. It had been a long time since I’d gotten to design. It was like taking a hit from my favorite drug after giving it up for a long time.
Chapter 36
Evie
It was just after five when I pulled into the shopping center. I had tried to get off work earlier, but with the day off on Monday, I was swamped. I couldn’t neglect my friends. At least, that was what Nelle had said when she demanded I take part in some retail therapy. I called her to find out where she was.
I walked into the clothing store she was at and quickly spotted her. “I like it,” I said as I walked up to where she was holding up a pretty blouse.
“Who are you?” she asked without looking at me. “You sound a lot like my friend Evie, but I think she fell off the face of the earth.”
“Ha ha. I’m sorry. I’ve been busy.”
“Not too busy for your man,” she said.
“Actually, I saw him Monday and that’s it. Well and Sunday, but that doesn’t count.”
“You are forgiven, with one stipulation,” she said.
I groaned. “What would that be?”
“Have dinner with me,” she answered.
I burst into laughter. “Yes. I’m free for the rest of the night.”
“Good. Now, I need a skirt to go with this.”
I began to browse the racks and not only found her a skirt but found myself a few things as well. I usually did the bulk of my shopping online. I never had time to spend a leisurely day shopping. It was nice.
We made our purchases and moved on to another store that specialized in accessories.
“What did you guys do Sunday?” she asked. “That’s your decompress day.”
“It is and I did decompress with Xander and his brother.”
She spun around so fast, she looked like a figure skater. “You did what?” she shrieked. “Evie, you have really, really turned a corner. I know I’ve been telling you to loosen up, but damn, woman. You dirty.”
I rolled my eyes. “Are you done?”
“His brother?”
“Yes, his brother and there was nothing dirty about it. You need to pull your mind out of the gutter. I worry about you sometimes.”
She offered a cheesy grin. “Do not worry about me. I’m a very healthy, happy woman.”
“I know you are.”
“So, what’s his brother like? Is he wealthy?”
“He’s a Marine,” I answered. “His brother is fun. He’s very different from Xander, or at least the Xander I first met. Now that I know Xander a little better, I have seen the more playful side, but his brother is like that naturally.”
“Is he hot?”
“He’s attractive, but Xander is better looking in my opinion. Although I’m sure some women would think differently. Kade has that vibe about him, you know? Like he was probably voted most popular in school and his contact list is probably filled.”
She scowled at me, one hand on her hip. “You are a really shitty friend. I might have to rethink our friendship.”
My mouth dropped open. “What? Why would you say that?”
“You met a hot, eligible bachelor and you didn’t bother to call me. It’s like you are hogging all the hot guys for yourself. That’s not cool.”
“Uh, he’s in the Marines. He was in town for two days. He doesn’t have time for you. And I don’t know if he is single. It’s not like I chase them down.”
“You could have asked,” she pouted. “You know I’m not one to turn down a handsome guy.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s for sure. If he comes back to town, I will definitely ask if he would like to meet you.”
“Don’t ask. Do.”
“I did think about you, if that makes you feel any better. I do think the two of you would hit it off. He’s spunky. You’re spunky. We would have so much fun together. Maybe Xander will take all of us out on his boat.”
Her eyes sparkled with excitement. “That would be fun. I like that idea. When is he coming back?”
“I don’t know. He didn’t know.”
She popped out her lower lip. “That sucks.”
“It does suck, and I think Xander was bummed,” I told her. “I liked hanging out with them. It was nice to see Xander and his brother banter back and forth. And Kade did not hold back. He gave me lots of insight into Xander’s past. I feel like I know him so much better a
fter a couple of hours hanging with him and his brother.”
She paused what she was doing and looked at me. “You are really falling for this guy.”
I grimaced, wrinkling my nose. “I am. Is that bad?”
“Why would it be a bad thing? He sounds like a great guy. I’m practically falling for him and I don’t know him.”
“Great guy doesn’t negate all the other things.”
“What other things? I’m so confused. Good is good.”
“Let’s see. My dad hates him.”
“Your dad isn’t sleeping with him,” she retorted.
“Gross,” I murmured.
“Next,” she said, waving her hand.
“We agreed to be friends. We wanted to keep things casual. What I feel does not feel casual.”
She shrugged. “And why is that a bad thing?”
“Because what if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
She looked thoughtful. “Your face says you are falling for him.”
I was confused. “What does that mean?”
“You have told me many times you can read people really well. You can be just as guarded with your heart as you tell me he is. You are open and warm and loving, but you keep things on a very surface level.”
“That’s not true,” I protested.
“When is the last time you were in love?”
I thought about it. “I don’t know.”
“Exactly. You haven’t. Trust yourself with this. Don’t start attaching a bunch of rules and hangups.”
I sighed. “I don’t want to, but it’s self-preservation. I don’t want to get hurt.”
“Nobody wants to get hurt,” she said.
“Definitely not.”
“What are you going to do about your dad? You can’t let him get in the way of your happiness.”
I slowly shook my head. “I have no idea. I tried to talk to him. He isn’t budging.”
“Maybe try to explain to him Xander is important to you. He should understand love. He loved your mother.”
The memory of his grief still tugged at my heart. “Yes, he did.”
“What if that’s why he is so against you getting together with Xander?”