by Boone, Azure
If he got out…what would he do with her? He only knew one thing. She was his to take care of. He wouldn’t pretend he didn’t see her feelings for him. She adored him to a near worshipful point. It wasn’t healthy but he was the only person in her life that had ever shown her any love what more could anybody expect?
And it wasn’t that Seth hadn’t wanted to be with her back then. It was in fact the one thing that made it all better. To be able to touch her was something he craved. Not for the pleasure. Just for the contact. He’d liked her. Really liked her. She was a ray of hope during a dark time in a strange way. When he did things with her, he could pretend. And he did. He pretended that they were married and in love. He’d kiss her tenderly. Touch her with reverence even though he knew he’d get beaten for it. No kindness. No tenderness allowed. But he didn’t care, they’d beat him anyway.
Seth smiled remembering how they eventually found a way to communicate their feelings without getting punished. A soft touch where they couldn’t see. A soft kiss between the pain. She began following his lead and did the same thing to him. It was their secret. Right under their noses, they managed to sneak a tiny bit of goodness into the hell.
But Seth didn’t forget the days when it was more than either of them could take. It would end in crying and screaming. Begging for fucking mercy. He’d never beg for her mercy. He’d made that mistake only once and he still couldn’t get around the guilt of what that had gotten her. He thought she’d died. All the bad was sandwiched among the few moments of good he’d ever known. And he’d learned to remember both just like he’d learned to live it.
****
“That bastard is going to make me call him,” Daniel muttered.
“Oh honey, don’t even think of that, today is special.”
“I’m sorry, you’re right.” He pulled her close after hitting the fourth floor button in the elevator then kissed her on the top of the head.
Sofia smiled to herself. “You want me to call him? After the appointment, I mean I don’t mind.”
“What? God no.”
“Okay, okay.” She leaned her head on his arm. “Are you ready to see your son?”
“My son?” The door dinged open. “You know something I don’t?”
She giggled. “Well, I have a feeling.”
“Are you serious? You think it’s a boy?”
The immense excitement in his voice made her panic. “I’m not positive baby, I just said I have a feeling.”
“Oh my God. How long have you felt that way?”
“Just…for like a few months.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
“I thought it was better to wait.”
“Till just before.”
“Yes, I mean if I waited till after, it’d seem all yeah sure you had a feeling.”
“I would’ve believed you!”
“I know, I know,” she cooed at hearing his offense. “Maybe I didn’t want to jinx the feeling either.”
“Wow, you are so superstitious sometimes.”
“Yeah, I know.” She didn’t know where she got it. Maybe experience at a subconscious level. “Let me tell you about the feeling I had.” She stopped just before the office door in the hall. “I was standing at the sink washing dishes.” She laughed at seeing his immediate perplexity. “It relaxes me. Anyway, I get this like image in my mind of a boy. A baby boy. And he tells me I’m coming.”
His handsome face morphed with worry and she slapped his chest.
“I know it’s weird but it’s true,” Sofia said, “don’t make me sorry I told you.”
He pulled her in his arms and pressed her face into his chest possessively. She closed her eyes and smiled when his warm breath hit her ear. “I love you no matter how weird you are.” He put his hand on her belly and rubbed it with slow circles, not missing an inch. “Son or daughter, they’re perfect.”
Awwww, how sweet.
In the small exam room, Sofia laid on her back, not liking the feeling. “Can’t breathe good.”
“Turn on your side until she’s ready,” Daniel said.
She gave him her hand and he took her forearm and helped her turn. “Geeze you need to quit force feeding me, I’m getting too fat.”
“You’re perfect.”
“I already gained twenty pounds! The chart in the book said I should gain like twenty eight total.”
“Not for first time pregnancy sweet heart. Remember it said it’s not uncommon for you to gain more?”
“Not uncommon when you have a husband that constantly crams delicious food in your mouth.” She whimpered. “I’m hungry.”
“You hardly touched your omelet.”
She snorted. “I mean like for a waffle or something. With syrup!”
“I tell you what, how about when we get home, I make you a huge home-made wheat waffle with—”
“Wheat!? Not wheat!”
“What’s wrong with wheat? You like it.”
She so didn’t appreciate the laughter in his voice. “No I don’t I hate it. It’s…dirty tasting like somebody scraped it over the ground.”
He busted out in snickers.
“It’s not funny. You know I like sweets and you’re killing me.”
“Okay fine, I’ll make you bad waffles. Only for you.”
The door opened. “Bad waffles? I’d like some bad waffles.” Dr. Bethany stopped next to the bed with her hands on her hips and a huge smile on her face. “You ready?”
“I am.” Daniel aimed his phone at Sofia, recording. “Smile mommy.”
She grinned at his sweet tone. He was worth the hunger pains.
“Okay let’s get you prepped with goo. I need you to raise your top and lower your pants.”
“Oh, I need to take them off?”
She came with a tube of clear stuff. “No no, just the waist band, lower it.” She helped get it where she needed then pulled the machine closer to the bed. “Can you see?”
Sofia angled her head back a little and nodded. Daniel stood on the opposite side of her and held her hand. “You can see?” she asked him.
“Perfectly.”
“Make sure it’s recording.” Once she’d missed an entire baby shower having pressed the wrong button. At the end when it was done, she hit play thinking she’d hit stop.
“Don’t worry, I am.”
She put the goo on her stomach—“Little cold, sorry”—and immediately began sliding it around. They all focused on the screen. “Ah, there she is. Sorry, she is the rhetorical sex I choose.”
“Oh my God look at that,” Daniel whispered.
“Nice shaped head.” She slid right and pointed at the screen. “She’s breech but she has plenty of time to flip. Nice sized femur. From the looks of it, I’d say we’re right on schedule with our due date.” She rolled up. “Spine looks great. I’ll take measurements after we play a bit. Oh. Look at that,” she pointed to the screen, “somebody’s got a full bladder.”
Daniel gushed out a laugh and another oh my God. Sofia’s heart raced and swelled all at once. Such a tiny baby. Wow. And hearing Daniel’s constant sounds of sheer awe and joy was undoing her. She needed to not break down.
“Let’s see if we can get a look between those legs,” the doc mumbled, moving the thing slowly along the bottom of her belly for several seconds while all eyes riveted to the screen. “Oh, do you see that?”
“Is that...” Daniel pushed the phone closer.
“A very nice set of testicles is what that is,” the doc said, sounding thrilled.
“A boy?” Sofia gasped.
“A very healthy looking boy,” Dr. Bethany added.
Daniel suddenly kissed Sofia on the lips, a long firm kiss before whispering, “Thank you.”
“It’s my fault?” She laughed then saw the tears in his eyes and promptly lost it. She put a hand over her mouth, fighting back the sob in her chest. Then he put his face next to hers and whispered an emotional and broken “I love you, thank you” in her ear. She
held on to his neck as he cried on her shoulder, just openly cried. It was suddenly okay to lose it now. It was perfect.
Chapter Twelve
“Where are you going?” Sofia looked around the crowded mall parking lot.
“Get a frame for my son’s picture.” He said it like what else would he do immediately after getting that.
Sofia smiled all giddy. Daniel’s cell vibrated in the cup holder and she picked it up. “The house.” She answered it and a rattle of gasped Romanian flowed into the phone. “Dara? Slow down, what’s wrong?”
“Oh my God oh my God momma, he’s here!”
“Who’s there?” Sofia snapped her gaze to Daniel.
“Seth! Seth is home!”
“Seth is home?” She widened her eyes and Daniel covered his face with both hands. “We’re on our way.” She hung up the phone and immediately hugged Daniel who again, broke down.
“Fuck,” he gasped. “I feel like all my dreams have come true in one day.” Hearing the joy and emotion in the rasped broken words brought Sofia’s own tears. She grabbed his face and kissed his lips over and over. “You deserve this baby, I love you so much.”
The drive home was nauseating for Sofia. Watching Daniel go slowly home had to be the hardest thing ever. They finally pulled into the driveway. “Go, I know you want to, I’m right behind you.” Sofia undid her belt and tears gushed when he tore out of the car like a child on his first Christmas morning. Sofia stood at the car and paused when Seth met him halfway. They both froze a few feet away from each other.
“Look what the cat dragged home,” Daniel said.
The sweet smile Seth gave was apparently as heartbreaking to Daniel as it was to her. He pulled his brother into a tight hug and Sofia let out a sob as she made her way toward them. She neared and the sound of their broken cries made her bawl. She put her arms around both of them and soon Dara was in on the hug as well. Sounded like a damn funeral.
“What the hell kind of soap opera you all got going on out here.” Gammie slowly made her way out. “You realize you have a corner lot. Don’t be surprised when you find yourself plastered all over that You Television.”
They all gasped a laugh at her. “You Tube Gammie,” Sofia said, wiping her eyes.
“Yeah that. Ben has been making me watch it with him. Seems there’s an endless supply of reality comedy.”
Ben? Who the hell was that?
Sofia looked around for Sarah. Where was she?
“Wow, look at you,” Seth said, facing her. He pointed at her belly. “I see Danny is taking good care of you.”
She smiled and gave him a tight hug. “Welcome home, we missed you.” She hoped it wasn’t too much, Daniel was still easily provoked to jealousy. And she didn’t mind that at all. Seth kept the hug cordial thankfully, not that she expected anything else. Was hard not too though after the fits Daniel had about him at first.
“Did you see Sarah?” Sofia whispered in the ear opposite of Dara.
He shook his head and whispered back, “Didn’t know she was here.”
Oh my God. “Yes, I hope that’s okay, we just thought it was…”
“I’m glad,” he hurried then raked his short cropped blonde hair with a hand as though he’d said too much.
“Let’s bring this soap opera inside as Rachel puts it,” Daniel said.
“Isn’t he adorable momma?” Dara put her hands on Seth’s cheeks and shook his head a little. Then kissed him. He seemed to let her but it was hard to know if he wanted to. Time would tell.
Sofia hurried inside to find Sarah, wondering where she was, kinda scared to know. She went to her bedroom and then the closed bathroom door and knocked.
“Yes?”
“It’s me. Sofia.”
“I…I am…”
Sofia listened closely and was sure she heard crying. “Can I come in?”
A few seconds later, the door unlocked. Sofia carefully went in and shut the door. “Why aren’t you out there?”
She sat on the toilet, looking down and shook her head.
“What? What’s wrong?”
She shrugged her shoulder and wiped tears away.
Sofia went sit on the tub next to her and saw that she’d been crying a while. “Talk to me, let me help you.”
She gasped a dry laugh. “Help me? You can help me be beautiful like her?” She threw her hand toward the door.
“Honey, you’re beautiful too, why are you saying that?”
“I am skinny. No breast, no butt, no…” The final word wailed out. “…no anything good. Cannot read, cannot cook, cannot…” she stopped again, straining. She shook her head and faced Sofia and it cut her breath to see the look in her eyes. The look of somebody that knew they were useless and nothing. “Don’t know how to even dress, don’t know how to be a…a good girl, I don’t want to be bad, I don’t want to be a bad girl.” Her head shook and she let Sofia pull her in for a hug.
“Stop that,” Sofia gasped. “You’re not bad. You’re not.” She rubbed her back, the bones in her spine too pronounced. Daniel should be force feeding Sarah, not her. That needed to change. That would change. “Now let’s get you fixed up, okay? I can help with that!” Sofia said excited. “Would you like that?”
Sarah sobbed and hugged her tighter. “I never have a sister like this. Thank you.”
“Well first,” Sofia stood and pulled her up, “you’ll need to dry those eyes if I’m going to put make up on you.”
“Make up?”
“Yes, I’m going to make you look beautiful.” Dara would hate her for this but like Sofia could deny this poor girl that little bit. If Seth loved Dara like she claimed, then this wouldn’t change a thing. But this pitiful damaged person deserved happiness just like anybody else. She deserved a shot at it, at least. And she deserved that with Seth. After suffering through what she did with him, she’d owned that right.
Sofia worked her magic in less than thirty minutes. It was easy to do with her, she was a natural beauty. She made her take a five minute shower and wash her hair. Then she blow dried it and passed a straightener through it before putting it up in a sensual twist with strands of hair framing her face.
Sofia found another dress to put on her, one of Sofia’s sundresses. Red. “Ohhhh look at you,” Sofia whispered at her in the mirror. “You look like a dazzling Spanish princess!” And she did. Maybe one from a poor village but nevertheless royalty. One with a strong bloodline and prominent bone structure. Her bright green eyes stood out in her flawless skin. Well not flawless. She had a few scars on her face. None Sofia wanted to know about. One tiny white triangular one next to her upper lip. An inch long thin line on her chin. Another thicker gash across her brow. All faded white with time.
But none of it could hide her beauty. Even after several episodes of teeth brushing, it was clear she was in dire need of dental attention. Mostly scraping and whitening, but nothing professional tools couldn’t fix easily. And those brows. She needed to harness those runaway brows.
The girl smiled with fascination in the mirror with that expression of ‘who is that person? Couldn’t be her. Could it?’
“You ready? They’ll think we drowned in here.”
Daniel had come knocking fifteen minutes before and Sofia had explained what was going on and he covered for her. He was glad she was helping. “Make her look nice,” he’d mouthed. She knew he hoped Sarah ended up with Seth. She wasn’t sure why, but dammit, either way it was all shitty, the whole predicament.
Sofia took one more look at her quick groom job. From her eyebrows, to her toenails, finishing with red polish. Fastest make over in the world. Sarah had no jewelry but didn’t need any. She was a half a size below Sofia in shoes so, her red sandaled pumps fit her close enough. Sofia cringed inside. Dara would hate her. Feel betrayed. Dara was beautiful in her own way, but this girl had much more. Minus confidence.
“Chin up. Back straight. You’re beautiful, you’re a princess, you’re Spanish royalty.”
Sarah giggled and blushed. Then she fanned her face and looked up at the ceiling before closing her eyes and muttering foreign syllables. “I am so nervous.”
Sofia suddenly realized that maybe trying to slip in with Miss Dominican Republic wasn’t the wisest idea. “Would you prefer to say hi to Seth in private first?”
She looked unsure and hesitant with a spark of hope and interest.
“He’d probably much prefer that. And it would give you a chance to…talk about things?” Sofia pointed to her tummy.
The girl looked down and worried at her lip while holding her womb. “So scared to tell. What if he is angry? Thinks…”
Sofia took her hands. “Seth is a good man. He cares about you a lot. Don’t be afraid of him.”
She looked down and nodded. “Yes. Very good man.” She leveled clear green eyes on her. “Not afraid of Seth.” She gave a small smile.
“Okay. You go in your room and I’ll…get him?”
“My room?”
Sofia eyed her. “The one you sleep in?”
She appeared confused then gave a small smile and nodded. “My room. I go…to my room.”
Sofia’s heart clenched at how the poor girl got so much joy out of the strangest thing. Like that being her room. Sofia had told her that before, but apparently she didn’t believe her? Hear her? Who knew? And really it was Daniel’s office. He’d moved everything into the garage and covered it so that she had her own space.
Sofia left and went signal Daniel.
“Figured it might be a better idea for Seth to go see her in her room? I didn’t want to embarrass anybody.”
“Fantastic idea baby.” He kissed her forehead and rushed off to get Seth.
Chapter Thirteen
Seth followed Daniel to the back when he got the hand signal. Seth met him in the hall near the bathroom and leaned in close to his brother at seeing it was something on the down low. Daniel pointed to his office door and whispered, “Sarah is in there.”
His heart jolted with fear. “She okay?”